Ikigai
by Lanse
Summary: What could the darkness ever give to the light but a place to shine? SasuHina, some NejiTen.
1. in Dreams

**A/N**- Whew! I really have got to stop writing these novel length fanfictions. In any case, for the fans of **The Chill of Winter**, be forewarned that this Sasuke/Hinata story is far from sweet and fluffy. There will be WAFFy moments, but there's also a substantial amount of drama, angst, action, and adventure. You know me. It's gotta have it all. So let's get down to it.

**Info:** This follows the Naruto timeline up to the point when Sasuke first encounters Naruto and Sakura again in Shippuden. There might be _some _similarities to occurrences in the canon timeline after that, but not many. Also, I started this story before finding out the truth about Itachi so it is written with the view that he is still, well, evil. My apologies to Itachi fans. If any of the characters appear to be OOC, _**it is not intentional**_, merely a result of the situation they've been placed in that they normally would not encounter and I based their words and action on how I think they might react based on their known personalities. The Rookie 9 are 18 years old.

_**Ikigai**_ means "that which makes life _most_ worth living" and the title of each chapter ties tightly to this. For example the full sense of this chapter title is "that which makes life most worth living _in dreams_."

Disclaimer: Naruto does not belong to me. What would I do with a bunch of ninja anyway?

Enjoy!

_**Ikigai**_

**in Dreams**

**Chapter 1**

Raven locks reflected iridescent blue in the dim lighting of the room. It'd grown since he first laid eyes on her several months ago, draping over the pillow like a dark waterfall of silk. He touched it once, to see if it felt as soft as it looked. The brittle strands had slipped through his fingers, soft and coarse as sand.

The muted beeping of the monitors proved her to be alive though she appeared to be little more than a statue of death. The respirator forced her chest up and down in a sick parody of breathing. Numerous tubes assisted the artificial existence, wires taped to different parts of her body making her appear even more frail and vulnerable in the small bed. She was weakness personified and yet…

It was an accident the first time he saw her. He'd suffered a serious injury during training and came looking for Kabuto to heal it so he could get back to the dojo. It was merely a glimpse then through the closing door, but he was an observant man and made certain to miss nothing no matter how simple a word or gesture it might be.

Within the two seconds it took for Kabuto to close the door to the private room, he'd registered dark hair and a small body in a bed hooked up to monitors and machines. It wasn't the first time the medic-nin used some poor sap as a guinea pig and certainly not the last, so he paid it no more mind.

Then Kabuto started pestering him about his Sharingan again, wanting to do tests and study it. Irritation motivated him to investigate just what exactly the medic was up to and he knew it had everything to do with that one room he seemed so intent on keeping secret.

At first he didn't recognize her. She was nothing but flesh and bone and entirely unresponsive to outside stimulus. The name scrawled across one of the observation charts told him in one word exactly who she was, why she was there, and why Kabuto had been pestering him. The question it didn't answer was _how_ she got there in the first place, not that it mattered much to him. As long as Kabuto stayed out of his way, he didn't care what the creep did.

He was nobody's hero.

When he walked out of the secluded room that day he had no intention of ever coming back. And he didn't…for a few weeks.

He hardly slept anymore, never more than two or three hours at a time. Every time he closed his eyes he saw nothing but blood and death. His body ached from the long hours of training he pushed it through but his mind never ceased to bombard him with the torn images of his past each time he dared to rest.

In the last three months the nightmares had become so intense that it was getting harder and harder to discern reality from memory. So he started to wander aimlessly through the compound in the late hours of the night, a lost shade seeking one last place to fall. His restless pacing inevitably led him here.

Sasuke silently crossed the room and lowered himself to sit on the bed, as he'd done many times before, and just stared at her. The first time he did this he felt nothing but envy and hate for the pitifully frail creature that could find rest so easily when it continued to relentlessly evade him. He vowed to walk out the door and forget she ever existed and would've done so immediately if not for fear of the lingering terrors that waited for him to surrender to his body's exhaustion. So he stayed, and he stared, and he seethed…until he realized there was nothing peaceful about her unnatural slumber at all.

With fingers known to cause death and pain, Sasuke gently touched her cheek, noting the steady flickering of her eyes behind closed lids.

She was dreaming, had been dreaming for a very long time. The monitor above her flickered frantically with brainwave activity, measuring and detailing by minutes, hours, days…years. She was trapped in a powerful genjutsu and the unrelenting demand on her brain interfered with her body's normal functions, thus the need of the respirator.

He didn't have the slightest idea what was going on in that head of hers, but knowing Kabuto, he doubted it was anything pleasant. Unlike his Sannin sensei and his compatriots, Sasuke didn't take pleasure from the pain of others. He was simply indifferent to it. Everyone and everything was inconsequential except for his revenge.

But in the presence of this weak little mouse he couldn't help but feel just the tiniest bit of peace because she was fighting monsters in her sleep too. So he came, and he stared, and he meditated until the visions in his head surrendered to the steady beeps and whirs of the machines. It became far more therapeutic than any of the sedatives Kabuto offered him.

Of course, that didn't mean he owed her anything. She was never aware of his presence and didn't have to be for him to take what he needed from her. He had no problem taking what he needed or wanted from anyone. He'd been denied and tossed aside for too long. That helpless, ineffectual child was gone, no more to suffer at the whims of others. He was his own master now and the world would bend to _his _will. Justice and mercy, so long denied him, were now his toys.

Nothing stood between him and his revenge anymore. Orochimaru's blood was still fresh on his sword and his brother's would soon join it. He'd taken what he needed from the evil Sannin and in return rid the Earth of his vile existence, as had been his intention from the start. It was past time to grant justice to the nightmares of his past and mercy to his own tortured soul.

The wounds he sustained from his battle with the Sannin were tolerable but he came to attend them anyway, killing every one of Orochimaru's henchmen that got in his way with ridiculous ease. By the time he reached the medical ward there was no one left alive in the compound…except her.

Sasuke could summon no emotion for this woman, but neither could he walk away. Invisible chains held him fast, demanding something of him he didn't understand. The girl was as good as dead. Kabuto was away, no doubt checking up on his other experiments elsewhere, and corpses couldn't provide the care she needed. All he had to do was walk away and she would eventually slip into eternal slumber, a far more peaceful rest than the one she found now.

Yet he lingered as he often did, listening to the hum of the machinery, studying her delicate features.

"What do you want from me?" His voice echoed in the darkness, deep and cold. Of course there was no reply. He didn't expect one, but felt all the more frustrated because of it. She was a burden, an obstacle, just one more thing to keep him from seeking his revenge.

He hated her.

Laying one hand on her forehead and making a hand sign with the other, Sasuke shattered the complicated genjutsu with surprising ease. Her brainwaves fluctuated wildly for a moment before sinking into a steady, even flow. What did it feel like to be trapped in a dream for two years? Did she even know she was dreaming?

Starting with the electrode attached to her right temple, he methodically removed the wires until all the monitors save one fell silent and blank. When the last wire fell from his fingers, he sat back and listened to the steady beat of her heart, waiting for the little blip to stress or flat line. Surely by now her body had forgotten how to function on its own. If this proved true, he would end her existence swiftly and painlessly. It certainly would make his life a whole lot easier, that's for sure.

The deathly silence dragged on for so long he jumped when she breathed in sharply and started choking on the respirator. He pulled the tube free but despite her sharp, strangled breaths, she didn't awaken. With the sound of her struggling gasps cutting the silence, he pulled the rest of the tubes and IV's from her body and bound the puncture wound on her forearm.

So she surprised him, and not much surprised him anymore. Her breathing calmed considerably by the time he finished ridding her of all of the attachments of her previous artificial existence but it was still strained. Painfully thin and muscles shriveled beyond use, her appearance was that of a corpse but even still she struggled to live.

_Some people just don't know how to die._

Pulling a blanket off the bed, Sasuke wrapped it securely around her frail body for warmth and lifted her into his arms. Limp as a rag doll, she folded in his embrace and he felt he could snap her in two with one hand. Perhaps it would be kinder to kill her now instead of letting her struggle. They were a good week's run from Konoha and he knew he could entrust her to no one else without his efforts being wasted, but in her current state she would never survive the trip.

Quickly sifting through his options, he carried her into the next room and laid her on one of the exam tables. If he was going to have to hole up somewhere for a while he was going to need supplies and if she happened to die while he was putting them together…so be it.

Bandages, food, medicine, a spare change of clothing and an extra blanket later, the stubborn woman was still alive. He even walked as slowly as possible and took the long way around the compound, but clearly she had no intention of relinquishing her white-knuckle grip on life. Deciding he'd dawdled long enough, Sasuke swung his pack over the two swords sheathed at his back and scooped her up.

The pleasant scent of herbs mingled with a trace of lavender washed over him and he readjusted his hold to brace her head under his chin. Seldom did Orochimaru's hideouts ever smell of anything beyond earth, chemicals, and death. How this girl managed to retain what must be her natural essence, and a quite soothing one at that, was a mystery he never considered until now. Even knocking at death's door, yet obviously refusing to enter it, she was a bright spot in the pitch of nightmares.

Moving into the hallway, he carefully made his way through the underground twists and turns, stepping over bodies and weapons until he emerged into the cool evening air. The forest fell silent, waiting with bated breath as he laid his bundle of skin and bones at the base of a tree far from the entrance. Stepping back, he studied his surroundings for an unwelcome audience. Finding none, he raised his hands in sign. The ground shuddered as the explosive tags set throughout the tunnels triggered, forever burying its secrets in fire and stone.

If only the same could be done with his past.

Turning away from the destruction, Sasuke narrowed his eyes at the girl. Even now he should just walk away and let the forest claim her, but he couldn't. He didn't know why, he just couldn't.

With an irritated sigh, he knelt to pick her up and froze when she stirred with a soft whimper. Her brow furrowed in pain as she struggled to open her eyes and he watched in silent expectation. Would she know the difference between reality and dreams? Would she recognize him? Fear him?

Pale lavender eyes fluttered open, dull and empty. They flickered across his face before slipping closed once more and he released his breath in relief. He wasn't exactly ready to deal with a panicked woman just yet.

Gathering her up once more, Sasuke scowled down at her innocent face, cursing her very existence and the bizarre compulsion to help her.

How did he ever get himself into this mess? He just wanted to kill his brother and avenge his family. Was that really too much to ask? Why did fate, or whatever powers were at work, have to throw her into his path and screw with his inner sense of honor and duty so much that he couldn't walk away from such an obvious obstacle?

The cold night air made her shiver in his arms as he leapt through the trees at rapid speed and he instinctively cradled her closer to his warmth. There was a village a few miles west nestled against the base of a mountain. It was too small to warrant an inn, but an old woman rented him a room once when he was returning injured from a mission for Orochimaru. It was a good place to hide out for a while: good food and warm shelter from the elements. The girl wouldn't survive long otherwise.

Having been fed intravenously for nearly two years, it was unlikely she would be able to tolerate solid food and it could be months before she was travel ready. Maybe he could just leave her with the old woman and let her find her own way back when she was ready. He didn't have the time to waste anymore, nor the patience.

Her eyes flickered open only once more, but she seemed entirely unaware of her surroundings. What exactly did Kabuto do to her? Maybe he should've salvaged the medic-nin's research, but he hadn't been thinking of her best interests at the time. Why should he? Wasn't it enough that he'd spared her life, taken her from the hands of evil when no one else could? Since when did she become _his _responsibility?

Growling deep in his throat, Sasuke seriously started to question his own sanity.

"Why couldn't you just die, Hyuuga?"

* * *

She felt so very warm. At least, she thought she did. She couldn't be certain if it was genuine warmth or another inducement of the dreamscape she was forever trapped in.

There were memories of laughter and smiles, blue eyes, soft fur…butterflies. They contrasted sharply with everything else and she clung to them, knowing in some distant part of her mind and heart that they were the only things she could trust, the only things that were real.

There were faces too of people she knew well, but their words were not the same, their expressions false. And there were enemies, so _many_ enemies. She was so far beyond exhaustion she could no longer feel her own body and yet it stayed in constant motion. It felt as though she never slept, but perhaps she had and just couldn't remember.

A part of her knew this wasn't real, be it instinct or just a niggling gut suspicion. At first she thought she was caught in a genjutsu, but when she tried to break it, nothing happened. So perhaps this _was_ reality and that other place she remembered where the leaves danced and people she thought she loved lived were the imaginings of a lonely, broken spirit.

The food she ate left her empty. The water she drank left her thirsty. The warmth she sought was insubstantial and fleeting because the growing chill was on the inside and she didn't know how to ward it off.

When she discovered she had no physical limitations, a strange hunger overtook her and she fought with a ferocity that would startle all who knew her. It was all she knew to do and she strained her Byakugan eyes for hours on end fighting the enemies she could and could not see.

She wanted to look into those blue eyes again, feel that soft fur, laugh with her own voice and hear it ring like crystal bells across lake water. She wanted to feel alive, but as time began to blend into ceaseless battles and the hunger for freedom was never satiated, she began to wonder if there was anything left of her to save.

Voices spoke to her from within her own mind. Sometimes the voice was kind and strong, telling her to hold on, to believe that someone would come to save her. Other times the voice was soft and persuasive, telling her she was alone and must fight alone if she ever wanted to be free. She didn't know who to believe or if she should believe either of them at all. It wasn't real. None of it was real. Perhaps even _she_ wasn't real.

Sometimes she was tempted to let one of the enemy kill her and end the confusion, fear, and pain, but that was when the kind voice became the loudest and at times she thought it was a medley of voices, both male and female, all speaking of one accord.

Every day was the same and she was always running, but from or toward what, she didn't know. It was when she finally reached the very end of her endurance that the world shattered before her eyes and darkness swept over her. She fought it, fearing what it could mean, but it beckoned so powerfully she was helpless to resist. Sinking into it, Hinata thought with great relief…_now I can rest._

* * *

Just when the village came in sight, it started to rain. Seriously pissed, Sasuke pounded on the old woman's door with a force to rattle the rafters. A wizened old face greeted him with shock and confusion and he pushed his way in before she could even fully open the door.

"I need a room."

Blinking out of her shock, the old woman nodded and shuffled down the hall to the spare room he'd used once before. It was small and bare of furniture except for the futon rolled up in the corner and a window large enough to escape through, should the need ever arise, adorning the far wall.

"Blankets, soup if you have it," he said, gently lowering his bundle to the floor.

The woman disappeared and returned shortly to drop off some blankets before disappearing again. Sasuke made a habit of never staying in the same place twice to make it harder to track him, but this was one exception he didn't mind making. The old woman lived alone and was mute. Not only could she not pester him with stupid questions but neither could she reveal details about him to others, not that she would. She'd taken care of him once before without complaint and without expectation. A quiet understanding had formed between them and he seldom allowed such things to happen.

Unrolling the futon, he set to quickly unwrapping his shivering burden. The thickness of the blanket hadn't protected her from the rain and he scowled at the thin yukata clinging to her scrawny frame.

_Nothing but trouble._

Without a care for modesty, he peeled the wet material off her body and dried her with another blanket before tucking her into the futon and piling the rest of the dry blankets on top.

The old woman returned once more with a bit of bread and some hot broth, not much but she obviously wasn't expecting visitors. He made a mental note to give her money for supplies later.

With some effort he managed to get a bit of broth between the girl's chattering teeth, but no more than a few sips. She probably couldn't have tolerated much more than that, so he finished it off with the bread himself before discarding his own sopping clothes in an untidy pile and crawling under the blankets beside her.

Sasuke nearly yelped when his skin came in contact with ice. No wonder she was shivering so badly. She was as cold as the dead!

"I've put too much work into you for you to die now," he growled at the unconscious woman, wrapping himself around her freezing body. The hot broth had taken the chill out of his own bones, but he wasn't sure it was going to be enough now that he was cuddling an ice cube.

Glaring at the wall, he listened to her sporadic whimpers and tried to reorganize and firm his plans in mind.

He wasn't a patient man. He'd waited too long for retribution and now he was finally strong enough to take it. There was nothing more Orochimaru could teach him and if the man thought he was just going to let him take his body, then he was utterly insane. Well, that much had been obvious from the start.

Now the Sannin was dead and Kabuto was…somewhere. The medic had been lucky enough to be away when he severed his ties with Orochimaru with gruesome finality but he had no real quarrel with him anyway. His whereabouts were inconsequential at this point.

How long had it been now since he left Konoha? Four years? Five years? Time just blended together in the face of his training. They had given up on finding him, he was sure. It wasn't like there was a ninja in all of Konoha that could take him down anyway, although…there was no telling how strong Naruto had become since their last encounter. His old teammate always did have a way of surpassing expectation.

The woman in his arms whimpered again and he reflexively held her closer. In just a matter of days he could've tracked his brother down and finally achieved his lifelong goal, but now he had this little _nuisance _to deal with. No, patience was definitely not his best quality.

He'd never killed a woman before. It wasn't that he had a moral issue with killing one of the fairer sex, he just never found himself needing to. No woman could stand against his strength and there was no point in crushing the pathetic. His conscience was all but numb now, true, but he wasn't Orochimaru. He was an Uchiha, one of the strongest shinobi bloodlines in the world, and he couldn't dishonor that anymore than he already had.

No one would ever look upon the Uchiha name again with reverence. There would only be fear and awe of the Clan's power, power that would be ill-wasted on a weak little woman like the one he held in his arms now.

Whether he liked it or not, he'd taken responsibility for her life. So he would see her past the point of danger and then leave. How she got back to Konoha was none of his concern. He had no intention of returning there anyway. There was no place for Uchiha Sasuke in the Village Hidden in the Leaves.

* * *

**A/N-** Due to time (which I keep in a gum ball machine and can only access when I have 50 cents to spare), I will only respond to reviews through the FF PM service which means if you have a question and want me to be able to answer it, please leave a _**signed**_ review. I've got nothing against un-logged in reviews, but any questions asked in that manner will likely be ignored (unless a bunch of people wondered the same thing and they _all_ left unsigned reviews). Just be aware I will not email anyone personally because I'm rather fond of my anonymity. It's cute and fuzzy. Besides, I think the chapter is more fun to read without my chatter gunking it up, ne?

Thanks for reading and waiting patiently for me to finally get this up and please let me know if there were any obvious mistakes (words squished together and the such).


	2. in Illusions

A/N- It's so great to see so many familiar faces…er names again. And some new ones too! By the way, would it help if I put the definition of Ikigai at the beginning of each chapter? I know a lot of you receive alerts and don't have to go back to the first page, so if it would help, let me know, kay?

**akai-sora** did an awesome line art for the first chapter called "Carrying You" so check it out and tell her how much you like it. The link is in my profile. I really love Sasuke's expression and how decimated Hinata looks.

Standard Disclaimers Apply

Enjoy!

**_Ikigai_**

**in Illusions**

**Chapter 2**

Obsidian eyes fluttered open in confusion. The midday sun spilling through the window told him he'd slept a good deal longer than he planned or was generally capable of.

Turning away from the blinding light, Sasuke found his vision full of feathered hair as dark as his own. The Hyuuga girl slept peacefully with her head pillowed on his chest, breathing steadily and finally regaining some warmth. Her skin was still too cold to the touch. Trailing his hand down her side, he counted every protruding rib. She shouldn't have even survived the night, but she was a stubborn woman, he would give her that.

Carefully sliding out from under her, he tucked the blankets firmly around her body. It'd been a long time since he'd shared bed space with anyone and never with a woman. He was too busy with training to bother with carnal desires and had been serving solo missions ever since he left Konoha. But even back then, he'd never slept so deeply for so long. Perhaps he was just weary from his own injuries and overuse of chakra.

Deciding on this assumption, Sasuke turned away to dig in his pack for some clothes. He had one spare set beside the one that was currently lying in a sopping heap…or should've been. Glancing once more towards the corner where he'd thrown their clothes, he found it empty. The old woman must have come in that morning to check on them and taken the clothes to add to her wash. He never even heard her enter.

The yukata was worthless, too thin to really give the girl the warmth and covering she needed. Once the woman finished the wash he would dress her in his own clothes. They would be huge on her, but it would help her stay warm. The last thing he wanted was to have a hysterical woman on his hands if she woke up to find herself naked, let alone sharing a bed with him.

Throwing on a black long sleeve shirt with the Uchiha fan sewn into the arm and matching pants, Sasuke counted out his funds. The amount was more than plenty to sustain them both for several months if need be, not that the girl would require much in her current state.

With one last glance at his charge, he set out to find the old woman.

The house was small, consisting of two bedrooms, a kitchen, and a receiving room. The woman was in none of them but outside hanging laundry on a line extending between two trees. Her house was set back from the rest of the village, its natural privacy having attracted him to it the first time he came through.

She looked up when he stepped out onto the porch and dropped the sheet she was holding into her basket to trot over to him, a small knowing smile on her cracked lips. When she stopped to look up at him, she gestured towards the house and raised a questioning brow.

"She's still sleeping," he said. "I need you to get some food that will be easy on the stomach. She hasn't eaten in a long time."

The old woman accepted the small pouch of money with a fervent nod. Gesturing once more towards the house, she raised a hand to her mouth to mime the act of eating.

Sasuke grunted and turned on his heel to stride back inside. This time she had made onigiri and miso and he scooped some of the miso broth into a bowl and grabbed the plate of onigiri to take back to his room.

She was a good cook and he ate the food with relish before setting to the task of feeding the Hyuuga girl.

He couldn't remember her first name. It'd been years since he'd seen her and even then, they were merely contemporaries. She was always with the Inuzuka loudmouth and the bug guy and he suspected she might've had a crush on Naruto. Beyond that, he didn't know much about her. Her cousin was in the same chunin exams as he'd been and was reputed to be very strong and yet Naruto had managed to defeat him in the finals.

Hyuuga Neji was one man he'd never tested his strength against. It would be an interesting battle to say the least considering the similarities of their bloodlimits.

Propping her up against his chest, Sasuke tucked the blanket around her again both to keep her warm and to catch any broth she might cough up. Who ever thought he'd find himself playing nursemaid to such a pathetic creature?

_Let this be considered my one good deed of a lifetime_. He scowled and carefully lifted a spoonful to blow on before guiding it to her mouth. It was easy enough to get the liquid into her mouth, but she wouldn't swallow. Dropping the spoon into the bowl, he gently massaged her throat until she slowly, painfully, swallowed the broth.

It was the beginning of a long, tedious process he would repeat three times a day for the next two weeks and all too frequently they both ended up wearing more than what she consumed. But he was too stubborn to give up and he'd already invested too much time and energy into her to just let her die now. So he considered it an exercise in patience, or at least tried to.

The old woman often helped, changing the sheets frequently and bathing the girl when her body was unable to control its functions, but he was adamant about feeding her himself. He wanted to be certain she was getting enough to pull past this stage of lingering.

In the second week, she started to swallow without encouragement and sometimes she moved in her slumber, a finger twitch here, a shudder there. She was dreaming again and he couldn't imagine it to be anything pleasant.

He dressed her in his clothes and they made her look frightfully small. Each night when he held her close to share his warmth, he traced the length of her side and her back in search of some sign of weight gain. It was too slight for him to notice, but he was certain it was there.

In the beginning of the third week, he woke up to find pale lavender eyes staring straight into his. There was something strange and unnerving about her stare, but he couldn't place it because it only lasted for a moment. Her eyes slipped closed and did not open again until hours later.

She said nothing and gave no real sign that she was aware, but throughout the week her eyes opened more frequently and she was swallowing so much broth that he decided to start her on soft food. The faster she gained weight, the stronger she would get, the sooner he could leave.

The old woman was irreplaceable in this step. She contentedly mashed up apples, rice, and just about anything she could get her hands on so he could feed the Hyuuga girl. The first few attempts ended rather messily, but eventually she started to accept the soft food and ever so slowly began to put on weight.

Sasuke spent much of his time training while she slept. He refused to allow himself to get rusty and there were even a few times that he considered just disappearing, but his feet always brought him back, sometimes sooner than he planned.

He never considered himself a healer. There were some minor healing techniques he'd copied from Kabuto with his Sharingan, but beyond that he was fairly ignorant. The girl's health became something of a challenge for him, a mission beyond his area of expertise. Watching her progress under his care filled him with a strange sense of satisfaction and pride. No one would've ever expected _him_ to be capable of caring for an invalid.

She was slowly filling out again and sometimes she would whimper or moan softly, but she never tried to speak and once more he wondered what Kabuto did to her. He'd only considered the damage done to her body, but what if her mind was shredded beyond repair? She was trapped in that genjutsu for nearly two years, her mind never resting. If she proved to be little more than a shell it was likely he would have to kill her anyway even after all the work he'd put into her. The risk of someone else getting their hands on the Byakugan was too great if she was little more than a vegetable.

But there was no real way of knowing if there was any hope for her and he was reluctant to make a premature decision. He was feeling restless, yes, but the girl was showing improvement, at least physically. She had plenty of opportunity to die and yet refused too. It was simply too soon to count her out just yet.

* * *

It was salty, so salty that it made her nose burn, but for the first time in as long as she could remember, her hunger was finally satiated. She didn't know where she was or even where the warm food that trickled down her throat came from, but she partook of it greedily until no more was offered.

There was only darkness now. No more trees, no more faces, no more enemies. At times she felt certain she wasn't alone, but she'd learned to distrust everything her senses told her. If she hadn't been so exhausted of her own existence, she would've panicked in the dark void that held her now, but it only brought welcomed relief.

Sometimes images would flicker through her mind, memories or dreams… she couldn't be certain. Perhaps she was still asleep, still trapped in that twisted world of unreality only now it had taken a bizarre turn. Things _were _different.

Warmth often surrounded her from all sides, her thirst and her hunger abated without her ever consciously touching food or drink, but she could feel it and taste it as it slid down her raw throat.

Sometimes invisible fingers trailed across her skin, rough and calloused but gentle in their touch, and she would move, but not on her own accord. It was like she was floating at times, wrapped in strength and warmth that was as foreign to her as the light of day had become.

She could _feel_ things, like a soft vibration within her own chest. As time passed, she realized it was her own heartbeat, her own breath. In the world she'd existed in before the darkness she couldn't sense such things. There was a dull aching that spread throughout her body, weakness that she never experienced within the realm of her dreams. It only ever seem to fade when her mind would shut down and she decided this must be the difference between awareness and slumber.

Time couldn't be measured in the void anymore than it could in the dreamscape, but there always seemed to be new things to notice or experience. She was forever reaching for something, but she couldn't be certain what.

Now there was a heartbeat outside of her own, strong and steady against her ear. For the first time since the chaos took over her mind, she was not alone. The senses she once believed she could never trust were sending her all sorts of strange signals and only because they were different and more intense than anything she had known before, she decided to test them.

Using the heartbeat beneath her ear as her focus, she traced an image of her own body within her mind and felt her fingers flex in response. There was something soft beneath them, like fabric, and it was very warm. She tried to move her fingers in exploration, but her body was weak and unable to comply beyond a spastic twitch.

Having to abandon this sense for the moment, she tried to focus on another. She was never good at placing scents. That had always been Kiba's area of expertise…. Frowning, Hinata ran the familiar name over in her mind until an image slowly came into focus. Bushy brown hair, red markings on a sun-kissed face…fur? _How odd._ But it felt right. The memory was clear, untainted, and old. She knew this man and the memory of him filled her with security and hope.

Cradling it close to her heart, she breathed deeply and tried to match a memory to the mixture of scents that swept through her. Beneath the cover of soap was something sharp and pungent and the hairs on the back of her neck stood on end. An image of a storm came to mind: fierce winds, rain pummeling the earth, streaks of lightening rending the sky apart. Yes, lightening, the sharp, pungent scent it left behind when it scorched the earth. Intense, unbridled power…that was what she smelled.

She had no time to summon fear of this unknown power that lay so close to her before the gentle, calloused touch she'd grown used to trailed up her back. No one had ever touched her in such a way, but it was soothing just the same.

Hinata relaxed into the warmth, listening to the strong heartbeat that was not her own, and slipped back into the relief of oblivion.

* * *

Soon. He would be leaving soon. The Hyuuga's recovery was steady enough that he could leave her in the old woman's care and return to the goal at hand. Her appetite was growing, new flesh and fat forming on her bones and she was awake more and more often. He'd fulfilled whatever responsibility demanded of him and yet…and yet…

Sasuke scowled at the ceiling. He was sleeping better these days and couldn't recall a time when he had ever felt so rested. It was just another weakness to become dependent on the warmth of another, the soft steady breaths whispering through her pale lips and the slight murmuring of dreams. And yet he'd never felt so strong nor had his thoughts so clear.

An entire month had been wasted on the woman he held in his arms. He tried to push her away at night now, stuffing a barrier of blankets in between them before falling asleep, but every morning he woke as he did now with her head on his chest and his arms wrapped securely around her. Did she reach for him or did he reach for her?

Maybe he just needed to get away for a while and clear his head, regain focus. He would leave plenty of money with the old woman, just in case he didn't come back which was the most likely end. He was tired of waiting for his revenge.

Small fingers flexed against his shirt, but Sasuke didn't pay any mind as he laid out his plans. He'd long since grown used to her fidgeting in her sleep, but when the curious digits trailed up to his neck, he stilled instantly. They lingered there briefly before inching up to hesitantly trace his jaw.

Looking down the length of his nose, he could see her eyes were open and her brows furrowed as she stared blankly across his chest. This was the first time she had actually moved beyond an involuntary flinch or shudder, but he wasn't too pleased with the direction she was taking.

He grabbed her wrist to pull her away from his face and she jumped, lavender eyes widening. With vague fascination, he watched her lips try to form words, but little more than a breath whispered through. Releasing her wrist, Sasuke pushed himself up and she grasped the front of his shirt to steady herself at the unexpected movement.

Picking up the cup of water beside him, he lifted it to her lips only to have her flinch away. Her brows furrowed again and she raised a shaking hand to touch the cup and trace along its wide opening before deciding she wanted a taste. She drank greedily when he pressed it to her lips, but he forced her to slow down, not wanting her to gag and cough water all over him as she'd done several times before.

When she had enough, he pulled it away and she leaned weakly against him. After she regained her breath, she once more tried to form words and he caught the faintest of sounds whisper from her lips.

"Is this real?"

* * *

It was becoming easier to move her fingers. The rest of her body still felt disconnected and foreign, but she concentrated on moving the digits until she had a semblance of control.

The darkness seemed to intensify her other senses. She was pretty certain the warmth that was sometimes present and sometimes absent emanated from another being. Its presence coincided with the second heartbeat and where there was a heartbeat, there was life. So when her fingers finally deigned to obey her commands, she tried to search out the dimensions of the creature she was clinging to.

In her mind's eye, the soft fabric beneath her fingers must be clothing. Inching her way up, she came in contact with something rougher in texture and warmer. Trying to make sense of it, her fingers skimmed over a slight vibration in rhythm with the heartbeat by her head. A pulse, strong and steady, which meant she was touching skin, more specifically, a neck.

Wondering just who was holding her so close, her fingers traced upward to find a jaw, far broader than her own. A strong hand halted her explorations and she jumped at the unexpected touch. A semblance of hope took root in her heart and she tried to force words through her dry throat, but found her voice silenced.

Was this just another trick of her mind conjuring something she desired above all else, company within the void that held her?

The surface she lay on moved suddenly and Hinata clutched frantically at it to keep from falling further into the abyss, but a band of strength was wrapped around her, holding her steady.

Something touched her lips and she flinched.

_What new oddity is this? _Reaching out an unsteady hand towards where she sensed this _thing_ to be, she came in contact with smooth curves. Tracing along the dimensions, something cool and damp clung to the pads of her fingers, liquid. _A cup!_ When she let her hand drop, the cup was once more pressed to her lips and she welcomed the refreshing liquid that soothed her dry throat. It was nearly empty by the time her thirst was satiated and she felt slightly out of breath. Clinging once more to the solid warmth that held her, she forced all hope and desperation into her words.

"Is this real?"

The answering silence stretched into the darkness, wilting her hope that this person of her own imagining could even respond.

"Why should you believe me?"

Her breath escaped her with relief at the deep, resonating voice that answered. It wasn't a voice she recognized, distinctly male, lacking emotion, smooth and rich, but she clung to it as she did his shirt. Nothing he said could be taken for the truth, as his words implied, but if he truly were nonexistent, would he not have tried to convince her at least one way or another? That's what she would do…if she were an illusion. Perhaps she was one after all. Could illusions think, feel, desire?

Her world tilted again and the warm body of the voice pulled away. Frantically she grasped at his shirt to keep him near. "D-don't go!"

He ignored her panic and forced her fingers to release their hold. "I'm getting breakfast," he said, pulling away.

Without him beside her, Hinata curled into herself and clutched at the softness that surrounded her like blankets. Her sole companion in the void had abandoned her and she was alone again, lost and scared. She replayed his words, his voice, his touch, again and again to imagine his presence to be with her still when it slowly sunk in exactly _what_ he had said.

_Breakfast? How…strange. Nothing like this has ever happened before._ Tentatively she reached out, trying to make sense of her surroundings. Something covered her, keeping her warm, and softness dwelled beneath her body and head. It was a bed of sorts, she was certain, and when she reached just a bit further, she found the edge and felt the hardness of a wood floor. The void had dimensions…so perhaps it was not a void after all.

"What are you doing?"

The voice startled her and she nearly missed the edge of annoyance threading it.

"Y-you came back," she whispered in surprise.

There was an answering grunt and the near silent sound of footsteps approaching her. She tried to picture him, walking across a wood floor, carrying a tray of food. She could smell the broth of miso and it made her mouth water, but no matter the strength of her hunger, the absent strength of her body was far, far worse. Never had she felt so weak before, so helpless. Not even within the twisted world of vision and pain that existed before the darkness had she ever felt so frail.

Large, strong hands grasped her shoulders and lifted her up then pulled her back to lean against solid warmth. It took her a moment to reevaluate her position with her newly heightened senses and decide she was leaning against his chest since she could feel the vibration of his heartbeat against her back.

Something nudged against her lips and she obediently opened her mouth. Nothing had ever tasted so good as that small bit of rice and she chewed it slowly, savoring the texture and taste before accepting another mouthful. The man didn't say anything as he continued to feed her, intermittently giving her a swallow of miso broth in between scoops of rice.

Finally overcoming her surprise and fear, Hinata settled upon the confusion that had become her existence.

"Why are you doing this?" she asked after she swallowed.

He stilled against her back. "Would you rather die?" he finally said before shoving a bit of rice into her mouth with a little more force than necessary. She'd annoyed him, she realized with bemusement, and he didn't give her a useful answer.

"I-I'm not dead?"

There was a soft snort near her ear. "What do you think?"

Hinata sighed. "I think y-you don't know."

There was no reply for several breaths and she felt a flood of confusion that was not her own. "Why?"

Her heart clenched as her hope faded. She should've known from the start. Perhaps the darkness gave her relief from the persistence of battle and pain, but it was still a prison without a key.

"You are not real," she whispered.

She heard him set down the bowl of rice, or at least she thought she did. The sound wasn't real just as his touch and his warmth weren't real. Sometimes when she realized such things, the dream would fade into something else, but it wasn't to be this time.

"Why do you think I'm not real?" A distinct note of curiosity laced the deep voice. Even if he was just a fabrication of her fractured mind, she found herself answering him all the same.

"Because you feel real."

* * *

He of all people knew what genjutsu could do to the mind, how easily it could tear you to pieces until you were nothing more than a mere shell of a creature, not knowing even your own name. He'd done it to others, had it done to himself, but how to salvage what was left of a victim's mind was outside of his understanding.

A master of genjutsu could convince the senses of every reality to the point that one could suffer physical pain, even death. From her words and confusion, it seemed that she had known all along that she'd been trapped in unreality. He'd felt the strength of the genjutsu when he'd broken her free from it. Even if she had known what it was, she couldn't have freed herself. Living in an illusion for nearly two years…what would that do to a person?

This was a problem. All his hopes of leaving were shot to pieces as soon as she opened her mouth to question his very existence. She even questioned her own! Leaving her with the old woman was out of the question. If she was to have any chance of recovery, he had to take her back to Konoha.

_I should have left you to die_. Sasuke scowled at his own thoughts. The longer he stayed with the girl, the more his conscience picked at him. He couldn't even _think_ about killing her now without getting a twinge in his chest like someone was poking him with a fork.

She was a serious burden, incapable of caring for herself, not even knowing if she or anything was real to start with, but the mere thought of abandoning her in such a pathetic state was no better than kicking a wounded kitten.

He would be certain to gain something from all the trouble she was causing him. He didn't know what, but he apparently had a lot of time to consider a suitable means of compensation. She owed him her life after all, whether she was aware of it or not.

"You can ponder your existence later," he growled. Laying her back down on the futon, he pulled the covers over her shoulders. Training would do him some good right about now.

She reached for him when he pulled away. Figment or not, he was still the only other existence within the void. Even the company of delusions was better than none at all.

He caught her searching hand and tucked it back under the covers. "Sleep."

Hinata allowed her body to relax into the soft bedding. He was an illusion so of course he would come back, but she wouldn't mind something more.

"When I wake," she whispered, closing her eyes. "Can there be light?"

Dark brows furrowed in confusion as Sasuke watched her sink back into slumber. _What on earth is she on about now?_

Shaking his head, he swept up his sword and strode out of the house in search of a clearing where he could train without disturbance. This was just great. Why couldn't anything ever go as planned? Was just once asking too much?

His battle with Orochimaru had been no easy task but his injuries were fully healed now and none of them had been life threatening. He could've hunted down and killed his traitorous scum of a brother by now, but no. He, the Uchiha Avenger, was playing nurse to a fruit basket…a soft, cute, curvy fruit basket. There was only one solid conclusion to be made.

All women were psycho.

Drawing his sword, he swung it viciously through the air at an imaginary opponent, wishing there was a real one he could vent his frustrations on.

First she thinks she's dead. _Swing. _Then she tells him he's not real because he _feels_ real. _Slash._ And what was that nonsense about light? The morning sun practically _**beamed**_ through that window with blinding intensity…

His sword halted in mid-swing.

He could still feel the soft touch of her fingers trailing along his jaw as if she were searching for something. When he touched the cup of water to her lips, she was startled and had done the same searching motion with her fingers before accepting it. When he came back with their breakfast, she was doing the same thing again, this time to her immediate surroundings.

Not once did her pale lavender eyes look into his…because they couldn't.

She was blind.

* * *

-Thank you for all of your reviews and also **lacedawn** for your review and to all of you chibi shadow readers for visiting, or revisiting, or whatever other clandestine activity you so relish in. ;-)


	3. in Mercy

A/N- This one should keep you for awhile. 20 pages on the dot.

Standard Disclaimers Apply (sorry, not feeling especially creative on that one.)

Enjoy!

**_Ikigai_**

**in Mercy**

**Chapter 3**

Hinata knew he was there. She could feel his eyes on her watching, thinking. His emotions, subtle they might be, were almost tangible. He was puzzling over something, which seemed an odd thing for a figment of her imagination to do.

It crossed her mind that her Byakugan might be able to penetrate the inky blackness, but her eyes were so very tired, pained even. Judging from the physical weakness that permeated her limbs, it was likely her chakra was nearly extinguished as well. Trying to activate her Byakugan in this state would only increase the pain a hundredfold.

She must've slept because she'd been mulling over their brief conversation in his absence and then there was nothing. She couldn't remember ever sleeping before the dark void claimed her, which made her wonder all the more if this was the reality. It felt too real.

"You didn't bring the light," she whispered against the pillow she cuddled.

* * *

He'd been watching her sleep for almost an hour, sometimes murmuring, sometimes peaceful. There were two options left to him now in light of his discoveries. He could return her to Konoha or kill her. He narrowed his options down to these two based on one fact.

She was a Hyuuga, and since she didn't bear the Branch Family cursed sealing, she was from the Main House. He remembered the Head of the Hyuuga clan, a stern-faced man with creepy silver eyes. He had two daughters, the eldest being of the same age as him. The longer he thought about it the more he remembered. She'd been in the same class at the Academy as well, sitting silently in the back corner, and if memory served, had even taken the chunin exam the same time as he and Naruto. He couldn't remember the result as he'd been preoccupied with his own problems then, nor could he remember her name still.

But he knew who she was. This broken woman was the heiress of the noblest shinobi clan in Konoha. How did she ever end up in Kabuto's lab?

Killing her would be the easiest solution, but he couldn't bring himself so far as to touch her with even the faintest of sinister intention. Too many nights he'd held her in his arms and she'd clung to him as if he were the only thing standing between her and oblivion. In truth, he was.

It'd been a long time since anyone looked to him for hope or protection. He'd become an angel of death, not deliverance. She wouldn't cling to him so fervently if she knew who he was and he wasn't about to tell her. It would only serve to complicate things.

So he decided the only other option left to him, since he seemed incapable of killing her, was to return her to Konoha. It would protect the secrets of the Byakugan, which held some concern for him because of its relation to his own Sharingan, and his once dead conscience would stop needling him since Konoha had the best medical care available to deal with her damaged body and mind.

But she was far from travel ready. He would give her another two weeks to put on weight before setting out. Waiting for her atrophied muscles to recover enough for her to move under her own strength would take too long, so he would have to carry her the entire way. It was a small price to pay to finally extract him from this situation. Two more weeks would also give him enough time to consider a suitable means of compensation for his services and invaluable time.

When her eyes fluttered open to stare blankly in his general direction, he braced himself for another bizarre conversation and he wasn't entirely disappointed.

"You didn't bring the light."

"It had a prior engagement," he groused and her brows furrowed in confusion before a faint smile curled her lips.

"Ah."

She was amused. How quaint. Sasuke scowled, wondering if she could at least sense his annoyance if she couldn't see it.

"Do…do you have a name?" she asked.

"Do your delusions usually have a name?"

Her thin, graceful brows dipped again. "Delusions…don't call themselves delusions."

His lips twitched. At least she was a logical fruit basket. "Call me Haru."

"Haru." It was just a whisper upon her lips, so full of hope, longing and desperation. A shiver tiptoed down his spine. Would she have said his own name that way if he had given it?

"And you?"

Her small hand curled in the blanket. "Hinata."

How ironic. A sunny place. She looked like a child of the sun, sweet and innocent, everything kind and bright. Now, because of Kabuto's experiments, she would live in darkness.

Great. He was getting sentimental.

"What do you remember, Hinata."

She was startled by his question and made no move to answer for several minutes. "Battles," she whispered finally. "So many battles."

He'd expected as much. Kabuto would have tested the Byakugan to its very limits and she would've used it within the genjutsu to defend herself. But to put such strain on her eyes, never resting in all of two years…no wonder she was blind.

"Who did you fight?" Maybe if he understood the nature of the illusion he could convince her of the reality.

"Everyone." She closed her eyes out of reflex. "Everywhere."

"Before that."

Her eyes snapped open in surprise and shifted as if trying to locate him. "Before?"

"Before the battles."

Her brows furrowed pensively. "There are faces…."

Sasuke leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes. This could take forever, but it wasn't like he had anything else to do. "Describe them."

Hinata sighed. Why was her figment so curious? Although, talking to him might help make some sense out of this nonsense.

Considering the face that most often came to her in her dreams, a wistful smile curved her lips. "Blonde hair, blue eyes…." She loved blue eyes, so full of mischief and determination. Whenever she thought of giving up, she would remember blue eyes.

An icy chill swept over her from the direction of Haru's voice and a deep, angry growl reverberated in the darkness. "Naruto."

She blinked at the name and the vehemence with which Haru spoke it. "Naruto-kun," she whispered, tears forming in her eyes for reasons unknown. "I remember Naruto-kun."

_Of course she would_. Sasuke glowered at the girl weeping silently into the pillow, mourning the loss of things she didn't understand.

"Stop crying," he snapped and she cringed at his harsh tone, but the tears didn't abate. Snorting in disgust, Sasuke left her to her frivolous display of emotion.

Why did her tears anger him so? She cried for Naruto who obviously thought she was dead. Everyone did by now. It had been two years, after all. Her golden hero wasn't going to come and save her, so why did she still hope he would?

The sky darkened with an approaching storm, an uneasy breeze tossing through the treetops when he stepped out onto the porch. The static tension building in the air skittered across his skin, promising a tumultuous night. Already he was feeling restless, pent up emotions boiling beneath the surface and he could make no sense of them. This wasn't the anger and hatred he carefully cultivated for years and kept close to his heart. Those were simple, familiar emotions. These were not.

Emotions were dangerous. They distracted you from your goals. That's why he left Konoha, left the only semblance of a family he had, left the only person he'd ever considered his friend. It was easy to forget while in the midst of training with Orochimaru. There was no place in his heart for anything beyond hate and rage and every night as his dreams came to him saturated with the blood of his clan, those feelings grew, swallowing the abyss in his heart that he'd created.

He was an Avenger. His life belonged to the dead and he would never be free of them until he was truly the last Uchiha breathing. It'd been a lifelong ambition and now the end was just down the path. Soon he would have peace and the past, the dead, would finally be put to rest.

Sasuke sunk down onto the porch and leaned against a post, reveling in the charged atmosphere of the oncoming storm. The wind played teasingly with his long bangs and he did nothing to stop it.

_Soon, I will have my revenge and then...and then…._ Dark brows drew together. He'd never really given much thought to what would happen _after_ he killed his brother. Supposing he survived, where would he go? What would he do? He'd spent his whole life living for one moment and once it came and went…. Only darkness lingered beyond the goal, a void that left him uneasy. The unknown was never pleasant to face.

Tilting his head back, he stared blankly at the dark sky. _Why does Hinata not fear the darkness? _Maybe she did and just didn't show it. The shy, timid girl he remembered from his Academy days had been weak and pathetic, much as she was now, but he'd learned over the years there was no measuring of the spirit. She was too stubborn to die, he knew that much. Maybe that was why he loathed her tears. A part of him didn't want to see her crushed to pieces. If someone as weak as her could survive the shattering of her mind and body with the strength of her spirit alone, then perhaps there really was hope in this wretched existence…even for one as forsaken as him.

* * *

"You're cold," she whispered. "Why are you so cold?"

He always waited until she was asleep before crawling into bed beside her, not wanting even a half-crazy blind woman to know he craved warmth. Either she had only been resting or the icy brush of his skin had shocked her awake. Instead of pulling away, she wrapped her scrawny arms around him and snuggled closer to share her warmth. He was on the verge of pushing her away when she spoke again into his chest.

"Is it raining?"

Sasuke closed his eyes and suppressed a shiver as her warm breath fanned across his skin. His shirt had been soaked through when the clouds broke apart and he'd abandoned it in the corner of the room before getting into bed.

"Hn."

Hinata smiled. "I can hear it. Did you get wet?"

"Hn."

She jumped when thunder cracked sharply and his arms swept around her on their own merit.

"You should be more careful, Haru-kun," she murmured. "You could get sick."

Obsidian eyes opened to stare at the ceiling. Was she…worried about him?_ She doesn't even know what she's talking about. She thinks I'm a delusion._

"I won't be able to take care of you if you do."

Sasuke's eyes widened at the whispered words and the sincere regret lacing her voice. _She definitely wouldn't say that if she knew who I really am._

"I can take care of myself," he said, irritation sharpening his tone. _Always have, always will._

"Haru-kun…likes to be alone?"

_Do I_? He never really thought about it before. He'd always been alone; suffered alone, trained alone, fought alone. It was a fact of his life, not something he ever formed an opinion about.

When he continued to remain silent, Hinata's hand slipped up to curve around his neck, her thumb brushing against his pulse to reassure herself that he was still there. She was beginning to doubt herself, doubt what she believed to be only an illusion. The darkness continued to linger, but everything felt so real, especially Haru-kun.

After he abandoned her to her tears, she struggled to piece together the faces of her memory. Some were more real, more vibrant than others. Naruto stood out in her mind most of all, a bright golden star of strength and courage. There were so many emotions tangled within the memory: joy, hope, love, pain, despair. It hurt to think about him, so she moved on to other memories, other faces. She realized some memories felt more real than others, more intense.

The Byakugan's insight was nearly impossible to deceive, so she knew when the battles began that they were only within her own mind. She didn't know how she had become trapped in the genjutsu or why she couldn't break through it, but she knew, after a time, that it wasn't real.

Now her sight failed her. She was forced to rely on her other senses and they were far easier to deceive. Everything _felt_ real, but that was the purpose of genjutsu, to thoroughly deceive the senses.

But there were no battles now, only Haru-kun.

The things he said made no sense at all. He challenged her belief that everything was unreal without saying much at all. His voice never altered from its deep, emotionless tone but she could sense when he was irritated, confused, and angry…like when she cried. Her tears never bothered anyone she encountered in the genjutsu before. Was there even the smallest possibility that this _was _the reality? Was she truly free?

She desperately wanted to believe that the man who held her so gently and radiated such intense power and warmth was real. His pulse beat out a steady rhythm beneath her thumb. It was very calming. From the time she first became aware of his heartbeat, even before she knew it actually belonged to anyone, she'd felt safe, protected. Never in all the time she'd been trapped in the genjutsu had she ever felt safe, always being on the alert for another attack or a means to free herself until she could no longer find the strength to continue anymore. If this was real, if she could only believe….

"Haru-kun," she whispered, not knowing if he was listening or not. "Arigato."

Sasuke's eyes slipped closed in resignation. _Don't thank me, you idiot._ He remained silent, hoping she would think he was asleep, and eventually her breathing evened out into slumber. Only then did he pull her closer and bury his face in her dark hair. _Stupid little idiot._

* * *

Hinata clung tightly to Haru-kun's broad shoulders as he lifted her out of the soft futon. Surely he could break her into tiny pieces with the strength he possessed in tightly corded muscles, but he was exceptionally gentle and she feared nothing but that he should ever let her go.

"Where are we going?" she asked.

"Outside."

It was one of those senseless whims he seldom indulged, but he'd given it much thought since her whispered words kept him awake most of the night. He didn't understand her gratitude. After all, he was just a delusion in her genjutsu abused mind, wasn't he?

But then, he'd underestimated her before. Her body refused to die, why should her mind be any different? Maybe there was something to salvage after all and since he had nothing better to do in the time he had allocated before returning her to Konoha, he might as well satisfy his curiosity.

The storm passed over before morning, leaving everything clean and fresh. A change would be good for her, and since he felt the ridiculous need to remain close by, it would be good for him as well. He was tired of staying inside and she being trapped in her dark world must be equally ill of the lack of stimulation.

Her arms, though thin and bony, locked tightly around his neck, her head resting against his shoulder as he carried her out of the house. The old mute woman looked up from her laundry with a smile that he chose to ignore as he set Hinata down on a blanket he'd laid out in a patch of warm sunlight.

Curious confusion infused her fine features when she took in her new surroundings. Small hands glided over the blanket and snapped back in surprise when she encountered something beyond it. Thin brows furrowed and she explored the new texture, brushing her fingers along its length and breadth before plucking a bit of it from the ground.

Cupping it in her hands, she brought it to her face and breathed deeply. Sasuke felt his heart jump when her eyes suddenly snapped open in delight. "Grass!" she exclaimed, looking up. Her blind eyes stared straight at him as if they could truly see.

"Oh, Haru-kun! It smells so real!"

Sasuke swallowed against the lump in his throat. How could she still be so guileless after all that had been done to her? Even blind she looked upon the world with the naïve excitement of an untainted child.

So excited with her discovery, she didn't seem to notice his lack of response, her hand slipping back into the grass within reach. Though weak, she was able to sit up on her own for once but he knew it wouldn't be for long. Her spindly arms were already shaking from the strain but she ignored it in her eagerness to experience to the full the glory of this new addition to her dark prison.

Gently catching her shoulders before she could fall on her face, he pulled her back to rest against his chest. Hinata turned her face up towards the warmth of the sun and smiled. She hadn't felt anything so intense for a long time. Her skin tingled with the touch of the breeze, the fresh fragrance of the grass still tickled her nose and the soft rustle of leaves sang a familiar song. Her senses were almost overwhelmed and her heart sped with a joy foreign to her. Even if it was all the intricate flavors of a masterful genjutsu, she reveled in it with delight. Her only wish was to see the face of the man who had given her this small piece of heaven.

Sasuke absently rubbed his hands up and down her arms as she reclined against him. It hadn't taken him long to notice the odd calming effect she had on him. The boiling rage in his blood quelled to a simmer when she was near. Hinata was perpetually serene even with the chaos she currently suffered. Did she even know how to be angry?

She sighed and he looked down to see her eyes closed, a small smile on her pink lips. She looked…happy.

"Hinata."

"Hmm?" she murmured with contentment.

He loathed to disturb her peace and _that_ irritated him more than anything. This girl was starting to affect his tightly bonded emotions. It was one thing to not want to kill her, but to actually _care_ about how she _felt_? He didn't care about anything beyond killing his brother…and maybe what came after. To prove that to the strange tangle of feelings vying for his attention, he forged ahead with his intent.

"Do you remember when you were captured?"

Hinata stiffened. "Captured?" she echoed. Such things had never been addressed within the genjutsu. Was this another trick, another deception? What if…what if this _was_ real? What if _Haru_ was real? What if…he was the enemy?

"It's blurry," she said, wary for the first time of the man who held her. If anything, the constant battles forced upon her within the genjutsu had honed her already notable shinobi skills. She was too weak to defend against a physical attack, but her hard-earned jonin rank was not the result of physical prowess alone. If they insisted on playing with her mind, so be it. Let them break her to pieces. They would learn nothing. Konoha's secrets would never leave her lips.

Sasuke frowned. There was nothing suspicious about her answer, but the alert tension threading her frame warned him she wasn't being entirely truthful. Of course, she had no real reason to trust him since she obviously believed he was just another illusion, but it still irked him.

"What's the last thing you remember before the genjutsu?"

Hinata's eyes snapped open in alarm. _What is he…how much does he know? If he's one of them…._

With what little strength she had, she surged out of his arms only to collapse when she tried to catch herself. Unlike within the genjutsu, her strength abandoned her in this dark world. She was helpless to run, helpless to fight and panic swept over her.

Her violent reaction startled him and if her muscles hadn't been so atrophied, he would've had a hard chase on his hands. As it was, she barely made it to the edge of the blanket. Her fear was palpable when he grabbed her shoulders and lifted her up.

"Let me go!" she demanded and he winced as sharp nails raked across his hand.

Pushing her down onto her back, he grabbed her wrists and pinned them beside her head. Her unseeing eyes glared up at him as she struggled feebly against his hold and he resisted the urge to give her a good slam against the ground knowing it would do her more harm than good.

"Stop it," he growled.

"I'm not telling you anything," she hissed, no longer the shy little lamb he'd taken her for.

"What harm is there, if I'm only an illusion," he challenged.

She stilled her futile struggle. "I'm not a fool," she said. "If the genjutsu remains, anything I say will be known to them."

"What if I told you this is real?"

"Why should I believe you?"

His own words tossed back at him made him smirk. Was this the real Hinata? He hadn't considered how much she might've progressed since he left. Even defenseless she was fierce, a true shinobi. Suddenly it seemed very important to prove his existence to her.

Releasing one thin wrist, he feathered the tips of his fingers down her flushed cheek. "This is real," he murmured. Curving his finger under her chin, he tilted her face up and gently brushed his lips against hers. "_This_ is real."

She breathed in sharply, eyes wide with shock. Nothing like this had ever happened before and she didn't know what to believe. Was this just another trick because all others had failed? He didn't give her much time to wonder before his lips pressed against hers again, feather soft and coaxing. Despite being a kunoichi and having been trained to use her feminine charms to her advantage, she was ill prepared for this kind of attack. It felt terrifyingly real. If he decided to go further, she didn't have the strength to stop him.

He wanted to tempt her senses but found himself tempted instead. Her lips were so soft and pliant. Hinata wasn't the kind of woman to give her kisses, nor her body, freely. It was likely she was still untouched and the mere thought of her innocence stirred feelings better left alone. It could be his if he wanted it. She couldn't stop him, no one could. No one would even care...except her.

The soft pressure of her hand against his chest was her only resistance and another man wouldn't have paid any mind to the feeble attempt to push him away. People called him heartless, ruthless, but he never considered himself brutal. When he killed, he preferred to do it as quickly and efficiently as possible. That wasn't to say a battle couldn't become vicious and messy and nothing compared to the adrenaline surge of being pushed to his very limits, but it was never unnecessary.

Hurting Hinata was unnecessary and would only serve to sever every little bit of trust he'd managed to secure. He was already walking a dangerously thin line in that respect.

Slowly, reluctantly, he pulled back to see her eyes pinched shut, a disturbed crease in her brow, and a glistening tear slipping down her cheek. Sasuke stared at the small jewel in wonder before brushing it away with a slow stroke of his thumb. Did she expect him to take it further?

Leaning his forehead against hers, he willed her to open her eyes even if she couldn't see him anyway, but they remained closed. "You've been in a genjutsu for one year, eleven months and twenty-three days. I broke you free myself. Hinata, tell me who captured you."

She panted softly and he felt a measure of pride that he left her breathless with such a gentle kiss. Would she ever let him do more?

"Kabuto," she whispered suddenly and he blinked in surprise that she'd answered.

"How?"

Hinata swallowed softly, wishing he would back away. His lean, muscular body pressed along every inch of hers, saturating her with his warmth. His kiss had shattered the remnants of doubts and her entire world had once more been torn asunder. She was alone with a man she didn't know and couldn't see who knew more than he should.

He had attended her needs faithfully without complaint and with a gentleness not all men possessed. Each night she'd slept in his arms, breathing the sharp, electric scent of lightening and feeling sheltered and protected. And his kiss…his kiss had been the first to touch her wounded heart after she lost Naruto to the woman he had always loved. No one had ever made it skip a beat again until now.

A shinobi should never be quick to trust anyone, but how much of a shinobi was she now? Her body was useless, her chakra non-responsive, her eyes--."

Pale lavender snapped open and shifted back and forth, unfocused. "Why is everything dark? Why can't I see?"

"You're blind, Hinata."

"B-blind?"

"You were always fighting within the genjutsu. The strain of using Byakugan constantly for nearly two years destroyed your eyes."

She remained silent for several minutes.

"You're a shinobi," she whispered. She didn't know why she'd never considered it before. "You know who I am."

"Yes."

"What is your allegiance?"

A dark brow shot up over a darker eye. Wasn't he supposed to be the one asking questions?

"To myself," he finally said. It was as close to the truth as anything. "How were you captured, Hinata."

Her lips drew into a thin obstinate line. _Do you seek the secrets of the Byakugan too? _"Why did you help me? What do you want?"

_I wish I knew._ She was hardening against him, drawing on her years of shinobi skill to wall off all desire to trust him and any act of intimidation on his part would only seal the door.

Deciding a change of tactics was in order, Sasuke sat up and before she could even take a breath, swept her back up into his arms. Hinata clutched at his shirt for stability, liking her new position even less than the previous. Draped across his lap and wrapped up tightly in his arms, she was forced to rest her head against his shoulder in a mockery of comfort.

"Hinata," his voice resonated with a low growl and she knew his patience was wearing thin. "Tell me how you were captured."

"On a mission," she whispered. Surely she could satisfy his curiosity without giving anything important away. Maybe she might even learn something to her own advantage. "They were in need of a medic, only when we got there the mission proved to be an ambush."

"You're a medic?"

Hinata tilted her face up towards the sound of his voice, wishing desperately to see his face. Without the Byakugan to read his expression, she had to rely solely on the faint changes in his voice to know what he was feeling and she wasn't quite so adept at that. She couldn't be certain if he was surprised, confused, or pretending to be both.

"You didn't know?" she asked. He obviously knew she was a Hyuuga and knew Kabuto had been after the secrets of the Byakugan. Was it possible he didn't know her personally then?

"No," he grunted. "Who ambushed you?"

"Sound-nin," she murmured, fingers curling in his shirt. Haru-kun said his allegiance was to himself so perhaps he was not from the Hidden Sound Village. But then, how did he find her as she was certain she would've been kept in a secure location?

"Who was with you?"

"I fought Kabuto myself," she said, pointedly ignoring his question.

Sasuke clenched his jaw, but decided not to press her when she was being at least somewhat cooperative.

"I think he attacked me with the genjutsu then because everything suddenly _felt_ different."

"Different how?"

Hinata leaned against him silently for a few moments, reflecting back to that day that seemed to be ages old, barely aware of the warm hand stroking idly up and down her back. "I'm not sure. When he fled the fight I was alone, my comrades," she swallowed, "dead. I tried to go home, but…."

"You couldn't."

"Everything kept getting turned around; people I didn't know were always attacking me—."

Sasuke slipped a hand into her hair and pressed her head against his shoulder.

"That's enough," he murmured. Obviously, Kabuto had singled her out. Everything was too convenient: the mission that turned out to be an ambush, a genjutsu a Hyuuga couldn't see through nor break. Kabuto must've worked long and hard to develop the technique just to capture and keep her for his studies. He was obsessed with eye-jutsus and the Byakugan was a close cousin to the Sharingan. There could've been any number of reasons for him to study it and no doubt Orochimaru was eminently interested in the experiment as well since he had every intention of having the Sharingan as his own.

All of the medic's research had been destroyed when he buried the compound with explosive tags, but that wasn't to say Kabuto didn't retain some of it elsewhere. The man was still unaccounted for. An uncomfortable knot formed in Sasuke's stomach. Kabuto was no real threat to him, but if he remained interested in Hinata….

"H-Haru-kun?"

He jolted, taking a split second to realize she was speaking to him. "Hn."

"What happens n-now?"

"Go to sleep, Hinata."

She didn't argue with him, likely too exhausted to try, and after a few minutes he shifted to lay her worn out body down on the blanket. Draping his arm over a raised knee, Sasuke stared at her pale, drawn features. Despite her prevailing weakness, she was a feisty little thing. None of the answers she gave betrayed any knowledge of her village and instead of surrendering to her fear, she struggled against it.

Hinata had always been a shy creature from what he remembered. Naruto only had to look at her and she would blush clear to the tips of her toes. Her voice was still soft and genteel, but she didn't stutter until she became supremely nervous. He couldn't be certain if she honestly realized this was the reality, but she spoke sanely enough. The less than frantic reaction to her blindness was surprising, though. Perhaps she was used to the darkness now and knowing the source of it seemed almost inconsequential to her.

So she was a medic. That shouldn't have surprised him given her sweet nature and inherent chakra control. It was just hard to imagine her in any active capacity since he'd only ever seen her frail and helpless. He didn't yet know her skill rank, but she hadn't seemed particularly perturbed to be fighting Kabuto. Even if she herself wasn't exceptionally skilled, her breeding was nothing to sneer at. As a woman she was a valuable commodity given her ability to pass on the Byakugan. As a medic, she was a valuable resource of Konoha. As a person, she was sensible, patient, and very stubborn. Of course, she had nothing on people like himself and Naruto, not even Sakura who he believed to be the single most obstinate woman he'd ever known. No, Hinata's stubbornness was quiet and deep, a will of steel more so than one of fire.

"_What happens now?"_

He'd been wondering that for some time. His short-term plan was to drop her off near Konoha and then hunt down and kill his brother. It was what should happen next that troubled him. So long had he been training and dreaming of the day when he would avenge his clan that he never bothered to consider where he should go or what he should do when all was said and done. He had severed all ties to pursue this goal and once it was fulfilled, he would be the only remaining Uchiha. Was his clan to die with him?

Hinata sighed softly in her sleep and his eyes roved over her finely boned features to linger on her lips. He could still taste her, feel her inexperience. She was mostly skin and bone right now, but after a few months of good food and some exercise, it was obvious she would attain a fine figure, albeit small. She really was such a tiny thing and yet could prove to be quite deadly if she was even half as skilled with her family's technique as her cousin.

After two years, did any of them still believe her to be alive? When did they give up looking for her? Was she mourned? He always had the impression that Hinata wasn't particularly close to her family. She was too different, too warm compared to the strict, icy demeanor of most Hyuugas. What a disappointment she must have been to her father, such a weak heir to such a powerful clan. No matter how hard she worked, she would never be able to compare to Neji's skill, just as he could never compare to Itachi's in his father's eyes. Did she ever prove them wrong?

Sasuke brushed his fingers across her lips, feeling the soft pink flesh beneath his calloused touch. _I could keep her and no one would know or care._

He jerked back at the alien thought, wide eyes staring down at the oblivious woman.

S_he's a burden, an obstacle between me and my revenge! She's an invalid and probably still delusional, useless and helpless…_

His gaze trailed down her body, seemingly more frail dressed in his own larger clothing. Proper care would take care of that. She was already filling out under his tending. Once she did….

His hand settled on the softness of her flat stomach, large enough to span more than half the width of her waist. _This_ was the heiress of the Hyuuga clan, oldest daughter of the Main House. Her bloodline was pure and strong even if she wasn't. The children she bore would be powerful.

Sasuke looked up at her serene face set in slumber. _The children she bears will be Uchihas._

* * *

Ack! I know! I know! Don't worry! There'll be more explanations in the next chapter!

Also thanks to _**TeeHee, Zetnnik, Ingrid, Nikki, lilz, **_and_** Cat, **_for your lovely reviews and all you chibi shy shadow readers who enjoy reading my stories so much you stay up so late you lose the ability to form coherent words. ;-)


	4. in Deception

**A/N- **Here we go for all you people off work and school and already bored with playing with your new toys. ;-) Not quite as long as the last chapter, but still a nice 17 pages.

**akai-sora** has done a line art for chapter 3 (again, I love how accurate Sasuke's expression is) and **vegetapr69** colored akai-sora's line art "Carrying You" and gave it an awesome background so check out the links in my profile and tell them what you think!

**Disclaimer: **I have two Kenshins, a Kuriboh, and a plushie Gaara but no Naruto. Guess a girl can't have it all.

Enjoy!

_**Ikigai**_

**in Deception**

**Chapter 4**

The soapy washcloth brushed up and down her back and Hinata sighed. She didn't know how many days had passed since she first became truly aware of her surroundings, but she was happy to finally have a bath while conscious enough to enjoy it.

Haru-kun had introduced her to the old woman whose hospitality they were partaking of and brusquely informed her that their hostess would be assisting her with her bath. The woman was mute, but managed to communicate well enough through gentle nudges and touches that she found reassuring in her dark prison.

There was little reason to doubt Haru now. She no longer believed she was caught in a genjutsu though a part of her wished she was. To never see again….

Feeling tears trickle down her face, she quickly brushed them away, not wanting to feel any weaker than she already did. So often she'd been mocked and callously treated because her Byakugan was not as developed as Neji's or her sister's. Now she didn't possess it at all. How was she to live like this? Even if she had the strength to walk on her own, which she didn't, she would never again be able to serve as a ninja or medic without her sight.

All of her training, her hard work, the blood and sweat she shed to gain her clan's respect had been stripped away. She was useless now. Haru should've left her to die. So why didn't he?

It should've alarmed her more how little she knew of her savior. There was an arrogance about him that reminded her of her cousin, an absolute confidence in one's skills and place in the world. When he told her to do something, he expected her to do so immediately and without complaint. Everything he said was spoken like a command, even when phrased as a question, but he was surprisingly patient when she asked for clarification.

Yet he was never physically harsh with her. Even during their little conflict yesterday, he'd been rough but innately cautious not to hurt her. She suffered the acute impression that her wariness of trusting him irritated him. It was a hitch in his voice that he couldn't quite disguise. Either she was putting a crimp in his plans or he honestly longed for her trust.

While he expected answers from her, he was not altogether forthcoming himself and that worried her. It was like he didn't want her to know anything about him beyond how he treated her. That didn't give her much to work with in the matter of trust. She believed him when he said his allegiance was to himself, but that was equally as worrisome as if he were an enemy nin. A man loyal only to himself knew nothing about the care of others. All of his reasons were selfish ones and that included all the time and effort he put into saving and caring for her.

If Haru meant ill towards her, she'd decided it must be for the sake of the Byakugan. Her eyes were worth millions to anyone willing to pay for them and there were many who were willing, even if she was damaged goods now. She would have to be on her guard against him and try to discern if this was really his purpose.

Her nap in the sun had left her feeling languid and relaxed and she'd lain for quite a while just enjoying the feel of the warmth on her skin and the breeze on her face. Haru had left her with much to think about now that she was facing an uncertain reality instead of a genjutsu. Having become sensitive to his presence, she'd felt him some distance away and if she listened hard enough, she could hear the sound of a weapon slicing through the air. A man like him must get pretty antsy sitting around all day caring for an invalid like her. At least he was dedicated to his training. But to have freed her from Kabuto's lab he would have to be elite jonin rank if not higher.

That only left her to wonder how he managed to make off with her. She had every intention of asking him when he returned to take her back inside, but something made her change her mind. It was in the deliberate way he picked her up and carried her, a change in his step, an alertness in his aura not present before. He had the mark of a man who'd made a serious, life-altering decision and held every intention of following it through. It was frightening because she knew, on some instinctive level, that it involved her too.

A gentle tug on her hair told her to tilt her hair back so the old woman could wash it. The clothes she'd been wearing, which she now realized must belong to Haru because they smelled like him and were far too large to be her own, had been taken away to be washed while she soaked. She didn't know what she was to wear once she was done bathing and while she hadn't been overly conscious of Haru's presence before, she was now.

Hinata wet her lips at the memory of his kiss. It was meant to prove a point, but she wondered if he desired to kiss her again. While there was a distinct change in his presence, he didn't touch her any differently. He was still gentle, still considerate in his own gruff way. If only she had her sight she might be able to see what he was really thinking!

Two leathery hands squeezed her shoulders to tell her it was time to get out. Her legs were still limp and useless, but the old woman seemed stout enough, or Hinata was scrawny and light enough, that she was easily lifted out of the small basin onto the floor. The old woman quickly dried her off and then wrapped a blanket around her for lack of any dry clothing.

"May I go outside to dry my hair in the sun?" Hinata asked quietly. Her hand was lifted and placed against a wrinkled cheek as it moved up and down. Before Hinata could ask how the woman intended to move her, she heard her scurry away and was left alone on the floor.

The woman could lever her out of the tub, but to make the distance to the porch was another matter. She should've expected as much and waited patiently for the near silent steps of her companion. If not for her other senses straining to compensate for her loss of sight, she never would've been able to hear him move. The man was silent as the grave.

Hearing the faint whisper of movement, she pulled the blanket tighter around her, feeling considerably more vulnerable than she should. Had she not been sleeping unmolested beside this man for many days? For once it didn't matter what she could or could not see. Feeling the weight of his eyes upon her made her cheeks warm.

"H-Haru-kun? Is that you?" It was impossible to mistake him for another, but she needed to break the silence, to draw his attention away from whatever made him stare at her so intensely.

"Hn," he grunted before he took the last few steps and swept her up.

Hinata squeaked and latched onto his neck with a death grip. In her panic she barely noticed him shaking until a soft chuckle broke free. Her face flamed with embarrassment and she pulled her arms back to quickly secure the blanket around her, absurdly aware that she was essentially naked in a man's arms.

Sasuke was seriously tempted to tell her that she didn't have anything he hadn't already seen just to see how far her blush would go, but decided it wouldn't score him too many points in the trust department.

"I didn't see anything," he said and felt oddly disappointed because it was true. She'd already been plastered against him by the time her blanket slipped. Hinata wasn't the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen, especially in her current condition, but he had to admit to feeling _some_ attraction towards her. She had all of the necessary curves and he was a man after all, albeit in complete control of his body. That he should even care if he caught a glimpse of her flesh now that she was awake and aware confounded him, but he decided it might be a good thing in the end. It would be a distasteful chore to restore his clan if the woman he chose to use didn't attract him in some way.

That wouldn't be too much of a problem with Hinata. She was cute, especially with a blush dusting her pale cheeks. Her eyes were exotic and her hair soft and dark, and when she glared at him as she had done the day before….

Sasuke swallowed, shifting her in his arms to head out the door. This really wasn't the time to be entertaining those kinds of thoughts. The Hyuuga were known for being exceptionally perceptive and insightful and even though Hinata lacked the use of her Byakugan, he wouldn't put it past her being able to read him without it. In the time he'd spent observing her, it become obvious that her other senses were already working to compensate for the one she lost. She was acutely sensitive to his chakra signature, always seeming to know where he was. If she sensed him regarding her differently it would only put her on guard, so he swiftly pushed all thoughts from his mind except for the basic facts.

Stepping out onto the porch, he gently set her down and arranged the blanket more securely around her to prevent a chill. It wasn't exactly cold, but he wasn't going to take any chances. He had an invested interest in her health now.

Pulling out a comb the old woman had loaned him, he set to ridding her freshly washed hair of tangles and knots with surprising efficiency for one who seldom brushed his own hair. He never saw the point since it refused to be tamed either way.

Hinata didn't say a word of protest and he took special care not to tug too hard. Her hair had been cut short, almost boyishly, when they were young. It was now half way down her back. Had she grown it out herself or was it a result of her capture? He doubted Kabuto would've taken it upon himself to trim her hair.

There were still a few kinks in his plan that needed to be smoothed out, but for the most part he was satisfied with what he'd come up with. Not even Hinata herself presented much of an obstacle. She would willingly sign the marriage contract…just not knowingly. It would be official and legal with witnesses and all because he wanted no holes in this, no means for her to escape when she realized what had happened. Nothing short of death would be able to separate them once they were blood-bound, not even her clan.

But he did need her to trust him enough to sign the document before the witnesses of her own free will.

"Hinata."

"Hai, Haru-kun?"

"I'm taking you back to Konoha."

Her head snapped up and she turned to look over her shoulder at him, never mind that she couldn't see. "Home?"

"Ah," he murmured, hating the tiny little twist in his stomach at the excitement and longing in her voice when she spoke that word.

Her eyes glimmered with restrained tears and she dived into him, hugging him tightly. "Oh, Haru-kun! Thank you!" she mumbled into his shirt.

Sasuke stiffened, mildly uncomfortable with her gratitude and affection. She wouldn't be quite so eager to thank him if she knew what he was about to do. Finally she pulled away enough to look up at him and for a moment he honestly believed she could see him.

"When, Haru-kun? When will you take me?"

_Woman, be careful what you say! _Sasuke fought the urge to swallow at the not so innocent images that swept through his mind at her very innocent question.

"Next week, when you are stronger."

"Is it far?"

"Several days run."

Hinata tilted her head slightly, trying to hear what he wasn't saying. There was the faintest tinge of annoyance in his voice, but that was almost always there as if her mere presence was a source of agitation for him. But she also believed he wasn't the sort of man to put up with an inconvenience like her without reason.

"Haru-kun, why are you helping me?" she asked tentatively. She'd asked him the day before but he'd ignored her questions in favor of getting answers for his own.

Days before, Sasuke wouldn't have had an answer even for himself. Now he had something more solid to fall upon, but he certainly couldn't tell her that.

"I want a favor from you."

Her expression blanked out and she sat up a little straighter. Of course he wouldn't have helped her out of the goodness of his heart. Precious few people would. At least he was being honest with her and she appreciated that.

"I owe you my life," she conceded softly, "but I will not betray my village for you."

A small smile curved his lips at her quiet resolve. "I know."

Hinata tilted her head again, listening to the even cadence of his voice. Nodding once, she turned her face back up towards him. "Then what is this favor?"

Sasuke smirked. "One favor of my choice when I choose it. It may be in a few weeks or even a few months, maybe even next year. Because of this, I want you to sign a contract ensuring me this favor."

She blinked. "You do not trust my word?"

"I don't want others to be able to interfere. I will not ask you to betray your village in any way, but some might not approve of what I ask. You owe me this, Hinata. I have sacrificed precious time to help you."

She shivered at the underlining threat in his voice. What could she possible give him that he valued so much to bind her by blood oath? He assured her that it wouldn't involve betraying her village and the contract would be void if he did end up asking her something along these lines, but to owe a man she didn't know, couldn't even see, so much….

She would've died in Kabuto's lab. She was certain of it, had been ready to the very day that her sight abandoned her, the day Haru had broken her from the genjutsu. Indeed, she owed him her life.

"I will sign," she said.

* * *

She shivered and tried to press closer to Haru's warmth. True to his word, not three days ago they'd left the hospitality of the mute woman's home and been traveling ever since. She was feeling increasingly insecure the further and further they moved from the familiarity of that little house and Hinata was forced to confront the abject fear of being well and truly helpless. Each time Haru-kun left her side, even if for a moment, panic seized her in a suffocating vice and she'd cling to him when he returned. Strangely enough, her gruff and often disgruntled savior didn't seem to mind in the least.

Every sound made her jump and only in the shelter of his arms did she feel safe from the world she couldn't see. It only served to remind her that her career as a shinobi was over. What would become of her once she returned to Konoha? Would her family welcome her back with open arms or see her as even more of a failure now that her bloodline limit was rendered useless?

Shortly before their departure from town, she signed the blood oath guaranteeing Haru his favor. Though nothing about his manner changed, she could sense he was eminently pleased and on some level she was happy that she was able to please him in such a way. Even still she knew nothing of the man, and yet he'd done so much for her. Despite her hopeless situation, she felt safe beyond words with him. He had no cause to save her from Kabuto and then tend her back to health. Really he had nothing to gain at all but for this one unknown favor. Whatever he asked of her, she would give it with pride.

"Not much further," he said, shifting her weight on his back. It'd been raining for an hour and both of them were soaked to the bone. Hinata's shivering was becoming more violent by the minute and the last thing he wanted was to keep her out in this mess anymore than he already had.

They were less than ten miles from Konoha now and he could feel three chakra signatures moving rapidly in their direction. Coincidence or not, he couldn't risk a confrontation. A battle now would only delay his pursuit of his brother and his subsequent return for Hinata.

Dropping to the soggy ground, he kneeled to ease Hinata off his back.

"A-are w-we h-h-here," she chattered, slumping gracelessly to the ground.

"A patrol is coming this way and will find you soon," Sasuke said, propping her up against the tree. She was getting better at sitting up under her own strength, but the muscles in her legs were still too atrophied to function. "I have to leave you here, Hinata."

Her eyes widened in terror and she grabbed his shirt with startling strength. "W-w-wait!"

He cupped her cheek and brushed his thumb over her trembling lips. Even soaking wet with twigs in her hair, she was enticing. _My little wood nymph._ "I'll be back to claim my favor. Wait for me."

Hinata found herself grasping at nothing, the fading warmth of his touch on her lips all that hinted at him ever having been there. The cold, merciless rain continued to pour down upon her, blending her tears of fear and abandonment. She tried to call out for him, but her voice failed her and she knew then he truly was gone.

Pressing against the tree, she frantically tried to isolate one sound from another, to form some picture of her location. The driving rain resounded loudly in her ears like a drum beating the earth over and over again. Above the percussion was the softer slapping of raindrops on the leaves, a persistent pitter-patter much like little feet running about. It would've been comforting if not for the fact that it shielded all other sounds.

She jerked her face towards the tiniest snap of a twig, unseeing eyes seeking the source and hoping, praying it was Haru coming back for her. But she knew better. Angling her face away, she concentrated on listening for more movement, knowing that whoever found her would think her to be peering in the wrong direction. After a few tense moments, there was a near inaudible thump and the earth vibrated with the impact.

Immediately snapping her face towards the source, she forced the most threatening glare she could muster and raised her hands defensively despite not having any real means to protect herself. "Wh-who's th-th-there," she demanded. There was a sharp intake of breath then rapid footsteps coming closer.

"S-stay a-away," she cried, trying to push herself back. Strong hands seized her shoulders and she struck out in panic. Her wrists were swiftly caught and a firm arm swept around her waist to hold her still.

"Hinata-sama!"

She froze and fresh tears spilled from her wide, sightless eyes. "Neji-nii-san, is-is it y-you?"

"Kami, Hinata-sama, where have you been!"

Hinata collapsed against him, clutching frantically at his shirt. Home. She was home!

* * *

Hyuuga Neji paced anxiously in the hallway. When he and his fellow Anbu set out that evening, the last thing he'd expected to encounter was a woman they all believed to be dead. It was a trick, he was certain of it, but his Byakugan did not lie.

Two years ago, Hinata had departed on a standard medical rescue mission and never returned. When a team was dispatched to find out what was causing the delay, they found only the remnants of a fierce battle and several bodies charred beyond recognition. The metal plating of their hitai-ates had been melted into their skulls except for one that had been melted into the bearer's collarbone. Hinata always wore her hitai-ate around her neck.

He'd been physically sick for days after he saw the body.

Hinata was a capable kunoichi in her own right and he'd taken it upon himself to train her to the fullest of her inherent abilities. He knew what she could do and yet he still felt that the fault lay in his training. He'd failed her somehow and the guilt ate at him for months until Naruto took it upon himself to literally beat some sense into him.

"_You're going to get yourself killed if you don't snap out of it! Do you think that's what she would want?"_

These two years later, he still grieved for her. She'd become more precious than words to him, the only one to ever understand the conflict of his existence. When he saw her sitting there in the soaking rain like a wraith of memory, he knew he'd finally lost his mind. Even now, after having carried her back to the hospital, he still feared this was all a bittersweet dream. She'd felt so real in his arms, so small and fragile, and she'd clung to him so tightly. He didn't know what to believe anymore.

The door slid open and he turned swiftly on his heel to see Tsunade and Sakura step out of the room. Sakura gently slid the door closed, looked up at him and smiled.

"She's sleeping," the pink-haired medic told him and he breathed out some of his tension.

"It really is her?"

"It's her," Tsunade said. "For now we will let her rest and I suggest you go home and do the same."

"The mission—."

Tsunade waved her hand dismissively. "You've already been replaced. I know you want to be here for this and I think she would want that too. Come by tomorrow and we'll figure this out."

"Hai, Tsunade-sama," he bowed gratefully as the Hokage turned away down the hall.

"You can stay for a little while if you want," Sakura said once they were alone.

"Is she going to be all right?"

"She's very weak, malnourished, and her muscles are severely atrophied. Other than that there are no serious injuries that we can see."

"_Hinata-sama. Why won't you look at me?"_

"_I-I can't."_

"What of her eyes, Sakura?"

She hesitated and glanced away.

"Is it permanent?"

"We don't know," she sighed. "Tsunade-sama didn't want to overtax her tonight so we will do more tests tomorrow. I can't promise you anything, Neji. At least, she's alive and she's here."

He looked past her at the darkened room. "I'll just stay for a few minutes."

Green eyes softened. "Sure."

For a moment all he could do was stand just inside the door, staring at the small form under the blankets. She'd been so frail when he picked her up, like a newborn kitten. All of his questions fell silent when he'd felt her shivering in his arms. His only thought then was to get her warm and dry.

Striding silently across the room, Neji lowered himself to sit on the edge of the bed. Her face hadn't changed much, still delicate and pale though thin from lack of nutrition. Where could she have been all this time? What happened that day two years ago? How did she find her way back? Clearly she didn't do it alone. Sakura had confirmed that Hinata was incapable of walking and being blind she never would've been able to navigate the forest on her own. Someone had left her directly in his path to be found. The chakra signature he'd felt hadn't been hers.

So many unknowns, but for the first time in two years he felt at peace because she was here, she was alive, she was safe, and he was going to make certain it stayed that way. He would not fail her again.

She whimpered softly and pale lavender eyes blinked open in confusion. "H-Haru-kun?"

Neji's brows dipped at the unfamiliar name. "Hinata-sama."

She turned towards his voice and a small smile curled her lips. "Neji-nii-san. I wasn't dreaming?"

Silver eyes softened and he enfolded her hand in his. "No. You're in Konoha hospital."

Her eyelids fluttered and she turned her face into the soft pillow. "Will you stay?"

"If you want me to." _Please._

Hinata's fingers curled around his. "Stay."

* * *

The rain forced him to seek a few moments of warmth inside a bottle of sake. He seldom drank, preferring to keep his senses sharp and alert, but there was something to be said for a few drinks to ease the chills.

By now Hinata would be warm and dry, perhaps tucked under several layers of blankets at the hospital with friends and family gathered about her. If he retained even the slightest doubt that her presence might've been overlooked in the forest, he would've remained to make sure it wasn't. Those chakra signatures had been moving fast on a direct collision course and he couldn't spare another second.

She would be well cared for in his absence and that eased whatever concern he might harbor for the frail little kunoichi. Already he had a lead on his brother's current activities and the last thing he needed was a distraction. After he killed his brother and avenged his clan, then he wouldn't mind so much.

His blood was already simmering with anticipation of the hunt and after he finished his bottle, he would seek a few hours rest. What would his dreams entertain him with tonight? More blood and death? Or would his mind take pity on him for once and linger on the memory of her small body curled around his own?

This wouldn't be the first time he'd sought out his brother, but it would be the last. Before, his thirst for vengeance had been pure. There was nothing beyond it: only that one goal, that one purpose to put all of his soul into. But for the first time, he could see beyond the goal, beyond death. He'd left Konoha to free himself of distracting attachments and now found himself with a reason to return, a reason to survive.

_To restore my clan._

He now possessed the means to do exactly that and this time, he would do it right. By now she may already know who it was who saved her and cared for her. Would she still reach for him as she had done when he left? It didn't really matter. Tucked securely inside his shirt was a blood-binding contract that not even the Hokage could contest. Hinata was his now and he would hold her again before long.

She would probably be angry once she found out, perhaps even scared. But given time and (dare he say it) patience, he would win her over. He was Uchiha Sasuke after all and more than half the female population of Konoha would give their right arm to be with him even despite his missing-nin status.

Of course, Hinata wasn't like other women. Her childhood crush on the dobe had been proof enough of that.

Sasuke scowled. Did she still hold feelings for Naruto? If not him, someone else? That wasn't something he'd considered. If her heart was already given, that could put a little kink in his plans. It didn't matter if someone _else_ held a torch for her. She was his. No one could question that and he would happily pummel anyone who did.

But then, she hadn't really protested when he kissed her or held her close at night. In fact, she'd developed quite an attachment to her Haru-kun.

Smirking at the memory, Sasuke downed his drink and filled his cup with the last of the bottle. Hinata was such a timid girl and still innocent in the ways of men and women. He may have deceived her into marriage, though in his defense she did agree to the "favor", but it would be a different matter to coax her into his bed. He wanted her trust and loyalty, not her fear, but surely when he returned to Konoha he was more likely to receive the latter.

Well, he never was one to turn down a worthy challenge and this one would certainly prove interesting. For once he had something more than the death of his brother to look forward to.

Sasuke raised his cup and smirked. "To my wife."

* * *

**A/N-** Hee hee, I'm so evil. Well, now you'll all finally find out what's been going on in Konoha with the next chapter. And don't worry, the whole contract thing will be explained eventually.

**hyuuga fan- **I don't typically respond to un-logged in reviews anymore because I don't want to clutter my chapters with chatter, but I had to respond to your little rant. It's only fair since I've heard your views on it that you hear mine, ne? ;-)

I personally don't think making Hinata a medic is anymore cliché then Naruto being Hokage or Neji being Anbu. Rather, I see it as a logical possibility. On numerous occasions, Kishimoto indicated Hinata has a fondness and aptitude for making medicine and she has a very kind, nurturing personality, not to mention her Byakugan enables her to see things other medics can't. In fact, I have a great deal of trouble imagining her _not_ being a medic. It really surprised me when Ino requested medical training at the end of the fillers because she, unlike Hinata, gave no previous indications at all of being inclined towards that field.

I do agree that most FF writers make Hinata a medic simply to give her a position of skill or whatnot and never actually have her do anything with it in the story itself, but I never do anything without a reason and her former status is important to the plot. In fact, I'd have had serious trouble writing a lot of it otherwise. I also agree that rarely has anyone ever written with a focus on Hinata's tracking abilities instead and your mentioning it does have my muse pondering for future fics. However, I honestly can't picture her in espionage because she strikes me as being too honest and transparent for subterfuge. To make her otherwise would be to make her OOC, something I avoid like the plague.

Thanks for your rant in any case because it just might spawn another story!

Also, in regards to this: _"And you mentioned that you would keep Itachi as evil in the story. I was wondering how you would do this yet keep the storyline going. It seems that once Sasuke offs Itachi, everything will all end happily. But then how will you navigate the other Akatsuki, the war against Konoha, and Tobi/Madara?"_

I believe I mentioned in my A/N for chapter one that I _diverge_ from the Naruto storyline after Sasuke's first encounter with Team Kakashi. **Ikigai **starts three years after that, pushing back the time of Sasuke's battle with Orochimaru further than in the manga. When I started writing this story, there was no information about Akatsuki and Tobi/Madara yet, so they are not an existing factor in the story. (That's what happens when you write for an on-going series.) However, you are making a mistake in assuming that Itachi is Sasuke's greatest obstacle. If you think happily ever after is _that_ easy to achieve, you've apparently never read my writing before. ;-)

**Also **thanks to _Teehee, whiteleopard, Ingrid, _and _oluja _for your lovely reviews. Remember, if you really want your questions answered, please leave a logged in review. Bundle up and keep warm wherever you are. (eyes chibi shadow readers) Is that…hot chocolate? (drools)


	5. in Secrecy

**A/N-** Thank you for so many wonderful reviews, far more than I could have ever anticipated! Well, now we get to see what's been happening in Konoha. Different characters will start popping up over the next couple chapters, so enjoy!

Ack! Almost forgot. **akai-sora** did another fanart for Chapter 4 titled "Lost and Found" and she colored "Pride" from Chapter 3. Check out the links in my profile to see them.

**Disclaimer**: …Seriously?

**_Ikigai_**

**in Secrecy**

**Chapter 5**

Neji leaned against the wall, eyes closed and arms crossed, appearing far more indifferent than he felt. He never did heed the Hokage's advice to go home and get some sleep. Nothing short of an all out attack against the village would have pulled him away from Hinata's bedside. Eventually he'd fallen asleep in a chair with her hand still enclosed in his. Now he had an uncomfortable kink in his neck but it'd been well worth it when she had woken up that morning. This time he didn't even have to speak for her to know he was there.

The hole in his chest left by her presumed death was slowly beginning to heal. As a child he'd been eager to protect her, his little Hyuuga princess. But with hatred for the Main House growing in his heart, he'd failed her in the most vile way. If she had died back then by his own hand….

Neji forced the memory of her fierce, imploring eyes back. That day was long past and Hinata had proven her point. She would never be his equal in skill, but that day she'd been his superior in will. The weak little heiress would defy the Hyuuga just as she defied her own fate to fail. He honestly believed that…right up until two years ago. All those years before, he'd sworn to himself that he would see Hinata stand up as the next Head of the Hyuuga Clan and unite the two houses once more. His dreams died with her.

He didn't know what to think anymore. She was alive, yes, and words couldn't describe how he felt about this. But with the shock of finding her alive again beginning to wear off, he was left wondering what life held in store for her now. If her sight never returned, her life as a shinobi would be over.

"Ne, ne, Sakura-chan, we've been waiting for hours! Can't you give me a little clue about what's going on?"

Neji opened his eyes to watch Naruto beg the increasingly annoyed pink-haired medic for information. He knew why Sakura was here, since she was the Godaime's apprentice, and it was logical that he and Hiashi-sama had been summoned to the Hokage's office since they were Hinata's family, but he hadn't quite figured out what part Naruto and Kakashi were to play.

There could be a number of reasons for Naruto's presence. He was Tsunade's successor in training and thus was often privy to Hokage matters. Also, he'd always been a close friend of Hinata's, though not as close as she had wished. Add to that the matter that he had been on the team that found Hinata's alleged remains and one could see he had every right to be here.

Kakashi , on the other hand, hadn't been among those to investigate Hinata's death and neither had he been particularly close to her. The man currently had his nose buried in one of his books and seemed entirely disinterested with the whole affair, not that he even knew what it was about. Sakura and himself were the only people in the room who knew Hinata was still alive. Tsunade didn't want word to get out until she had finished examining her condition. Once the news broke, there would be an influx of visitors and gossip.

"Naruto, you have to wait just like everyone else," Sakura scowled at the blonde. "And another five minutes isn't going to kill you."

"It is unlike the Hokage to keep anyone waiting this long," Kakashi murmured as he flipped a page. Everyone blinked at him, still not over the shock that he was actually there before the Hokage in the first place. He, of course, pointedly ignored them.

Hyuuga Hiashi shifted subtly and Neji glanced at him before following his gaze to the door as it swung open and Tsunade and Shizune walked in.

"It's about time," Naruto grumbled and winced as Tsunade solidly smacked him on the head with the file in her hand.

"Patience is a virtue," she scowled. Moving around her desk, she sunk into her chair. "And it's not like I kept you waiting on purpose."

"Forgive me, Hokage-sama, but I assume this is important," Hiashi said, efficiently pulling her attention away from her successor's antics.

Amber eyes flickered to Neji and she nodded permission. Lifting his gaze to his Uncle, Neji took a deep breath and steeled himself.

"Hinata-sama is alive," he said with considerable more calm than he felt.

Dead silence shrouded the room as silver eyes stared into silver eyes, one pair hiding nothing, the other hiding everything. Finally Hiashi turned back to the Hokage.

"This is true?"

Neji sighed with relief, taking comfort in his Uncle's exceptionally blank expression. Hiashi only closed off his expression so tightly when he had a great deal to hide. The other shinobi in the room were not quite as adept at hiding their reaction as Tsunade proceeded to inform them of his encounter with the allegedly dead woman.

"Nani!" Naruto finally broke from his shock. "It's really her? How? Where has she been? Is she alright? Where is she now?"

Tsunade blinked at the rapidly fired questions until Sakura helpfully bopped Naruto on the head.

"Give her a chance to explain, doofus," she muttered.

Rolling her eyes, Tsunade flipped open the file on her desk. "I'll address the matter of her health first. She is severely underweight and I have reason to believe she was even more so before she was returned to us."

"Returned?" Kakashi echoed, tucking his book away.

"Her muscles are seriously atrophied and she can barely sit up under her own power. Her chakra system is also seriously depleted. She couldn't have made it this far on her own," Tsunade said.

"You expect her to make a full recovery then," Hiashi observed.

"Given a proper diet and physical therapy, she will be back on her feet within a few months. Her eyes are another matter entirely."

The subtle tilt of his brows was the only outward sign of the Hyuuga Head's concern. "What's wrong with her eyes?"

Tsunade leaned back in her chair. "She's blind."

Naruto breathed in sharply. "Blind?"

"Is it irreparable?" Hiashi asked and Naruto glanced at him incredulously.

_How can he be so emotionless about this?_

"I have never seen damage this extensive. Her chakra pathways and optical nerves feel like they've melted under massive strain. Maybe with repetitive healing sessions we may be able to restore some of them but the chances of her regaining her sight in any capacity are less than two percent."

Neji swallowed the lump forming in his throat. _Less than two percent is hardly a chance at all. Hinata will never see again._

"I'm not surprised, given what was done to her," Tsunade added and anxiety exploded within the prodigy. The image of her charred remains was still lodged in his mind. Did he really want to know what tortures she had really suffered? Yes, yes he did. And he wanted to know who did it so he could hunt them down and rip out their spines.

"She is lucid?" Hiashi asked as if it was of mild interest to him.

"Very, and she told me an interesting story." Tsunade said. "It seems the mission she set out on two years ago had been a setup from the start with the intent to capture her."

"They wanted the Byakugan," Neji said with certainty. There was no other reason to target Hinata.

Tsunade nodded. "_They_ specifically being Yakushi Kabuto."

"You mean that snake had her all this time?" Naruto growled, fists clenching in anger.

"Hinata never mentioned Orochimaru, but seeing as it was Kabuto who captured her, it's safe to assume Orochimaru was involved. The damage to her eyes is the result of a genjutsu."

"The Byakugan can see through most genjutsu. It should not have caused such extensive damage," Hiashi said.

"True, if the genjutsu was temporary," Tsunade agreed. "From what Hinata has told me, she was trapped in this particular genjutsu for nearly two years."

Neji's eyes widened. Two years, trapped in a nightmare? It was a wonder she was even still sane!

"Obviously, the genjutsu was made with the intent to test her Byakugan to its very limit. She was aware that she was in it for the entirety of the time but was unable to break free. Kabuto must have created the genjutsu specifically for this purpose. She was lucky she didn't suffer brain damage as well," Tsunade said.

"How did she escape?" Kakashi broke through the stunned silence.

Tsunade smirked. "Now that is the interesting part. Hinata told me a man she knows only as Haru saved her. She couldn't give me any details about the rescue itself since she was very nearly dead at the time. This Haru told her only that he had broken her free from the genjutsu. He took care of her until she was strong enough to survive the journey back to Konoha and then he left her to be found by Anbu."

Everyone followed her gaze to Neji.

"Whoever he was, he was gone by the time we arrived," he said to their silent question.

"So we really have no idea who saved her," Naruto said.

"Actually, we do." Tsunade gestured to Shizune who handed her the bundle of cloth in her hands. Tsunade unfolded the large shirt that obviously belonged to a man. "This is the shirt Hinata was wearing when Neji brought her in."

"I think I have one just like that," Kakashi murmured.

Tsunade smirked. "Oh, I sincerely doubt it." Flipping the shirt over, she laid it flat on her desk, exposing the small red and white fan sewn beneath the collar.

"Sasuke," Naruto breathed.

"Sasuke-kun," Sakura murmured then looked up at Tsunade with wide viridian eyes. "I didn't see this yesterday."

"You were preoccupied," Tsunade shrugged. "Besides, Hinata's hair covered it. I didn't even notice it until this morning."

Neji took half a step towards her desk. "I don't understand. The Uchiha wouldn't do something like this."

"I agree," Hiashi said with the faintest of scowls. "The Uchiha traitor has no cause to help anyone. This can only be a coincidence."

Naruto crossed his arms and nodded. "Sasuke wouldn't go out of his way unless he had something to benefit from it. There's no way this Haru guy could be him."

"I'm inclined to agree," Tsunade said, "however, the evidence seems to suggest otherwise. First," she raised one long finger, "he had opportunity. Who else would have been able to infiltrate Kabuto's lab with such ease and remove an invalid? Two, no one else would be fool enough to wear this crest, and three, Hinata said the one thing she remembers most about Haru is that he smelled like lightening."

All eyes shifted to Kakashi.

"Chidori," he murmured.

"I don't know what could possibly motivate Uchiha Sasuke to do something this _benevolent_, but we can't discount the possibility that it was him." Tsunade took a deep breath. "Especially since this Haru person intends to come back."

"Back?" Hiashi demanded stiffly.

Tsunade met his unnervingly blank stare. "Hinata said she promised him a favor for saving her life and that he told her he would return to claim it one day."

"What kind of favor?" Neji asked.

"She doesn't know but she refused anything that would require her to betray the village and he agreed to those terms. Hinata believes he will come back."

"So much for benevolence," Naruto scoffed.

"I don't understand," Sakura shook her head. "Assuming Haru is Sasuke, why would he risk returning to Konoha? He knows that if he comes back we'll never let him leave again."

"Unless he has no reason to leave," Kakashi said.

Tsunade nodded. "My thoughts exactly. Until we know for certain who Haru is, I don't want anyone to breathe a word of this to Hinata. It's clear she's already formed an attachment to him and the last thing I want is to stress her out. Kakashi, how do you feel about taking a little trip?"

Kakashi stroked his chin thoughtfully. "Ah, it's always nice up north this time of year."

"Eh," Naruto scratched his head. "I'm confused."

Sakura sighed. "Do you really think Orochimaru would let Sasuke just walk away with one of his experiments?"

"Um…."

Kakashi looped an arm around the blonde's neck and pulled him towards the door. "I'll explain on the way, Naruto."

"Tsunade-sama, permission to go with them?" Sakura asked quickly.

"Denied. I need you here and so does Hinata," the Hokage told her and felt a surge of pride when Sakura nodded sharply instead of wilting in disappointment.

"I'm going to place Hinata under Anbu guard, just to be safe." Tsunade turned back to Hiashi. "I don't know what he wants with her, but I'm certain he doesn't want her dead or he wouldn't have bothered to bring her back to Konoha."

"The Uchiha cannot be trusted," Hiashi said. "Hinata will be safer in the Hyuuga compound."

"I'd like to see her gain several more pounds and more movement in her legs before we move her. In the meantime, Neji," she focused on the Anbu Captain, "I will place you in charge of her security. I'm sure that will satisfy everyone for now."

Neji looked at his Uncle who nodded sharply.

"I would like to see Hinata now," Hiashi said.

"I will take you," Neji offered.

"No," Hiashi said, turning away. "You have more important things to do right now."

Neji watched him leave before looking back at the Hokage. "You really believe it was Sasuke."

"You felt the chakra signature, Neji," she said. "What do you think?"

* * *

Hinata cracked her eyes open, oblivious to the bright sunlight shining through her window. Someone was in her room but she never heard the door open. She must have dozed off after her exhausting conversation with the Hokage. Tsunade didn't even try to sugar coat the results of the tests, knowing she wouldn't have appreciated it. She was a highly trained medic and already knew the extent of the damage done to her eyes. False hope had no value and the sooner she learned to live with her disability, the better.

Whoever was in her room made no move to make themselves known and she tried to hone in on their position with little success. Only thanks to her sensitivity to chakra was she even able to sense him.

"Nii-san?" she called, but she was certain it wasn't Neji. It didn't feel like Neji.

Near silent steps approached her bed and a large hand covered one of her own. When her visitor remained silent, Hinata tilted her head and tried to figure out the intricacies of his chakra. It felt very familiar, quietly intense like Neji's….

"Father?"

Hyuuga Hiashi was infinitely grateful that his daughter was unable to see the glimmering in his own eyes. His heart had always been torn in two when it came to Hinata. She was his firstborn, the spitting image of her mother in both form and personality. He loved her and despised her in equal measures and had been incapable of concealing his disappointment in her weakness. The Hyuuga clan valued strength and she simply didn't have it, especially when compared to Neji and her sister.

In time, she proved herself to possess something far more valuable and had regained the favor of the Main House through hard work. Never had he known regret so painful as the day he was informed of her death. She had died with honor while on a mission, never knowing how proud he was of her.

It felt like a punch in the gut when Neji told him she was still alive. He didn't know what to feel, but when the Hokage told him Hinata had lost the very thing that made her a Hyuuga, he had believed it best if she had remained dead. What life could she hope to have now? She certainly couldn't fulfill her destiny as the Head of the Clan when she was incapable of defending herself. The Council would never stand for it.

But seeing her now, her face so full of life….

Her small hand curled around his and a tiny smile curved her lips. "Father, is Hanabi with you?"

"She does not yet know," he said, wondering how she could recognize him without her sight.

"I'm sorry," she murmured, her eyes dropping in a typical Hinata fashion.

Clearing his throat harshly, Hiashi pulled his hand back. "The Hokage thinks it will be a while before you can return to the compound."

"I know," she said, then smiled almost sadly. "How is Hanabi? Is the Clan satisfied with her?"

_She doesn't expect to regain her inheritance_. A small surge of pride tickled his heart. She didn't speak with resignation, only as a matter of fact. Even without the Byakugan, she still retained the Hyuuga honor and nobility.

"She has made chunin recently."

Hinata's smile widened. "The Clan must be pleased." _You must be pleased. I was never that skilled at her age_.

"She will be a strong leader," he agreed. _As you would have been._

"Hai," Hinata murmured.

Hiashi shifted uncomfortably. "I will tell her you are here."

Her small hand lifted and unerringly found his. "Arigato, Father."

* * *

Naruto hesitated outside of the door, unable to enter even after watching Hyuuga Hiashi leave ten minutes before. In a few minutes he was to meet Kakashi at the main gate on a recon mission to the Hidden Village of Sound. What they would find, he didn't dare to hope for.

It all seemed too impossible to believe. Two years ago he found the blackened corpse of Hyuuga Hinata, one of his most precious friends. The repercussions of her grisly death had shaken many a powerful shinobi. In time, the wound scabbed over though it would forever remain raw and tender. Hinata had been an inspiration to many of them, he most of all. She'd never failed to believe in him and her shy smile was a balm to his frequent injuries of both flesh and pride. His one regret was that he couldn't love her as much as she loved him. He hadn't even known how deep her feelings were until after her death and by then it was too late anyway. His heart had been given to Sakura years ago and Neji told him Hinata had both known and accepted this.

He was afraid to open the door, to look into her eyes and see his own guilt that he couldn't protect her, save her from this. Tsunade had said she was lucid, but was she still the same Hinata, still silently brave and innocently fierce?

"Naruto?"

He looked up at Neji striding down the hallway towards him. "I just wanted to see her before we leave."

Silver eyes studied him for a moment before softening ever so slightly. "She should be awake," Neji said as he reached past him and slid open the door.

Naruto stared after him for a moment before stepping into the room.

"Nii-san, is that you?" Hinata's soft voice asked.

"Hai, Hinata-sama. How do you feel?"

"A little tired. Father came to see me."

"I know."

Hinata tilted her head slightly, pale lavender eyes shifting as if trying to catch sight of something that refused to stay still. "Is someone with you, Nii-san?"

Naruto raised a brow when Neji gestured for him to remain silent.

"Hai," he said. "Can you guess who?"

Her fair brows dipped in concentration and Naruto shot Neji a questioning glance. Was this really the time to be playing games?

The frown creasing Hinata's brow suddenly vanished into an expression of joy. "N-Naruto-kun?"

Blue eyes widened. "How did you know?"

Her smile brightened and pink dusted her cheeks at the sound of his voice. "No one has chakra like Naruto-kun."

"Even without Byakugan, the Hyuuga are very sensitive to chakra," Neji explained to Naruto's confusion. "Especially Hinata."

"That's good, right?" Naruto said, crossing the last few steps to the bed. That she should know the feel of his chakra even after two years apart eased the throbbing wound her death had left.

"It helps," Neji said, his expression giving nothing away.

"Naruto-kun is well?" Hinata asked, looking up in the direction of his voice. For a moment he wondered if she really was blind.

"Ne, Hinata-chan, I should be asking you that." He scratched his head nervously. "I just wanted to see," he swallowed harshly, "to see you were alright. I have to leave for a mission in a few minutes and I might be gone for a while."

Her smile softened. "I'm alright, Naruto-kun."

"Yeah." He smiled though he knew she couldn't see. "I can see that now. Well, I better go."

"Be safe," she murmured.

"You too, Hinata-chan. Later, Neji."

The two men shared a silent look full of meaning before Naruto nodded sharply and left. There would be no more mistakes this time.

Hinata turned her face towards where she knew Neji was standing. "What's wrong, nii-san?"

Neji blinked. "Nothing. Do you need anything? Are you hungry, thirsty?"

Her brow creased faintly and he silently cursed himself for trying to be too accommodating too quickly. If she didn't think he was hiding something before, she certainly did now.

"I am a little thirsty," she finally said.

Relieved that she didn't intend to pursue the matter, Neji filled a cup with the pitcher of water on the side table. Guiding her hand to the cup, he let her take it and watched silently as she drank half the contents.

"Hinata-sama, tell me about Haru."

Cradling her cup in both hands, Hinata smiled shyly. "What do you want to know?"

Neji's eyes narrowed slightly. "Did he take advantage of you?"

To his horror, her cheeks flushed bright red.

"Hinata-sama!"

"No!" she said quickly, pressing a hand against her cheek to cool the heat. "No, never!"

Neji pulled the cup from her hand and set it back on the side table before reaching to grasp her shoulders. "Hinata-sama, it's alright to tell me if he—."

"Oh, Neji, you don't understand." She clenched her fingers in his shirt. "Haru-kun would never do that. He was s-so kind and gentle. He didn't have to save me and he spent months just taking care of me!"

Her blind eyes stared into his, pleading for him to understand.

"Hinata-sama," he soothed her gently, "I know you feel in debt to this man, but you were alone with him for quite some time and in your condition—."  
"We weren't alone," she interrupted.

Neji blinked. Tsunade hadn't mentioned another person being involved. "You weren't?"

Hinata shook her head slowly. "There was an old woman who made our food and helped me bathe. She was mute, but very kind. I never knew her name."

Neji struggled against the feeling of reassurance her words gave him, not wanting to believe the traitor Uchiha could be capable of even a speck of chivalry. He was certain of his identity for just as the Hokage said, the chakra signature that lead them to Hinata had been far too powerful to be her own. There were too many coincidences and in their world, coincidences were very rare.

He stirred from his thoughts when her small hand slipped up to cup his cheek.

"Neji-nii, why are you asking me these things about Haru-kun?"

_How can you still be this innocent?_ "I find it strange that he ran away so quickly after bringing you here. His actions were noble so why should he run?"

Hinata's brows dipped into a frown. "I think he had somewhere to be. He was always so restless and I-I think I was keeping him from something important."

"And he never hurt you, never took advantage of you?" Despite the evidence, he just couldn't reconcile the actions of this man. Kind and gentle were not words to describe the Uchiha. Cold and ruthless were far more accurate and Hinata would've instinctively been wary of such emotions. Of course, the name meant nothing. Sasuke never would've given Hinata his real name. Maybe this made it easier for him to act contrary to his nature.

Hinata tilted her head as she tried to hear what he didn't say. It was understandable that Neji should be worried about her. In the years after their first Chunin exam, he'd become almost obsessively protective of her. It had been a gradual change, of course, starting with afternoon sparring and training. No matter how much she wanted to, it'd been difficult to trust him back then and she was still afraid of his power. But through missions and training, even the occasional shared cup of tea, they both healed. Her alleged death must have torn him to pieces and tears welled up in her eyes at the thought that she had caused him so much pain.

"Hinata-sama?"

No, this worry in his voice, in his repetitive questions was deeper, darker. It had purpose and intent behind it, even a hint of malice towards the man who'd been her savior. Could it be possible Neji knew who Haru was? Either way, it was best if her protective cousin didn't know about the kiss or the fact that she and Haru had shared a bed for warmth every night.

"He didn't harm me in any way," she said softly, firmly.

Neji studied her silently for a moment and reluctantly accepted that she was telling the truth. "Did he tell you nothing of himself?"

Hinata shook her head and leaned back against her pillows. "I know he was a shinobi. He had to be strong to have taken me from Kabuto's lab and he knew about the Byakugan. When I asked him his allegiance, he said it was to himself." Her face lifted towards his presence. "D-Do you suppose he is a missing-nin?"

"It is possible," Neji said, his voice even and unreadable.

Hinata plucked at her blanket. "He could have sold me to the highest bidder or even just left me with the old woman. I-I don't understand why he saved me or why he troubled himself to bring me home…." She patted the bed a few times until she found his hand and squeezed it gently. "But I am grateful."

Neji closed his eyes and sighed. For whatever reasons that remained unknown, and for certain they were as selfish as they could be, Sasuke had done right by Hinata. She would've been forever lost to them.

"I am grateful too, Hinata-sama." _Even if he is a traitor._

* * *

**Ingrid-** _"__Have you noticed how in every story it's only Sasuke who gets jealous while Hinata only gets depressed. Can't you change that tradition and make her green beast come forth later on in the story? Please, please, pretty please?"_

There's a good reason why Sasuke and Hinata react the way they do. Sasuke is an arrogant and possessive person. If someone threatens something that is his, he gets angry and violent. Hinata does get jealous, but because of her personality, her natural reaction to jealousy would be withdrawal, internal frustration/anger more at herself than anyone else, and depression. She is not a confrontational person and is more interested in preserving other people's happiness than her own. As much as I would love to accommodate your wishes, I can't do so by deliberately changing the characters. However, don't worry. There will be plenty of opportunities to see a fired up Hinata. ;-)

**Also** thanks to _oluja, Nemulos, TeeHee, whiteleopard, starfire201, _and_ Cat _for your lovely and encouraging reviews.

Wow, so many chibi shy shadow readers came out of the woodwork for that last chapter. Maybe I should wait for the next holiday break to update… Nah, I couldn't be that evil. ;-)


	6. in Fortitude

**A/N-** Because everyone is so desperately missing Sasuke (seriously it's only been one chapter people!), I've decided to update early to get you guys there faster. He pops up again in Ch 7, which I will be updating next week and then it's back to every other week again. The plot starts to get more meaty at that point too.

The ever wonderful **akai-sora **has done another pic, a manga page from the last chapter so check out the link in my profile, as usual.

Disclaimer: La la la I'm not listening la la la!

Enjoy!

_**Ikigai**_

**in Fortitude**

**Chapter 6**

When Haru-kun first took her away from the familiar comfort of the mute woman's home, she'd been terrified. Every sound, every sensation was different and unknown. There was still much she was trying to place into her memory and recognize by means other than her sight, but the experience wasn't quite so terrifying when she knew Neji was watching over her.

It was a beautiful day and Tsunade had given her cousin permission to take her out into the hospital's courtyard. A small smile curled Hinata's lips as she remembered the tender care Neji had taken in helping her into the wheelchair and then packing layers of blankets over and around her so she wouldn't catch cold. He scarcely left her side from the moment he found her in the forest and she could taste the mixed anxiety and relief rolling off of him in waves. If she'd believed him overprotective before, she clearly had underestimated his potential to worry like a mother hen.

Lifting her head up towards the warmth of the sun, Hinata closed her eyes on instinct alone and breathed deeply of the crisp morning air. In her memory the air of Konoha had always been clean and fresh, but now she could detect numerous scents hidden in the breeze. Since she had little else to do, she took her time in pulling them apart and identifying them.

No one had spoken a word of it, not Tsunade, not Neji, not even her father, but she knew it was on everyone's mind. Her career, her life, as a shinobi was over. It would be a long, difficult road just to recover a semblance of her strength through the physical therapy she had already begun. But without her sight, she would never be able to fight or heal.

She wanted to cry, to scream into a pillow or pound her frustrations out on a stump until her hands were blistered and bloody. More than that, she wanted everyone to stop treating her like she was broken. If they did maybe she would stop thinking she was.

Her father hadn't come to see her again since his last visit, and Hanabi never did. Neither surprised her, but she felt a sharp pain at the thought that her own sister didn't care to see that she was alive after believing her dead. It didn't really matter Hanabi's reasons for staying away. Soon she would be returning to the Hyuuga Compound under medical supervision and they were bound to cross paths eventually. It wasn't something she was looking forward to in the least. Even if she could no longer see the looks of disappointment in the eyes of the clan, she would still feel them.

Pity. She loathed it but knew it was bound to be her constant companion now. The respect she had earned would wither and die now that she was essentially an invalid. Her fists curled tightly in the blanket on her lap at the thought of being pushed aside and forgotten, little more than a child in constant need of care.

"Hinata-sama?"

She jerked at hearing his voice so close when she never sensed his approach. A strong hand grasped her shoulder in a gesture of reassurance.

"I didn't mean to startle you, but…" Neji faded off, not sure how to broach what could be a sensitive topic. He'd been sitting on a bench a distance away to give Hinata some well deserved space while still being close enough to keep an eye on her. Numerous expressions slipped across her face unguarded when she didn't realize she was being watched. Hinata had always been expressive for a Hyuuga, but this had been unlike anything he had ever seen. It made him vaguely uncomfortable to be seeing her emotions so plainly written across her features. She had always been an easy read for him, but Hinata had become quite capable in concealing her deepest emotions in later years.

Just then her private thoughts might as well have been written in ink as they took a decidedly darker turn. For a moment she appeared torn between sorrow and anger. Hinata rarely became angry so he couldn't help being curious about her thoughts, especially when she started twisting her hands in her blanket as if she were trying to strangle someone.

"Is it time to go back in?" she asked in her small, yet assured voice.

He smiled though he knew she couldn't see. "No, we can stay a bit longer."

She nodded, long hair falling forward to cover her sightless eyes. Neji made a mental note to schedule an appointment to have it cut as it had become straggly and brittle in the time she was gone. Clearly Kabuto had only attended to her body's basic physical needs while he kept her comatose with the genjutsu. Hinata might not be able to visually benefit from a little pampering, but he refused to allow anyone see her remain in such an untended state. She was still the oldest daughter of the Main House, and though she could no longer claim the title of heir, she was still his little Hyuuga princess. The loss of her sight didn't change any of that.

Neji lowered himself to sit on the grass so he could look up at her face. Even if she didn't say it, he could make a good guess as to what she was thinking about. It'd been plaguing his thoughts too. If it'd been him to lose his sight, the very thing that made him the prodigy of the Hyuuga Clan, well, he would probably drink himself senseless and do his best to stay that way.

He didn't want to trouble her with questions about what she was going to do now when she had only just returned to them a few days ago. Tsunade was very pleased with her physical progress and had even done some healing on the chakra pathways in Hinata's eyes to help ease the headaches she had developed. Hinata was determined to regain her mobility, that was obvious enough, but she hadn't spoken a word regarding what she would do after and no one had dared to ask.

"What are you thinking?" he found himself wondering aloud.

Hinata's face tilted up and a small, rueful smile curled her lips. "Everything…is so intense."

"How so?"

She chewed on her lip for a moment, considering how best to describe this new and frightening experience. "I remember eating my lunch in this garden many times, but I don't remember the smell of ramen and," she sniffed the air, "barbeque being so strong."

The corner of Neji's lips curved. "Your other senses are compensating for your sight. Naruto and Kiba are the only ones I know who can smell the ramen stand from here."

Hinata giggled, startling them both. "Naruto-kun can smell ramen from anywhere," she said with a fond smile.

He chuckled. "True. Still, that is a remarkable ability few possess, Hinata-sama."

Dark hair slid across her unseeing eyes as she looked in the direction of his voice. "Neji…."

"What of your other senses, Hinata?" he cut her off. "Tell me."

Her brow creased for a moment before she sighed and closed her unseeing eyes out of habit to concentrate. Neji remained entirely still, not wanting to cause any distraction. A semblance of a plan was forming in his mind, some means of hope, however thin the thread might be.

"The wind…." She tilted her face towards the sun, knowing it was afternoon because she had already had lunch. "Is coming from the east. I can hear—." She frowned at the cacophony of sound, murmurs and intermittent shouts blending together like salt and water. She reached for them stubbornly, trying to rip them apart and identify something, anything that was familiar.

Fire seared through her head and she cried out in pain, clutching it tightly. In a heartbeat Neji was there, his hands joining hers with a gentle flow of chakra soothing the enflamed nerves.

"Shh, it's all right," he murmured, pressing his forehead to hers to ground her in her dark world. "I've got you."

Hinata panted softly, her hands grasping his wrists to hold on rather than make him let go. "Gomen. Gomen nasi," she whispered, the tears she tried so hard to hold onto slipping from her eyes.

"No," Neji sighed. "I shouldn't have pushed you so soon. We still don't know how much damage there is."

"Neji, it's useless. I'll never—."

"Don't," he hissed and she flinched at the strangled emotion in his voice.

"You don't," Neji squeezed his eyes shut. "You don't know how long I—. We'll get through this, Hinata. Whatever it takes, we'll do it. There's no giving up now." His voice slipped to a near silent whisper. "There never should have been the first time."

_He still blames himself._ The realization pained her more than anything physical ever could. Releasing one wrist, she hesitantly raised a hand to find his cheek, her fingers trailing along the curve of soft skin to cradle his face.

"Nii-san, I'm scared."

Neji's breath left him with all the force of someone punching him in the stomach. Hinata had long since learned not to reveal weakness or fear and from her composure over the last few days, he knew those lessons hadn't been forgotten. As quickly as his breath left him, his heart swelled with the gift she'd just given with the vulnerable confession. Her confidence remained his, an unspoken forgiveness for a sin she didn't hold him responsible for in the first place.

"That's okay, Hinata," he whispered. "It won't last forever."

* * *

"You're doing great, Hinata. Just five more."

Hinata grit her teeth against the pain flaring up and down her body and pushed with all her waning strength. Her arms trembled like grass in a storm as they extended above her, forcing the weights off the pedestal once more. It didn't matter that it was the lowest weight the exercise bench had, two measly pounds, and it didn't matter that each repetition lit trails of fire through every muscle in her upper torso. The only thing that mattered to her in that single moment was that she was going to do two more lifts than the day before. Each day she would do more because she needed to be strong, because she never wanted to hear such pain and fear in Neji's voice ever again for as long as she lived.

The weights dropped with a resounding clank and Hinata laid panting on the bench, certain her muscles had turned into limp ramen noodles. Hearing a soft scratching, she turned her head to the right where she knew Sakura was standing, making notes on her progress.

"I know it doesn't seem like much now," Sakura said when those blind eyes settled on her, "but this is only your third day with physical therapy and already you were able to increase the repetition. Not a lot of people can do that, Hinata."

"I still…have a long way…to go," she puffed.

Emerald eyes softened. "Yeah, but you'll make it all the way. I'll let you rest for a bit before we start working on your legs, okay?"

Hinata nodded and listened to Sakura's steps move away, but not out of the room. Having helped a few people through a similar routine of physical therapy in the past, she knew exactly what was in store for her. Already her muscles screamed for pushing them beyond their abilities. The pain would only get worse before it would get better, but she was no stranger to pain. Often she had beaten her own hands to a bloody pulp, willing herself to exceed her own endurance. It would take more than pain to break her resolve.

As she had done many times before, she surrendered her fears to faith. Neji believed she could recover in some way, still _be_ something in some way and she'd never known him to believe in a lost cause. She would endure this pain for that bit of faith because she didn't want to be broken anymore.

Slowly her breathing eased in her pained chest and as she often did when left in silence, she thought about _him._

How many weeks, months, did Haru spend taking care of her, time he could have spent in his own pursuits? Sometimes, she could still feel the warmth of his arms around her at night, keeping her safe from the darkness that lorded over her.

"_I'll be back to claim my favor."_

He would. She knew he would, and when he did, she wanted to be standing on her own two feet, to be on equal ground with this faceless man who frightened, comforted, and excited her in ways no one ever did. She wanted to prove to him that his efforts hadn't been wasted, that even in darkness she could be strong.

If she gave up now, Kabuto would have won. He may have destroyed her sight, but her spirit remained. Her will, her mind, no matter how torn and tattered they were, they remained hers alone. As much of it that still lingered, she was going to take her life back one brutal step at a time.

Sakura returned shortly and helped Hinata to sit up on the bench, handing her a bottle of water to quench the thirst her activity inspired.

"Ready for more?"

Hinata swallowed a large gulp of water and nodded sharply, slender brows creased with determination.

Sakura helped her down onto the floor mat and situated herself beside Hinata's right leg.

"You don't have much strength or mobility in your legs yet, so I'll move them for you at first to loosen up the muscles. If we push too hard or too quickly, we can do some serious damage."

"I know," Hinata said.

Sakura hesitated and sighed. "I'm sorry, Hinata. I wasn't trying to patronize you. It's just, when I get into medic mode, well, you know how that is."

A small smile softened the look of set determination on Hinata's face. "I'm just glad it's you and not Yuki-san."

Sakura snorted, wrapping her hands around Hinata's leg, one just below the inside of her knee and the other on her ankle. "It's a wonder that woman has lasted this long. You'd think one of the patients would've killed her off if not one of the staff."

Hinata chuckled to avoid hissing at the pain flooding through atrophied muscles as Sakura gently lifted and bent her leg. In a few moments it became difficult to even breathe and Sakura abandoned the leg to work on the other for a few short repetitions. By the time she was done, Hinata was panting heavily, her hair damp with sweat.

"This is worse than I thought," Sakura murmured, eyeing her friend's heaving form. "You could barely handle the minimum."

"Two years," Hinata gasped. "Long time."

Using the end of her own shirt, Sakura wiped away the sweat glistening on Hinata's pale brow. "It takes a lot more than that to keep a good kunoichi down," she said, thankful Hinata couldn't see the worry on her face.

A smirk that looked suspiciously like one of Neji's expressions curved Hinata's lips. "Hot water."

"Huh?"

"What do you do when you over extend during training?" Hinata asked.

"Moist heat," Sakura replied automatically. "It helps the muscles to relax without drying—." She slapped her forehead. "Idiot! Why didn't I think of that?"

Hinata's soft laughter quickly subsided into gasping when her body protested the action. "Kami, it's good to hear your voice again," she wheezed, a tear slipping from her eye down onto the mat, the product of stress, pain, and relief.

Sakura caught her hand and gripped it tightly. "Hinata, if you ever need to talk about, you know…."

Slim, pale fingers gently squeezed back and Sakura quickly blinked back her own tears. She couldn't even begin to imagine what psychological tortures her friend had suffered in the genjutsu and nothing in Hinata's quiet determination even hinted at the trauma, but they all knew it was there. Several of the nurses had mentioned hearing her scream and cry out in her sleep at night, but until Hinata was ready to face those demons again, there was little they could do.

With crystal clarity Sakura remembered performing the autopsy on Hinata's alleged remains. In the end, all that really identified the scorched skeleton was the hitai-ate melted into the collarbone and a bit of hair recovered from a scrap of clothing. She hadn't slept for many nights after that and found no consolation in the memorial service nearly the entire village turned out for.

"Please don't do that." Hinata's soft voice pulled her back.

Sakura blinked in confusion. "Do what?"

Blind eyes sought green. "Neji gets real quiet and tense like that too sometimes and I can always tell he's thinking about…."

"I suppose we are all still getting over the shock," Sakura admitted. "I should get you back to your room now so you can rest. Tomorrow I'll see about taking you to one of the hot springs for your therapy. Hot mineral water will work even better to ease the stress and pain on your muscles than just heated tap water."

She lifted Hinata up into a sitting position when the door to the therapy room suddenly slammed open making both girls jump.

"Hinata!"

In an instant she was swallowed up in a tight embrace, her face pressed into a warm, soft coat that smelled distinctly of forest and fur. Tears of memory sprung to her eyes and she lifted her weak arms around his waist and curled her fingers into Kiba's coat.

"They told us at the gate and I thought it was a sick joke, but I wanted to believe, but I couldn't, but they insisted and, and," Kiba's words choked off and he hugged her tighter. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry! Kami, we never should have believed—."

"Kiba-kun," her already soft voice was muffled further in his coat, but he managed to hear and eased his hold enough to peer down at her face.

"What happened, Hinata? Where have you been? How—."

"Hinata's just finished her therapy for the day, Kiba," Sakura cut him off and he looked up at the rosette medic-nin standing over him with a warning frown. "Why don't you and Shino take her back to her room so she can rest?"

Hinata turned her face towards the door, seeking out the presence she could vaguely sense.

"Shino-kun?"

Three nearly silent steps and she was pulled into another's arms. Even as she relaxed in the comfort of her silent teammate's firm embrace, Hinata thought it highly ironic that all of her senses were now dependant on the communication skills Shino was most deficient in, speech and touch. A small, near hysterical laugh escaped her throat and he squeezed her just a little bit tighter, making her think that maybe he wasn't as deficient as she thought he was.

After a few more seconds, Shino scooped her up and she loosely clutched at his coat though she knew he would never drop her.

"Hey! How come you get to carry her?" Kiba demanded, trotting after them.

"You were too slow," came Shino's stoic reply.

A soft bark made Hinata jump as she hadn't noticed the presence of Kiba's faithful companion.

"Whose side are you on?" Kiba growled at the dog who growled and yipped back.

Hinata giggled and both men froze in step, staring down at her in wonder.

"It's good to hear that sound again," Kiba murmured.

Shino hugged her a little closer and started walking again. _Yes, it is._

* * *

"Okay, here we go."

Hinata sucked in her breath sharply when hot water enveloped her feet. Despite Sakura's warning, not seeing how close she was to actually being in the water seemed to intensify the searing heat.

"Too hot?" the medic asked immediately from her left.

"It's alright," Hinata assured her. "I just wasn't expecting it."

"We'll take it slow, but if it gets to be too much, you tell us, okay?"

Hinata nodded and tried to relax her tense hold on their shoulders. On her right, Tenten reached down to splash some of the hot water onto Hinata's legs to help ease the transition. She tried to ignore how spindly and pale they looked and the fact that she could actually see the outline of bone beneath skin. Being Anbu's Weapons Specialist, she had seen her fair share of disturbing sights, but nothing had prepared her for Hinata. The girl was literally a living skeleton.

Two days ago, she came home from a mission to find Neji sleeping on the couch in her small apartment. As much as she loved the man, the sight did nothing but fill her with dread. The always composed Hyuuga Neji never sought shelter in her apartment unless something absolutely horrific had happened.

When Hinata died, he'd been a permanent fixture for weeks. Despite their relationship as teammates and friends, no one ever thought to look for him there and she never spoke a word of his presence. As much as she loathed seeing him in pain, she was equally thrilled that he found peace in her home, with or without her there. A woman in love with a duty obsessed block of stone took what she could get.

The moment he woke, she knew this time was different. The haunting pain of regret she had grown used to seeing in those silver eyes was gone, replaced by something she had only ever seen in the eyes of a newborn baby, a quiet wonder with all that was life.

She feared he had lost his mind at first when he told her Hinata was still alive, but there was none of the feverish desperation he suffered for so long after her death. Neji honestly believed what he was telling her and when he took her to see for herself….

Tenten shook her head ruefully and helped Sakura settle Hinata on one of the ledges with her back braced against a large flat stone. If word ever got out that the tomboyish Weapons Mistress had bawled like a baby, her reputation would be ruined.

Sinking down into the hot mineral water with a sigh, Tenten smiled. "Man, Sakura, if you gave everyone this kind of treatment at the hospital, you'd have no trouble keeping restless shinobi from escaping."

Sakura laughed. "There's a thought. I wonder if it would work on Kakashi-sensei. That would be the true test of success."

"Some things never change," Hinata murmured with a small smile. Sakura's efforts to treat the elusive Copy-nin were often a source of amusement.

A soft snort came from her left. "You'd think they'd learn to listen to someone capable of snapping their bones as easily as healing them." Hinata felt the water shift as Sakura turned towards her. "How did you ever get them to behave, Hinata? Even Naruto gives me a hard time!"

Hinata blushed faintly at the mention of her former crush. Naruto and Sakura had already been dating around the time she was captured. No one had spoken since about the current state of their relationship, but she doubted the ever loyal Naruto had stopped loving the pink-haired medic-nin. Despite his obvious devotion to Sakura, she always enjoyed whatever time she was able to spend with him in the capacity of friendship and that often included tending to him in the hospital.

"Ano, I just gave him ramen," Hinata said.

Tenten burst out laughing at Sakura's startled expression. "Oh, Sakura! All this time and you still don't know your own fiancé's weakness?"

A cold shiver ripped up Hinata's spine and she sunk lower into the heated water to hide her reaction. She still loved Naruto in her own silent way and probably always would, but hearing the words that neatly crushed all the little childhood dreams she harbored left her empty and lost. Even after her supposed death, everyone had continued living, continued dreaming. Life moved on without her and she was the last bit of snow on the eve of spring, balanced on the edge of two worlds and belonging to neither.

Heat rose over her face and she didn't realize until she tried to take a breath that she had slipped off the ledge into the depths of the spring. Before she could panic, hands grabbed each of her arms and pulled her above the surface. Coughs racked her body as her lungs forced out the unwelcome fluid and tried to suck in life-giving air. Only when the coughing subsided did she feel the hands soothingly rubbing her back.

"You really gave us a scare there, Hinata," Tenten said, her voice thick with worry.

"Gomen," Hinata rasped. "I-I just slipped."

Tenten and Sakura exchanged glances over her bowed head.

"How about we get started on those exercises now," Sakura suggested. "I know Kiba and Shino reserved your garden time today, so the sooner we get through them, the sooner you can get back. Akamaru tends to chew on things when he gets restless."

Hinata smiled faintly and nodded her head.

Life moved on without her, but maybe it would wait for her to catch up.

* * *

**Also **thanks to _aotenshi, Starfire201, hina-sama, Jay_chAn, Ingrid, oluja, fanofthisfiction _(cute name), and _karin chan_ for all of your lovely reviews.

(pats chibi shy shadow readers on heads) Oh, you know I haven't forgotten about you sweet little, oww! No biting! Yeesh. Fiesty little things.


	7. in Vengeance

**A/N-** Here it is, the greatly anticipated chapter 7. Now no rushing just to get to the scene with Sasuke in it, and no pelting the authoress with rotten vegetables either! I prefer fresh ones, but no celery. Ick.

**Akai-sora **did another manga frame for chapter 6. It's pretty funny so go check it out and tell her what you think. She likes reviews too! All of her pics have been condensed into an "Ikigai" folder so you only have to click on the one link to see them all.

Standard Disclaimers Apply.

Enjoy!

**_Ikigai_**

**in Vengeance**

**Chapter 7**

"What's your game, Sasuke," Naruto murmured, gazing over the pile of rubble. The ninken beside him poked its nose in whatever crevice it could find with a muffled growl of frustration. Kakashi's whole pack was working over the debris, but none of them had been able to pick up anything useful. Even _he_ could smell the old blood buried beneath the wreckage that had once been Orochimaru's hideout, but they had no means of identifying any of the bodies below.

"We aren't going to find anything here," he said to the dog and started picking his way over the mound to the rendezvous point. He assumed it had once been the entrance as there appeared to be foundation pillars spaced equally apart. Whoever blew the fortress made certain no one would ever be going in or out of it again.

Slumping down at the base of a tree, Naruto absently scratched the ears of his temporary canine partner. "Assuming Sasuke was the one who blew the compound, either Orochimaru wasn't here or he's dead," Naruto mused aloud. "But we have no real way of knowing if he is dead so that doesn't help at all. Why would Sasuke bother with blowing the place anyway?"

The dog huffed and bumped its head against his hand to remind him that he can scratch and think at the same time.

"Obviously there's something in there he didn't want anyone to see. Gah, Shino would have been a better choice for this mission. His bugs could have gotten down under all that rock," he sighed, dropping his hand onto his knee.

Having lost his attention, the ninken trotted away and started snuffling around in hopes of finding something of interest. It'd been months since anyone was here last and the rain had removed most scents, making it nearly impossible to track anything.

Black nostrils flared when they caught a whiff of something that didn't belong in the forest. Following it to one large tree, the ninken lifted its head and barked at the pensive blonde.

Naruto's head snapped around to stare at the hound. "Find something?"

It barked again and nosed around the base of the tree. Kneeling beside him, Naruto stared hard at the ground, trying to pick up on what the ninkin obviously did. _Grass, dirt, rocks, bark, hair, ant, leaf, wait…hair?_

Tucked low against the base of the tree, caught in the rough grasp of the bark was a long thread of black hair. Naruto instinctively reached for it and then halted. _Touching it could muddle the scent._

"Oi, go get the others," he told the dog. As silent as any shinobi, the ninken dashed off, leaving Naruto to stare at the misplaced thread.

"Find something, Naruto?" Kakashi's voice called him out of his quiet contemplation not five seconds later.

"There's a long hair caught on the base of this tree." He turned to look up. "I think it might be Hinata's but I didn't want to mess with the scent."

The rest of the ninken crowded around the tree, pushing Naruto out of the way.

"Hey, hey, hey! Watch the shoes," he scolded, dancing out of the way.

Amusement flickered through Kakashi's eye as Naruto finally settled to standing beside him.

"Did you find anything?" the future Hokage asked.

"The rubble is sealed tight. Only way to get in would be to dig and we wouldn't even know where to start."

"You thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Maybe," Kakashi said.

Naruto crossed his arms and huffed. "Humor me."

Kakashi smirked behind his mask. "Sasuke always was good at covering his tracks. He probably didn't want anyone to know he took Hinata with him."

"Assuming they were here. Orochimaru has a dozen of these compounds all over the place. It could've been any one of them."

"This one is the closest to Sound. Orochimaru likes to keep close to his seat of power."

"Oi, Kakashi."

The two men looked down at the little pug sitting at their feet.

"Hmm?"

The small ninkin held up his paw with the long thread of black hair. "It's Hinata's. We all agree."

Naruto leaned down to take the thread from Pakkun. With intense concentration, he carefully wound it around his finger and tucked it securely into his pocket, uncaring of the eyes that watched. "We know where he started and we know where he ended up. So where did he go in between and where is he now?"

Kakashi's dark eye softened with pride. Naruto had changed a great deal over the years from the loudmouth hyperactive ninja he used to be. He was still loud and he was still hyper too, but Naruto possessed a grave maturity few could maintain under extreme emotional stress.

All of Hinata's friends had been seriously shaken by her presumed death and Naruto was not the least among them. His former student was the one who found Hinata's charred remains and brought them back to Konoha. The future Hokage never spoke about the incident, but Kakashi knew from personal experience that a part of his soul had been hollowed out. Naruto, being Naruto, coped with the loss the only way he knew how. He put a sunny grin on his face, pulled everyone else up off their knees, and reminded them that the last thing Hinata would ever want is for them to be miserable on her account. Then he would go home every night and cry himself to sleep until the pain became just another numb memory.

Hinata's return ripped open tender wounds and there was not a one among them that would stand by to see anything like this happen to her again. If Sasuke's unknown intentions brought any harm to the former heiress, there would be hell to pay and Naruto would be among the first to deliver it. Sasuke and Naruto always did have one of those "I beat the crap out of you because I love you" friendships.

"Considering Hinata's condition, he couldn't have gone far," Kakashi mused. "There's a small village a few miles west of here that would be a good place to start with."

"Let's go," Naruto said jumping up into the trees.

Kakashi looked down at his pack of ninken and raised a brow. "I guess we're good for now."

"Want to send the Hokage a message?" Pakkun asked.

"Not yet." Kakashi turned away. "I'd like to have some good news for her first."

* * *

An hour later Naruto stood in a small room empty of all except the worn futon folded up in the corner. The village was indeed small and had no inn to speak of, but the locals pointed them to the little house just on the outskirts where an old mute woman rented out her spare room to travelers.

The woman was reluctant to tell them anything, not that she actually could. He spent fifteen minutes just describing Hinata and Sasuke to her and got nothing more than a calculated stare. Finally he just asked if he could see the spare room.

Sasuke was getting too good at hiding his tracks. There was nothing to hint at him ever having been there, but it was exactly the kind of place the man would hole up in if he had an invalid to care for. The house was secluded from the rest of the village so no one would have seen him come or go, and the spare room had a window exit right into the forest beyond. But without any real evidence to prove that both Sasuke _and_ Hinata had been here, they would have to consider searching elsewhere.

With a weary sigh, Naruto turned to step out of the room and froze at the wrinkled old eyes watching him, weighing him like he was a pound of flour.

"I just want to know how he treated her," he told the old woman. "Was he good to her? Did he ever hurt her?"

She just stared silently at him as if she hadn't even heard a word he said. With another frustrated sigh, Naruto turned and walked out of the house to rejoin Kakashi. The woman followed him as far as the porch, watching him with those silent knowing eyes. After a few steps, Naruto paused to look back at her.

"She's home with her family now, if you were wondering," he said.

It was faint, so faint he would never have even noticed it if he weren't used to seeing underneath the underneath. Turning his back on her once more, Naruto strode into the woods to find Kakashi, the image of the tiniest smile on dry leather lips emblazoned in his mind.

"They were here," he said as soon as he spotted the Copy-nin standing before a splintered tree.

"I thought as much," Kakashi murmured, eyeing the handy work of his missing former student. "He trained here."

Naruto glanced around the small glade, taking in the evidence of ninjutsu attacks on the terrain. "He must have gotten pretty restless waiting for her to recover enough for travel."

"Patience never was his strong suit. Yours neither."

Naruto scowled at the jibe.

"Did you get anything out of the old woman?"

Running a hand through his messy hair, Naruto sighed. "She smiled."

One dark eye looked at him quizzically.

"When I told her Hinata was safe with her family, she smiled. It was so slight I almost didn't catch it." Naruto stared at the ground for a moment before raising sapphire eyes to his former sensei. "I think she knows something we don't."

Kakashi's eye drooped. "That much is obvious."

"No, I mean about Sasuke." Naruto looked up the sky. "It's just weird that he would spend so much time taking care of Hinata when he could've been going after his brother. And Baa-chan said Hinata's attached to this 'Haru' guy, so that means he was nice to her and took good care of her. She trusted him." Shaking his head, Naruto met Kakashi's patient gaze. "It just doesn't make any sense."

"At least we know for sure now it was Sasuke, and we know that he didn't hurt her and probably has no intention to do so in the future otherwise he wouldn't have invested so much time and energy in helping her."

Naruto nodded in agreement. "Okay, so now what? He could be anywhere by now."

"We go home and report to the Hokage what we found."

Naruto opened his mouth to argue and closed it just as quickly, knowing he was right. Without a trail to follow, Sasuke would be impossible to find.

Falling in pace with the Copy-nin, Naruto reflected that they couldn't count this mission as a complete loss. They still couldn't confirm if Orochimaru was dead, but at least they knew for sure Hinata's savior had been Sasuke. If Sasuke really did come back to claim his favor from Hinata, this rare display of compassion on his part would serve to greatly decrease his sentence. He might even get a full pardon.

_Is that why you did it, Sasuke? Was Hinata just a means for you to get a lesser sentence when you come back? Why bother coming back anyway?_

The man never did anything without purpose, but trying to figure out his plans before they were put into action was a lesson in futility. Sasuke wasn't called a genius for nothing. His methods of strategy were about as convoluted as they come, always five steps ahead of everyone else. He had nothing on Shikamaru for sure, but then, no one did.

Naruto clenched his fist tightly and he pushed off another branch. It'd long been his hope that Sasuke would one day return even if he had to drag him back broken and bloody. Sasuke never showed any inclination of coming back willingly, intent only on gaining power by any means available and hunting down his brother. If he ever found out that Hinata was just another tool for him to use and abuse in whatever scheme he was plotting, friends or not, no place on this planet would keep the Uchiha Avenger safe from _his_ retribution.

* * *

"Why are you taking so much off?" Kiba demanded with a scowl.

"Shut up and stop distracting me," Ino huffed. She delicately parted a few strands of raven black and snipped them.

Hinata sat still as stone, knowing one should never move when another is holding you hostage with sharp implements. In this case it was Ino with a pair of scissors.

"Are you sure you know what you're doing?" Kiba challenged the blonde kunoichi again.

"Look." Ino planted one hand on her hip and pointed the deadly implement at him. "If you don't shut your yap, I'm going to come over there and take a few inches off the top of you! Got it?" She snapped the scissors open and closed a few times to emphasize her threat.

Kiba scoffed and slouched against the tree he was seated against. "Whatever."

Sharp blue eyes scanned over the small audience in the garden critically. "Anyone else want to mess with me right now?"

Neji tried not to swallow at the very real, and slightly terrifying, threat. After all, he had no real room to complain considering he was the one who asked Ino to do this in the first place, he just didn't like the idea of her being within five feet of _his_ hair while holding a pair of scissors.

It'd been his original intention to take Hinata to a stylist in town, but after some thought he knew this would completely defeat his intention of preserving her dignity. For one, Hinata wasn't well enough to leave the hospital grounds for any reason other than the therapy Sakura started her on at the hot spring. For another, hairdressers had a tendency to gossip. Even if he was able to sneak Hinata into the place without observation, word would still get out about her current state and the last thing Hinata needed right now was negative rumors dancing about.

Ino was a terrible gossip too, but she was also one of Hinata's friends and would never stab her in the back in such a way, especially since he threatened to tell Lee that she had a crush on him if she did. She didn't of course, which made the threat all that more effective. Lee did have a tendency to be a _bit_ overwhelming with his affections.

Tenten was more proficient with blades than anyone, but Ino was a woman with style and this was exactly what he wanted for Hinata. Even if she couldn't see the result herself, he wanted her to be able to feel confident and composed in the face of outside scrutiny.

When no one dared to challenge the temperamental blonde, she went back to methodically cutting off the tangled lengths of Hinata's long hair. A collective sigh went through the group of men now that her attention was no longer on them.

Hinata tried not to fidget under the attention of so many eyes as she felt piece after piece of her hair fall. It'd been about shoulder length when she was captured, but had grown quite a bit since then. With each snip of Ino's scissors, she felt her head feeling lighter and lighter with the loss of added weight.

"How short will you go?" Shino asked suddenly, startling everyone. Of the three men sitting there, he hadn't spoken a word as they watched Ino work.

Recovering quickly, Ino patted Hinata's head before continuing. "As short as possible. It'll be easier for her to take care of and that way, as she gets healthier, her hair can grow out healthy too. It's too brittle right now to do much with." _Snip._

The three men nodded at this logic until Kiba frowned. "You'll make her look like a boy!"

Ino scowled. "Have a little faith, will ya? I know what I'm doing here!" _Snip._ "Besides, Hinata is too pretty to look like a boy."

Kiba and Shino looked at Neji who glared right back. "Not a word," he hissed.

Hinata dug her fingers deeper into Akamaru's thick fur as she patiently waited for Ino to finish. The dog's large head rested contentedly in her lap, unmindful of the black clippings that fell onto his white fur or the kunoichi who had to keep stepping over him each time she needed to move around Hinata. He was the only one Ino couldn't move with her threats and glares.

_I wonder,_ Hinata mused as she listened to the banter of her friends, _will Haru-kun think I'm pretty?_

* * *

Sasuke sat up with a sharp gasp, kunai in hand and Sharingan activated before he was even fully conscious of his own actions. Blood red eyes scoured the darkness for threats as sweat trickled down the sides of his face, his chest heaving with harsh, panting breaths.

It took him several minutes to relax his tense muscles after confirming that he was alone in the small rented room, just as he'd been the last two times he jolted awake. Slumping back onto the bed, Sasuke glared at the dark ceiling as if it were to blame for the monsters that stalked him in his dreams.

How long had it been since he last had a peaceful sleep? Two months to the day if anyone was counting. Two months since he left her pitiful little body under a tree in the pouring rain crying out for him to stay. Two months since he last held her soft curves against his hard lean length. Two nightmare-ridden months since he last shared her gentle warmth and breathed the sweet herbal scent that clung to her ivory skin.

How did he ever live so long without it? The woman was a plague, a siren calling him to his demise. No good could come from anything that distracted his focus so completely.

And yet…it was her absence that drove him back to the madness that governed his existence. If she were here beside him, his demons would remain silent and he would be able to rest. How could a creature so weak and frail possess such power?

With a frustrated groan, Sasuke threw the musty blankets aside and stalked to the window. For weeks he'd been steadily stalking his brother's movements and finally, _finally_, he had found him. No doubt Itachi was aware of how close he was despite his precautions to hide his presence and yet neither of them had tried to approach the other.

Obviously Itachi was waiting for him to make the first move and Sasuke wasn't sure what held him back now. This was the moment he'd dreamed of nearly all his life. He had shed every attachment and the blood of his friends to get here and now he hesitated. Why?

_What's a little more blood on my hands? She'll never look at me the same way again regardless of what happens now. I wonder…did she cry when they told her who really helped her?_

Snorting at his reflection, Sasuke turned away from the window and started packing up his few provisions, trying not to think about what really bothered him. Before Hinata, the path had been clear right up until the moment he ripped the life from his brother's body. Before Hinata, it didn't matter if he died in the process. But if he did, he would never taste those innocent lips ever again, never feel her clinging to him as if he were her sacred sanctuary.

Her sightless eyes had sparked the tiniest seed of a dream that men like him were not privileged to entertain. A wife, a family, a future, things that didn't belong to a man of his breed waited for him in the security of Konoha.

_Something worth living for._

A long forgotten beast stirred within him, hungering for things denied by the path of revenge. _She_ had awakened it with her vulnerable strength and innocent trust and the longer he stayed apart from her, the more restless the beast became. She was only supposed to be a means to an end, a tool to accomplish his final goal, but each passing day forced him to face the fact that he honestly _wanted_ her. He wanted to be warm again at night, to find rest from his demons, to be seen once more as a savior and not a harbinger of death.

Slipping his pack over his shoulder and sheathing his swords at his back, Sasuke stalked to the door and ripped it open. No more waiting. No more hesitating. Itachi had destroyed everything that meant anything to him, but one thing would remain out of his reach.

_You've tainted everything with your poison, but you'll never have the chance to touch her._

Disappearing into the night as if he were a part of it, Sasuke embraced the hatred and anger his brother had been so intent on cultivating in him. What had once been a raw, burning heat was now cold and calculated, carefully tended over the years to serve as his strength and not his weakness. Sasuke had no illusions about what awaited him in this battle. Itachi would do everything in his power to screw with his mind, to blind him with emotion and maybe for a little while he might even succeed.

The path of revenge had filled him with black loathing for the man he once idolized and longed to become. Those few memories of the love he once held for his older brother were buried deep within a mountain of pain, waiting to be unearthed and bring him to his knees. But a small light glowed upon the top of that mountain, silver and lavender, soothing and warm, holding the all encompassing darkness at bay with surprising ease. His sunny place.

Crimson jewels glinted back at him through the darkness; expectant, indifferent. Sasuke didn't even slow his pace as he dropped his pack on the ground and reached for the sword at his back. There would be no long drawn out speeches between them, no hesitation and no pre-battle taunts. He had only one thing left to say to this monster.

"**Die!"**

* * *

**Also **thanks to _aotenshi, Ingrid _(no, Hinata never cried out in her sleep when with Sasuke), _TeeHee, kitcat, oluja, _and _Starfire201_ for your lovely reviews.

Well, back to waiting two weeks to find out what happens to Sasuke. (hides behind chibi shy shadow readers) everyone is going to hate me…


	8. in Hope

**A/N**- Apologies about some of the confusion in the last chapter with regards to time, but it seems like you all got it right anyway. Just for clarification, though, the scene with Sasuke took place six weeks after Hinata's haircut (most everyone caught on to that large time jump). I was having trouble dividing the scenes up without unbalancing the chapters, that's why it came out odd. Anywho, this chapter occurs on the same day as Sasuke's scene. And to avoid any possible confusion in this chapter, any _italics_ that are in "quotations" are words/thoughts/conversations remembered.

**Akai-sora **has done a concept sketch for chapter 7 (if you have any suggestions to motivate her completing it…hint hint). Also she kindly put all her Ikigai work into one folder so now there is only the one link in my profile to go see all of them. Saves profile space, ne?

**Disclaimer:** Lol, every time I write a disclaimer, I think of the first time I read fanfiction and read the writer's disclaimer that she didn't own Rurouni Kenshin (the one I was reading) and I told her she could buy the entire anime on Ebay for a good price. I was such a dork. =P And no, I don't own Naruto (the rights or the dvds).

Enjoy!

**_Ikigai_**

**in Hope**

**Chapter 8**

Hinata's head snapped up and nearly clocked Neji in the chin.

"Hinata?"

"Ano, I thought I heard…" Shaking her head, she forced herself to relax in her cousin's arms. "Gomen. It was nothing."

Slender brows furrowed, but Neji decided it best to leave the matter alone. Her highly tuned senses often left her confused and disoriented since she wasn't entirely sure of what was real and imagined. Shifting her in his arms, he continued walking to the Hyuuga Compound.

Tsunade had finally released Hinata into her family's care with the assurance that someone would bring her in every day for her therapy and eye treatments. She could now stand for short periods of time with the assistance of another, but walking was another matter entirely. She still had a long road ahead of her, but her release from the hospital was a large milestone along the way.

She wasn't exactly excited about the news, but he never expected her to be. None of the family, aside from him, had bothered to visit her in the hospital. Her father had only done so once and Hanabi not at all. There was pain there he wasn't willing to touch, but perhaps with Hinata returned to the house, some of the wounds may start to heal. If anything, at least he would be able to keep a closer eye on her.

Round the clock, an Anbu team had been stationed in the immediate vicinity of his cousin. Added to this a constant stream of her friends always at her side and Hinata was as safe as a person could be, but that still didn't put Neji at ease.

Naruto and Kakashi had confirmed on their return that it had indeed been Uchiha Sasuke who had saved her and returned her to Konoha. They also confirmed Hinata's story about the mute woman who assisted with her care.

Neji didn't know what unsettled him more: the fact that his little cousin had been at the mercy of the Uchiha Avenger, or the fact that he actually had been a gentleman with her. It just didn't fit with what he knew of Sasuke's personality. There was also the unshakable certainty that Sasuke wanted something from Hinata. This unknown favor she had promised him continued to hover like a dark cloud over his thoughts. What could Hinata give that the Uchiha would ever want?

Without a means to track Sasuke's movements, things had quieted back down in the last few weeks. Hinata tenaciously continued with her difficult and painful therapy, and the few times when her resolve began to waver or depression started to set in, someone was always there to pick her back up. Naruto was invaluable in this step, always having been the foremost source of inspiration for her. The blonde's own unbreakable determination and optimism moved her through some of the worst stages of progress and eventually, he was the one who finally got her literally on her feet.

Of course, Naruto had needed a bit of talking to himself. In a fit of anger and pain shortly after Hinata's presumed death, Neji had revealed her deeply concealed feelings to the future Hokage in a cruel effort to shift the guilt he felt onto someone else. He still remembered the look of complete shock and despair in Naruto's eyes. A lot of things had been said back then that shouldn't have been and he wasn't the only one with regrets.

For a long while, Naruto only visited Hinata in short spurts and always when she had other company. He took every assignment Tsunade had up for grabs just so he had a legitimate excuse for not staying longer or visiting more often.

"_Sakura told her about us," _he'd admitted when Neji confronted him about his avoidance. _"I know how much it hurts to be near someone you love and can't have. I don't want to do that to her."_

"_Idiot. Your avoidance hurts her more."_

He started coming more often after that, even sneaking Ichiraku ramen in on occasion and keeping her company when no one else could. When it became clear that Hinata's attitude towards him hadn't changed and she displayed no discomfort in his presence, he even started helping out with her therapy under Sakura's guidance.

Day by day, Hinata started to laugh and smile more, her uncertainty towards the future slipping into content patience. It appeared as if the only scars from her ordeal to remain were those on her body, but Neji knew how deceiving appearances were, especially with a Hyuuga.

"We're here," he said, walking through the gate of the compound. Hinata's fingers tightened on his shirt, but she gave no other outward sign of trepidation.

Neji stepped in and a flood of women pounced on them, Main and Branch house alike, snapping orders left and right about what should be done with the injured heiress.

Hinata shrunk into him in an effort to block out the thrum of voices and tension bombarding her senses and he hugged her closer, a bit overwhelmed himself. Not one of them bothered to visit her in the hospital but the moment she came home, they all assumed to make the decisions?

When they tried to take her from his arms, he finally snapped.

"Enough!" he yelled over their twittering voices and blessed silence fell over the startled women. Each took a wary step back under the force of his furious glare.

"I have already seen to Hinata-sama's needs. If you feel so inclined, you may visit her once she has rested, **not** before."

A soft, reluctant murmur of understanding filtered through the matrons. Satisfied with their compliance, Neji strode through them and into the compound.

"Vultures," he muttered under his breath and Hinata giggled softly into his shirt. Neji smiled down at her despite knowing she couldn't see. "I'm not always going to be here to keep them away, so don't let them push you around, okay?"

Hinata nodded and looked up into the dark void where she knew his face to be. "I'll try."

Sliding open a door with his foot, Neji walked into the room and gently set Hinata on the bed. He'd seen to it that the softest blankets and pillows had been purchased for her comfort and they were lightly scented with rosewater fragrance. Sakura agreed with his theory about stimulating Hinata's other senses and he was going to take every advantage offered to him to do so. Since she would be spending quite a bit of time in this room, he made sure that everything in it conveyed the sense of comfort and security. She would especially enjoy having the sliding door into the secluded garden open so that she could hear the birds and feel the midday breeze.

"Don't try to get up without assistance," he warned, puffing the pillows behind her. "There's a bell right here if you need anything." He guided her hand over to the nightstand and the small bell he provided for her to call a servant should she need one.

Hinata picked up the bell and studied it with her fingers for a moment before setting it down on the nightstand within easy reach.

"Arigato, Nii-san."

Neji stepped around the bed and slid the door open to the garden. "I'll come get you for lunch in about an hour. Is there anything you need right now?"

Hinata shook her head and smiled at his doting concern. "I promise I won't go anywhere," she said.

Neji blinked and then shook his head at her teasing. "I'll hold you to that."

Once he left her alone to acclimate to her new surroundings, Hinata sunk into her pillows and sighed. She hadn't really thought this far ahead though obviously she wouldn't be staying in the hospital forever. It was comforting to know Neji would always be near unless he was away on mission. His absences made her feel all the more isolated. Her friends wouldn't be as inclined to visit her here since the overbearing matrons of the house would no doubt decide such company would be dangerous to her health.

In her efforts to regain her strength and consequently a semblance of life, she'd now been relegated to a house that would happily keep her in the position of helpless dependant. No doubt it soothed their pride to see her so weak, knowing they could keep Hanabi as the next heir instead of restoring her. She had never been wanted in the first place, no matter how strong she became.

_Hanabi…_

Of all the people to come see her, she had hoped her sister would be among the first. She feared what the Clan might have done in her absence. The pressures of being the heiress could be suffocating. No matter the Clan's or her father's preference of Hanabi over herself, she would always cherish her sister.

Running a hand through her short hair, Hinata took hold of one long bang and twirled it around her finger. She started growing her hair out when she was fourteen at the insistence of the clan's matrons. They expected her to look and play the part of a young lady of means no matter her chosen profession. Long hair annoyed her, getting in her way when she sparred, sticking to the back of her neck when it was hot, but it didn't really matter what she wanted then.

She was happy Ino cut it as short as she did, just a bit longer than she used to wear it when she was young with the long bangs framing her face to ensure a feminine touch to the boyish cut. Of course the matrons would insist she grow it out again, but at least she had the excuse of her precarious health to maintain its present length for quite a while.

Pausing her idle motion, Hinata tilted her head and tried to hone in on the sound that had caught her attention. There'd been a soft whisper of motion beside the door Neji left open into the garden, but it could've been nothing more than the wind.

"Is…is someone there?" she asked hesitantly, feeling a sudden tension that was not entirely her own.

"I hate you."

Hinata stiffened at the hissed words, raw with animosity.

"H-Hanabi?"

Narrow lavender eyes glared at the frail woman in the bed, wanting her to feel the anger she couldn't see. "This is all your fault," Hanabi growled, clenched fists shaking at her side. "Because of you…they made me…." She choked on the tears welling up in her eyes. "I was never supposed to be the heir!" she finally screamed.

Hinata instinctively reached for her, forgetting her current limitations in the face of her sister's pain and anger, and fell off the bed. Her arms stung from the impact but she ignored the pain and tried to push herself up onto her knees. "I never," she panted under the force of exertion. "I never…wanted that…for you."

Strong hands grabbed her and pushed her back until she was sitting against the bed. For a long, tense moment Hinata gasped for breath while her sister's hands gripped her shoulders painfully.

"What happens now," Hanabi whispered desperately.

Raising a hand to her sister's face, Hinata pulled her head down against hers. "I don't know," she said. "But we'll figure it out together."

Some of the stiffness eased out of Hanabi's shoulders at her sister's gentle reassurance. Hinata always had a way of making the insurmountable seem bearable. Not one day after her memorial service, the Clan council immediately started training her as a replacement. She was given no time to grieve for her beloved sister, forced to spend each day studying clan law and etiquette, economics, and physical training until her eyes burned and she could no longer feel her body. Neji himself was wild with grief and could do nothing to help ease the increasing burden besides offer an opponent for an occasional spar. Those were the only times the two of them found any real solace, numbing themselves with physical pain until all thought and memory ceased.

When her father told her Hinata was still alive and had been returned to them, Hanabi almost wept with relief. Finally her sister had returned to save her, to take her rightful place once again. Her father immediately smashed that childish wish by informing her that Hinata was now blind and would never again be capable of serving as a shinobi or medic.

So really nothing had changed and she stewed in the anger and resentment that had become her existence ever since her sister disappeared from her life. Didn't Hinata realize how much she needed her? That she was always the better choice as heir because _she_ was the stronger one? Hanabi didn't have the fortitude to stand up to the manipulations of the council, floundering so desperately to get some kind of footing in her upside down world that she was easily pushed every which way they desired. Sometimes she found herself gasping for breath just thinking about the responsibilities so hastily shoved on her. Meek Hinata never had such troubles with her position as heir, or was she just too blind to see all that her elder sister had been trying to protect her from?

Sinking down beside her, Hanabi wrapped her arms around her sister's frail body, wincing at the evidence of her ordeal and hating herself for ever thinking such vile thoughts. "Forgive me, sister," she murmured as the tears she long held at bay finally found release. "I promise I'll take care of you now."

* * *

Hinata listened to her little sister's even breaths as she slept. Her fingers trailed through soft hair and down the gentle curve of a cheek, trying to see with her hands what her eyes failed to. She didn't know what a fourteen year old face ought to feel like, but surely the small creases around Hanabi's mouth shouldn't have been there. Whatever didn't show on Hanabi's face to be seen rang in her voice to be heard. The young teen was weary and drained of life. The Clan must have been merciless in training her to take her place as heiress, taking advantage of Hanabi's grief to manipulate her into their perfect little pawn.

_All this time I was worried about my fate and I forgot about hers._

She threaded her fingers deep into her sister's hair and let it slip through each digit. Hanabi refused to leave her side for the entire day and eventually fell asleep in her bed as she had often done as a small child. If felt strange having their situation reversed. Now Hanabi was in the position to protect her from the inner workings of the Clan. Her status as heiress would remain unchallenged which gave her a power Hinata never possessed. No matter the displeasure of the elders, they could do nothing to stop Hanabi once she found her will again.

_All hope for uniting the two houses now lies in her. I have been cast aside._ But Hanabi still looked to her for answers…and she didn't have any.

"_Haru-kun, what happens now?"_

"_Go to sleep, Hinata."_

Turning her face into the pillow, Hinata obeyed the gentle command of her memory.

She woke the entire house two hours later with her screams, visions of blood and death dancing across her blind eyes.

* * *

Sasuke jolted to awareness when a piercing scream shattered the night to pieces. The hoarse burning in his throat told him it was his. Waves of agony ripped through him with each gasping breath and he dropped his gaze to the steel driven through his body, pinning him to the tree. It was the only thing keeping him on his feet, his own sword wielded against him.

Dazedly, he raised his hand to grasp the hilt and stared blankly at the blood dripping from his fingers. His entire arm was coated with it, but he couldn't feel any pain that would accompany such a tremendous loss of blood aside from the one searing straight through his body. Looking up from the crimson liquid, Sasuke locked eyes with cold obsidian, as empty in death as they had been in life. The hazy confusion washed away at the sight of the bloody gash torn through Itachi's chest and Sasuke's hand twitched. He could still remember the feel of ripping through flesh and bone with Chidori to discover the one thing he'd always wondered.

Itachi really did have a heart after all.

Even in death, his brother's eyes were mocking him, satisfied that he would not be alone in defeat. With his own lifeblood steadily leaking from his body, Sasuke's awareness slipped towards a welcomed darkness that knew no pain or guilt. His parents had been avenged. The past could rest and now, so could he.

"_D-don't go!"_

His eyes snapped open in alarm at the panicked cry. Frantically he searched the moonlit glade but found he was alone. The voice was only a ghost of a memory. The darkness started calling him back and he lacked the strength or will to resist.

"_W-w-wait!"_

His eyes snapped open again.

"Would you rather die?" he whispered to the phantom in his head. The only answer he received were tears glistening in sightless lavender eyes.

"Stop crying." Stiff fingers curled tightly around the hilt of his sword.

"_Y-you came back."_

The other hand joined the first. "I hate it when you cry," he hissed.

"_**Little brother, do you really think you will ever be free of me?"**_

An unwilling scream of anger and pain tore from his throat as he yanked the sword free with one harsh pull. Without the steel to hold him up, he collapsed to the ground in a pool of his own blood, just three feet from his brother's corpse. Obsidian eyes so much like his own stared back vacantly, taunting his weakness and failure. Itachi had seen in the heat of battle that something had taken root in his soul, a possession pushing him beyond the hatred and rage of vengeance.

"_**Could it be, little brother, you have found something else to live for?**__"_

Such a cruel irony that the two of them would fall together, brothers in death as they couldn't be in life. He'd always expected this eventuality, but a small part of him refused to surrender so easily despite the peace death offered that was so closely at hand.

"_Why did you help me? What do you want?"_

Coldness seeped through him, numbing his body and mind.

"Hinata."

"_D-don't go!"_

"When I wake," he whispered, his sight fading, "can there be light?"

* * *

Hanabi brushed her fingers through her older sister's short hair as she slept with her head pillowed on her lap, fingers gently clutching the fabric of Hanabi's pants. She'd bolted awake when Hinata woke up screaming, prepared to fight any enemy that dared to attack her sister. It took a moment to realize the enemy was inside Hinata's head where she herself couldn't go.

Half the compound arrived within seconds to investigate the panic, Neji first among them. With an ease inherent only to the most intimidating of men, he quickly dispersed the curious crowd of relatives, assuring them everything was under control. Hanabi didn't feel quite so confident, but she trusted Neji and knew the last thing Hinata needed right now was the callous attention of the Clan.

After nearly an hour of soothing words and touches, Hinata finally succumbed to a more peaceful rest, secure in her sister's embrace. Long afterwards, Neji remained perched on the end of the bed, silently guarding the both of them.

"Did this happen in the hospital?" Hanabi asked quietly so as not to disturb her sister.

"Yes," Neji replied, eyes staring off at nothing.

"What do you suppose she sees?"

Tilting his head to look at her and then down at Hinata, Neji sighed and glanced away. "I don't know."

They remained in silence for a few more moments before Hanabi spoke again.

"Neji, who is Haru?"

He stiffened and slowly turned to look at her. Hanabi tried not to flinch at the hard, piercing stare.

"Where did you hear that name?" he demanded.

Hanabi looked down and brushed a long bang away from Hinata's pale face. "She called out for him."

Neji forced himself to relax but found it exceedingly difficult knowing _exactly_ who Hinata had been calling out for in desperation. "He's the man who returned her to us."

Startled lavender eyes looked up at him. "Truly? Where is he now?"

"We don't know. He simply left her in our path and disappeared." He hesitated, wondering how much he should tell the young heiress. Hanabi was fiercely protective of Hinata and in a position that held a vast amount of clout with the council. She would be a strong ally, perhaps the only one he could trust unconditionally with Hinata's well-being. Hanabi was the only other person who would ever put Hinata's best interests before the Clan's.

"From what Hinata has told us, we believe he is a missing-nin."

Slender brows drew together with obvious displeasure before smoothing apart. "Why would he bother bringing her back to us then?" she wondered. "Surely there must have been something in it for him."

"Hinata promised him a favor," Neji admitted, looking down at his sleeping cousin. "She believes he will come back for it and so do I."

Hanabi narrowed her eyes at him, trying to pick up what he wasn't saying. "There's something you aren't telling me."

"Later," he assured her, flickering his gaze up to her and then back down to Hinata.

Comprehending instantly, Hanabi leaned back against the headboard and continued stroking her sister's hair. "Whoever he is, she must care for him a great deal," she mused. "The way she cried out his name…it sounded like she was watching him die."

* * *

**Ingrid-** I started writing this story before there was any information in the Naruto series about Akatsuki and was far too deep into it to make adjustments when information became available, so they will not appear in or affect the story in any way. If it helps to rationalize their absence, consider that anything involving the Akatsuki simply takes place after the end of Ikigai. (And please don't ask me to write a sequel at that point. It is do-able, but I seriously don't want to mess with that can of worms.)

**Also **thanks to _**aotenshi**, **Starfire201**,_and_ **oluja** _for your lovely reviews and to everyone who kindly leaves _signed _reviews so I can answer you directly without cluttering up my chapters…though this chapter was a little short and needed some extra clutter…

(locks self in bunker) Okay, you can let me have it now. But remember, even chibi shy shadow cuteness will not save you from future cliffhangers!


	9. in Pain

**A/N- **(pokes head out of bunker) Ah! Fresh air! I'll enjoy it for as long as I can…which might not be all that long. Apologies that this chapter is on the short side. Not sure exactly how that happened, but it is the only one this short. And as much as I would love to update earlier than usual to compensate for it, I'm afraid I've got too much on my plate right now. So, you will all have to be content with the addition of the finished version of the "Not a Word" scene in chapter 7 and a spoof on the most serious scene in Chapter 8 titled "In Death" that **akai-sora** drew. I laugh every time I look at that one. (grins)

**Disclaimer: **I own a book on Sudoku. Does that count for anything?

Enjoy!

_**Ikigai**_

**in Pain**

**Chapter 9**

"_I-I'm not dead?"_

"_What do you think?"_

"_I think y-you don't know."_

"_Why?"_

"_You are not real."_

"_Why do you think I'm not real?"_

"_Because you feel real."_

The torturous shudders of pain wracking his body felt _very_ real. He burned from the inside out like someone was cauterizing every vessel with a hot iron.

_Itachi._

Cracking his eyes open, a blurred image of grays and blues greeted his sight, dark and distorted like the rest of the world around him.

"You didn't bring the light," he murmured, eyes slipping closed again, too weak and pained to attempt focus.

"Jii-san, he's awake!"

Sasuke winced at the exclamation spoken too loudly and too close to his throbbing ears.

"Not so loud, Baku," a patient, gravelly voice chastised.

There was a quiet shuffling before Sasuke felt a hand slip under his head and gently tilt it up. The rim of a cup touched his parched lips and he greedily accepted the offering, soothing at least the fire within his throat.

"Do not try to move or you will tear open your wounds again," the voice advised. "I had quite a time stitching you up and I'd hate to see my handy work go to waste."

Sasuke grunted and grimaced at the resonating swell of pain it inflicted. "Hot," he whispered.

"Hmm, yes. You've been running a fever for several days now," the old man said, laying a cool cloth across Sasuke's forehead. He nearly sighed at the instant relief, one more pain edged away. Within his muddled thinking, it took him awhile to grasp what the man had just told him.

_Several days…._

"How long."

"Hmm?"

Sasuke mentally snarled with irritation. "How long," he grated out between clenched teeth.

"Well," there was the sound of water swishing around in a bowl before the cloth on his forehead was removed and replaced with another. "My grandson and I stumbled upon you and your…companion…three days ago while scavenging for medicinal herbs."

Sasuke reflected that he sounded entirely too happy about that.

"Kami must favor you, boy. I am not an actual doctor, but I am the closest thing to one in a ten mile radius. I've patched my fair share of broken bodies, but I must say yours was a bit of a challenge. Didn't honestly think you would make it half the time."

_Neither did I._

"You're not out of the woods yet, but you seem awfully determined to live. She must be one special lady."

Dark brows dipped into a frown. "Who?"

"This Hinata you keep calling out for in your sleep. I've seen able men die from much smaller wounds than this. She must really be something worth living for."

Sasuke laid in silence for several minutes while the man checked over and re-patched his wounds. The smell of herbs perfumed the air, reminding him of nights spent in a soft embrace; lavender eyes full of trust and hope in him, an angel of death.

"She is," he whispered long after the old man left his side.

* * *

From a distance she looked happy and content, but Hanabi knew once night descended over the Hyuuga household, Hinata was anything but happy. Tortured, lost, scared…broken. A couple weeks had passed since Neji brought her home from the hospital and Hinata still would wake up screaming, often for her "Haru-kun". She refused to tell anyone the contents of her dreams, suffering the burden alone as was her habit. At first Hanabi was insulted that her sister refused to trust her with the pain, but the feeling quickly faded into dull throbbing grief. She abhorred being helpless when Hinata was suffering so much.

Slipping down to sit on the porch, Hanabi leaned against the post to watch her sister in the garden. Hinata could walk very short distances now, but not without someone nearby to catch her should she stumble. Despite this advance in mobility, she was often bored. Her former responsibilities and hobbies were lost to her now, rendered impossible by her blindness. Of course, Hanabi had never known her sister to give up and now was no exception.

Hinata's first love had always been gardening. Cultivating a bit of earth granted her peace when all else seemed to fail. Hanabi couldn't imagine the point of tending a garden when one would never _see_ the results, but it kept Hinata occupied and content. At present she was wrist deep in rich soil, unknowing and uncaring of the smudges on her pale pink kimono as she measured the earth using her hands as a ruler. After a moment she paused and held her hand out to the silent man beside her.

Many of Hinata's friends and colleagues came calling in the first week after she'd returned from the hospital only to be turned away by the family. The matrons insisted Hinata was too frail to entertain company and neither she nor Neji could be there all the time to ensure that some of them got through. The only man who intimidated the matrons enough to get past their supercilious wall of excuses every single time was Aburame Shino.

To put it frankly the man gave her the creeps, always silently watching the world from behind those dark glasses. It was impossible to know what he was thinking, but he only ever had to step into the room and Hinata would smile like a flower opening up to the morning sun. Hanabi didn't know how her sister was able to recognize him before he even uttered a word, but she had a definite knack for it. Shino spent the day with her as often as three times a week, sometimes doing nothing more than sitting quietly with her on the porch. Today, Hinata recruited him for her little garden project.

He handed her a small wooden peg and she sunk it deep into the ground before measuring out another section and repeating the process. The top of each peg bore a different shape, painstakingly carved to be identified by touch. Once she placed them all, she looked up in the general direction of Shino's face, her unfocused eyes staring just slightly to the right of him.

"Shino-kun, could you hand me the Echinacea, please?"

Looking over the variety of young plants in the box beside him, Shino selected the requested herb and gently placed it in her hand. Hinata smiled her gratitude and dug a small hole in the first section of soil. When she finished with one plant, she asked for another, each type having its own measure of space distinguished by the carved posts so that she would be able to find them easily.

She hadn't really thought much past the planting of the garden. Even now she required the assistance of someone else's eyes. If she would be able to mix her tonics and ointments with only the aid of touch and smell remained to be seen; but she did know that if she spent one more day sitting in her room listening to life pass her by, she would go insane. With nothing but death and pain whispering at the fringes of her mind, she needed a distraction and she needed it now.

_No one ever got anywhere sitting around at home,_ she mused, slowly filling up her patch of ground with healing herbs and lavender. The lavender had no real medicinal purpose, but the scent was soothing and helped to overpower the pungent odor of some of her ointments.

Neither Neji nor Hanabi had to say anything to convey their discomfort with her project when she told them what she wanted to do. Perhaps it might've been easier if they had spoken their doubts rather than remain silently disapproving. When the matrons got wind of her intention, they'd been in such a tizzy about extending herself too much and pursuing goals out of her reach. Hinata merely smiled and told herself that such things had never stopped her before. She didn't know how to react to Hanabi and Neji, though.

Shino's reaction had been altogether different. Upon hearing the details of her plan, which she had to admit weren't all that detailed at the time, he sat silently for several minutes before asking her what kind of plants she wanted. He picked them up himself, even going so far as to dig up the harder to locate ones from the forest. Maybe he truly believed she would be able to continue her pursuit of medicine with her disability, maybe he didn't; but his quiet support meant the world to her. The enigmatic member of Team 8 had always been that way, never discouraging her with word or deed even if he thought she was in over her head.

Sitting back, Hinata brushed her hands off and smiled with satisfaction. "How do they look?" she asked.

Shino scrutinized the plants placed relatively evenly apart and throughout the sectioned garden. "Small," he said and the corner of his lip tilted up when Hinata giggled.

"Of course they are small now, but they grow really fast," she said. Reaching out to trace her fingers over the carved posts, her bright smile slipped into somber reflection. "Thank you for helping me, Shino-kun."

"I expect some salve as due compensation," he said and Hinata's smile brightened again as she looked up towards his voice.

"Hai, Shino-kun."

* * *

Sasuke stared pensively at the small wooden box on the floor beside him, obsidian eyes no longer hazed over with fever and confusion. It'd been two weeks since the old man, Masa, deemed it safe enough to move him the couple miles to his small home. His wound tore open in the process and infection set in, putting him back into a delirious state for several more days. When he woke once more with his senses about him, he was resting on a soft futon in Masa's home and the small box containing his brother's ashes was on the floor beside him.

It hadn't occurred to him to ask what happened to his brother's body until a few days after his first waking. The last thing he wanted was anyone to get a hold of the Sharingan's secrets through his traitorous brother. How like Itachi it would be to betray the clan once more in death, but he needn't have worried. Masa burned the body before predators could be drawn by its rotting stench and salvaged the ashes. The old man had no doubt recognized the similar features that denoted family.

Every day he sat here and stared at the box, unbearably numb. If not for the constant pain of his injuries, he would've believed this all to be some strange dream. All his life, his nightmares, his pain, his betrayals, his sacrifices, had led to this and he felt…nothing. There was no peace, no satisfaction, just an intense sense of loss. It took him a few days to define the emptiness and its source.

He was no longer an Avenger.

Sinking back against the pillows propping him up, Sasuke pulled his gaze away from the box and met the curious stare of Masa's grandson. The eight year old flushed at being caught staring and quickly looked away, pretending to be interested in the foul concoction his grandfather was mixing.

Sasuke tried not to grimace, knowing the pungent goo would soon be slathered across his body. None of Masa's remedies smelled or tasted pleasant, but their potency was incentive enough to brave the horror. He was seriously missing Hinata's lavender herbal scent and he couldn't help but wonder if she ever made her own medicines and ointments. With that thought came the realization that he really knew precious little about his wife and she even less about him.

_This is going to be awkward_, he mused. Just about as awkward as the word "wife" felt on his tongue, but he very much liked the sound of it. To come home every day to her bright eyes and sweet smile, to wake up with her warmth in his arms, her gentle fragrance mingling with his…. _I wonder if she is waiting for me._

It'd been almost three months since they parted and it would be a good deal longer before he was healed enough to travel. He needed to be at full strength before returning to Konoha, knowing what would await him there. Punishment was for certain, considering his defection, and Hinata's family would probably try to kill him when he made his claim known. He had no doubt the Hokage would at least see the value of the match since he was the last Uchiha and Hinata's bloodline remained strong despite her disability. Convincing the Hyuuga Clan might not be quite so easy with his less than stellar reputation, but they were never ones to suffer weakness or burdens of any sort. Without her sight, Hinata could no longer serve as a shinobi or medic and probably couldn't even get around the house without someone keeping an eye on her. In their arrogance, they would probably coddle her through her recovery and then unload her as quickly as possible.

Sasuke stiffened. _What if they marry her off? _

Any marriage the Clan arranged for her would be immediately annulled by the contract in his keeping, but if he didn't get to Konoha in time to present his claim….

Sasuke clenched his fists and growled at the thought of another man touching her, holding her, kissing her. Hinata was pure innocence and he would kill anyone who tainted those lips, that body, that spirit that belonged to him.

_I need to heal faster._

In answer to his thoughts, Masa and his grandson appeared beside him and the uncomfortable process of changing his bandages began. This time Sasuke didn't complain even in his mind. The old man could cover him head to toe in grease if it made him heal faster, not that the sticky, yellow-greenish gunk was much different.

"How long?" he asked as Masa poked and prodded the large wound on his abdomen.

"The infection is gone and the skin is knitting nicely, but the internal tissue will remain tender and susceptible to further damage for some time. I'd say you have about another month yet for this one to heal up well enough for you to become fully active again. No doubt your muscles are suffering a bit from all this lazing about."

Sasuke scowled darkly at the prognosis. That would put him at almost two months before he could return to Konoha. Hinata would be fully recovered herself by then. _And able to marry. _He growled.

Masa chuckled, wrapping fresh white linen around him. "I'm sure she's waiting for you, young man. Women never forget a face like yours."

"She's blind," Sasuke blurted before he could stop himself. Masa looked equally startled at his admittance, but only shook his head at the glare Sasuke shot him, daring him to comment.

Masa carefully knotted the bandages. "I knew she was special," he murmured.

"What do you mean?"

Sitting back on his heels, the old man wiped his hands on a cloth. "The blind can see things others can't, things no one wants to be seen. This girl of yours probably knows more about you than you think."

Sasuke's brows dipped into a frown before he glanced away with a scoff. "Senile old man," he muttered.

Masa chuckled again. "Most days anyway," he said, gathering up his supplies to carry them back to the table. Sasuke watched him from the corner of his eye until he realized the grandson was still sitting next to him, staring with those big, worshiping eyes that made him want to fidget.

"What," he growled at the boy. Usually the eight year old kept his distance, especially after he snapped at him a few times, but today he was undeterred.

"Mama is blind," Baku said with a small tilt of his head. "At least, she says she is, but she always seems to know when I'm doing something I shouldn't."

The corner of his mouth twitched slightly. "It's a mother thing," Sasuke said gruffly, not sure why he was being so tolerant of the boy. Maybe he just needed a distraction to keep from thinking about Hinata for a while.

Baku nodded his head sagely. "Yeah. It's kind of creepy. Sometimes I'm not even in the same room and she just _knows_." The boy shivered as if his mother were some otherworldly being that should be feared. He then proceeded to tell Sasuke all of his latest adventures whether he wanted to hear them or not.

He listened with half an ear, nodding at the appropriate moments, and silently wondered what it would be like to have a kid of his own. It was unlikely he would be this chatty, but maybe his stories would be more interesting since it would be his own son speaking instead of someone else's. He'd never really given much thought to being a father before, but it was about time he started. The whole reason he deceived Hinata into marriage in the first place was to restore his clan.

She would be a great mother, loving and kind, and her pure bloodline would significantly strengthen the Sharingan. Hinata _was _special, but for different reasons than the old man believed. She was the future of the Uchiha Clan, _his_ future.

_Wait for me, Hinata._

* * *

**Also **thanks to _**aotenshi, Jay_chAn,**_and_**Cat **_for your reviews as well as anyone I might have missed and all my chibi shy shadow readers. If you find my head spinning around somewhere, please return it. It's been a crazy couple of weeks.


	10. in Despair

**A/N**- For those missing SasuHina moments, here is some Tenten/Neji fluff to hold you over for now. Two more chapters until Sasuke and Hinata reunite!

**Akai-sora** has done two more panels, a serious one for Chapter 8 and a funny one for Chapter 9. (chuckles) Check out the link to her _**Ikigai**_ collection in my profile and tell her what you think!

**Disclaimer**: You know the drill.

Enjoy!

**_Ikigai_**

**in Despair**

**Chapter 10**

Hinata heard Neji breathe in sharply and knew he'd been expecting this. Perhaps, on some level, she had been too. Her blood ran cold with the words coming from her father, but she did nothing more than sit quietly and withhold the tears that threatened to fall.

"Nani?" Hanabi whispered in disbelief on her left.

"When?" Neji asked, his voice even and cold.

"He will be arriving in a few days. Since he is traveling quite a distance, the wedding will take place three days after his arrival and Hinata will be making the return journey with him."

The ensuing silence was thick with the tension emanating between the three Hyuugas waiting on Hinata's reaction. Finally she bowed her head slightly. "May I be excused?"

Hiashi nodded before remembering that she couldn't see. "Hai."

Hinata pushed herself up and took a few steps with her hand outstretched to locate the door. Once it slid close behind her all pretense fell.

"How can you do this, Father?" Hanabi demanded. "She's only just getting her life back!"

"The Council's decision was unanimous and I agree that this is in Hinata's best interests."

"How can giving her to a man she doesn't even know be in her best interests," Neji growled. "Being trapped in darkness is not enough, now she is to be sent away from everything and everyone familiar to her?"

"Otoya-san is a wealthy man more than capable of providing for Hinata's special needs. She will have a comfortable life."

"Surrounded by people she doesn't know or trust," Hanabi said. "She has already lost so much, Father. Please don't send her away!"

Hiashi closed his eyes and sighed, for a moment revealing the weight of years before opening his eyes and shuttering his expression again. "Hinata's options are limited now. She can no longer serve the village but at least she can still be a wife."

Neji clenched his fists on his knees, knowing there was nothing that could be done to change his or the Council's mind. Hinata was a burden the Clan didn't want to bear.

"You have met this man?"

Hiashi met Neji's hardened stare and nodded. "I am confident Hinata will be well cared for."

"Can he protect her?"

Silver eyes blinked in surprise. "Otoya-san has a number of hired men at his disposal to keep his estates and himself secure."

"Hired men do not stand a chance against a seasoned shinobi. Orochimaru's death hasn't been confirmed and there's been no news of Kabuto. They may not have abandoned their interest in Hinata."

Hiashi held his gaze with shielded emotion. "I will see to it that Hinata's safety is assured. Do not doubt that, Neji."

Neji's lips pressed into a thin line of displeasure, knowing he would have no part in assuring her safety himself since he was too valuable for the village to part with.

A frantic knock on the door preceded it being slammed open with unexpected force as three matrons stumbled into the room.

"Forgive our intrusion, Hiashi-sama," the spokeswoman bowed quickly, "but the seamstress for Hinata-sama's wedding kimono has arrived to take her measurements and she is nowhere to be found!"

Hanabi clenched her fists in her lap and she shared an irritated glance with Neji.

"Is she not in her room or the garden?" Hiashi asked.

The woman shook her head. "We have searched the whole of the compound!"

"She couldn't have left on her own," Hanabi murmured before looking at Neji again with widening eyes. "Would she?"

Neji was on his feet in an instant. "Search the compound again. You may have simply overlooked her," he said, pushing his way through the tittering women.

Hanabi watched them disperse in a frenzy before meeting her father's shuttered gaze. "I blame you for this," she said and bolted out of the room.

Hiashi dropped his gaze to the now empty floor dampened by Hinata's unnoticed tears. _So do I._

* * *

Neji knelt on a rooftop scanning the area with his Byakugan wondering how Hinata ever managed to walk out of the Hyuuga compound without being seen. If she felt half as angry as he did, she probably ran.

Finding nothing in the immediate area, Neji jumped to another roof, each one taking him further from the compound. It was possible he wasn't even looking in the right direction, but she couldn't have gone far without her sight. He grimaced as thoughts of what could happen to her out in the village alone filtered through his mind. There were any number of things she could run into, literally, not to mention unsavory people who had no qualms about taking advantage of a helpless woman.

Neji tensed his muscles to turn back and start scouring the opposite direction when a familiar voice stilled him.

"Neji-kun!"

He barely had time to turn before a green blur flipped up onto the roof beside him.

"Lee."

"Tenten sent me to find you. Hinata-san, she—."

"Where is she," Neji demanded but Lee didn't even blink at his vehemence.

"We ran into her near the market. She appeared to be very upset so Tenten took her to her apartment."

_Thank Kami._

"Inform my uncle Hinata is safe with me but do not tell him where we are."

"Hai," Lee nodded sharply and they both sprung off in opposite directions. It only took Neji a minute to cross over to Tenten's apartment. Landing quietly on her front step, he knocked twice on the door in warning before letting himself in. Manners aside, sneaking up on Tenten could be seriously detrimental to a man's health. Lee had learned that painful lesson a number of times.

She looked up from the stove briefly before turning back to the tea she was preparing. "She's in my room."

He quickly slipped off his sandals and strode down the short hallway to Tenten's inner sanctum. He'd never had cause to step into her bedroom before and had to pause in the doorway to take in the unexpected transformation.

Tenten's obsession with weapons was no small secret. Her entire apartment was decorated with rare and beautiful pieces of antique weaponry as could be expected of Konoha's Weapons Mistress. She was intimately acquainted with each piece in her collection and only a fool would think them to be mere decorations as she kept them all finely polished and sharpened. He pitied the man who dared to break into _her_ apartment.

But standing in the door of her bedroom, Neji faced a side of Tenten he'd never really considered before. An elegantly carved dresser of honeyed wood occupied one wall with a large vanity mirror attached. The surface remained sparse with the exception of some brushes, ribbons, and an ebony jewelry box.

_Since when does Tenten wear jewelry?_

The remaining furniture was carved of the same wood and the four poster bed was draped over with pristine white bedding embroidered with green vines and pink flowers to match the semi-sheer curtains fluttering in the breeze of the open window. There was not one weapon in sight unless one counted the potential of the glass vase housing a brilliant bouquet of wildflowers on the nightstand beside the bed.

Feeling as if he'd stepped into an alien, distinctly feminine world, Neji crossed silently over to the lump half-buried under the blankets. Hinata's dark hair stood out in stark contrast against the white pillow, her body curled up and facing away from him. He laid a cautious hand on her shoulder, but she didn't react. Leaning over her form, his heart clenched at the tears streaking her face, still falling even in her sleep.

_You deserve better than this._ But it wasn't in his power to give it. He tentatively brushed his fingers through her thickening hair and left her to whatever peace she could find in her dreams, little that it might be.

Tenten was setting the tea tray on the coffee table when he returned to the living room and allowed himself to sink onto the couch, feeling as if the world had been torn out from under him again. She didn't ask what was wrong as she poured the tea and set a cup before him. He would speak when he was ready to. Taking up her own cup, she sat beside him and sipped it slowly, watching from the corner of her eye as he braced his head in his hands like a defeated man and sighed.

Her gut roiled with the instinct that something very bad had happened. For one thing, Hinata wasn't given to hysteric tears nor was she ever seen outside of the compound without an escort. The moment she and Lee stumbled upon the panicked girl, Tenten knew Neji would be hot on her trail. Seeing him now radiating a sense of despair only solidified her suspicions.

"The Council," Neji whispered, "has arranged a marriage for Hinata."

Tenten nearly snorted her tea and quickly set it down. "What? They can't be serious! She only just returned five months ago!"

"They feel marriage is her only remaining option." His voice dripped with disdain and he lifted his eyes to meet hers. "Her betrothed arrives within a few days."

Brown eyes widened. "You mean…they intend for her to marry now? Sweet Kami, she hasn't even met the guy yet!"

Neji snorted and glared at the coffee table. "I doubt that will make any difference."

Tenten shook her head. "No wonder she was so upset. She kept rambling nonsense about not being able to leave, some kind of a promise, waiting for someone…."

Neji's head jerked up. "What?"

Tenten blinked at the intense, wild look in his eyes. "Something about waiting for someone, some promise she made…." Her eyes narrowed sharply. "You know what she meant don't you?"

"It doesn't matter." He looked away and wearily rubbed his face. "She'll be gone within a week."

"There's got to be something we can do. What if we go to Tsunade-sama? Surely she could help us."

"This is a clan matter, Tenten. There's nothing she can do."

"Well, what about her treatments at the hospital? Maybe Tsunade-sama can say she's not healthy enough to leave the village. At least that could buy us some time."

"Time for what? The Council has made its decision and Hiashi-sama agrees. There are no other options left." His uncle's own words tasted bitter in his mouth. The only foreseeable path remaining was to take Hinata and leave the village, but not even Hinata would be willing to commit such a betrayal and he had too many responsibilities and people depending on him to just abandon them.

Tenten stared sullenly down at her tea, wishing there was some idea, some possibility she could pull out of her head to stop this insanity. _Doesn't the Council realize this will hurt her more than help her?_

"Tenten?"

"Yes?"

"Can we stay here, just for a little while?"

Tenten closed her eyes against the tears that threatened to fall at his quiet plea for solace. "Stay as long as you need to, Neji." _Forever if you want. I don't mind._

* * *

Brown eyes opened wearily, flickering over the empty room before closing again with a sigh. She was feeling far too comfortable to get up no matter what time it was, even if she was feeling a little bit squished. Shifting to alleviate some of the pressure against her side, Tenten froze when she heard a disgruntled growl. Cracking her eyes open, she peered down the length of her nose at the source and her cheeks warmed. Pillowed comfortably on her chest was a familiar coffee brown head. Neji's arms were wrapped securely around her as one would hug their pillow, preventing all movement on her part. Rationally, there was no other way for two people to have shared the couch all night, but it was hard to think rationally with his warm, sinuous body covering nearly every inch of hers. If she didn't calm herself soon, the hammering of her heart would surely wake him.

She concentrated on his soft, steady breathing and the comforting scent of rain and trees that she always associated with the man she loved and gradually the nervousness of discovery eased into a rare contentment. _Might as well enjoy this while I can,_ she mused, slipping her fingers into his long, thick hair. _I seriously need to find out what kind of conditioner he uses._

His breathing deepened with the gentle strokes of her fingers along his scalp and he nuzzled her chest like a contented puppy. Tenten squeaked and fought the urge to hide her burning face in his hair. She'd never allowed a man to get this close to her before and never dreamed Neji would be the one to break those boundaries despite how much she hoped he would. Of course, he was entirely unconscious of the fact that he was using her ample chest as a pillow and certainly would never have done so in the first place if he hadn't been over-stressed and influenced by a bit of sake. Neji had never been a drinker, but it helped to ease his nerves on occasion.

Sighing softly when he didn't move again, Tenten pondered how to extract herself from this potentially embarrassing situation without waking him. Not one to concede defeat despite the fact that he had her essentially pinned, Tenten tried to shift some of his weight and wiggle out from under him. He growled at being disturbed and tightened his embrace, stilling her struggle.

_Oh, this is bad._

She waited with baited breath as slits of silver peered out from under long lashes. He stared out over the room for a few seconds before closing his eyes again and relaxing his hold on her slightly. Tenten waited for him to realize where he was and what he was doing, but it appeared he had no intention of moving from his comfortable position at all.

"Um, Neji?"

"Hmm."

Tenten managed to suppress most of the heat in her cheeks. "Um, I could make breakfast if you want."

"In a minute," he murmured.

Brown eyes widened before closing in pain and confusion. _Oh, Neji, don't play with me. My heart can only take so much._

* * *

Neji didn't remember falling asleep on her, but he wasn't going to complain about the current situation and neither was he willing to surrender this rare moment of comfort. On any other day, Tenten would probably slice and dice him for touching her like this. She had a strictly hands-off policy with men. The last guy to get fresh with her became a human pin cushion in less than three seconds. He couldn't really blame the man for trying though. Tenten was wonderfully soft for being all lean muscle and her curves fit rather nicely under him.

Of course, her goodwill would probably end if she knew he'd been awake long before her. The soft, steady beat of her heart had been lulling him back to sleep when she awoke and found him using her for a pillow. At first he thought he would soon be seeking immediate medical attention when her heartbeat suddenly accelerated, but then she calmed down and started combing his hair with her agile fingers. Neji was certain he was in heaven at that point and couldn't help snuggling against his soft, sweet-scented pillow, winning a startled squeak from the unsuspecting woman.

Only years of deeply ingrained self-control kept him from chuckling at her reaction and the corresponding acceleration of her heartbeat. So the tomboyish Tenten wasn't immune to men after all. His old teammate was just full of surprises lately. She obviously had a very distinctive feminine side, judging from the appearance of her bedroom, and she found the intimacy of their position more exciting than infuriating otherwise she would've shoved him off none too gently.

Neji cataloged this information for future investigation when Tenten started trying to wiggle out from under him again. _Stubborn girl,_ he growled, instinctively tightening his hold.

Even once she knew he was awake, she didn't try to push him off and as long as she didn't, he had no intention of moving, although her offer to make breakfast was rather tempting. Tenten was as accomplished with kitchen utensils as she was with weapons, not that she often shared her culinary skills.

His request for a few more minutes of rest left her slightly tense and stiff in his embrace. With an inaudible sigh, he lifted his head and found her eyes shut, a slight crease between her brows as if she were in pain.

"Tenten?"

Her eyes snapped open revealing panic in the mocha depths for half a breath before she shuttered her expression. "You should check on Hinata," she said with a smile that belied the frantic fluttering of her heart. Her smile faltered when his eyes narrowed slightly but after a moment of silent scrutiny, he pushed himself up on his hands and knees. A shiver slipped down her spine in the absence of his warmth and she fought the overwhelming urge to pull him back into her arms.

Neji, being Neji, noticed her reaction and halted his retreat. Her cheeks flushed a becoming shade of pink at the close proximity of his face, kissing distance if he wasn't mistaken. Vaguely he wondered if Tenten had ever been kissed and dismissed the idea as quickly as it formed. Tenten's adamant avoidance of relationships was answer enough to that question. In fact, this was the first time he'd ever seen her get flustered by a man and couldn't help feeling smug that he was the one who managed to crack her untouchable veneer.

Leaning forward, he withheld a smirk when her eyes widened and her breathing quickened. "You said something about breakfast," he murmured a hairs breath from her lips, his silver eyes holding hers captive.

Tenten swallowed. "Yeah," she whispered.

"Good." A small smile twitched his lips and he was gone, leaving her breathless and trembling.

* * *

Neji's good mood faded when he entered Tenten's bedroom to find Hinata now facing the door, her vacant eyes staring at him and through him with a disturbing unfocused quality.

"Hinata-sama?"

She didn't blink and if not for the slight rise and fall of her chest, he would've thought her dead. Sighing softly, he kneeled beside the bed. Laying a gentle hand on her head, he brushed his thumb across her forehead and her eyelids slipped halfway closed.

"Tenten is making breakfast. Are you hungry?"

Her fingers twitched, but she made no other response.

Neji sighed. "Hinata-sama, we cannot stay here forever. Your father and Hanabi will be worried."

She turned her face down into the pillow and he knew she was thinking none of it mattered. If her father and the Council could sell her in marriage to a man she didn't even know without a care for her feelings, why should she extend the same courtesy?

Neji leaned his forehead against the side of the bed and closed his eyes. "I'm sorry I can't protect you from this, Hinata. If there was a way—."

A cool hand brushed against his cheek and tilted his face up. She didn't blame him, he knew that, but it didn't make the defeat shrouding her any easier to bear.

His eyes sharpened with determination. "If there is a way, Hinata, I swear I will find it."

Her hand slipped down his cheek to rest on the bed, but not a word left her lips, nor would one for many days to come.

* * *

**Also** thanks to _**Starfire201, Jay_chAn, oluja, Cat, **_and all my adorable chibi shy shadow readers.


	11. in Konoha

**A/N-** I'm having company tomorrow so I decided to post a day early instead of making you all wait until Saturday. See how considerate I am? Remember that for the next time you get frustrated with a cliffhanger. :-D Okay, on to the chapter you've all been waiting for…well, part one anyway.

Oh, **akai-sora** added three more crack panels to her collection for Chapter 10, so check them out for a laugh.

**Info-** For those unfamiliar with it, Kusanagi (Grass Cutting Sword) is the sword that Orochimaru keeps in his throat. Ironically, the legend speaks of the origin of the sword as having been inside the fourth tail of an eight-headed snake. The name "Orochimaru" means "giant snake" and is from another legend…but that's a whole nother story.

**Disclaimer:** I'm not sure I'm dedicated enough to write a manga as long and as involved as Naruto…and I can only draw stick figures anyway so obviously it's not mine. ;-)

Enjoy!

_**Ikigai**_

**in Konoha**

**Chapter 11**

Nothing had changed, at least not on the outside. The forest remained as old and mysterious as when he'd been a child, guarding its secrets with the ferocity of a dark lover. Not a mark remained of the shinobi war between Leaf, Sand, and Sound all those years ago on the towering walls of stone and granite, but scars seldom lay on the surface anymore. Maybe he expected a giant visible difference because he was different, no longer the angry, vengeance seeking teenager who abandoned all ties of friendship and family for the absolution of one man's death.

The sweeping sense of emptiness following Itachi's death would've swallowed him into a void that knew no forgiveness if not for the memory of soft lavender eyes seeking light in an eternal darkness. There was a time he cursed her existence for the burden and obstacle it'd been, but had he known then that she would become the light in _his_ darkness….

Precious girl: blind, helpless, insignificant to all but him. He would give her the comfort all his wealth could provide and honor befitting the matriarch of the powerful Uchiha Clan. Somehow he knew that wouldn't be quite enough, but at the moment it was all he could give. Eleven years of his life had been dedicated to hatred, anger and death, the path of the Avenger, and only a few months to just being a man. This was going to take as much adjustment on his part as it would for Hinata, though he doubted she would see it that way. How long would it be before she forgave him for his deception? Would she ever?

Standing atop the hill, Sasuke gazed down over the village of his birth for the first time in six years. Anbu had been following him for the last five miles, but since he made no effort to conceal either his chakra or his intended destination, they made no move to confront him.

By now the Hokage would've been informed of his approach and someone would be at the gate awaiting his arrival. One guess as to who that'd be. He had to admit to some surprise that his rival hadn't bolted out to exchange insults and fists by now, so it would seem even Naruto had changed a good deal over the years as well. Did he achieve his dream too? Was that why he stopped chasing after him? Or did Naruto finally realize there was no turning him back until he achieved his revenge?

Shifting his pack on his shoulder, Sasuke strolled down the hill toward the main gate. The force that pulled him forward was welcoming compared to the force that drove him away all those years before. There was no frantic fear or barely leashed insanity clouding his thoughts and his only craving was for Hinata's soft warmth. _Is this what peace feels like?_

He suppressed a smirk when he sighted the orange clad shinobi standing dead center in the wide entrance, arms crossed and foot tapping impatiently.

"Sure took you long enough," Naruto scowled. Sasuke couldn't mistake the double meaning if he tried. He stopped just a few feet from his old friend and rival and took in the miniscule changes with a glance as Naruto did the same. Those bright blue eyes that once only knew mischief were now hardened by time and existence, so much like his own.

"Why are you here, Sasuke?" Naruto demanded.

"To bury my brother's ashes."

Naruto's eyes widened slightly. "When…."

"Two months ago."

The two stared at each other silently, the years and pain that tore them apart slipping into a brutal memory. When Naruto first heard that Sasuke had been sighted making his way towards Konoha at a leisurely pace, he didn't know if he should be excited or worried. The last thing he expected was to see absolute calm and the absence of rage in the obsidian eyes of his old teammate. This wasn't the man who fought him nearly to the death in the past and _that_ made him more nervous than anything because this was a man he wasn't familiar with.

"Is that the only reason you're back?" Naruto finally asked.

Sasuke walked past him, just barely brushing shoulders as he pointedly ignored the question.

"Oi, Sasuke," Naruto growled, turning to follow.

"How is she?"

"Eh?" Naruto blinked.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. _Some things will never change._ "Hinata. How is she?"

His instincts didn't sense the danger in time when Naruto grabbed a fistful of his shirt and yanked him around. Blue eyes shaded red glowered heatedly at him with a snarl revealing one sharp canine.

"I don't know what your game is, Sasuke, but she is not one of your pawns and I'll kill you before I _ever_ let you hurt her!"

Fury flamed and snapped inside, but he squelched it beneath iron control. Naruto was only the first in a long line of opponents he would face. Rising to the bait now wouldn't win him any allies and would only serve to alienate Hinata further. That alone made any offense tolerable.

"She'd be dead if not for me, dobe." He grabbed Naruto's wrist. "Don't think for one minute you can stop me from getting what I want."

Naruto pulled him closer. "And what is that, exactly."

Sasuke smirked. "The favor she promised me."

Naruto snorted and shoved him away. "I swear someone dropped you on your head as a kid."

"You're one to talk," Sasuke scoffed, turning away. They walked for several minutes, pointedly ignoring the stares and whispers they gathered. They'd grown used to such attention all their lives. Of course, it wasn't every day people saw a missing-nin strolling through the village as if he had every right to be there.

Naruto glanced sideways at the silent Uchiha as they headed to the Hokage's tower, trying to make sense of his sudden, not all-together unexpected, appearance and what it meant. After hearing Hinata's account about the requested favor, he knew eventually Sasuke would show his face to collect on it. The man went through far too much trouble to save Hinata's life and bring her back to Konoha to not have _some_ motivation to do so. _I wonder what exactly he has at stake here._

"So why did you help her anyway."

"You tell me," Sasuke shot back.

Naruto grinned and crossed his arms behind his head, watching from the corner of his eye. "_I_ think that even a jerk like _you_ couldn't stand seeing a sweet, pretty girl like Hinata suffer."

The reaction was so slight that Naruto would've missed it if he blinked. Sasuke's lips pulled into a thin line and his eyes almost shifted to meet Naruto's.

"Hn," he grunted finally.

The blonde nearly tripped over his own feet. _Holy Hokage, don't tell me I'm right!_ _No, no way. Sasuke would never go out of his way over something so trivial. Just look at how many times he hurt Sakura. But then, he did spend months taking care of Hinata, just the two of them and that old mute lady. Neji said Hinata still calls out for him in her sleep when she gets scared, so he obviously treated her well enough to earn her trust. There is something seriously screwy going on here._

Blue eyes narrowed thoughtfully before casually looking up at the sky.

"Sakura had healing sessions with her twice a week to work on her optical nerves and chakra pathways, but Tsunade-baachan gave her a less than two percent chance of recovering her sight."

"Hn."

"She seems to be managing okay, but none of us get to see her much. The Hyuugas keep her practically under lock and key." Naruto paused and frowned. "Especially now."

Sasuke tilted his head to look at him, catching the frustration and anger barely hidden beneath the surface. "Why now?"

Shoving his hands into his pockets, Naruto sighed. "She ran away last week."

Sasuke's steps halted. "Ran away? From the compound?"

Naruto shot him a wry smirk lacking amusement. "Nearly made it all the way to the market on her own too."

_Her mind must not be as stable as I thought, _Sasuke mused with disappointment and not a little concern. On the trip to return her to Konoha, she'd been terrified of every sound, every movement in the unknown environment and had fervently clung to him every step of the way. So what could possibly have been so frightening, so horrifying as to drive her away from the familiarity of her family home?

Obsidian eyes narrowed on the blonde shinobi. "Why?"

Naruto shrugged. "I guess she wasn't as thrilled about her arranged marriage as her family thought she'd be."

Sasuke jerked back as if he'd been slapped. _So soon?_ He'd been expecting this to happen eventually which is why he pushed himself to get back to Konoha as soon as possible. The old man Masa had adamantly disapproved when he started training sooner than planned, but Sasuke ignored him and the pain of forcing his still healing body to comply. Each night passed with disturbing dreams of Hinata lost to him in the arms of another man. At first it'd been simply a matter of who got there first, but then his mind started to torture him with the possibility of her falling in love with some gentleman lord and he couldn't bear sitting still anymore. He wanted her, he was going to have her, and no one was getting in the way.

Pulling out of his thoughts, he realized Naruto was studying him suspiciously.

"When," Sasuke demanded.

"When what?"

"Naruto, this is not the time to be obtuse!" Sasuke snapped. "When is the wedding?"

Naruto crossed his arms stubbornly. "And why should you care about that? She's nothing but a favor to you, a means to get the Council's pardon."

His fist shook as he fought the urge to punch the blonde. "She's more than that," he hissed through clenched teeth. Turning on his heal, he stalked away.

Naruto blinked after him for a moment before running to catch up. Sasuke jerked to a halt when the blonde jumped in front of him, expression stormy and threatening.

"Don't get me wrong, Sasuke," Naruto growled. "I'm thrilled to see you home and in one piece for however long that might be, and I _hope_ you found the peace you needed in your revenge, but _this_ isn't about you."

Sasuke felt his Sharingan activate in instinctive response to Naruto's building chakra.

"Hinata's been through enough without you making petty demands. You're not going another step until you tell me what you want with her."

"Naruto," Sasuke growled softly, trying to hold onto his temper in the face of threat. "If you want her to stay in Konoha you will get out of my way because I'm the only one who can make that happen."

Blue eyes narrowed in suspicion. "And how is that, exactly," he demanded.

Crimson eyes shifted back to bottomless black and Sasuke smirked. "You're just going to have to trust me, dobe."

Naruto deliberated for a moment before snorting and relaxing his stance. "Don't think it'll be that easy, chicken head. Whatever you got up your sleeve had better be good because I'm supposed to be _at_ Hinata's wedding in an hour."

All amusement vanished and the former Avenger scowled. "You couldn't have told me this sooner?" he snapped, striding past the blonde at a pace just short of running.

"Forgive my lack of confidence," Naruto muttered, jogging to catch up.

Unheeding of the stares he garnered, Sasuke strode into the tower pass gawking shinobi and civilians alike with Naruto hot on his tail. Few things had changed since he left the village and it almost felt nostalgic stalking down that familiar hallway, only this time he didn't bother to knock before entering the Hokage's office.

Stern amber eyes met his across the spacious room and Sasuke calmly crossed his arms as he met her glare impassively.

"Am I supposed to be happy to see you," Tsunade demanded.

"I honestly don't care one way or the other," Sasuke said.

The buxom blonde leaned back in her chair and smirked. "Arrogant cur. Give me one good reason why I shouldn't execute you."

Sasuke reached behind him to grasp one of the swords sheathed at his back and paused when he felt Naruto's chakra start to build again. Slowly he drew the sword out and took three deliberate steps to lay it on Tsunade's desk before stepping back and crossing his arms again.

Amber eyes glared at him before dropping to the sword. She blinked several times and looked up at him in disbelief. "Is this what I think it is?"

Sasuke nodded once and Tsunade reached out to take the legendary sword in hand.

"Kusanagi," she murmured, inspecting the blade. "I take it this is your confirmation of Orochimaru's death."

"His carcass would've been an unsightly trophy," Sasuke smirked.

Tsunade eyed him as she leaned the sword against her desk, wondering for a split moment if the man before her was nothing but a snake in wolf's clothing. Just as quickly, she dismissed the notion. Orochimaru couldn't hide his creepy nature that well and he would never willingly relinquish his treasured Kusanagi to anyone. Oddly enough, she felt no sense of loss for good or ill with regards to her old teammate, only relief that one more threat against her people no longer existed.

"I suppose this will get you at least life in prison instead of an execution, unless you got something more up your sleeve," she said.

Dark eyes narrowed sharply. "I'm not here to bargain."

"Neither am I," Tsunade snapped. "You severed your ties with this village a long time ago, allied yourself with the enemy and even attempted to kill some of our shinobi." Her eyes flickered to Naruto and then back to Sasuke. "So the real question is what do you want and why should I even _consider_ giving it to you."

Reaching inside his shirt, Sasuke pulled out a scroll and dropped it on the desk. "I want what's mine and you'll give it to me because you don't have a choice."

Tsunade scowled as she swept up the scroll and unraveled it. Dropping her eyes to the scrawling script, her blood froze. If not for the obvious red droplets on the parchment, she would've believed it to be a pathetic joke on the Uchiha's part. But then, Uchiha Sasuke never joked and he never did anything without a reason. Suddenly the confusing events surrounding Hinata's rescue made a whole lot more sense.

"Shizune!"

The dark-haired kunoichi bolted through the door just seconds after Tsunade bellowed and halted short on seeing Sasuke standing casually before her desk.

"Tsunade-sama?"

Scribbling a quick note, Tsunade pressed her seal on the bottom. "I need you to bring Hinata, now."

"But Tsunade-sama, she's in the middle of preparing for her wedding. The ceremony commences soon."

Tsunade handed her the sealed summons. "Then I suggest you run."

Shizune blinked at her in surprise and then down at the missive labeled 'urgent'. "Hai, Tsunade-sama!"

* * *

If she had her way, the women fluttering around her would be her friends and comrades, not the self-important matrons of her Clan. If she had her way, she wouldn't be preparing to wed a man she had never seen in her life despite having spent several days in his company. Apparently this was too much to ask, so she remained as silent and unresponsive as the day Neji took her back to the compound after her reckless escape.

Her betrothed didn't appear to mind her silence, considering her delightfully meek and demure. Otoya-san was not unkind, but he had expectations of a quiet, obedient wife to dote on and bear him sons. From the perspective of others it was a fine match since she would never want for anything but the things a man she didn't love couldn't give. Hinata could see it as nothing more than a cushioned prison where she would fade into the void that threatened to consume her every day she spent in darkness.

She'd known there was never any real chance of recovering her sight and life as a medic, but to have all hope taken away left her hollow and helpless. Otoya's home was far from Konoha, far from the healing touch of Sakura and the healing words of Naruto. To heighten her despair over being parted from her family and friends was a knot of pain sitting low in her chest, a certainty that she had betrayed someone in acquiescing to the Clan's manipulations. This feeling pained her most of all.

She listened absently as the women around her fluttered about how handsome Otoya was and how blessed she was to be taken as his wife and fought the urge to strike out like the cornered animal she felt. Would they still think her so demure and useless if she could break just one of them as much as they kept breaking her with their words?

"So beautiful," a number of them chorused. "Otoya-san will be so pleased!"

Her expression remained neutral under their praise, not caring if they had dressed her in sackcloth and ashes though it would've been far more suitable to how she felt. No one had bothered to even describe the color of her wedding kimono or what manner of ornaments they had placed in the hair that now dusted the nape of her neck.

"Ne, Hinata-sama, you must smile on your wedding day," someone chastised.

She fisted her hands in the long sleeves and held her tongue. Spiteful words danced there, but she had no strength to breathe them life.

With exasperated sighs, the women converged on her again to nitpick at her clothing and jewelry in anticipation of the approaching ceremony. Neji's promise to find a way out of this echoed through her mind as it had done many times since he spoke it and she knew this day would be as painful for him as for her. This was one thing he couldn't protect her from.

A knock sounded on the door and the women all gasped with an excitement she would never feel. Was it time already?

The door slid open and Hinata felt the charge in the air alter instantly. Turning her face towards the familiar presence, she felt his gaze even when she couldn't see it.

"Hinata-sama." Neji's deep voice couldn't mask his agitation from her adept ears. "Hokage-sama has summoned you."

Utter chaos broke loose in the room and confusion settled on Hinata's pale features.

"The ceremony is to begin in a few minutes," someone spoke. "Can this not wait?"

"Hokage-sama is aware of the time and wouldn't have summoned Hinata-sama if it were not urgent to do so." Neji brushed past the women and gently grasp Hinata's arm to help her to her feet. "Hiashi-sama and Otoya-san are already on their way to the tower."

Hinata obediently followed his guidance away from her twittering caretakers and felt nothing but relief if only to be beside him. Looking up in the general direction of his face, she tried to filter the myriads of emotions entangled in his chakra.

"I don't know what it concerns," he admitted once they stepped outside. "But I suspect she wouldn't have interfered with this day if there was no reason to do so." He looked down into her unseeing eyes. "Perhaps there is yet hope, Hinata-sama."

Her free hand clutched at his arm, afraid but needing to believe. The flame in her was not yet extinguished and she cupped it desperately close to her heart if only for a little while longer.

* * *

**Also** thanks to _**Starfire201, Cat, hullo!, oulja, Jay_chAn, hana chan, LilL, tsuki-poums, fanofthisfiction, Blah…, **_and _**tatski kiba loveer **_for all of your lovely reviews. Remember, if you want a question answered, please leave a signed review so I can reply through FF and not bog down chapters with replies.

I see a couple of my chibi shy shadow readers popped up to say hi. Huggles!


	12. in Honor

Disclaimer: I think we've pretty well established that _Naruto_ does not spring from the well of my imagination…but the yummy plotness of Ikigai does.

Enjoy!

_**Ikigai**_

**in Honor**

**Chapter 12**

Otoya Narumi stifled the urge to fidget beneath the strange tension lacing the room. The summons was ill-timed, if not downright infuriating. In about fifteen minutes, he was to be taking the beautiful Hyuuga Hinata as his wife. But instead of congratulating himself on acquiring such a lovely and obedient woman to bear his sons, he was standing in the Hokage's office with two shinobi and the father of his bride.

The blonde he'd seen before, a familiar acquaintance of his bride. The young man made no effort to conceal his opinion about the wedding, so he'd made certain the menace was kept at a distance so as not to dissuade Hinata. The fact that Naruto was here for this odd and untimely summons didn't sit well with him, the second shinobi even less so.

From the moment he walked into the room, those bottomless eyes had been riveted on him, betraying no emotion and yet harboring something ominous and threatening. Even the stoic Hyuuga Hiashi revealed surprise and unease with this man's presence for a split second. To add to the discomfort was the distinct impression that lines had been drawn, himself and Hyuuga on one side, and the two shinobi on the other.

Their tense posture and the veiled hostility they radiated was so alike one would think they were brothers; a strange pairing of twins, lightness and darkness within two separate bodies bearing one intention of heart and mind. But whatever their purpose, he would not stand by and be intimidated by anyone, especially when they dared to interfere with his wedding.

"What is the meaning of this, Hokage-sama," he demanded when no one else bothered to speak.

Amber eyes flickered to him. "This is the man who returned Hinata to us when we thought her lost forever." She gestured to the dark-eyed shinobi who didn't so much as twitch a muscle. "Hinata promised him a favor for saving her life."

Otoya looked the shinobi up and down as he would any man hired to do the grunt work of others. He'd been told a little bit about the ordeal Hinata suffered that led to her current disability and, despite disliking the aura of darkness surrounding the handsome youth, he couldn't help being grateful for the efforts that brought Hinata into his life.

"Such a deed is worthy of a reward, so indeed reward him that we may continue with the ceremony. Hinata and I must depart on the morn."

"Is this guy for real?" Sasuke growled.

"Don't get me started," Naruto murmured back.

Tsunade fought hard to contain her amusement as this was sure to be nothing short of entertaining. When Tenten came to her days ago with a request to stall the upcoming wedding by any means necessary, she could only feel regret that this was one thing beyond her reach. The Hokage couldn't interfere with Clan matters unless they violated the laws of the village. The Hyuuga Clan had every right to arrange a marriage for Hinata and there was nothing she or anyone else could do to stop it…until now.

Admittedly it wasn't the best case scenario she could hope for, but should all go according to the plan formulating in her head, the possibilities would be far more rewarding than anything she could've come up with on her own.

"I'm afraid it's not that simple," Tsunade said, shifting to meet Hiashi's stoic stare. "I do recall summoning Hinata and no one else, yet she appears to be the only one not here."

"Neji is bringing her as we speak."

"I fail to see the necessity of involving my betrothed in this inconsequential matter," Otoya sniffed. "Surely she has suffered enough excitement for one day."

Naruto snorted and crossed his arms. "She's not a porcelain doll, you know. She could outpace your pansy self any day."

"Shut it, Naruto," Tsunade growled in warning and he scowled.

"Whatever."

She turned back to Otoya. "Hinata has taken a blood oath, and since you are not yet bound, it isn't within your rights to resolve it for her."

Otoya's eyes narrowed sharply at her curt tone.

"As her father, it falls on me to settle this matter then," Hiashi said, eyeing the impassive Uchiha. It had taken some time to get used to the idea that it was the Uchiha traitor who had saved his daughter and returned her to Konoha. Benevolence was not a quality the Avenger was known for and this promise he garnered from Hinata troubled his mind to no end. Now that reality was here and yet, strangely enough, he didn't feel as threatened as he expected. Perhaps an entire week of staring into his daughter's lifeless eyes and bearing her deathly silence had chipped away at his certainty that marriage to Otoya was the best and right decision. _How could it be when every night she cries out for __**this**__ man in her sleep?_

He'd always known something more happened between Hinata and the Uchiha in the time they were together than she ever revealed, something that would explain why the young man who fought so hard to leave Konoha and seek his revenge would be willingly standing here now.

"However," he said, "I will not take Hinata's honor from her by doing so."

"Hyuuga-sama." Otoya frowned at him in disapproval. "It is not for her to make such weighty decisions."

A slender brow lifted over silver eyes. "She has done so many times in the past and I for one am not willing to oppose a blood oath. Are you?"

* * *

Sasuke allowed himself the tiniest smirk at the lord's angry and flabbergasted expression. Otoya wasn't a man he would've ever given notice to for he was just one of many men of means, wealthy and intelligent when it came to his area of business, but clearly knowing nothing of the honor and lives of shinobi. He had no cause to hate this man who was as insignificant as dirt on his sandals if not for his insistent claim on Hinata.

Again that niggling fear that Hinata might actually care for this man started churning his gut. He clenched his fists to restrain himself from physically striking down the opposition. Doing so would not aid him in winning the former heiress' favor.

Before Otoya could recover enough to answer the Hyuuga's challenge, the door behind them swung open and everyone turned to see a vision glide through the door on the arm of Hyuuga Neji.

So many months he had waited, dreamt of seeing her again and nothing his mind conjured could have prepared him for this.

Her hair had been cut, framing her pixie face with soft threads of raven hue adorned with a crown of woven flowers. The voluminous layers of her wedding furisode concealed the curves of her small body but his memory hadn't forgotten the feel of her against his hard strength. They'd dressed her in pale lavender with white and pink sakura blossoms edged in silver patterned across it. The effect emphasized her alluring innocence, her eyes standing out from her pale features like soft jewels.

If not for the hard glare of the man beside her, Sasuke wouldn't have been able to resist taking her into his arms and kissing her senseless. The intensity of his emotions startled him, but he maintained indifference and held his place as Neji warily led her into the room, keeping as equal a distance between him and Naruto as he did from Otoya and Hiashi.

* * *

Hinata's free hand clung to the sleeve of her cousin's kimono, frightened and overwhelmed by the charged atmosphere. Neji's agitation exploded into shock and alarm the moment they stepped into the Hokage's office, but he acted on neither emotion as he guided her forward and stopped, his hand covering the one looped through his arm in silent reassurance.

She struggled to identify the clashing auras and felt further relief when she identified Naruto's distinctive chakra signature off to the left. There was another beside him, as volatile as the Kyuubi container himself and tripping the edges of familiarity, but she couldn't clearly identify the electric force.

Some distance before her was the Hokage's calming presence and beside her was her father's. The final one would've escaped her notice if he hadn't spoken for he didn't radiate the active chakra system of a shinobi.

"Hinata-chan," Otoya's warm voice washed over her. "You look beautiful."

Not even knowing he'd be here prepared her to face the man she was to marry in merely a few minutes. Her heart skittered frantically and she released Neji's arm to hide behind him, clutching the back of his kimono with small, trembling hands. He made no move to pull away, instead curving his arm back around her in silent comfort. If only she could burrow into his warmth and disappear!

Smiling at her shy reaction, Otoya turned back to Tsunade. "You see, it isn't well for her to be troubled with this small matter and now that I have seen her before the ceremony, we shall have to reschedule it for tomorrow."

"I don't think so," Sasuke growled, his patience reaching its end. _Hinata is __**mine**__._

Hinata's head snapped up with a sharp intake of breath, her wide eyes blindly searching the room. She _knew_ that voice, the coiled power in velvet darkness that came to her each night in her dreams to chase the demons away. But dare she believe that all these months later he had really come back?

"_Wait for me."_

"H-Haru-kun?"

Sasuke shifted his glare from his rival to meet pale lavender eyes seeking his face in eternal shadows. Pleasure that she recognized his voice so easily after all this time filled him to the brink.

"Hinata," he murmured and her entire face lit up with joy as she swiftly moved to reach for him only to be pulled back by her cousin.

"He is not the man you think he is, Hinata-sama," Neji warned, catching her into the safety of his embrace. Silver eyes clashed with obsidian in a silent war. The Uchiha may have saved Hinata and returned her to them, but he was still one of the most dangerous shinobi alive and not one that could be trusted.

"You didn't tell her?" Sasuke growled and Neji stiffened.

"It was one less burden for her to bear," he retorted, arms tightening around Hinata.

Sasuke glowered. "Better then, than now." He hadn't anticipated being present when Hinata learned his true identity. Now her fear would be fresh and even more of an obstacle than anything her Clan or Otoya could create.

Hinata tugged on Neji's shirt until she sensed his attention turned to her. "Nii-san," she pleaded softly. _Why is everyone so tense? Why are you arguing with Haru-kun? Why won't you let me go to him? What do you mean he isn't who I think he is?_

She felt Neji's chest rise and fall with a sigh and braced herself.

"Hinata." Neji stared down into her wide, fawn eyes. _I wish I could spare you this betrayal_. "The man you know as Haru…is Uchiha Sasuke."

Her face blanched white and Neji tightened his hold when he felt her weaken.

"Uchiha?" Otoya eyed the dark-eyed shinobi. "The Konoha traitor?"

Cold obsidian veered towards him and Otoya raised his chin and glared back in defiance to hide the shudder of unease slithering down his spine. How could one man hold death in his gaze and still claim to be alive?

"Don't speak about what you don't understand," Sasuke warned.

"What I understand is that your appearance has disrupted my wedding and upset my bride," Otoya shot back. "Once I was grateful for your part in helping Hinata, but now I know that you are a man without honor and have only bothered yourself for the sake of a reward. It is beyond me why the Hokage tolerates your presence at all!"

Sasuke took a threatening step forward when Hinata's soft, whispering voice halted him as easily as an army of shinobi.

"Wh-why?" _Why did you save me? _

Leashing his desire to strangle the man before him, Sasuke looked at Hinata and his eyes softened at her distress. "I…don't know," he admitted quietly.

Hinata curled into Neji's embrace, unknowing what to do with the sheer honesty of his reply. Her emotions churned as she tried to make sense of the sudden twist in this reality. Most of what she knew about Uchiha Sasuke could be summed up in but a handful of words. Their paths never crossed as genin and after he left the village, she had known him only through Naruto's determined pursuit and belief that his friend and rival would one day return.

Sasuke betrayed the village by joining himself to Orochimaru…but he was never labeled as the enemy.

"_What is your allegiance?"_

"_To myself."_

He was an Avenger, a merchant of death, but he'd given her life and she believed him when he said he didn't know why. There was no room for mercy or kindness in his heart and yet he'd given her both. Even now knowing his true identity, his voice still had power over her, filling her with comfort as much as fear. She'd spent months in this man's care, sleeping in his embrace each night, trusting him with her life and virtue. The memory of his touches, his _kiss,_ still haunted her dreams. Was all of it a lie?

"Hinata," Tsunade's voice reached out to her, gentle and commanding. "Do you recall signing an oath with the Uchiha in blood?"

"_I'll be back to claim my favor."_

Her blood chilled with understanding. Sasuke wanted his favor, his reward for "sacrificing his precious time" to help her. _I am just a tool to him too._

"One favor," she whispered, "of his choice when he chooses it."

Amber eyes softened as Tsunade took in the strained features of her once-student. _I hate to do this to you now but, _her gaze shifted to Otoya who was watching with obvious displeasure, _I feel this is for the best._

"Were you also aware, Hinata," she continued, "that this oath you signed is in fact one of marriage?"

"What?!" Several voices exploded at once and Tsunade winced. Flipping open the scroll Sasuke gave her earlier, she held it up for the disbelieving eyes.

"What is the meaning of this?" Otoya demanded, snatching the scroll from her hand to stare incredulously at the official document scrawled in ink and blood.

"It would seem, Otoya-san," Tsunade said with barely contained amusement, "that you can't marry Hinata because she is already married to Uchiha Sasuke."

Otoya threw the scroll at Hiashi who caught it with ease and looked it over with surprisingly emotionless eyes.

"You would give me a defiled woman?" Otoya demanded.

"She is not defiled!" Four voices rang as one and Otoya suddenly found himself receiving glares of equal heat in shades of silver, blue, and black.

"Do not speak of my daughter with such insult," Hiashi hissed.

"She is married to another man!"

"Not by her own knowledge," he said, looking over at his daughter. Otoya followed his gaze to see all blood had drained from her face as she clung to her cousin in shock.

His eyes softened and he turned back to the Hokage. "Then this marriage is not binding."

"She sealed with her blood by her own free will before three witnesses," Sasuke said, stepping forward.

"Under deception without a doubt!" Otoya glared. "You took advantage of her blindness for she would never have signed it had she known the truth."

Sasuke mentally winced at the accurate blow. "A blood oath is binding and cannot be broken," he said.

"Except in death," Neji growled. Pushing Hinata aside, he activated his Byakugan. To think, this man who Hinata had trusted so innocently could do something so low, so despicable! _I will not allow you to hurt her!_ Neji moved to attack the equally prepared Uchiha when small hands latched onto his wrist with surprising strength.

"Stop, please!" Hinata cried, her voice straining from lack of use.

Neji quickly gathered her back into his arms, alarmed by her ghostly pallor and increased trembling. She'd grown weaker since learning of her arranged marriage, refusing to eat and seldom leaving her room. It was the only act of defiance left to her, but the stress was finally taking its toll.

"Hinata-sama."

She fisted her hands in his kimono and breathed his forest scent to calm her frantic nerves. The explosion of chakra within the room scalded her heightened senses, but she forced herself to focus beyond it.

"_One favor of my choice when I choose it. It may be in a few weeks or even a few months, maybe even next year. Because of this, I want you to sign a contract ensuring me this favor."_

"_You do not trust my word?"_

"_I don't want others to be able to interfere. I will not ask you to betray your village in any way, but some might not approve of what I ask. You owe me this, Hinata. I have sacrificed precious time to help you."_

"_...Wait for me."_

"Th—," she swallowed hard. "Th-this is your f-favor?"

Sasuke's heart twisted uncomfortably but wouldn't be swayed. "Yes."

Even before he brought her back to Konoha he'd known what he wanted of her. She didn't know if the man who cared for her so patiently and tenderly was any more real than the man she always heard Uchiha Sasuke to be. She didn't know if he would be kind to her and treat her well or even if he meant to take her away from Konoha just as Otoya would've done. The only thing she did know was….

"I-I do not go back on my w-word," she said with the fragile remnants of her pride. "That is my way of the ninja."

Hiashi closed his eyes as Hinata's soft declaration silenced the room, his heart full of pride in her courage and fear of the consequences. Did she realize what sort of man she was giving herself to by agreeing to uphold her oath? No more than the rest of them did. And despite this she refused to go back on her word, refused to accept release through a man's death both Neji and himself would be more than willing to grant.

"Clearly your mind is addled," Otoya said and Hiashi frowned at the man the Hyuuga council had chosen for his daughter. "You are no longer a ninja," Otoya continued. "Nor will you ever be again."

The shattered expression in Hinata's sightless eyes broke every restraint Sasuke had, but a firm hand grasped his shoulder before he could plunge his hand through the man's chest. _No_ one was allowed to break her, no one but him.

Turning to shove Naruto away, he paused at the feral red eyes glowering at Otoya.

"Leave, now," Naruto snarled, elongated canines adding a threatening hiss to his speech. "Because I will never forgive your words!"

Otoya stepped back uneasily as an unearthly red glow surrounded the blonde shinobi and realized for the first time exactly what he was facing. He'd hired shinobi from the Leaf village off and on over the years and had marveled at their efficiency and physical prowess. To marry a daughter of Konoha's most respected shinobi Clan was a great honor and something of a novelty for seldom if ever could one acquire a wife from a shinobi bloodline.

But faced with the raw power of a Konoha jonin and suddenly a novelty wife wasn't altogether worth having. Only death would break the blood binding now that Hinata acknowledged it and no woman was worth fighting men like this for when there were half a dozen more ready to jump at his bidding.

Tilting his head respectfully towards the Hokage, Otoya strode across the room and opened the door. He paused to look once more at the frail beauty that could have been his. Shifting his gaze to meet the Uchiha's dark glare, he smirked despite the defeat he'd been handed.

"What use do I have for a burden anyway?"

Naruto's sharp nails dug into Sasuke's shoulder in an effort to keep them both from going after the man. Sasuke wasn't accustomed to indulging insult from lesser men and apparently even less so on Hinata's behalf. Months ago he couldn't have cared less what anyone said about the little blind kunoichi, but she was _his _little blind kunoichi now. Each one of her stifled sobs felt like someone was stabbing him repeatedly in the chest with a pair of chopsticks because he couldn't protect her from Otoya's cutting words. She should have been healed by the time he returned to claim her, but clearly he underestimated the damage done to her spirit.

She sounded so broken as she clung to Neji's kimono, shaking with the compound trauma heaped upon her in the space of a few hours. With a sudden sharp gasp, Hinata collapsed, forcing Neji down to his knee or risk losing his balance.

"Hinata-sama!"

Tsunade fairly leaped over her desk and crouched beside them, laying a glowing hand on Hinata's forehead as the others in the room watched with unease. With the layers of her furisode spread about her, she looked utterly vulnerable and frail.

"She's only fainted from the stress," Tsunade assured them after a few moments. _Poor child._ "She hasn't been eating much, has she?"

Neji glanced over her shoulder at his uncle's impassive expression before meeting Tsunade's gaze. "She hasn't spoken either since she learned of her arranged marriage," he admitted, "until today."

Tsunade stood and planted a fist on her hip as she glared at Hiashi. "And none of that tipped you off that maybe this just wasn't the best idea, Hyuuga?"

His lips tightened into a thin line at the well deserved reprimand. "You think marriage to the Uchiha is better?"

Amber eyes shifted to Sasuke whose gaze remained riveted on Hinata's still form for a moment longer before lifting to meet hers.

"It's a good match, bloodline-wise," she mused. "Is it safe to assume you intend to remain in Konoha?"

"Will my estate be returned to me?" Sasuke asked.

"I'm sure that can be arranged," She agreed.

"What of his missing-nin status," Hiashi demanded.

"Now _that_ is a problem." The Hokage smirked, cocking her hip and pinning Sasuke down with a stern glare. "Here's the deal, Uchiha. One week house arrest, in which time, if you are seen outside of your home without your assigned guardian, all bets are off. During that week, you will see to it that your home is prepared for the comfort of a lady of Hinata's status and I expect no expense to be spared. After that week is over, Hinata will move into your home _only _if she agrees to. If she needs or wants more time for this adjustment she _will_ have it."

Sasuke's gaze darkened at the possibility of them keeping Hinata from him for any reason, but the need to have her come to him willingly overrode his irritation with the stipulations.

"When your week of house arrest is over," Tsunade continued, "you will spend the next year accepting any and every mission given to you regardless of rank and without complaint. If at any time you step outside of the village walls without the accompaniment of your guardian during this time, your estates will be confiscated and your citizenship _permanently_ annulled."

Dark brows drew together into a scowl at the threat, knowing it was not idle. "And after the first year?"

Tsunade smirked. "We'll jump that bridge when we get to it. Play your cards right and you might make Anbu inside three years." Her smirk faded into a glower that could peal the flesh from the bones of lesser men. "But if I _ever_ find out you mistreated Hinata in any way, I will surrender your fate to the Hyuuga Clan. Is that clear?"

He didn't need to look to feel the promise of death in silver eyes nor did he have any intention of offering words of reassurance. Let them think what they wanted. Only Hinata mattered now.

"Who is this guardian you keep talking about," he demanded.

Tsunade smirked again and he decided that her amusement was never a good thing. Her sparkling gaze shifted to the grinning blonde beside him who thumped him heartily on the back, making him stumble forward.

"Boy do I have plans for you," Naruto grinned cheekily.

* * *

**A/N-** And before anyone jumps all over it, "on the morn" means "in the morning". It is not misspelled. Sorry to ruin your excitement about finding a spelling mistake! ;-)

**ww-** Thanks for reviewing every chapter. That was cool. As regarding your last review:

"I wonder why Hinata and her friends were willing to let the marriage happen. She was obviously not happy with it, and she's old enough to leave home, so one would assume that she could just leave and live with one of her friends."

A lot of people have wondered about that and the answer is very simple. To start with, she is the daughter of a traditional family living in a feudal society, so she is subject to her father's law. She is also emotionally exhausted. She's been fighting so hard against her own helplessness and then her own clan decides to abandon her. Have you ever had your world completely stripped and spun around, rendering you completely helpless and having to start anew? Then imagine that just when it seems you are finding your way, someone rips it right out of your hands again. That is what Hinata is experiencing and since she is not a naturally defiant person, it would be unrealistic to expect her to fight so far past her limits. After all, emotional battles are far more trying than physical ones. Anyone who has experienced a disability or long-term illness can vouch for that.

**Also **thanks to _**Starfire201, oluja, Oi, Ingrid, Rnda, kunthea, Jay_chAn, LilL, aotenshi, **_and _**Blah… **_for your lovely reviews.

Remember: signed reviews are answered, unsigned reviews are stuffed into my pillow to fuel my dreams, and chibi shy shadow readers are cuddled. _**All**_ are loved. :-)


	13. in Faith

**A/N-** Please remember that the Naruto world is set in a feudal society. The feminist movement hasn't occurred. ;-) Also, if you are familiar with my writing, you know I do not write smut in any shape or form. However there will be references regarding adult emotions and activities (Sasuke did marry Hinata to get kids after all), thus the T rating. And for all of you new readers, I update every other Friday and occasionally Thursday if I'm going to be too busy on Friday to update. With that all said, on to the story.

Oh yes, I forgot to mention this. **Akai-sora** did some more humorous panel work so check out the link in my profile.

**Disclaimer: **Alas, _Naruto_ does not rest in my possession…nor does much else for that matter.

Enjoy!

_**Ikigai**_

**in Faith**

**Chapter 13**

"Are you sure you want to do this," Neji asked, eyeing the foyer of the Uchiha's house. "You can wait another week or two." _Or fifty. Just say the word and we'll leave right now._

Hinata clutched his sleeve as if the walls of the unfamiliar house were closing in to swallow her whole. The silence of this place was foreboding and yet Neji's tempting offer couldn't sway her decision. The last seven days since learning of her very real and very binding marriage to Uchiha Sasuke had been a cold nightmare.

Less than an hour after recovering from her faint, the Hyuuga council demanded her presence and proceeded to interrogate her mercilessly as to how she could have disgraced herself and the Clan. Her father put a swift end to her suffering but the message had been loud and clear. The burden had become a disgrace and would no longer be tolerated. Whispers followed her everywhere, uncaring if she heard or not. Despite Neji and Hanabi's steady reassurance, her home lost all bit of warmth it ever retained. The day she discovered her herb garden had been dug up and replaced with large blossoming flowers she knew she could no longer stay. The Hyuuga didn't want her, but Uchiha Sasuke did.

"I-I'll be alright," she said with more confidence than she felt. She couldn't allow Neji to see how terrified she was to be left alone with Sasuke because it was an inevitable eventuality. He was her husband now, had been since they left the village where he tended her back from the edge of death. She was subject to his will regardless of the Hokage's stipulations. Should she prove to be resistant, she knew Sasuke would come for her and nothing good could come from angering him.

She stiffened when she heard footsteps approaching and instinctively leaned closer to her cousin.

"Well, you're all set, Hinata-chan." Naruto's warm voice washed over her and she relaxed slightly.

"Arigato, Naruto-kun," she said. His support and help in moving her few belongings to her new home bolstered her wavering courage.

Neji squeezed her arm gently. "If you need anything…."

"Hai, arigato, nii-san."

"I'll meet you here in the morning, Sasuke." Naruto grinned at the silent Uchiha. "Tsunade-baachan has your first mission ready and it's a doozey."

Sasuke grimaced. "Ah."

Naruto smirked and gripped Neji's shoulder, knowing the man was considering bolting out the door with his cousin in hand rather than leaving her at Sasuke's mercy. He would've worried too, if not for having the previous week to witness firsthand the effect Hinata's existence had on the stoic Uchiha.

Sasuke had selected one of the smaller dwellings in the sprawling Uchiha district to move into knowing Hinata would be overly sensitive to the desolate aura of the Main House where his parents had been slaughtered, but he only admitted this to Naruto after a violent spar that left them both in need of Sakura's attention. The rosette medic had inflicted a few more injuries on both of them in retribution for not informing her sooner of Sasuke's return before hugging the poor man to near unconsciousness.

The smaller compound had a more basic layout so that Hinata wouldn't get lost within her own home. Sasuke also removed all unnecessary furniture that could become a walking hazard to the blind kunoichi and arranged the kitchen in a more simplistic format, common items within easy reach on the lowest shelves in consideration of her shorter height.

His genuine efforts to provide an easy and safe life for her were all the assurance Naruto needed to know that Hinata would be cared for just as well if not better than if she had married Otoya. At least Sasuke could protect her from more than just inanimate objects.

The only thing Sasuke adamantly refused to admit to was having any actual feelings for the former heiress. When pestered about why he deceived her into marriage, he simply said, "I need to restore my clan and her bloodline is strong." That, of course, led to another violent spar that again landed them both in the hospital much to Sakura's exasperation.

Sasuke gave himself away with a very specific provision for his bride three days later when he allowed Shino and Hanabi to take over his inner courtyard.

Naruto mentally grinned as he squeezed Neji's shoulder. Maybe Sasuke would never admit it verbally, but his actions spoke loud and clear that Hyuuga Hinata had found a place in that stone cold heart of his.

"Come on, Neji," Naruto said. "It's time to go."

Neji glared at Sasuke for a moment before pulling Hinata towards him and kissing her on the forehead. "I'll see you tomorrow," he promised.

Hinata nodded and fought the urge to reach for him when he pulled away. She flinched when the door closed with a resounding sense of finality echoing through her dark prison. Her heart pounded loudly in her own ears, drowning out the silent steps of another, and she shrieked when a hand touched her shoulder.

Sasuke jerked back and cursed himself for being ten times a fool as a look of sheer terror swept across her face. "I didn't mean to startle you."

Her wide eyes sought the direction of his voice and she took another step back before stopping. She had given her word. He was her husband and she came to him willingly. There was no retreating for her now. His word was law and if he wanted to touch her….

Sasuke watched her small hands fist in her kimono as she fought the need to run. Was it him or the unfamiliar that terrified her so? Every new place, every new situation must be filled with unseen horrors and no one could protect her this time. He was as much the enemy as the darkness. She had no cause to trust him, but he needed her to. He wanted her to.

Deliberately scuffing his steps so she could hear his approach, he closed the gap between them. Hinata bit her lip and bowed her head submissively. Her whole body shook with the effort to stand her ground, oblivious to the respect glowing in obsidian eyes.

_Brave little thing,_ Sasuke mused with a small smile. Grown men had wet themselves when faced with him and yet this petite little woman refused to back down from either her oath or her fear. Others were too quick to label her weak. Hyuuga Hinata, no, _Uchiha _Hinata was strong of spirit and will. Two years trapped within a genjutsu failed to break her, but if he wasn't cautious, he might succeed where others failed.

Slowly, so as not to startle her, he laid his hand on the curve of her shoulder and felt her tremble like grass in the wind.

"Don't be afraid," he whispered, trailing his hand down the length of her arm to grasp her slender fingers. Taking a step back, he tugged gently and she hesitantly followed. It would only take one swift jerk to pull her into his embrace and drown in her herbal scent as he'd been longing to do for months, but he continued to move back drawing her further into the house. _One step at a time._

When he stopped, she tensed again and a smile quirked his lips. The woman was ridiculously adorable when her pearlescent eyes swallowed her pixie features in fear and it just made him want to hold her even more. Of course, _that_ would be exactly what she was afraid of. Instead, he placed her hand on the frame of the doorway beside them.

"When you enter the house this is the first door on your right, the receiving room."

Lavender eyes blinked in startled confusion. The last thing she expected when finally left alone with her husband, regardless of who he turned out to be, was to be given a tour of the house. She was inexperienced but not oblivious to the needs and desires of men. Surely Sasuke was just as eager to take her to bed as Otoya had been, so what was he waiting for?

The warmth of his larger hand holding hers against the doorframe calmed her in sharp contrast to his unknown intentions. Standing close enough to smell the sharp electric scent of raw power tempted her to bury her face in the hard planes of his chest and just let him hold her like he did when she knew him only as Haru. Back then she'd trusted him implicitly, never once fearing he would take advantage or hurt her. He'd been gentle and kind, if a little gruff and demanding. Was that really the man she unwittingly married, or was it only a façade to deceive her into marriage?

The Uchiha Sasuke she knew by rumor and reputation was a man who took what he wanted when he wanted regardless of who stood in his way. He was focused and determined, lethal and cold of heart. He had two goals in life: to kill his murderous brother and to restore the Uchiha Clan. The first must have been accomplished or he wouldn't be here now and she was the integral key to achieving the second.

_Perhaps he means to calm me by showing me around before taking me to bed tonight,_ she mused. Welcoming any distraction to ease her fears, if only for a little while, Hinata laid her other hand on the doorframe.

"Show me," she whispered.

* * *

He'd seen men temporarily blinded in battle stumble about erratically and panicked by the loss of such an indispensable sense. With the permanence of her disability, Hinata was grace incarnate. Each room they passed through received the same finite attention to detail. First she measured each wall with her steps to form a picture of the dimensions in her mind. If she encountered furniture in this initial process, she paused to delicately run her hands over it, tracing patterns and nicks unseen to most eyes. Once she identified the object, she would ask him to describe it to her; color, size, design, whatever he could see that she couldn't. After establishing the perimeter, she would return to the doorway and ask him to describe the room in its entirety, including placement of all the furniture. Once he did so with as much detail as he could muster, she would attempt to locate the rest of furniture using only the map she created in her mind. This led to a few stubbed toes and bruised knees when she miscalculated distance, but not a complaint left her lip as she familiarized herself with his home.

Watching her slender hands smooth over the furniture and walls of his home with inquisitive care unleashed vivid images of her learning him the same way. Sasuke never thought he could be jealous of an inanimate object, but for all intents and purposes, he was ready to demolish the loveseat as he watched her hand slide over the soft suede, a small smile of pleasure at its texture curving her pale pink lips.

Everything in the house, from the end tables to the kitchen cabinets, had received the same loving caresses…except for him. Slowly and surely, the innocently oblivious woman was unraveling his iron-clad control and only the absolute certainty that curiosity could quickly turn to fear kept his startling desire leashed.

_I'll have her in my arms soon enough,_ he assured himself as he silently watched her. The benefit of having a blind bride was that he could look at her all he wanted without her being aware, although surely she could sense the heat of his gaze to some point since a faint dusting of pink refused to fade from her cheeks.

The kimono she wore was simple and appealing, if a little worn, with considerably less layers than her wedding furisode to hide her full curves. As he suspected in the weeks just after he found her, the proper nutrition and care had filled her out nicely. Hinata was still petite in form, but she was undeniably a woman. There was more life in her face now that she had something to occupy her attention and he regretted not being able to come for her sooner. While she found the will to overcome the physical weakness caused by her ordeal, her Clan obviously didn't provide much healing for her mind.

Just from watching her now, Sasuke learned a few things about his wife that he hadn't pondered much before.

Hinata was extremely intelligent for one. Logically she had to be to have been a medic and apparently a very successful one at that. A mind like hers needed to be kept active and challenged and he doubted such means had been provided for her. The loss of her sight not only ended her profession but severed her link to acquiring further knowledge as well.

"_You are no longer a ninja nor will you ever be again."_

Those words had burned her as fire never could. Without even trying, Otoya had ripped her heart out with the naked truth and he could still hear her broken sobs these seven days later. Even Otoya had seen her as a burden and Sasuke had no doubt that Hinata whole heartedly believed she was. That man had done more damage to Hinata's spirit, whether knowingly or not, than Kabuto had been able to do in two years.

Naruto told him how hard Hinata worked to regain her strength, pushing herself through painful sessions of physical therapy just so she could stand on her own two feet and depend just a little less on others. Neji and Kiba had worked with her on developing her other senses to compensate for her eyes and she had become moderately independent in her daily routine. The arranged marriage destroyed all of that, reducing her to a pathetically meek woman capable of doing nothing more than producing heirs for her lord.

Sasuke fisted his hand until his knuckles turned white. One punch was all he wanted, to shatter the man's face as much as he shattered Hinata with his spiteful words. Did that make him a hypocrite? Once he'd thought her nothing but a burden as well, an obstacle in the path of his revenge. She'd been a means to an end but somehow became so much more.

It would've been peaceful to die beside the man he once idolized and later despised, his thirst for revenge sated and the voices of the past silenced; but the memory of pleading lavender eyes had been stronger, made _him_ stronger, than death.

_Something worth living for._

"Hinata."

Sightless lavender eyes turned toward him warily.

"Come here."

She hesitated for a moment, his command sending anxiety flittering along her spine again. _Is it time now?_ Inborn instinct told her to retreat from what she feared, but years of stubborn will born from shinobi experience told her fears must be met or she would forever be running.

Sasuke had been surprisingly patient, introducing her to his home with great detail in an effort to make her feel more at ease in his presence. It was more than she had the right to ask for and she couldn't repay his consideration by refusing him now.

She took a few uncertain steps in the direction of his voice and halted, a small frown creasing her brow. In the time it took her to overcome her indecision, Sasuke hadn't made another sound and she wasn't entirely certain of his exact position. She could feel him watching her, waiting for her to comply. Hopefully he wouldn't take her faltering as defiance. If he became angry with her, there was nothing she could do to defend herself.

A small trembling hand stretched out seeking something solid to guide her and was met halfway with the strong calloused warmth of another. Sasuke's fingers curled around hers and tugged her forward, guiding her once more through the darkness. She heard a door slide open and a cool breeze washed over her in greeting.

"This central courtyard can only be reached from these interior rooms." Sasuke led her out onto the porch. "Step."

Hinata paused to search out the edge of the porch with her foot before stepping down onto the grass, grateful for Sasuke's warning. More than once she'd stumbled on uneven ground since she started walking again and ended up with a face full of dirt. The humiliation hurt far more than skinned up hands and knees.

She once promised herself that when Haru, ano, Sasuke came for his favor, she would prove to him that his efforts weren't wasted, that she could be just as strong now as she'd ever been before she lost her sight. When the Clan arranged her marriage and all but said she had no hope of ever being anything more than a decorative wife, she lost the will to fight.

Soon enough Sasuke was going to see what a mistake it was to keep her and he would…he would….

A very distinctive scent cut off her distressing thoughts.

"Ano, is that Eucalyptus?"

The corners of Sasuke's lips curved slightly as Hinata's uncertainty turned back into curiosity. Dropping down to his knees he pulled her down beside him in the grass. Hinata sniffed delicately before reaching in the direction of the scent and brushed her fingers over the healing plant. Mingled with the Eucalyptus were the scents of Lavender and Tea Tree and multiple other plants that struck a sound note of familiarity in her memory.

Brushing her hands through the grass to find the edge of the dirt bed, her fingers curled around a small post carved in the shape of a ladybug. Abandoning the post, she searched out for another one and found it to be exactly where she expected it to be with the corresponding plants.

"These are Shino-kun's."

"Hai."

Hinata looked up towards his face. "How? I-I thought the garden was…replaced."

Sasuke looked down at the small beginnings of the herb garden now adorning the center of the courtyard. It'd been no small surprise when Shino and Hanabi showed up at his door with boxes full of plants. He just stared at them for a few minutes with veiled bewilderment before Hanabi finally rolled her eyes and demanded he show them where they could plant Hinata's herb garden.

_Cheeky little brat._

He had no words for the bug user and Shino was equally uninterested in speaking with him as he and Hanabi dug up the center of his inner courtyard and planted the unexpectedly pleasant smelling herbs. Hanabi, on the other hand, was a veritable chatterbox: annoying but informative. By the time Shino finished with the garden, Sasuke knew beyond a doubt it wasn't a mistake tricking Hinata into marriage.

Despite the efforts of the Hyuuga clan to obliterate her spirit, Hinata stubbornly refused to submit to her disability and give up on the things that she loved. Timid and shy she may be, but fire and steel lay beneath the surface of those soft blushes. Hinata was by no means ready to give up on her hopes and dreams.

"I know," he finally said, not caring to get into details. Hanabi told him the Clan matrons ripped out Hinata's original garden and replaced it with gaudy blossoms only two days after his return to Konoha. The fools were so eager to be rid of her no wonder she came to him so willingly despite her fears.

Hinata fingered a plant absently, puzzled and overwhelmed by his actions. Sasuke wasn't behaving at all the way she expected him to. He was being considerate and kind and thoughtful, in all ways opposite of the ruthless shinobi he truly was. Within the space of a few hours, he had done more to make her feel comfortable and wanted than her own Clan had done in the last six months. Tears prickled at her eyes.

"A-arigato, Sasuke-kun."

Sasuke closed his eyes and savored the sound of his name, his _real_ name, on her lips. Hinata managed to make it sound sinful without even trying. She was still afraid, still uncertain and it was going to take a good deal more than a little garden to regain her trust, but it was a start.

"This is your home now, Hinata. Do as you wish with it."

She withdrew her hand to poke her fingers together in a well-practiced habit. "D-Demo, I don't want to b-be a bother."

"You're not a bother, Hinata. You're my wife."

Her fidgeting halted. _Wife. I'm a wife now. I have a…place of honor. Could it be he wants me to be happy here?_

Sightless eyes shifted back and forth as if searching for the right words or motivation and Sasuke watched with interest as she deliberated in her mind. _What is it like in that pretty little head of hers?_

"Ah," she started poking her fingers again. "Th-there is…one thing…."

Sasuke raised a brow and waited for her to continue, but she seemed incapable as a soft blush started spreading across her cheeks.

"Tell me," he prodded.

"Ano, they, the Clan, that is, ano, there were some th-things that I used." She hesitantly reached out to finger a plant and he easily filled in the blanks.

"We'll make a list and I'll take you out tomorrow to get whatever supplies you need."

She turned towards him in surprise and a small, shy smile curved her lips. "Arigato," she whispered.

He shifted uncomfortably. It'd been a very long time since anyone thanked him for anything and he hadn't really done much in this instance other than refrain from kicking Shino and Hanabi off his property. It wouldn't due for anyone to think he was getting soft and, well, _nice_. Itachi and Orochimaru aside, he still had a lot of enemies…_and any one of them could target Hinata to get to me now. In her condition, she wouldn't be able to put up much of a fight. I better talk to Sakura about what's being done with her therapy and these eye treatments Naruto mentioned._

"I'll be busy with missions, but there's no reason for you to be idle," he said gruffly.

Instead of withdrawing from his curt tone, Hinata's smile brightened. A terse Sasuke was one she could accept, was familiar with and knew to be honest and real.

"Hai," she agreed.

Sasuke blinked at her smile and felt one tug at his lips before he shook his head and scowled. _Definitely getting soft._

"It's getting late," he said. She bit down a small squeak of surprise when he grasped her arm, but didn't resist the pull of his firm hold. Although she couldn't see the change in light, she could feel the cooling temperatures that signaled the approaching night. How long had it been since she crossed the threshold into her new home? The stress of the day was already pressing down on her, but with the onset of night came the one thing she'd been avoiding thinking about.

Sasuke led her back into the house, through hallways that she was semi-acquainted with, and up a flight of steps to the second floor, the family's quarters. She trailed her hand along the nearest wall until Sasuke stopped at the third door and slid it open. His hand skimmed down the length of her arm to grasp her hand before leading her into the room.

Suddenly he released her and stepped away. A pang of fear ripped through her and she blindly reached after him to find nothing but air.

"S-Sasuke-kun?"

He glanced over his shoulder at her panicked squeak and blinked at her stricken expression, her small hand grasping for something tangible in her dark world. Swearing under his breath, he quickly turned back and caught her searching hand. Immediate relief swept over her face and she clutched at his hand with both of hers as if he were the only thing holding her to the land of the living.

"You…you can't just…." She faded off with a whimper.

_This terror…just like when I left her in the forest for the others to find._ Sasuke gently cupped her face with his free hand and brushed his thumb over the smooth curve of her cheek.

"Hinata, I'm not going anywhere," he softly assured her.

Her lavender eyes drooped slightly. "I-I know, I…."

Sasuke sighed. "Enough."

She meeped softly and dropped her vacant stare at the reprimand, humiliation burning her cheeks. _Even he thinks I'm weak and useless._

"This is not the way of a ninja or was Otoya right about you after all?"

Anger surged through her with startling intensity at the cutting words, words she was used to hearing from everyone except him. Jerking back several steps, she fixed a glare in the general direction of his voice.

"Th-that isn't true!"

Sasuke smirked at the indignant fire flickering in her pearlescent eyes. "We'll see."

Hinata blinked at his noncommittal reply. _We'll see? What does he mean?_ This time she could distinctly hear him moving across the room and realized he was scuffing his steps on purpose. Despite his harsh words against her fear, he still sought to comfort her with the sound of movement. _This is not the way of a ninja. Does he think I'm still capable of…no. Even I know it's impossible without my sight, but I think…I think he expects me to be strong of mind if I cannot be of body. _

She tilted her head slightly when she heard him open another door and rummage through some things. _He of all people knows what was done to me. For a time, I didn't know reality from dreams. Even months later there were still days…. And yet, knowing this, having seen me like that…he still wants me._

When she heard him return, she blanked out her expression, hiding all her confusion, frustration, and uncertainty for the first time in many months. This man had seen her balanced on the rim of death, struggling to exist in the weakest state a person could ever experience and survive. Before anyone else, beyond anyone else, he had seen strength in her even she forgot existed. Uchiha Sasuke, a man who exceeded legends, thought she was strong if even just a little bit.

_Then I will be strong._

Soon he stood close enough that she could feel the power of his inactive chakra dancing across her skin. Calloused fingers closed around her wrist and he pressed soft cloth into her hand.

"The door on the wall to your left leads to the master bathroom. The top drawer under the vanity contains all of your necessities. Go."

The gentle nudge against the small of her back, like his order, was firm and left no room for question or refusal. She followed the direction he pointed her in until her outstretched hand grazed the wall. The door was where he said it would be and she entered the bathroom and closed the door behind her. Out of habit, she flicked the lock though she knew if Sasuke had any intention of barging in, he'd have no trouble getting past a simple little lock. But something so underhanded and, well, lecherous, was beneath a man like him.

She hoped.

She took a moment to familiarize herself with the dimensions of the large bathroom, finding it surprisingly bare of the usual trappings and paraphernalia most people kept on the counters or the floor. Obviously Sasuke had taken great care to rid unnecessary obstacles from her path not only here but throughout the entire house. While others sought only to treat her as the invalid she was, he'd gone out of his way to limit her dependence on him. She would be able to move about the house with great ease once she became more familiar with it. He even promised to provide her with the means to continue her medicinal hobby, professing a desire for her to be occupied with meaningful pursuits.

_Could it be possible he sees me as more than just a means to restore his clan?_

Frowning at this dangerously appealing thought, Hinata found the top drawer of the vanity and pulled out her soap, easily identifiable by the kanji gouged into the bottle. Setting the clothes in her hand aside, she quickly set about washing her face and brushing her teeth and hair for bed. Finding comfort in the routine, she donned the familiar pajamas and buttoned up the front as far as it would go. Being fully covered lent her enough courage to rejoin Sasuke, knowing what must await her. Technically, this was her wedding night, or the closest approximation since she never really _had_ a wedding.

She could still feel his presence, but since he didn't give her the opportunity to learn the room, she couldn't be sure exactly where he was or what manner of furniture might lay in her path so she stopped just a few steps into the room. The weight of his gaze wore heavily on her nerves, but she curled her fists against her chest to fight the urge to fidget. He seemed to be studying her, but what could he be waiting for? They were alone, together, and by law she belonged to him in every way. There was nothing preventing him from claiming his marital dues. This was what he wanted from her in the first place, wasn't it? To continue the Uchiha bloodline?

Not all of her willpower could prevent her from flinching when he approached, but he merely walked past her without comment and entered the bathroom, closing the door softly behind him. Left alone in the room, she stood frozen until she heard the soft rush of falling water. Tension eased out of her shoulders. He was taking a shower and would be occupied for several minutes. Why wasn't he as eager as other men to take her to bed?

Sighing out her relief, Hinata took the opportunity to learn the room and found it to be a bedroom, just as she first suspected. There was a closet full of clothes and a nightstand on each side of the large bed, nothing more, nothing less. Like her own bed, this one was layered with silken sheets and feather soft blankets over an even softer mattress. It felt sinfully decadent and Hinata knew she would be quickly spoiled with such luxury but eagerly crawled into the nest of comfy fabrics without hesitation. Sinking her face into the plush pillow, she breathed deeply. The bedding was still fresh and unused, new in all likely-hood. The unexpected comfort unraveled her frayed nerves and soon sleep tugged at her senses. Little by little her body started to shut down for the welcome reprieve from consciousness until instinct shot her to full alertness at the unmistakable sound of a door opening.

She struggled to remember where she was and identify the threat until a familiar electric tingling tease her heightened senses. Caught between relief and anxiety, Hinata curled her fingers into the blankets and laid as still as possible feigning sleep as she tried to track Sasuke's movements. His steps were silent again, either unconsciously out of inherent stealth or consciously to not disturb her. She held her breath when the bed dipped with his weight.

Sasuke rolled onto his side and stared with faint amusement at the petite woman curled up and trying to feign sleep. She really was such a brave little thing. He'd expected her to refute his claim or at least refuse to join him at the estate since Tsunade gave her that option. His sudden appearance and the revelation of his real identity and intentions couldn't have been kind on her and he had no doubt she now questioned everything she remembered of him before she knew him to be Uchiha Sasuke.

And yet here she was; in his home, in his bed. For some reason, Hinata had forgiven his deception and granted him a chance to regain her trust. Only a fool would mistreat such a gift and Uchiha Sasuke was no such fool.

But neither was he a man of unlimited restraint and lying within reach was the woman who haunted his dreams for the last six months. He'd been longing for this moment too long to let it pass now. Lying perfectly still, Sasuke waited for the tension to leak out of Hinata's body before he slipped an arm around her waist and pulled her snuggly against his chest.

Hinata stiffened and he quickly slipped his other arm under her to firmly wrap her up in his embrace. As soon as the shock wore off, she started to squirm in panic, one small hand tugging futilely at his arm.

"L-let go!" She squeaked.

Sighing softly, Sasuke tightened his hold until he was nearly squeezing the breath out of her and she finally stopped struggling for lack of the ability to. Her short panting breaths echoed throughout the dark room with near inaudible whimpers stabbing him repeatedly in the chest. He could feel her heart flutteringly madly like a trapped butterfly and he eased his hold slightly in hopes that she would calm down. It took several minutes for her breathing to even out, but a distinctive sniff told him what he couldn't see or feel.

_Perfect, you moron. You made her cry._

She stiffened even more when he shifted his hold until he was hugging her around the waist instead of trapping her arms. The position was more comfortable for both of them and less restrictive. Pressing his face into her hair, Sasuke breathed deeply of her soft fragrance and sighed contentedly. Another quiet sniff broke him from his reverie.

"Hinata," he murmured and she shivered when his warm breath caressed the back of her neck. "When have I ever hurt you?"

Her breath hitched at the gentle question. There was but one answer. For months now she'd longed to hear the deep cadences of his voice and bury herself in the sharp scent of raw power that belonged only to him, her savior. It was his arms that held her in her dreams, protecting her from the demons she couldn't escape. When no one else knew she was even alive, Uchiha Sasuke found her and helped her when he had no real cause to do so. He fed her, held her, comforted her and even brought her home. There were many times he could've walked away and she never would've known, being lost to illusions for so long, but he stayed. And what was more…he came back.

Emotionally drained, Hinata went limp in his arms, no longer caring what he wished to do. She owed him her life, and yet having that he never proved himself to be less than honorable. When she knew nothing more than the sound of his voice and an innocuous name, she'd trusted him. Would it break her to do so now that she could put a face to his name?

Elation swelled within Sasuke when he felt her finally relax. Be it out of exhaustion or genuine trust, he would take whatever he could get. Squeezing her once, he nuzzled his face into the crook of her neck and placed a soft kiss on her milky skin, smirking when she started.

"Sleep, Hinata." _I'll take care of you now._

* * *

**Also **thanks to _**Starfire201, Jay_chAn, wheeee, MDZ **__(welcome to the light!), __**oluja, hana chan, ww, Blah, who knows, **_and _**meep!**_ for your lovely reviews.

*waves at chibi shy shadow readers* Don't stay strangers!


	14. in Peace

**A/N-** Apologies for taking longer than usual to respond to everyone's reviews. Life got a little insane there for a spell. So no more chatter. Here is a nice looooong chapter to keep you cozy. :-D I was extremely tired when I edited, so apologies for any mistakes.

**Disclaimer:** If _Naruto _belonged to me…I wouldn't be writing fanfiction. Come to think of it, I like it better this way!

Enjoy!

**_Ikigai_**

**in Peace**

**Chapter 14**

Waking up to the scent of lavender and herbs permeating his senses was the finest start to a morning Sasuke could imagine ever having. The whispered sigh of the woman beside him when he hugged her closer made it even better. The sun had yet to show itself, but as much as he wanted to linger and savor his kunoichi's warmth, Sasuke knew the blonde nuisance would be pounding on his door soon.

With a reluctant grunt, he carefully uncurled from around Hinata's small body and slid out of bed. He dressed quickly and secured his weapons before returning to the bed to study her serene expression. Never would he admit it, but he'd been undeniably nervous about her arrival the day before. After pacing the entire length of the compound, he meticulously checked and rechecked that everything was in order, all furniture positioned perfectly and no sharp edges for her to walk into. Then he did it again and again, until he heard the tell-tale pounding of one Uzumaki Naruto signaling the arrival of her belongings.

One box totaled the extent of Hinata's possessions consisting mostly of clothes. It was far less than he'd expected and a quick rummage through while putting her clothes in the closet told him all he needed to know about the level of respect the Hyuuga clan held for her. None of the clothes were new, all bearing the signs of wear and tear typical of second-hand clothing. Presumed dead for two years and they couldn't be bothered to give her new or at least flattering clothing?

He wasn't given much time to fume over the neglect his wife had suffered in his absence since he knew she was waiting downstairs with her cousin. Anxiety swiftly replaced anger to once again be replaced with relief at seeing her in his home. Her presence alone told him she'd forgiven his deception far, far sooner than he'd ever expected.

_I promise you will never regret trusting me, Hinata._

She stirred when he brushed his fingers through her short hair and he smirked as her brow wrinkled at being disturbed. Pale lavender eyes blinked open sleepily, half-lidded and empty.

"Hinata."

She blinked slowly and his smirked softened into a smile at her sleepy response.

"Do you know where you are?"

She blinked again and a faint blush tinted her cheeks. Pressing her face into the pillow, she nodded. Sasuke played with the short, feathery strands of midnight hair dusting the back of her neck. Unlike the previous evening, Hinata didn't tense at his touch, possibly because she was only half awake, but he wasn't going to complain. Whatever she would give him, he would happily take because he knew without a doubt he didn't deserve the trust of this woman.

"I have a mission, but I'll take you into the village when I get back."

Her empty eyes peeked up towards him with considerable more awareness and Sasuke knew now waking her was the right choice. If she woke up after he'd already left, she might not have even remembered where she was and he could only imagine the panic would have been crippling. The thought of being alone in a strange place was obviously very nerve-wracking for her and he wished he could stay to help her adjust, but some time alone might be just what she needed to truly feel like she belonged here.

"You may use the inner courtyard, but do not leave the compound and do not open the door to anyone," he said sternly.

Hinata's eyes widened slightly at his harsh tone. "Ano, Neji-nii-san said he would come."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes only to remember the potency of his dark glare was lost on her. "How would you know if it's really him?" he challenged.

An adorably puzzled look descended over her porcelain face. "His chakra," she said as if should be obvious.

Dark brows furrowed. "Explain."

Hinata curled her small hands against her chest. Of course he knew she could no longer _see_ anyone's chakra, but…. "I can feel it," she said.

"Feel it?"

Hearing genuine interest in his voice, Hinata nodded with a small smile tugging at her lips. "It's very calm and controlled, like…like a deep river. Naruto-kun's is wild and burns a little. I-I think everyone must be different."

_That's…disturbingly accurate, _he mused. Curiosity pricked at him and he decided not to resist.

"What does mine feel like?"

Her cheeks pinkened and she curled a little more into herself. "Lightning," she whispered.

Sasuke raised a brow. _Does she know my elemental chakra is lightning? __This might add up to something after all._ "Fine, but only Neji. If you doubt for one moment if it's him…."

"I'll know," she said with unexpected firmness.

Sasuke smirked at her previously absent confidence and tugged gently on one of the long locks of hair framing her pixie face. "The sun isn't up yet. Go back to sleep."

She obediently closed her eyes and snuggled down into the pillow. Pulling the blankets up over her shoulders, he carefully tucked them around her small form so she would stay warm in his absence.

_My wife._

Brushing a loose strand back from her face, he leaned down and paused to make certain she was well on her way to slumber before placing a feathered kiss on her temple. Ever since she first set foot in his house, he couldn't bring himself to stop touching her be it holding her hand, brushing her shoulder, holding her as he slept…. The woman was a drug and each minute spent in her presence only served to add to his addiction. It was likely a blessing that she couldn't see the way he looked at her now as it would probably frighten her out of her wits.

Shaking his head at his ridiculous lack of control when it came to her, Sasuke slipped out the door and padded down to the kitchen to grab a bite to eat. Knowing Naruto, he wouldn't have to worry about _not _breaking for lunch, so he just swallowed a couple onigiri from the day before and moved out to the foyer to put his sandals on.

Pushing the door open to get a breath of fresh air, Sasuke blinked at the fist poised in front of his face before shifting his gaze to sapphire eyes.

A wide grin split Naruto's face as he pulled his fist back and crossed his arms. "Well I certainly wasn't expecting you to be up this early," he admitted.

Obsidian eyes narrowed sharply. "Why's that?"

Naruto's grin never faded, but it took a more sinister curve. "Where's Hinata?"

"Sleeping."

"I want to see her."

Sasuke braced his arm against the doorframe, blocking the entrance as Naruto took a step forward. "Leave her be, Naruto," he growled.

The two shinobi glared at each other for a minute before Naruto smirked and stepped back. "I thought as much."

Sasuke scowled. "What are you babbling about?"

The blonde shrugged. "You don't hide yourself as well as you think you do. Well, enough of that. You've got quite a day ahead of you." His foxy grin did nothing to ease Sasuke's suspicions that his first mission since his return was going to be anything less than messy and miserable.

Stepping out onto the front porch, Sasuke pulled the door closed and locked it, tucking the key into his weapons pouch. "How long is this going to take," he asked, falling in step with Naruto. "I have to take Hinata into the village for supplies."

"Supplies?"

He shoved his hands into his pockets. "For her garden."

A smile tugged at Naruto's lips as he turned his eyes away from his old friend and rival to the road ahead of them. "No worries. A powerful shinobi like you shouldn't have any problem gleaning rice fields in record time."

_Rice fields? Wonderful._ Sasuke barely managed to suppress a groan, knowing he would be covered head to toe in mud by the time this was over.

***

Hunger stirred Hinata awake hours later and it took her a few minutes to place herself. The room was filled with the familiar warmth of sunlight, the bed soft and comfortable and still smelling strongly of her companion. Remembering that she was now alone, she rolled over and buried her face in Sasuke's pillow, drowning her senses in his peculiar scent. Hugging the pillow close, she giggled softly, startling herself at the forgotten sound of her own laughter.

_I'm married to Uchiha Sasuke and…and…he's __**nice**__! _Oh, how terrified she'd been when left alone with him, but he treated her with greater kindness and respect than her own clan aside from Neji and Hanabi. He had all the opportunity in the world to take advantage of her, and the husbandly right to do so, but all he'd done was hold her through the night. She didn't need his familiar scent or chakra to assure her he was the same man who spent months taking care of her and brought her back to Konoha. His actions told it all.

No matter what she did or didn't know about him, she could be certain he had no intention of hurting her. It wasn't exactly the love match she'd always hoped for, but she would find a way to be a good wife to him. _I am his only family now. He could've had any woman he wanted, but he chose me to help him restore his clan. He wanted __**me**__. _Taking one last deep breath, Hinata pulled herself out of bed.

As she started every morning before coming here, she patiently straightened out the blankets and pillows, absently wondering what color they were since Sasuke never described this room to her. _He probably didn't want to scare me with details of a bedroom._

Finishing with the bed, she made her way over to the closet she found the night before and rummage through until she found a pair of pants and a shirt. After a quick shower and dressing, Hinata felt surprisingly energized and set out to explore her new home, testing her memory from the night before first with locating the kitchen and the bowl of fruit positioned on the counter.

By the time afternoon rolled around, she had completed her rounds of the compound and settled into familiarizing herself with her garden. Shino clearly remembered the layout of the first one and had mimicked it perfectly, but she found that even more ground had been tilled for the purpose of expansion if she so desired.

"_This is your home now. Do as you wish."_

Hinata brushed her fingers through the lavender. _I've heard so many things about him before and after he left. He was always so cold to everyone, arrogant and power hungry, but he must have been so lonely too. With his Clan gone and his own brother responsible, no wonder he tried to push everyone away. I think…he doesn't want to be alone anymore._

Crushing a bit of lavender in her fingers, she ran them lightly through her short hair before dusting her hands off and standing. _I don't know when he will get back from his mission, but maybe I can prepare something for dinner and reheat it if he gets back late._

The kitchen had been strictly off limits at the Hyuuga compound, but this was her home now and there was no one around to tell her what she could and couldn't do. So Hinata happily made her way to the kitchen to try her hand at one of her old favorite pastimes.

Her eagerness deflated on arrival as she realized there was no way for her to properly locate and identify the ingredients she would need provided Sasuke even had them on hand.

"I should start with something simple…like tea," she murmured. With a nod of decision, she calmly felt around the counter space until she located the stove and the tea kettle sitting on one of the cold burners. She filled it with water and set it back on the stove, finding the dials and turning the correct one on. Satisfied with this, she felt around the cupboards for a tea pot and found it accompanied with a selection of dried tea leaves. Pulling them down, Hinata cautiously sniffed through the selection, identified one she liked, and dropped some of the leaves into the empty pot.

The tea kettle was starting to whistle by the time she put all the other leaves back in their containers and she scurried over to turn the stove off.

_This isn't so hard. _Reaching for the tea kettle, her fingers skimmed over a scalding surface and she yelped. Tears sprung from her eyes and she shoved her burnt fingers into her mouth to sooth the pain just as she heard the front door open and close.

Hinata stiffened and slowly turned towards the door of the kitchen in tense anticipation until she heard Sasuke's voice gruffly announce his presence from down the hall. Sighing in relief, she tucked her throbbing fingers behind her back and waited for him to find her.

***

He'd already stripped down to his boxers in the foyer before he remembered he didn't live alone anymore. Contemplating the mud caked clothes in his hands and very much _not_wanting to put them back on, he also remembered that one, he was married to this woman and two, she couldn't see anyway.

_What a shame. I bet she would blush to the tips of her toes._ He smirked as he started towards the washroom, hollering "Taidama," into the dark hallway so she would know it was him since she undoubtedly heard the door open. Dumping his muddy clothes into a pile for later tending, he slipped on a pair of clean black sweat pants before going in search of Hinata. She'd probably faint if she knew he was walking around in just his boxers. Not that her reaction wouldn't be amusing but he really ought to save the embarrassment for a time when she was feeling more at ease with him.

Padding through the hallways towards her faint chakra signature, he finally arrived in the kitchen and found her waiting for him. Pausing in the doorway, he looked her up and down with a raised brow.

"Did you have trouble getting dressed this morning, Hinata?" he asked with open amusement.

Her expectant expression turned puzzled. "N-no. Why?"

"You're wearing my shirt."

Her face flushed and her eyes shifted back and forth. "Gomen, I-I couldn't really tell…." she faded off in embarrassment and Sasuke couldn't help chuckle at her dilemma causing her blush to deepen.

He tried really hard to contain his amusement at her shy embarrassment over such a little thing, especially when….

"You have it on backwards."

She jumped with a squeak and immediately pulled her arms in so she could turn the large shirt around properly. Sasuke leaned against the doorframe watching her struggle like a little kitten wrapped up in a towel. His chest shook with repressed laughter until she finally poked her little arms back through the sleeves.

"Ano, d-do I have it right now?" she asked shyly.

"Ah." How could she have mistaken the shirt for one of hers anyway? Perhaps she simply grabbed the first one she found. It was obviously too large for her but he liked seeing her looking so comfortable in his clothes.

She started to fidget under his silence gaze, fiddling with the hem of the shirt and wincing. He glanced at her hands and in an instant stood in front of her.

"What happened?" he demanded. Capturing her right wrist, he pulled it closer to inspect the reddened fingers.

"It-it's nothing. I was careless," she said, trying to tug her hand free.

Sasuke's fingers tightened around her wrist and she froze, standing awkwardly wanting to retreat and stay at the same time.

"Hinata." The low, rumbling tone of his voice was undoubtedly a command she was quickly becoming familiar with.

"I," she dropped her head sullenly, "I just wanted to make some tea."

Sasuke blinked at her whispered words before looking down at her scalded fingers and then at the steaming tea kettle. _She must have misjudged where the kettle was. I never even considered something like that._

Frowning at this new complication, he tugged on her wrist and she obediently followed him out of the kitchen and up to their room. He seated her on the bed and disappeared into the bathroom to retrieve the burn cream.

"Medical supplies are in the bottom drawer of the vanity," he said. Sitting beside her, he lifted her hand for a second inspection.

Hinata wrinkled her nose. "Your burn cream stinks."

Sasuke glanced down at the unopened container and then back at her Pakkun impression with amusement. "That's not the cream."

Confusion lit her lavender eyes and Sasuke smirked as he went back to checking her fingers. "It's me," he said.

From the corner of his eye he saw her face flush a brilliant red. Her free hand rose to cover her face as she muttered a muffled apology.

"Naruto pushed me into the rice field." He opened the burn cream and started to liberally coat her fingers. _This stuff really does stink though._

Her head shot up suddenly and he blinked at her.

"You…you're getting mud all over the blankets!" she said and he half expected her to push him off the bed from the horrified look that spread over her features.

Sasuke shook his head and tugged sharply on her wrist to distract her. "I dumped my clothes in the washroom, so stop worrying about it."

Silence fell over them as he finished tending to her fingers and capped the burn cream. Glancing back up at Hinata, he found her complexion had completely shifted spectrums from embarrassed red to stark white. It took him a moment to realize he'd told her that he'd discarded his clothes in the washroom…but not that he'd put any back on.

_At this rate she'll probably faint every time I try to kiss her. I'll be an old man before I get any kids!_

Shaking his head at his far too innocent wife, Sasuke laid her hand on his cloth covered knee and watched some of the color filter back into her face as understanding set in.

_You really need to start trusting me, Hinata._

He patted her hand once and pushed off the bed. "I'm going to get cleaned up and then we'll go into the village." He padded back over to the closet to get some clean clothes. Pausing at the too small pile of feminine clothing next to his own, Sasuke grabbed a light blue button down and dropped it in Hinata's lap on his way to the bathroom.

"The buttons go in the front," he said, unable to contain a smirk as he closed the door on an indignant squeak. _Life with her will never be dull._

Hinata glared in the general direction of the bathroom and waited until she heard the shower turn on before scrambling out of Sasuke's shirt and into her own.

_Buttons in front indeed. That, that, ooooh!_

Angry fingers tugged at the buttons until they complied and by then her annoyance with the arrogant man had fizzled as she recalled the soft sound of his laughter. She didn't know what to expect when he came home, but gentle teasing certainly wasn't it. And how quickly his amusement fled when he found she had burned herself!

Hinata pressed her hands against her warm cheeks. He'd sounded so upset over her injury and he'd been very gentle when attending it. Still, it would be foolish to believe he had genuine feelings for her. Surely he was just protecting his means to restoring his Clan…but she could live with that. Sasuke valued her, perhaps as a possession but at least he was a man who took good care of his belongings. _A woman like me couldn't ask for more than that._

But she did. Deep within her heart, she desperately wanted more.

***

Hinata had been in the village center a total of three times since her return and now she remembered why she so rarely ever wished to go. The market place was a cacophony of sound; children laughing and playing underfoot, shopkeepers and customers chatting back and forth trying to be heard over everyone else, things being dropped and banged…it was painful to her sensitive ears.

"You okay?"

She jumped at the words spoken so close to her and remembered whose arm she had a death grip on at the moment.

"Hai," she said quickly. "It's just a bit loud."

Sasuke eyed her skeptically as she continued to squeeze the blood out of his arm. Clearly she wasn't fine at all considering the sensory overload she was surely suffering. All the racket was hurting _his _ears and he could actually see what was making it.

"Where do you usually get your supplies," he asked, maneuvering her through the afternoon crowd without pushing anyone out of the way no matter how tempted he was to do so.

"Hikaru-san's apothecary."

He slipped an arm around her waist and pulled her sideways just as a cart of apples tumbled over into the street. Hinata's startled squeak was lost in the voice of the shopkeeper yelling at the kids responsible, but the blush dusting her cheeks didn't escape Sasuke's observant eyes.

Smirking slightly, he decided to keep his arm where it was…just until they got out of the busiest part of the marketplace. Rounding the corner onto the next street, he suddenly found himself pinned by two sharp, measuring glares.

_This is really getting old._

"Ohayo Sasuke-kun, Hinata-chan," Ino chirped, the glint in her blue eyes belying her pleasant tone.

"Ino." Sasuke met her glare unperturbed before shifting his gaze. "Tenten."

Hinata brightened instantly. "Ohayo Ino-chan, Tenten-san," she smiled.

Eyes that had previously been plotting to eviscerate him suddenly gentled as they shifted to the woman beside him.

"Neji sends his apologies, Hinata," Tenten said. "He was called in for a sensitive mission this morning and was really sorry that he couldn't come by like he promised."

"I understand," Hinata said softly and she did. Neji had a very important responsibility and she could hardly expect him to drop everything just to keep her company for a little while.

Glancing between the three women thoughtfully, Sasuke seized on the opportunity offered to him and released his hold on Hinata to dig in his pocket.

"Do you two have off for the rest of the afternoon?" he asked.

Ino eyed him suspiciously and with a veiled hint of lingering admiration from her youth. "Yeah, why?"

Pulling out a wad of cash, Sasuke separated the bulk of it and handed it to the wide-eyed blonde. "Take Hinata shopping."

Tenten stared at the money in Ino's hand and then back at him. "For what exactly?"

Meeting her curious brown eyes, Sasuke decided this was one woman he should keep on the good side of considering how close she was to Hinata's powerful and overly-protective cousin. "Everything."

Hinata latched onto his sleeve, tugging gently to get his attention. "Ano, I-I don't need anything."

"You're an Uchiha now, Hinata," Sasuke said, prying her fingers from his shirt. "You need to look like one." With a firm hand on her back, he pushed her towards the two kunoichi and Tenten quickly grabbed Hinata's arm to steady her.

"Demo—."

"I'll take your list to the apothecary and catch up with you later," he said. Ino was still gaping at the wad of cash after he turned his back and left.

"Well," she said slowly, "that was unexpected."

Tenten looked down at Hinata's dejected face and patted her hand gently. "He's right, you know. The clothes you have now don't suit the wife of the richest man in Konoha."

Vacant lavender eyes turned up towards her. "I-I suppose you are right."

"Oh yeah," Ino grinned wickedly. "This is going to be fun!"

Tenten winced. "On the other hand…."

***

"Ino-chan, I really don't think I need this many kimonos."

"Nonsense." The blonde eyeing up another piece of cloth waved away her protest. "You are a Clan Matriarch now so that means you'll be involved in other Clan functions. You will need several formal kimonos to start off with, then there's your everyday kimonos, not to mention something to wear when you and Sasuke-kun go out for the evening…."

"Demo, I don't think Sasuke-kun will be taking me anywhere."

"He will if I have anything to say about it," Ino huffed and zeroed in on a rack of evening gowns. "Especially when he sees you in this!"

Hinata turned pleadingly to the woman standing beside her. "Tenten-san."

Tenten sighed despite the grin on her face. "Nothing too flashy or revealing, Ino. This _is _Hinata after all."

"Hai, hai." Ino flung two dresses at Tenten to add to the growing pile of clothes Hinata was required to try on. "Oh, that reminds me!" She spun around to eye Hinata up and down. "We should go to that new lingerie store down the street."

Hinata flushed. "Ino-chan!"

Tenten quickly wrapped her free arm around Hinata and pulled her close. "Ino," she snapped at the startled blonde.

"What? She'll need undergarments to wear with her new clothes," Ino said with complete innocence until the weight of what she had said register. "Oh, Kami, Hinata, I didn't mean that! I mean we could if you want to, but you don't want to, I mean, he didn't, you didn't…." Ino stuttered off into a whisper. "Did he?"

Despite Ino's abysmally tactless way of approaching the subject, Tenten was adamantly interested in Hinata's answer.

Hinata curled a hand in front of her mouth and shook her head slowly. Both girls sighed with barely concealed relief.

"So what did happen, if you don't mind telling us that is," Tenten asked, guiding her to the dressing rooms. "I mean we were all really worried." She personally suffered through a serious work out with Neji just trying to keep him from thinking about what would happen to his little cousin last night in the arms of the Uchiha.

Stepping behind the curtain, Hinata started unbuttoning her shirt. "He showed me around the compound and described every room to me."

Ino and Tenten exchanged bewildered looks.

Selecting a dress, Ino slipped it through the curtain for her. "Is that all?"

Hinata felt around for the dress and thanked Ino before slipping it over her head. "He also showed me the herb garden he allowed Shino-kun to plant for me in the central courtyard and he promised to get me all the supplies I need for my medicines. That's why we came out today."

"Wow," Tenten murmured. "I never expected him to be so…kind."

"Well, he did save her and take care of her for months," Ino said. "Although, I have to agree that hardly sounds like the Sasuke-kun I remember."

Hinata fingered the silky material of the dress she wore. "Before, when I was with him, I knew he was dangerous, but…I wasn't afraid. He could have left me or killed me, but he didn't. And last night, he could have…but he didn't…."

Hearing the curtain being pushed aside, Hinata turned towards her friends. "He just wanted to hold me while he slept. Is…is that strange?"

Ino and Tenten shared a surprise look before Ino stepped forward to tug and straighten the dress. "For a man who lost everything that meant anything to him and then had to kill his own brother to gain justice for it?" She stepped back and smiled at the results of her nitpicking. "I think that sounds like just what he needs."

Tenten nodded her approval of the garment and Ino's words. "The question is, Hinata, what do you want?"

Blushing softly, Hinata pressed a finger to her lips. "I…I want to be a good wife, demo, there isn't much I can do. I burned myself just trying to make tea." She looked forlornly at her fingers even though she couldn't see the damage she'd done to the delicate digits.

Ino tsked over her fingers and then patted her hand. "Nonsense! I know for a fact the way to Sasuke-kun's heart is _not_through his stomach. There are plenty of other ways to seduce a man that doesn't require food."

"Seduce?" Hinata squeaked. "I don't want to seduce him!"

"Give it time," Ino said cheekily, winking at Tenten. "Now, take that dress off. We've got plenty more for you to try on and then we are going over to that lingerie store. The least we can do is get you some nice pajamas."

* * *

**Ingrid-** As for other characters playing as big a role as Sasuke and Hinata (or whoever the main pairing is) I agree that it pretty well defeats the purpose of having a main character. So you won't have to worry about that. Other characters only show up in the story when they have a role to fill. I could write an entire series on what each individual character is doing during this story, but the story isn't about them, it's about Sasuke and Hinata. My basic rule is: if it doesn't move the plot forward, cut it out of the story. As for Kiba and Shino, they will be popping up again as will others. The story isn't even half over yet. ;-)

"_I seriously don't understand Hinata's crying. Though I can find it understandable from her PoV, not knowing what Sasuke will do, while all the time knowing that he will do something. But since I also read it from Sasuke's PoV, I know that he won't do anything to harm her ... Unless of course when it is unintentional."_

I think _**fanofthisfiction**_ explained it best in her review: "_She was petrified of her obligations of becoming his wife and absolutely terrified of possibilities of soon consummating the bond. Without all the traditional steps of courting, falling in love, and mutually deciding to be together along with doubts of who he really was and what his intentions were…"_

You kind of hit it on the head with Point of View. Hinata didn't know what Sasuke was thinking, but you as the reader did, so you have to confine your understanding of Hinata's reaction to her point of view alone.

I have to thank you for opening my eyes to the benefits of writing only one point of view in a story, something I've had a lot of trouble understanding until now!

**Also **thanks to _**meep!, hana chan, Starfire201, Inaz, Jay_chAn, MDZ **_(thanks for the cookies and hot chocolate!), _**Chibi Shy Shadow Reader (Graciela), Castiel, oluja, Blah…, Whitesaphire, ww, **_and _**YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY **__(with 14 A's)_ for your wonderful reviews.

I am blown away by the interest in this story. So many new and return readers and even more Chibi Shy Shadow Readers! If the hit counter is reliable, at least 1000 people read the new chapters the day they are posted. You guys are just awesome. I bow to you!


	15. in Devotion

**A/N-** Here's a little interlude from the developing romance of Sasuke and Hinata. But no worries because this should sate all you hopeless romantics for the time being. I kept it as a chapter in the Ikigai story instead of making it a separate one-shot (like I did with Ryukaze) because it's connective and has some parallels to Sasuke's and Hinata's relationship. The events occur the same day as the previous chapter.

**Disclaimer:** If I owned _Naruto _I wouldn't be so confused about the plot.

Enjoy!

_**Ikigai**_

**in Devotion**

**Chapter 15**

Tenten waved at the elderly man sweeping his steps two doors down from her own as she pulled out her keys and inserted them with precision into the lock. With a well practice twist of the wrist, the door clicked and she strode in and dropped her keys on the small table beside the door. Kicking her sandals off into an adequately disorderly pile, she strode across the open living room into the kitchen and deposited her small package on the counter en route to the fridge.

"I'm starving," she muttered, peering at her freshly stocked selection. "I swear, not even Gai-sensei could stand up to Ino on a shopping spree."

"No arguments here."

Tenten grabbed a container of chopped pork. "I mean seriously, she—." Her spine stiffened and the refrigerator door slipped from nerveless fingers as she slowly turned her head towards the lithe male stretched out languidly on her couch. _How the heck did I not know he was here?_

Her eyes traveled the length of his sinuous body, relishing the defined muscles revealed by his tight sleeveless shirt. Few were privileged to see Hyuuga Neji so relaxed and unguarded, like a panther sprawled contentedly in a patch of sunlight and yet no less deadly for the moment of respite. Pulling her gaze away from the Anbu tattoo on the firm curve of his shoulder, she grazed over smirking lips to meet the amusement in hooded silver eyes. A bright blush blossomed in her cheeks, no thanks to the less than innocent and terribly memorable conversations occurring in a lingerie store just a few hours ago.

A quick glance towards the door revealed his gear in a neat pile in contrast to her haphazardly discarded shoes. "When did you get back?" she asked, turning away to distract herself from the burning in her cheeks.

"Half hour ago."

Popping open the lid on the pork, Tenten reached for a spoon and glanced over her shoulder. He hadn't moved an inch, still watching her with that limp-eyed look that threatened to undo her every time. The skin beneath his eyes was slightly darkened and her heart tugged uncomfortably at the obvious exhaustion. She'd been up most of the night keeping him distracted from thinking about Hinata's first night with Sasuke, but she'd been able to sleep in whereas he was called in for an unplanned mission that morning. Concern overrode her lingering embarrassment and all thoughts of Ino's detailed commentary on shinobi male prowess vanished.

"Are you hungry?"

A slow blink was her answer and she turned back to scooping out the pork into a pan. Setting the tea kettle to boil and a second pot for rice, Tenten succumbed to her rarely indulged domestic side as she puttered around her small kitchen.

Neji's smirk at her unexpected perusal of his body smoothed into a lazy smile. At first he intended to tease her about not noticing his presence, but her blushing reaction startled him. He could still feel the caress of her eyes and if it'd been any other woman, he would've felt nothing less than annoyed. However, Tenten wasn't a woman who admired the physique of anything unless it was forged of fire and metal and she most definitely never looked at _him_ like that.

The memory of the night they fell asleep together on this very couch danced through his mind along with flushed cheeks and trepidation in mocha brown eyes. Many times since then he'd reflected on the untouchable weapons mistress' habits and watched closely her interaction with other men. Not once did a hint of pink touch her cheeks even at the most audacious propositions nor did she ever look at anyone the way she had just done to him. It wasn't for lack of trying on the part of other men. Tenten was a beautiful woman; fierce in battle and kind of heart. Despite her lacking heritage, she was a fine catch for any hot-blooded shinobi…if anyone could manage to survive the pursuit.

_I'm lucky she didn't maim me for using her chest as a pillow,_ he thought wryly as he watched her wield a simple kitchen knife with deadly precision. An array of vegetables were tossed into the pan and Neji's eyes narrowed slightly as another piece of the puzzle clicked into place.

Tenten was cooking for him. Tenten was _cooking_ for him. Tenten was cooking for _him._ Kunoichi _never _admitted to possessing useful domestic skills. He stumbled upon the closely guarded secret after Hinata's alleged death when he'd been staying here with increasing frequency. Either Gai or Lee had always overseen the cooking details during missions because Tenten's food never failed to turn out abysmally bland. So understandably he'd been suspicious of the meals she offered him only to discover she'd been deceiving them all that time. Lee and Gai still didn't know the truth.

Now that he was thinking about it, Tenten permitted him a lot more liberties than any other man in her life. Lee often came to visit, but he didn't have a key and he never crashed on her couch overnight.

His gaze followed her movements thoughtfully until he caught sight of the small pink gift bag she'd deposited on the counter when she came in.

"So you went shopping with Ino," he prodded.

"And Hinata," Tenten said, turning off the tea kettle to fill the waiting teapot.

His eyes sharpened. "Hinata? How is she?"

An unseen smile curled Tenten's lips as she remembered Sasuke's arm wrapped possessively around the blushing former heiress.

"The same, I guess."

The silence behind her radiated faint menace. "I'm surprised he let you take her anywhere."

"It was his idea actually." She dished out the rice and stir fry onto two plates and set it on the table. With liquid grace, Neji moved off the couch and joined her, a vicious scowl marring his smooth features.

"So he got what he wanted and couldn't wait to be rid of her," he fairly snarled.

"He didn't get anything from her." Tenten slid into the seat across from him. "Will you at least let me finish the story before you start planning his demise?"

Neji glared at her before forcefully stabbing a piece of pork with his chopsticks. "Talk."

Her brows dipped in irritation at his command, but decided to ignore it this time considering his volatile mood.

"Ino and I ran into them in the village center. Sasuke was taking Hinata to get supplies for her remedies."

A slender brow crept up. "He's encouraging her hobby?"

"Oh, it gets better." She smiled. "When we ran into him, he gave us a ton of cash and told us to get Hinata a whole new wardrobe."

Neji shrugged. "She's married to a clan lord now. He'll expect her to look the part."

Brown eyes glared at him. "Are you going to let me continue or not?"

A smirk tugged at his lips before he tilted his head in regal consent that made her roll her eyes.

"So we took her shopping and found out some interesting things about our dear Uchiha Sasuke."

Neji grimaced at the endearment and waited for her to continue, but she only stared at him with a funny little smile.

"Are you going to tell me or not," he scowled.

Tenten shoveled the last few bites into her mouth. _Why bother. It's not like you would understand or accept the truth._

Seeing that she had no intention of continuing at the moment, Neji also finished off his plate and took it to the sink to wash.

"I think he really cares about her," Tenten said softly.

Laying the plate in the sink before he broke it, Neji turned around and leaned back against the counter. Crossing his arms across his chest, he pinned her with a silently demanding glare.

If she felt the weight of his gaze, she gave no sign as she tapped her chopsticks on the empty plate, eyes staring off across the room at nothing visible. "He didn't sleep with her," she murmured, "at least, not _that_ way."

Neji blinked. "He didn't…."

Tenten looked up at him and her eyes softened at his bewilderment. "Things happened between those two that none of us know about, something that made Sasuke willing to risk execution to be with Hinata. A man wouldn't do that for a woman if she didn't mean something to him, would he?"

Only the curious glint in her brown eyes told him her observation was actually a question, one that seemed adamantly important to her.

"You think he loves her?" Neji asked incredulously.

"No," Tenten said softly, "but I think he needs her, for more than just to restore his clan." Her eyes shifted to stare distantly over his shoulder. "Maybe…that kind of need…can become love."

Neji tilted his head at the wistful wonder in her quiet voice. He had the sneaking suspicion she wasn't thinking about Sasuke just then.

"Tenten?"

She blinked and shook her head to clear her thoughts, offering him a smile that didn't hide as much as she thought it did. "Anyway, I don't think we need to worry about him hurting Hinata."

She honestly believed that and Tenten's intuition was seldom wrong. Tension eased out of his body with her assurance and his thoughts focused more acutely on the woman before him and the mysterious little gift bag she brought home.

"So what did you get?" he asked, striding around the table to pluck up the small pink bag.

Tenten hopped up suddenly and made a grab for it just as he pulled it out of reach, causing her to overreach and stumble. Catching her balance, she spun around to find a smirk quirking his lips as he dangled the bag from one finger. Bringing it to eye level, Neji made a show of reading the words that caught his attention the moment she first put the thing down.

"_Femme Fatale_. Isn't that the new lingerie store?" he raised a speculative eyebrow at her.

"Ino just wanted to check it out." She made another grab for the bag only to have him raise it out of her reach. Fixing him with an irritated glare, she fought the urge to stomp her foot at the amusement in his silver eyes. "It's nothing important."

"Oh, well then, you won't mind if I have a look, will you," he said as he lowered the bag to peek into it. Just as it came down to eye level, Tenten leaped again only to have it once more jump out of reach.

_Curse the man's reflexes!_ "Neji, give it back!" she demanded, tugging on his muscular arm trying to pull it down into reach.

"I thought you said it wasn't important," Neji needled, suppressing his laughter at the woman trying to crawl up his arm.

In true kunoichi style, Tenten drew her hand back and punched him in the stomach. Neji folded with a sharp gasp and Tenten grabbed the bag and jumped away, hugging it protectively to her chest.

Rubbing his bruised solar plexus, Neji scowled as he straightened up. "That was low."

"And using your height against me wasn't?" she retorted. Turning away from him to find a secure place to stash her prize, Tenten missed the predatory gleam in silver eyes. No sooner was her back turned when he pounced.

Tenten shrieked as she tumbled to the floor, landing with a solid oomph. Neji twisted one arm behind her back before she registered his intent.

"Neji, get off," she demanded, glaring at the floor beneath her, "so I can hurt you!"

"Honestly, Tenten, you really need to spend more time training if you can't keep your guard up against such an obvious attack," he tsked. His even lecturing tone belied the laughter in his eyes.

Gripping the crushed gift bag beneath her, Tenten quickly catalogued her options. _The boy wants to play rough, then let's play rough_. Brown eyes glinted as she released the bag and wiggled her fingers into the top of her blouse. The pressure on her arm and back effectively held her pinned and a quick glance out of the corner of her eyes told her Neji's knees were braced on the floor on either side of her hips, putting him in perfect range.

Curling her fingers tightly around the small hidden blade, she swung her arm around aiming for his thigh. His free hand clamped down hard on her wrist, freezing it just millimeters from its target.

"Nice try," he smirked, wondering how she'd gotten a hold on the small blade and knowing better than to ask. The secret of how and where Tenten hid her vast arsenal of weapons on her person was one to be left to another day…after he found out just what exactly his no frills, never-been-kissed teammate bought at the hottest new lingerie store in the village.

She turned her head to peer at him over her shoulder, lips curling in a vicious little smile that made his eyes narrow suspiciously. Her eyes flickered once to her captured hand and he glanced down to see thin blue threads of chakra attached to her fidgeting fingers. Flipping backwards and twisting, Neji just barely dodged the rain of assorted weapons pulled from her walls, landing in a low crouch as three swords, a scythe, and a family of silver edged shuriken thudded into the wall behind him.

"I've just had this place painted, Neji," Tenten scowled as she drew herself up, pink gift bag in hand. "And I'd rather not use my private collection to tear it all to pieces again."

"You could just show me what you bought," he said, deeming it safe to stand. He should've known better than to take her on in her personal den of weaponry and he wasn't the slightest bit annoyed that she was more worried about slicing up her apartment than him. Nope, not one bit.

Brown eyes scowled for a moment before taking on a devilish twinkle. "Shouldn't you be more concerned about what _Hinata _bought?"

The unwanted image of his innocent little cousin wearing a sultry nightgown filtered through his mind and Tenten laughed at his horrified expression. Unfortunately, her laughter jolted him back to reality and his current intent.

Glowering at her distraction technique, Neji tackled her and quickly imprisoned both hands in one of his, preventing her from using chakra strings in her otherwise helpless state. With an indignant curse, Tenten swiveled her hips to throw him off, but he used her maneuver to wrap a leg under one of hers and pinned the other thigh, effectively trapping her beyond movement.

"Your underhanded tactics will not save you this time, Tenten." He met her glare with a smug smirk. "And your refusal to comply with my simple wish has only increased my curiosity." Reaching above her, he deftly plucked up the miniature gift bag and dumped its contents onto the floor.

Tenten froze in her pointless struggle and watched him warily as he picked up the small cylinder tube.

For a moment he'd wondered if it was really a good idea to pursue his curiosity because he wasn't altogether prepared to be confronted with Tenten's choice of intimate apparel. But knowing Tenten was as innocent in such things as Hinata was assured him that this was something worth investigating. Tenten had been acting strange lately and he was determined to find out why.

"Watermelon flavored lip gloss," he read aloud the script on the side of the tube. _Makeup. That's fairly innocuous…except Tenten doesn't wear makeup._ His eyes narrowed on the little image of two people kissing on the label before shifting to unreadable brown eyes.

"Who are you planning on kissing?" he demanded, his brows creasing with displeasure. There could be, after all, only one reason a woman would buy flavored lip gloss.

Her cheeks flushed at the insinuation even as her eyes darkened with feminine fury. "That's none of your business!"

Neji scowled. _Why is she being so stubborn today? _"If frivolous entanglements distract you on missions it becomes my business."

The weapons mistress sputtered indignantly. "Frivolous entanglements? What the heck, Neji! If I want to wear flavored lip gloss, I'll darn well wear flavored lip gloss!"

Neji pressed down harder when she started squirming to get out of his grip. "If it was that simple, you wouldn't have tried so hard to hide it from me."

The pain of his grip didn't even faze her as she struggled with fire dancing in her eyes. "My personal life is none of your business, Hyuuga. Now get off!"

Cold silver met burning mocha and Neji swore the cursed woman never looked more beautiful than when all of her rarely shown fury was directed solely at him. It washed over him in warm waves and he never even felt the sting of her reverting to his family name.

"What are you hiding, Tenten," he asked softly in stark contrast to her anger.

As if a bucket of cold ice had been dumped over her she stiffened, eyes wide and panicked for half a second before she shuttered her expression and forced herself to relax in his unbreakable grip. Knowing it was pointless to deny what he'd already honed in on, her lips pressed into a thin line of determined silence. The warmth of his body pressing against hers was doing strange things to her and she hoped he couldn't hear the frantic fluttering of her heart that had nothing to do with their struggles.

Despite her telltale reaction, Neji didn't feel victorious in having narrowed down to the crux of the matter. Apprehensive, irritated, even jealous if one wanted to get really technical, but he wouldn't be the first to admit it. Tenten was hiding something and that something most certainly involved a man. Why else would she bother herself with feminine extravagance and then go to such lengths to hide it from him?

Someone had managed to weasel under the weapons mistress' iron clad defenses and it seriously irked him. He didn't like to share.

Tightening his grip on her wrists, Neji leaned down to within a breath of her face, intensely aware of her curves pressed beneath his larger frame, feeling each strained breath and the rapid pulse in her wrists echoing back through her chest into his own.

"Who is he?"

Tenten shivered at the icy demand and turned her face away, afraid her eyes might speak too much. Frowning at her continued evasion, Neji threaded his fingers into her tousled hair and forced her gaze back to his. The glimmering in her eyes struck him like a slap in the face and she closed them quickly when her efforts to pull out of his hold failed.

With morbid fascination, Neji watched a silver jewel slip from beneath black lashes and carve a path down the soft curve of her cheek. He could count on one hand the number of times he'd seen Tenten cry and every one of them was for the death of a comrade with the exception of Hinata's return. She was made as much of iron and steel as the weapons adorning her walls. It was no less than unsettling to see her breaking before his eyes.

_Did someone hurt her? _He couldn't imagine Tenten ever leaving herself vulnerable enough for someone to get the chance to hurt her. But with her trembling beneath him, no place to run or hide, it suddenly became frighteningly clear just how fragile and defenseless she really was.

Untangling his fingers from her hair, Neji gently brushed at the sparkling trails on her cheek and a strangled whisper of breath halfway between a sob and a gasp parted her lips, drawing his attention to the soft pink flesh.

Tenten had never been kissed. He was sure of it. She never allowed anyone close enough to share that kind of intimacy with, but apparently she had intentions of doing so or she wouldn't have bought flavored lip gloss from the hottest new lingerie store in the Village. His eyes narrowed and darkened in speculation of who that lucky man would be. Some civilian who didn't know the sharp end of a kunai from its hilt? A shinobi who considered her just one wild ride in a long line of conquests?

His chest rumbled with fury at the nameless creep who would use his teammate and toss her aside like last week's laundry. No such man had the right to Tenten's first kiss. Tenten deserved someone who could match her in skill and determination, someone who would feed her fire and not smother it. She deserved passion and warmth and every soft thing kunoichi desired and resisted for fear of showing weakness. She deserved a man who wasn't afraid of her tears, who wasn't afraid to hold her and make love to her until the pain was just a dull memory….

His lips brushed against hers in the midst of his thoughts, startling them both. Mocha brown eyes shot open in shock and Neji drowned in every unguarded emotion laid out before him. Denied longing, desperate hope, and aching despair swirled in chocolate depths and he knew he never wanted her to look at another man like that.

"Don't," she pleaded when he started to lean in again.

A slender brow arched over gleaming silver eyes. "Don't what, Tenten? Kiss you?" He placed a lingering kiss on her cheek, his tongue flicking out to collect a salty tear. "Admire you?" He kissed her higher on her cheekbone and male satisfaction curled in his chest when her breathing hitched. "Adore you?" He brushed a third kiss on her opposite cheek and tasted fresh tears.

Pausing over her trembling lips, his eyes flickered up to hers. "Love you?" he breathed. Again that flash of hope and longing flickered through her eyes and Neji's lips curled into a smile. "Too late." Curling his fingers in her hair, he tilted her head back and kissed her firmly. Releasing her wrists, he cradled her face between his hands and gently teased and savored her unresisting lips with all the devotion and appreciation of a man who was hopelessly and eternally lost.

A tiny whimpering moan taunted his ears and he tensed when her hands rested on his shoulders, waiting for her to push him away. If she wanted a battle he would give her a battle and one thousand and thirty-six reasons why he would never let another man touch her like this, but it proved unnecessary.

Her moan of protest turned into a sigh of surrender and her fingers tangled in his long hair to draw him closer. Neji purred contentedly, parting her lips with his own and relishing the lingering sweetness of teriyaki mixed with innocence.

_All mine._

Sensing her need for air, he reluctantly broke the kiss and admired her pleasantly flushed features as she panted beneath him. Dazed chocolate eyes took a moment to clear and then the uncertainty and fear crept back.

"Don't…don't toy with me, Neji," she whispered harshly.

He swooped down and silenced her impending threat, drawing a deep sigh from her throat.

"Stop hiding in my blind spot," he growled back.

"What?" she gasped.

"Did you plan to stay there forever?"

Confusion and uncertainty clouded her eyes. "I-I don't understand." Her heart fluttered as a smirk curved his lips and his fingers threaded back into her hair, tugging it loose from its pins.

"You're always in my shadow," he murmured, eyeing the threads of auburn tinted cinnamon sifting through his fingers. "Always watching my back." Lifting a lock to his face, he breathed in her flowery scent spiced with a tinge of weapon's grease and his smirk smoothed into a soft smile as he met her timid gaze. "I don't want you to stand behind me anymore."

Tenten's body shuddered with the release of breath and emotion so long locked up inside, her fingers clutching at his shoulders as if he might disappear into a dream. Fresh tears broke loose, slipping like elegant crystals down her flushed cheeks and Neji leaned down to collect each one on his lips until her quiet little sobs subsided.

When he pulled back, she withdrew her hands to cover her face in an effort to collect herself. Neji waited patiently, playing with her loose hair and making plans that she would probably argue with if he should reveal them just then. All tears and emotion aside, Tenten was still a strong-willed woman who wasn't likely to submit all too easily to an equally stubborn man. He would enjoy the inevitable battles as much as he would the conquest. But then, so would she. He'd make sure of it.

An unsettling thought interrupted his smug intentions and his fiddling fingers froze.

"Tenten?"

A muffled, unintelligible sound answered him from beneath the cover of her hands. Amusement tugged at his lips for a moment before fading to the task at hand. Grasping her wrists, he pried her hands free.

A fine rosy blush still adorned her cheeks and a shy expression he had only ever seen in Hinata's eyes stared back at him in shades of brown. His train of thought derailed for a moment until she blinked.

"There _isn't _someone else, right?"

She blinked again. "Someone else?" she echoed in bewilderment. _Did he not see me disgrace myself with this mess of tears?_

Neji leaned closer and her eyes widened at the menace threading his chakra. "Is there?"

A small, devilish thought flickered through her mind to tease him with the possibility, but from the fierce look in his Byakugan eyes, she knew he would interrogate her mercilessly until he caught her in a lie or surrendered a name. It was pointless to try to lie to Neji and any name she gave him would result in a ruthless manhunt. Her heart thrilled at the steely determination she so long admired finally, _finally_ focused directly on her.

"What do you think?" she whispered.

His head tilted to the left, studying her with a piercing intensity that made her squirm. Blood rushed to her cheeks at the instant reminder of the intimate press of his sinuous body against hers and a feral smirk curled his lips, silver eyes gleaming with a fire she could feel sear through every fiber of her being.

"I don't think you would let another man touch you like this," he said smugly. "And if you did," he pressed his forehead against hers, eyes narrowing sharply. "I'd have to kill him for touching what's mine."

A cinnamon brow shot up and amusement danced across Tenten's eyes. "So now I'm yours?"

"Hmm." Neji pressed his face into the crook of her neck and nipped her gently, smirking when she squeaked. "Always."

Looping her arms around his neck, she hugged him tightly against her, allowing herself to be openly needy for the first time in many years. Ceasing his teasing assault, Neji returned the embrace, laying his head on her shoulder and listening to the calming beat of her heart.

He should've figured it out sooner, but she'd been careful and clever, always hiding in his blind spot, watching his back and taking the hits meant for him. She was his stability when Hinata "died" and his escape from the burdens of the Clan. Not once did she ever ask anything from him in return, but he would no longer accept her silent vigil.

He idly trailed his fingers down her side and traced circles on her hip. "Why didn't you say anything?" he asked.

"I was afraid," she whispered.

"That isn't like you."

"I know." Silence, then, "I didn't want to lose you."

Neji lifted his head to stare into her warm eyes, her vulnerable soul laid bare as an open offering to his mercy. "I'm not going anywhere, Tenten," he promised.

A brilliant smile curved her lips and she pulled him down for a heated kiss that would have devastated a man of lesser control. Not that he wasn't seriously tempted to indulge himself to the full, but he had no intentions of letting things go too far. He wouldn't dishonor Tenten on top of making her wait so long for him. Breaking the kiss with great difficulty, he smirked at her scowling protest.

"Neji…." She tugged on his hair.

"I was just wondering."

Tenten warily eyed the wicked gleam in silver orbs. "About?"

Lithe fingers tapped gently against her hip as a grin spread across his face.

"What other flavors do they have?"

* * *

**Blah…- **Your email didn't come through in the review so you don't have to worry about everyone knowing who you are. I only correspond through the FF site anyway, so you'll have to leave signed reviews or PM me if you want a personal response, kay?

**Castiel-** _"I don´t really understand why he asked TenTen and Ino to go shopping with Hinata...maybe he thought she´d be more comfortable with girls?"_

Can you really see Sasuke taking Hinata or any girl clothes shopping? In any case, there was an errand he needed to do that he didn't want Hinata with him for as you'll find out in the next chapter.

**Also** thanks to _**Hana chan, Jay_chAn, nat, YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY, Chibi Shy Shadow Reader (Graciela), LilL, MDZ, Inaz, oluja, orez, **_and _**ww **_for your cuddly reviews.

It's starting to get warm out so you Chibi Shy Shadow Readers best where some sun block if you decide to step out!

**Note- **Since this chapter is lacking SasuHina and many of you aren't fans of Neji/Ten (but are good sports anyway) I'll update next week as well to get you back into the SasuHina groove. :-)


	16. in Caution

**A/N- **I'm happy so many of you enjoyed Tenten and Neji's interlude last chapter. For those who don't favor that pairing, thanks for bearing with my muse and please keep in mind that, as in all my writing, everything is there for a reason. The events of the last chapter enable Tenten and Neji to, well, you'll just have to wait to find out. Anyway, this chapter continues on the evening of the same day as the previous two chapters.

**Disclaimer: **I bought a new DVD player so now I can watch Naruto any time I want…if I actually owned any of the DVDs. Okay, back to Veoh we go!

_**Ikigai**_

**in Caution**

**Chapter 16**

Sasuke moved silently through the darkened hallways, senses sharp and alert as he checked over the strategically placed seals maintaining the security web encompassing the compound. As long as the foundation seals remained in place and intact, no one could enter the grounds without him knowing. It was a recent habit he'd become easily accustomed to before Hinata moved in, unable to surrender himself to rest without ensuring that what he valued most was as safe and secure as he could make it.

Taking the stairs two at a time, he moved to the second floor and completed his nightly rounds in the master bedroom. Glancing at the light peeking out from under the bathroom door, Sasuke felt a smile tug at his lips. His most recent discovery about Hinata was that she still turned the lights on in certain rooms, either out of habit or hope he couldn't be certain. The oddity suited her. She belonged to the light just as much as he belonged to the darkness.

His smile slipped and his brows dipped slightly. She disappeared into the bathroom shortly before he began his nightly walkthrough. How long did she intend to stay in there? With an idle shrug, he padded over to his side of the bed and settled himself to read for a little while, but his mind kept straying to, of all places, his now very full closet.

Releasing Ino into the shopping district with a large wad of cash and orders to supply Hinata with everything a woman needed or wanted might not have been the wisest decision a person could make, but the results had been exactly as he anticipated. Hinata was a simple woman and no doubt protested against purchasing any quantity or quality of clothing, but Ino with money and free reign was an unstoppable force and she fulfilled his request with flare and enthusiasm. Of course, she also refused to allow him to even so much as peek at any of the purchases, much to his annoyance.

"_If you look at them now, it will ruin the surprise when Hinata wears it for you!"_

Poor Hinata flushed three shades of red at that statement and he really had to wonder exactly what Ino was referring to. Even now he was tempted to rummage through the closet and find what could possibly embarrass Hinata so much, but the bathroom door pulled open before he could follow through on his thought.

Eyes flickering up from his book, Sasuke's mouth went dry as Hinata shyly stepped into the room. The shimmering pink pajamas fit her far more snuggly that her previous cotton ones which apparently had been several sizes too big compared to these. Despite the modest coverage, the fabric did nothing to hide her generous curves and it flowed like water over her body as she cautiously made her way across the room to the bed.

Swallowing harshly, Sasuke forced his eyes away from the subtle sway of her hips to fix on her face. A soft blush dusting across her cheeks confirmed her awareness of his perusal, not that she could've expected any sane man to _not _stare.

_What is she thinking wearing something like that? _

Sasuke shook his head to clear the sudden flood of far from innocent images of his very innocent wife scantily clad in scraps of silk and narrowed his eyes at the closet with dawning understanding. There was no doubt in his mind the Ino was one hundred percent responsible for his wife's enticing attire, but Hinata's courage to wear it had to be her own.

Sasuke closed his book and watched Hinata quietly arranged herself in bed. He wasn't stupid enough, and not quite desperate enough, to believe Hinata was ready to move forward with their relationship. Her long sleeve top was buttoned up to the very last button and her hands fairly shook with anxiety, but she didn't immediately curl on her side and try to disappear into herself like she did the night before.

She fidgeted with the edge of the blanket bunched in her lap, sightless eyes flickering towards him sporadically until he realized she wanted to talk but her courage was fading fast under his silent scrutiny.

"I ordered your supplies. They should arrive in a few days," he said to break the ice.

"Oh!" Her face brightened with a small smile. "Arigato."

"Hn."

She abandoned the blankets to fiddle with the cuff of her sleeve and Sasuke's gaze fixed on her reddened fingers. He gently grasped her wrist and she froze as he turned her hand over to stare at the healing burns.

"I hired someone to assist you when I'm not here." He frowned at the injury. "She will be arriving early tomorrow morning."

Hinata's head jerked up, wide blind eyes fixing on him with startling accuracy. "Nani? D-Demo, I-I don't need a-a-a caretaker!"

Sasuke felt a sharp pang of regret at the hurt blanketing her face, but not nearly enough to change his mind.

"An assistant, not a caretaker," he corrected. "And yes, you do."

Hinata flinched. "D-Demo—."

"Hinata."

She wilted at the soft reprimand.

Sighing under his breath, Sasuke lifted her hand and gently kissed the injured fingers. "This," he stroked his thumb across her palm, "is not going to happen again."

Hinata barely heard his words over the thundering of her heart. Sasuke didn't appear to notice as he seemed content to draw circles on her soft skin in silence. Warmth infused her body, spreading along her nerve endings and settling deep into her bones. His touch was soothing despite her upset over being treated as an invalid once more with the provision of a caretaker. He might try to label it differently, but the end result was the same: just another reminder that she was useless and helpless.

But it was difficult to remain offended when his motive was so kind and protective.

"Gomen nasai," she whispered. _I didn't mean to make you worry._

The leisurely circling of his thumb stopped and he gently squeezed her hand before releasing it.

"You expect too much from yourself, Hinata," he said gruffly. Picking his book up once again, he tried to ignore how much he wanted to do more than trace patterns on her hand.

Her apology burned him. She didn't do anything wrong and now he felt like he was punishing her in some unintentional way by hiring someone to watch over her and care for the house and the meals when he couldn't. Hinata wasn't an innately prideful creature, but she'd been independent before she lost her sight. For someone as physically weak and incapable as she'd been to achieve jonin status and become a skilled medic-nin, she had to have shed a multitude of blood, sweat, and tears to get there. No one who makes those kinds of sacrifices to become stronger will go down without a fight, but he merely had to speak her name and she crumbled like a dandelion in his fist.

_Am I crushing her?_

He flipped a page and scowled at the words. _I don't know what else to do. I can't take the risk of her injuring herself again and I don't like the idea of her being alone all day._

"Sasuke-kun?"

Looking up, Sasuke watched her twist the edge of the blanket anxiously, a hopeful expression on her pixie face.

"Ano, are…are you reading a book?"

Sasuke blinked at her dumbly. "Hai." He stared with fascination as her cheeks reddened and her lavender eyes shifted to the side.

"Ano…would you mind…ah…" Her blush started to spread rapidly and Sasuke's brows dipped as he tried to figure out what she wanted to ask. It didn't take him long and he could've kicked himself for never thinking of it before.

"Do you want me to read to you?"

Her eyes shot towards him and joy fused with hope. "Is it all right?" she asked and he felt a smirk tug at his lips.

_Always so uncertain, Hinata. When will you figure out that I would do anything for you?_

"It's about elemental jutsus. Do you still want to hear it?"

She nodded excitedly and quickly burrowed under the covers to make herself comfortable. Plumping up a pillow with a well aimed punch, she snuggled in and looked up in the general direction of his face like a child in anticipation of the ultimate gift.

Obsidian eyes softened at her excitement and rare contentment settled over Sasuke as he found his place on the page. So many times during the months after he killed his brother he'd wondered how he could ever make a sweet, innocent woman like Hinata happy. He should've known it would be something simple and if it made her smile like that at him, he would read to her every night for the rest of their lives.

_That's not a bad idea actually._

Being stared at by a blind person while he read aloud was a strange experience, but he didn't feel self-conscious or annoyed in the least. It was only Hinata after all, and he knew she was listening to every word when she politely interrupted to ask what his elemental jutsu was.

"You should know." He smirked even if she couldn't benefit from the teasing expression. "You said you could feel it."

Hinata blushed prettily. Maybe someday she would tell him he also _smelled_ like the powerful currents of electricity he wielded with formidable ease…and that she liked it very much.

Somewhere in between Fire and Water, she succumbed to the even timbre of his voice. Setting the book aside, he turned off the lamp and sunk down beside her. His eyes adjusted quickly to the fresh darkness and Sasuke studied her peaceful expression, for once turned towards him in trust and serenity as she slept. This is what he remembered: no suspicions, no barriers, no doubts, just her soft breaths and the warmth of her petite body entrusted to him for safekeeping from monsters in and out of her dreams.

He slowly traced his fingers across her forehead and down the curve of her cheek to stop on the soft velvet of her lips. They parted slightly at his touch and a whisper of breath warmed his fingers.

_Mine._

Sinking down onto the pillows, Sasuke slid his arm around her waist and gently pulled her against him. He froze when she murmured unintelligible and snuggled into his chest. Releasing a soft breath of relief, he curled his form around hers and buried his face in her feathered hair.

He felt like a petty thief, stealing a few moments of intimacy from her unconscious body, but it was enough to satisfy his longing for everything else she wasn't yet ready to give. It shouldn't have been so difficult for a man of his skill and control, but the mere sight of her sweet face drove him crazy. She was his wife…and he was afraid to touch her, afraid of rejection from the one woman he _craved._

The cool silk of her pajamas slid softly against the bare skin of his chest with each breath she took, the thin barrier doing nothing to dull the feel of her sloping curves against his harder frame. He absently stroked his fingers along her back, savoring the softness of the material and mentally thanking Ino for encouraging Hinata to buy it. Surely she wouldn't have agreed to wear it if she too didn't hope that one day they would be more than just husband and wife by contract alone.

Brushing his lips across her temple, Sasuke allowed himself to slip into a half sleep, relishing the feel of her for as long as his waking mind would allow.

* * *

It was difficult to wake when the rhythmic thumping beneath her ear insisted on lulling her back to sleep. She felt warm and safe and she snuggled closer to the source, stilling when her fingers brushed over a contrastingly smooth and rough texture.

Her pillow shifted and her eyes fluttered open in confusion, but the darkness of her sight gave her no more answers than the darkness of her dreams. Frowning with the realization that her pillow was much harder than it should be, Hinata lifted her fist and punched it.

Sasuke jolted to awareness with a pained gasp, sending the small woman draped across his chest tumbling off the bed with a startled shriek. Wheezing and scowling at the rude awakening, he rubbed the petite sized bruise forming on his stomach.

_She sure hits hard for such a little thing._ Crawling to the side of the bed, he peered down at the tangle of blankets on the floor.

"What was that for?" he asked, watching her try to free herself from her silk and cotton prison.

At the sound of his voice, she squeaked and pulled the blankets over her head. "Gomen!"

Smirking at her ineffective means of retreat, Sasuke reached down and pulled the blanket off her head to find her face flushed nearly scarlet. He just barely managed to contain his laughter at her childish action.

"Hinata…."

"I thought you were my pillow!" She covered her face with her hands as if doing so would make her disappear.

Having seen her fluff her pillow the night before, suddenly his morning injury made much more sense. Shaking his head, Sasuke slipped out of bed onto the floor beside her and grasped her shoulders to help her sit up. Even then she refused to move her hands from her face and it took a few tugs to get her to relent.

"I _was_ your pillow."

Pearlescent lavender blinked a few times before her skin flushed anew and she buried her face in the closest hiding place, which happened to be his chest.

Sasuke looked down at the mortified girl with mixed amusement and exasperation. "Hinata?"

A muffled squeak was his only reply and since he had no real desire to push her away, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer. He rubbed circles on her back until she calmed down from her embarrassment, not that her current position helped much. A small shiver rippled through him when her small hands splayed on his chest to push away as far as his embrace would allow. She kept her face turned down, but he could still see bright tints of red on the rounds of her cheeks.

"Gomen. D-Did I hurt you?"

His scoff became strangled when her hand trailed down his chest in search of the bruise, leaving trails of fire along his skin. Entirely unaware of what her touch was doing to him, Hinata's fingers grazed over hardened muscle and stopped when she encountered the raw ridges of a recently healed wound. Silvery-lavender eyes narrowed in concern as she traced the dimensions of the scar, mentally gauging the type of weapon responsible.

Sucking in his breath sharply, Sasuke caught her hand to cease her explorations. No matter how much he enjoyed her uninhibited touch, he could see exactly where her medically trained mind was going and he had no wish to revisit that particular nightmare just yet.

"Do your fingers still hurt?" he asked, pulling her hand away from his body to inspect the burn. There was barely any redness remaining.

Hinata shook her head, a tiny frown pinching her brow. "No."

"Good." He kissed her fingers again, smirking at the swift change in her pallor and applauding himself for successful diverting her attention. He lifted them both up off the floor and she clutched at his arm for balance.

Hinata feared her skin would burn off completely from the amount of blushing she endured just in the space of a few minutes. If his touch alone had the means to unsettle her so, she could only imagine what a sight he must be judging from the curve of sinewy muscle flexing beneath her hands.

In a medical capacity, she had her professionalism to protect her from potential embarrassment when faced with the fine physique of Konoha's shinobi, but Sasuke was not a patient. He was her husband and her skilled fingers told her he was the finest male specimen she'd ever encountered. She didn't know what possessed her to run her fingers across his chest after discovering he wasn't wearing a shirt. For a moment she felt as though a wanton little vixen had taken over her body, reveling in the beauty she couldn't see, knowing it was hers alone.

The man was all lean, hard strength, and his spirit was equally so. It suddenly occurred to her that she was married to one of the most deadly and ruthless men in shinobi history. The hands that gently held her had killed many jonin and S-rank ninja. He could crush her without thought, for even with her sight she could never prove to be his equal.

The cold-hearted, blood-thirsty Uchiha Avenger was not the man she thought he would be.

Oblivious to her thoughts, Sasuke led her over to the closet and picked out a pair of pants and shirt for her, knowing she would want to work in her garden today. In the midst of running his errands while she was shopping with the girls, he'd encountered Shino and Kiba. Both men were barely tolerant of him, but he had no intention or desire to alienate Hinata's friends. They would be bringing more plants over for her later, rare species they collected while on a mission.

Piling the clothes in Hinata's arms, he turned her towards the bathroom and gave her a slight push. "Get dressed. Ami will be here soon."

Hinata took a few steps before turning back towards him. "Ami?"

Sasuke grabbed a shirt off the shelf and pulled it over his head. "We talked about this last night, Hinata. She'll take care of the cooking and cleaning and whatever else you need help with."

A shadow fell over her face and she quietly turned away and padded into the bathroom, closing the door softly. Sasuke sighed and ran a hand through his thick hair. A part of him wished she would've argued again, just to see a glimmer of the spirit lingering within, but he was also relieved that she accepted his decision without much fuss.

_It's for her own good, _he reminded himself, but the stabbing pang of guilt refused to subside.

Dressing quickly, he secured his weapons and trotted downstairs to grab something to eat before Naruto or Ami showed up. It bore no speculation on what miserable mission he'd been assigned today, as if being stuck with Naruto for most of the day every day wasn't penance enough. Okay not really, but he could do without his every decision being controlled by his gregarious friend. Having to follow Naruto's lead meant eating ramen every day for lunch and possibly dinner depending on how long their mission lasted.

The upside was that his missions would never exceed one full day and would always be within the village parameters, meaning he'd never be far from Hinata and would be able to return to her every night. A small smile tugged at his lips as he sipped his morning tea. Oh yeah. Being guaranteed a night with her warm little body cuddling his own was worth every miserable D-rank mission the Hokage threw at him, and then some.

A quiet knock on the front door told him who had managed to arrive first. Setting his tea aside, Sasuke stepped into the hallway just as Hinata descended the stairs.

"Is that her?" she asked.

"Hn." Sasuke took her hand and led her to the foyer.

Pushing the door open, he raised a brow at finding Naruto chatting amiably with the young woman he hired from the temp agency.

"Morning, Hinata-chan," the blonde said cheerfully as soon as he realized who was standing there.

"Good morning, Naruto-kun," she smiled.

"Give us a minute, Naruto," Sasuke said, stepping aside to let Ami in.

"Aw, come on. It's not like its top secret or anything," Naruto scoffed, following the pretty brunette into the foyer.

Swallowing a sigh of irritation, Sasuke fixed his dark stare on Ami. "We discussed the terms of your employment yesterday, however if there is anything additional Hinata needs help with, I expect you to do so. Understood?"

Ami smiled brightly. "Of course, Sasuke-sama." Turning tawny eyes on the petite girl standing next to him, she softened her voice. "Have you had breakfast yet, Hinata-sama?"

"Ano…no," Hinata raised an uncertain hand to her mouth.

"Then I shall prepare something for you," Ami beamed. "Could you please lead me to the kitchen?"

Raising her face towards Sasuke who remained stonily silent, Hinata sighed and turned away. "It's this way."

Sasuke and Naruto watched the two women disappear down the hallway, Ami chattering like a happy squirrel the entire way.

"She's not liking this, is she," Naruto murmured.

Frowning, Sasuke stepped out into the cool morning air. "She needs to accept her limitations."

Sliding the door shut, Naruto jogged to catch up with him at the gate. "You're not going to pull that crap with her too, are you? She's not helpless, Sasuke."

"I never said she was."

"Then why hire a caretaker?"

"Assistant," Sasuke hissed.

"Same difference. Either way, you're telling her the same thing everyone else keeps telling her."

His steps halted. _Is that what she thinks? That __**I**__ think she's useless?_

"She can't see, Naruto," he murmured. "She burned herself making tea because she can't_** see**__._" Tilting his head he met Naruto's focused gaze. "Tell me what am I suppose to do about that?"

Fair brows dipped and Naruto shook his head as he started walking again, Sasuke's near silent steps keeping pace. "Is she alright?"

"It was a minor burn, but it could've been worse." _A good deal worse._

"So this girl, Ami, she's just suppose to help Hinata around the house with cooking and stuff."

Sasuke nodded.

"Did you tell Hinata why?"

"_This is not going to happen again."_

"Yeah."

Naruto frowned. "Did you give her something to do while Ami is taking care of the house? I mean if Hinata has something to keep her busy maybe she won't feel, you know." He refused to say the word, loathed to hear it in connection with her because even without her sight, Hinata was anything but useless. No one with her determination could be written off so easily.

"She has her garden."

"Well that's something at least."

_But not enough,_ Sasuke mused.

"Say, have you talked to Sakura about resuming the eye treatments yet?"

Sasuke blinked at him. He vaguely remembered Naruto mentioning them when he first arrived in Konoha but…. "Sakura stopped treating her?"

"Hinata didn't tell you?"

Sasuke scowled. _Why wouldn't she tell me about something like that? Doesn't she want to continue the treatments?_

Naruto watched the changes in his expression thoughtfully. "Her last treatment was right before the wedding. As far as I know she hasn't gone back since."

"Was Sakura making any progress?"

"Don't know," Naruto shrugged. "Only she knows the details but if you ask me, a two percent chance is better than none." Grinning wryly, he pointed a thumb at his chest. "The Academy only gave me a two percent chance of graduating after all!"

Sasuke smirked at the memory of Naruto's pathetic cloning attempts. No one could've known then the raw potential the blonde possessed.

"I'll talk to Sakura. Now where are we going?"

Naruto's grin widened. "River cleanup."

_Crap._

* * *

"She's not so bad." Hinata patted the dirt around the edge of a plant.

Kiba and Shino exchanged incredulous looks.

"Not so bad?" Kiba echoed. That was quite an insult coming from Hinata.

"Well," she sat back and brushed her hands clean, "her cooking is a little bland."

Shino raised a silent brow.

"Not everyone cooks as well as you, Hinata," Kiba said wryly. _No one I know at least._

Frowning, Hinata picked at the grass beneath her. "I can't cook anymore, Kiba-kun." And that was the crux of the matter, wasn't it. Not two days in her new home and Sasuke had to bring in another woman to take care of what should've been _her_ duties. It wasn't that she particularly disliked Ami, but the girl was so much more capable than her, so much more of a woman. _I wonder if she is pretty too._

A shadow of dejection fell over her pale face and Kiba shot Shino a panicked look.

"The therapy was painful," Shino's low voice washed over her and she turned towards him in confusion.

"Huh?"

"The therapy," he repeated. "Why did you do it?"

Hinata fiddled with the cuff of her sleeve. "I-I wanted to walk again. I didn't want to be weak anymore." _I wanted to be strong for him._

Sunlight glanced off dark glasses as Shino tilted his head, peering at her from the corner of his eye. "What do you want now?"

Her fidgeting fingers stilled. "I…I don't know." A soft breeze filtered through the garden, shuffling the leaves of her plants into a whispering song. "I haven't had any treatments since before the wedding," she murmured. The week after learning she was married to Uchiha Sasuke and had been for months had been so marred with confusion, hope, and despair that she hadn't even considered returning to the hospital. What was the point now that she was a wife? The only thing Sasuke really wanted from her was children anyway. A woman didn't have to be able to see to have kids and the eye treatments were costly since Sakura was treating her on her own time and far past the allotted recovering timetable.

"You haven't told Sasuke about them?" Kiba remarked in disbelief.

Hinata shook her head. She was afraid to approach the subject, especially since he hired Ami to watch over her in his absence. What if he said no?

"Hinata." Shino's warm voice pulled her from the downward spiral. "What do _you _want?"

_What do I want?_ Fisting her hands in her lap, Hinata scowled at whatever unlucky object lay before her in her personal darkness. "I want to be myself. I want to be a-a ninja and a medic…." Her determination faltered and her fists loosened. "But I can't."

Shino shared a knowing glance with Kiba, picked up another marking post for the garden and pressed it into her hand. "Ninja's fight. Medic's heal. What part of this is beyond you?"

Her fingers curled around the post. "Without my sight…." She faded off. There was no reason to continue. Blindness itself _was_ the reason.

"The shinobi who sees with his eyes alone, sees only one fifth of the world."

Hinata wrung the post with her hands. There was some truth to Shino's words. Her sense of smell and hearing already equaled Kiba's and she was often able to sense the presence of objects before coming in contact with them, though the distance was quite minimal. With some work, she may be able to widen her range. _Demo…._

"Demo, my juuken is dependent on the Byakugan. How am I to hit a target I cannot see?"

"That's easy," Kiba said brightly. "Hit the one you feel!"

Sightless eyes turned towards him, her brow scrunched up in confusion. "The one I feel?"

"Chakra perception," Shino said, digging another hole for the next plant.

Kiba shot him a scowl when he didn't elaborate. "Most ninja have the ability to sense chakra, but it's indistinct to them," he explained. "One is just like the other but they know enough to sense where the enemy is and hide their own chakra signature. But you told us once that everyone's chakra _is _different."

Hinata nodded slowly, touching a thoughtful finger to her lips. "Like fingerprints."

"Exactly!" Kiba beamed. "I don't know anyone else who can tell one person from another without even looking at them or hearing them like you can."

"Ano, demo, I can only identify a few people that I know well."

"A few is better than none," Kiba waved her off nonchalantly. "Besides, as long as you recognize your allies, everyone else is fair game." He grinned toothily, one fang peaking out over his lip and in her mind's eye Hinata could see the familiar expression.

Biting her lip thoughtfully, she leaned forward to push the marking post into the soft soil. _I know I'll never be able to serve in a jonin capacity again but maybe I can train if only a little. If I'm to have a family, I want to be able to protect it when Sasuke-kun isn't around. Surely he wouldn't deny me that…would he?_

Unfortunately, there was only one way to find out.

* * *

**Blah…-** Actually, my use of the term _femme fatale_ was in its purest French form as it literally means "fatal woman". All uses of the _femme fatale_ stem from this original meaning, including the film noir persona. The _femme fatale_ character is not limited to film noir and in fact appears in every genre as she is "an alluring and seductive woman whose charms ensnare her lovers in bonds of irresistible desire, often leading them into compromising, dangerous, and deadly situations." (said best by wikipedia) The true essence of a Kunoichi, in my opinion, and thus a fitting name for a lingerie store frequented by them. ;-)

**Also **thanks to _**MDZ, Starfire201, Jay_chAn, Castiel, HANA CHAN, Graciela, Ingrid, YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY, **_and _**Chibi Shy Shadow Reader (one of many) **_for all of your wonderful reviews. Now where did I put my sun block…


	17. in Fear

**A/N- **Well I am just drowning in fan art now. **Keru-arashi **(her deviant name because she can't change that like she can change her FF name :-P) did some art for the last four chapters, a new style for her so go check out the link in my file. Also, for the fans of The Possession and Ryukaze_, _**lori286787 **(her deviant name) did some art work for those two stories. You gotta take a look, especially the one for Ryukaze. Very awesome. All of the links are in my profile under the corresponding story title.

Okay, enough with all that. Settle in for 23 pages of…well I'm not giving it away!

**Disclaimer: **Kudos to Kishimoto for giving me something great to play with.

Enjoy!

_**Ikigai**_

**in Fear**

**Chapter 17**

Hinata pressed her back to the wall just around the corner from the stairwell, listening to Ami move about downstairs. The woman's movements were almost painfully loud in the silence of the compound compared to Sasuke's innate stealth. After a few minutes, she heard the front door open and close and the passive chakra signature belonging to her "assistant" faded from her senses.

Breathing a soft sigh of relief, Hinata slumped and leaned her head back against the wall. Just a few minutes prior to her leaving, Ami helped her prepare for bed and bid her goodnight. The woman was polite, always addressing her as "Hinata-sama" and wasn't altogether patronizing. But there was something about the overtly kind Ami that she didn't like, some nameless quality she couldn't quite put her finger on.

Very rarely did she ever encounter someone she didn't like, so she found herself faced with the unsettling certainty that she was jealous of the girl. She was jealous because Ami could so easily provide the things she couldn't. Things like cooking and cleaning weren't really something to be jealous of, but despite Ino's assurances, she didn't know how else she could be a proper wife to Sasuke. She was supposed to take care of him and his home…but now he had Ami to do that.

Forcing her depressing thoughts away from the hired help, Hinata reached for the railing on the steps, carefully making her way downstairs. While she hadn't expected Sasuke to be gone so long today, at least it gave her time to formulate her request. Not wanting to burden his already busy schedule, she decided she would ask him permission to train with Neji. After all, her cousin was a master of the Byakugan and Juuken. If there was a means for her to adapt her technique to her current circumstances, he would be the one most capable of helping her find it.

Reaching the bottom of the steps, she rounded the turn and padded towards the kitchen, her bare feet quietly slapping the warm wooden floor. It hadn't taken long to memorize the compound and all of its contents after Sasuke took the time to take her through on their first night together. Unlike within the Hyuuga compound, she was free to move as she pleased here, never fearing running into a piece of repositioned furniture or an unfamiliar wall.

Turning to enter the kitchen, Hinata winced as her hip bumped a sharp corner. The sound of something tottering had her instinctively reaching out for the unknown object and she felt something cold and hard graze her fingers before it crashed and shattered on the ground. She jumped and shrieked when a dozen sharp edges dug into her unprotected feet. Tripping in the rush to remove herself from the pain, she tumbled to the ground with another yelp, spears of fire biting into hands and arms.

Gasping for breath, Hinata forced herself to remain still in her twisted position. Broken shards of porcelain surrounded her on all sides, jagged edges waiting in the darkness. She could sense them, danger unseen patiently awaiting its unwary prey.

Pressing her forehead against her arm, she forced herself to breathe through the pain, small tears trickling down her cheeks with the effort. One minute stretched into the next, the discomfort in her twisted back growing into a bone deep ache, the fire flickering at her wounds numbing and piercing with each shallow breath. Hours may have passed before she finally heard the front door open and close. The familiar caress of Sasuke's chakra forced more tears from her eyes. He would find her, and then….

The floor vibrated gently with his silent steps, but the air changed the moment he saw her laying still and silent in the midst of porcelain shards.

"Hinata!"

Sasuke sprinted down the hallway and skidded to a halt beside her. Dropping to his knees, he laid a hesitant hand on her shoulder. His heart pounded so hard he almost couldn't hear her strained breaths that assured her to be alive. Seeing her lying still as death in a splattered ring of blood and broken shards nearly shattered his tightly reigned emotions. The scene was too familiar and for one terrifying moment, he feared his brother was not quite as dead as he first thought.

"Gomen."

Her whispered apology snapped him back to the present and he shoved the memory of blood and death to the back of his mind.

"What happened," he demanded, surveying the scene. A small table leaned innocuously against the wall, no doubt having bore the vase that now lay in pieces around Hinata's prone body. Most of the blood surrounded her feet and he winced at the damage he knew he would find there.

"Gomen," she whispered again, short strands of hair hiding her face as she kept it pressed to her arm. Her small body trembled from the pain and continued effort to remain still in her awkward position, but she made no effort to complain. "I was careless."

Sasuke frowned at the familiar words, her exact explanation for the burn she received from her attempt to make tea the day before. _At least she had the sense to stay still to avoid further injury. _Brushing the circle of shards away so he could get closer, he carefully gathered her into his arms and lifted her off the floor. With her face no longer hidden, he could see silver streaks of tears and the raw tinge of red from her biting her lip to withstand the pain. _How long was she lying here like this?_

She remained limp and listless as he carried her upstairs and laid her on their bed. Retrieving the first aid kit from the bathroom, he sat beside her and carefully pulled every last sliver of porcelain from her flesh. Not once did she make a sound of protest or pain. Binding up her cuts with soft cloth, Sasuke finally sat back and ran a frustrated hand through his hair.

"When did Ami leave?" he asked.

"I don't know."

Frowning down at the blood-stained rag in his hands, Sasuke made a decision.

"I'm going to have her stay full-time."

Hinata's head snapped up with wide eyes. "N-nani? Demo, why?"

Balling up the cloth, Sasuke tossed it into the trash pail against the wall. "This wouldn't have happened if someone else was here."

Hinata fought the urge to shiver at his darkly emotionless voice. "I can take care of myself," she insisted, her voice meek but firm.

Sasuke snorted. "Obviously."

Irritation flared in her chest and she fisted her hands, wincing at the flare of pain from her new wounds. "It was an accident!"

"Like the teapot?" he sneered. "How many accidents will it take before you figure out you can't live like everyone else?"

Anger and pain clashed in her chest and tears she swore she would never cry in front of him exploded from her eyes. Rolling onto her side, Hinata buried her face in her pillow and wept bitterly.

Sasuke eyes widened, hand half raised to touch her and tell her he didn't mean a single word, not the way she thought he did. She wasn't useless, not to him, but she was helpless in so many ways and her refusal to let him take care of her in the only way he knew how burned harshly.

Curling his hand into a fist, he abruptly stood and stalked into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. Even through the thickness of the wood, he could feel each shuddering, heartbreaking sob and he slumped to the floor, bracing his head in his hands.

_Why won't she trust me in this? Why won't she let me protect her?_

Slamming his fist into the floor, Sasuke swore under his breath. He knew he made the right decision, so why did every one of her tears feel like senbon stabbing him in the chest?

Pushing himself up, he stripped off his clothes and turned on the shower to drown out the sound of her crying. Scalding hot water burned across his skin, but he made no move to adjust the temperature until he was entirely numb to the heat. Then he shifted the nozzle to cold, sucking in his breath sharply at the stinging contrast. When every last inch of dirt and grime and feeling had been washed down the drain, he stepped out to dry off.

The silence that greeted him in the bedroom was thick with the scent of salt and misery. Hinata didn't so much as flinch when he climbed into bed, her face still buried and body half-turned away from him. Her breathing was quick and shaky, small hands clutching the pillow tightly despite the pain it must invoke.

"Don't touch me," she bit out and Sasuke froze mid-reach. There was nothing venomous in her tone, merely the absence of all feeling.

Scowling darkly at the guilt that threatened to make him second guess his decisions, Sasuke looped his arm around her waist and pulled her firmly against him. She made no effort to fight him, but her body remained ridged and stiff, unforgiving.

"This is for your own good, Hinata," he said, arm tightening.

She remained silent, silver droplets slipping down her cheeks and he clenched his jaw to keep himself from taking back his words if only to stop her tears. Pressing his face into the crook of her neck, he place soft kisses against her skin in an effort to placate her, but not for a moment did her body relax even when she finally succumbed to exhaustion.

Holding her as close as physically possible, Sasuke remained awake for several more hours, wondering if she would ever forgive him for this.

* * *

The world had fallen from beneath her; stolen, broken into tiny razor-edged shards lodging in her heart like fragments of splintered bone. She had but one purpose in life, one reason for breathing…to breed a new clan of ruthless Uchihas.

A brood mare didn't need to think nor feel. She was to eat the food placed before her, groom herself to please the eyes, and submit herself to please her master. None of these took effort, so she extended none.

Each morning, another woman dressed her, fed her, and cared for her house. Each night that same woman prepared her for bed and left her to await the one who had reduced her life to this mere existence.

She let him hold her at night because she knew it pleased him and some part of her that claimed to still be real and alive _wanted_ to please him. He never tried to do more than that but she knew he wanted to. His frustration was palpable, but she had nothing to give from her hollowed out soul. If he wanted children from her then he should just take them, just like he took everything else. She wouldn't fight. She had no reason to fight anymore. He was the only reason she fought for as much as she had, but it clearly hadn't been enough. If it had, he would have no need for _that _woman.

It'd been three days since she last spoke to her husband. His word was law and he had no intention of retracting it as he made it more than clear with his harsh words that night. Sasuke knew she was damaged when he deceived her into signing the marriage contract, and yet she'd hoped and honestly believed that he might see more in her than just a means to restore his Clan. He allowed her the garden and encouraged her pursuit of medicine when others scoffed at it. That night she'd been prepared to ask him to allow her to continue her eye treatments with Sakura and to seek training with her cousin. Now she realized such a request was foolish. Sasuke didn't trust her to even care for herself around the house. Never would he allow his _brood mare_ to take up ninja training as well.

Sipping the tea placed before her, Hinata grimaced as her stomach turned uneasily. She couldn't be certain if it was Ami's cooking or her mere presence that bothered her so. The girl was mediocre at best in the culinary arts and her chatter had become increasingly steady since she moved in two days ago. Hinata didn't mind talkative people usually (she could listen to Naruto talk about ramen for hours), but there were little things that slipped into Ami's words, subtle hints that couldn't be ignored.

At first it was offhanded remarks about her plain appearance such as, "I'm sure with a bit of makeup Sasuke-sama won't notice at all." Hinata had been called plain all her life and took no offense to Ami's consistent remarks on her lacking beauty, though she could do without the tightly pulled obis on her kimonos meant to "reduce that pudgy figure."

She tugged futilely on the cloth bound around her middle that limited her breathing and movement to an almost painful extent. Her protests had been ignored in the face of "beauty" and "propriety." It didn't take long for Hinata to understand that while she was mistress here, Ami had the run of the house…and her.

She couldn't be certain if the girl intentionally treated her as helpless as Sasuke seemed to think she was because her voice was thick with sincerity and concern when she spoke, always soft and gentle like a mother's lullaby, even when her words were condescending.

Despite her inexplicable dislike for the woman and the reason for her presence, she'd become grateful for it in some ways. The first time she vomited up her breakfast, Ami held her hair and rubbed soothing circles on her back. She was attentive and kind, an ideal nurse. The sudden bouts of illness were unexpected and unpredictable. One moment she would be fine, quietly tending her garden, and the next she would be clutching her stomach in pain as her past meal revolted on her.

Sasuke never said a word about her loss of weight. _Perhaps he thinks I'm too pudgy too_, she thought morosely, setting her tea on the tray and pushing it aside. She'd asked Ami not to mention the strange bouts of illness, knowing it would only reinforce Sasuke's belief in her frailty. Perhaps he might decide he made the wrong choice in marrying her and push her aside like a half eaten meal. _Then he could be with Ami and have that perfect wife he wants so badly._

Her hands curled into fists at the thought of Sasuke holding someone else the way he held her at night. Ami was a strong capable woman, pretty, useful, and Sasuke was a handsome, virile man with needs that were not being met by his trinket wife.

Pale tears slipped down her cheeks and her shoulders slumped. _Is that why he wants her to live here? To be my replacement?_

"Hinata-sama!" A cheerful voice that she was beginning to loathe called out from behind her and she quickly brushed away signs of distress from her face.

"Hai."

"You have a visitor," Ami sang happily.

Sniffing back the remnants of tears, Hinata concentrated on the chakra signature dwarfing Ami's inactive one and felt a true smile tug at her lips. "Nii-san."

Neji fixed his impassive gaze on the overly cheerful woman who had answered the door. "Leave us," he ordered flatly.

The pretty brunette looked up at him in surprise, a faint flicker of anger and annoyance in her eyes before she smiled brightly. "Hai!" she chirped.

Neji watched her depart with his active Byakugan to be certain she was out of hearing range before he joined Hinata on the porch step.

"Who is she?"

"Ami," Hinata said, shifting to face him. "Sasuke-kun hired her to stay with me." She could feel his silver eyes roam over her face, trying to read what she wasn't saying and for once, Hinata didn't try to hide behind a mask. She was tired of hiding.

"You don't like her," he surmised. He didn't either, but that was unimportant…for the moment. There was something about the girl that wasn't quite right. Obviously this Ami thought herself more mistress here than Hinata given the way she reacted to his dismissal.

Hinata played with the cuff of her sleeve. "Is she pretty?" she asked softly. She always suspected Ami's physical appearance matched her voice, but she hadn't dared ask anyone else to confirm it. Knowing it was true would only make her fears all that much more real.

Neji frowned at the question and the way Hinata adverted her gaze even when she could see nothing through it.

"Not like you," he said warmly. _That woman's only been here a few days and already she has Hinata questioning her worth. Something more is going on here._

A faint blush painted Hinata's cheeks and she smiled shyly at his sincere compliment. "She's an awful cook."

Neji chuckled. "Definitely not like you, then."

Her smile widened at his laughter, brightening her too pale face. She didn't look well at all, features drawn and lacking color and he was certain she'd lost weight since he last saw her six days ago. No sooner did he get back from his mission and sort things out with Tenten and he was called in again. His worry for Hinata in his absence had been eased with Tenten's assurance that Sasuke might actually have feelings for his cousin, but if that were true then why did Hinata look like she was about to fade from existence?

"You've lost weight." Sometimes the direct approach was best.

Her smile turned brittle. "Ano, I haven't been feeling well."

"Did Sasuke take you to the hospital to get checked out?"

Hinata shifted uncomfortably and turned her face away, short strands of raven hue concealing her expression. "We…haven't talked in a while."

Slender brows furrowed in concern. "Hinata, what happened?"

Her shoulders hunched as if she were awaiting a blow. "W-we had an argument."

It didn't take a genius to figure out the reason, but Neji was grateful to be one in any case.

"About Ami-san."

Hinata nodded and then she sighed. "Maybe…maybe I was wrong."

Neji tilted his head to try to glimpse her face. "About what?"

Her shoulders started to shake and crystal droplets dripped onto her kimono. "Everything," she sniffed.

His arms were around her in an instant and she buried her face in his shirt, clutching folds of cloth in her desperate little fists. Neji held her tightly while she sobbed quietly into his chest, tucking her head beneath his chin to encompass her in his strength and warmth. Not since she first returned to them had he seen her this broken, so ready to give up the fight.

When her crying subsided and his shirt was thoroughly soaked, Neji threaded his fingers into her hair and tugged her head back to stare into spiritless lavender eyes.

"Tell me everything."

* * *

"Sweet Hokage, you're in a fine mood today," Naruto yelped, ducking past a splintering tree.

Sasuke pulled his hand from the shattered bark and shook off the sting of scrapped skin, crimson eyes following the rapid escape of his current opponent. "Quit jumping around and fight, dobe," he growled.

Naruto landed on a high branch and peered down at his old friend and rival. From the moment they first stepped onto the field, Sasuke'd been trying to take his head clean off, but his moves were sloppy despite the violence behind them. He ought to have landed a hit by now, which only added to his already exponential frustration.

"Seriously, what's stuck up your craw?" Naruto asked.

Sasuke's reply was nothing short of a snarl and a flying back kick. "Shut up and fight!"

Naruto crossed his arms in front of him and took the hit, letting the momentum carry him down to the ground where he landed in a graceful crouch. "Fine," he glared. "You want bloody and bruised, I'll give you bloody and bruised!"

_Finally_, Sasuke thought, leaping forward to meet Naruto's onslaught of shadow clones. Three days. Three freaking days since Hinata last talked to him. Apparently she wasn't quite as forgiving as he hoped she would be, or he'd hurt her more than he anticipated.

He couldn't understand why she was being so stubborn about this. It was for her own good. She was blind. That wasn't going to change and she needed to accept that there were some things she simply couldn't do anymore. Ami's presence was as much for his peace of mind as it was for Hinata's benefit. Knowing that someone was there to watch over his accident-prone wife made it easier to focus on his missions.

_Or not_, he grimaced when Naruto landed a solid punch to his gut.

She still let him hold her at night, not that he gave her much choice but at least she didn't complain. Of course a complaint or two would be a welcomed relief to this ongoing accusing silence.

_What more does she want from me?_

Naruto's fist abruptly cut off his thoughts with a cutting blow against his jaw and he hit the ground with a solid thud felt through every bone. _I deserved that one_, he grimaced, bringing a hand up to wipe blood from his cut lip.

"Now that I've got your attention," Naruto panted as he stood over him, "do you mind telling me what's going on in that crazy head of yours? You've been like this for days!"

Sasuke grunted and slowly pulled himself up. "Just forget about it, Naruto," he muttered, rubbing his jaw. The fierce taijutsu battle had been enough to blow off some pent-up steam, but he didn't really feel any less frustrated.

"Uchiha."

Both shinobi turned to see Neji striding across the meadow, expression eerily blank.

"Hey, Neji, what's u—," Naruto froze when Neji suddenly blurred and Sasuke went hurtling into a tree.

Gritting his teeth, Sasuke pried himself free and glowered at the Hyuuga. "What was that for?"

Neji's stance dipped. "If you haven't figured it out yet, then I didn't hit you hard enough!"

Sasuke jumped away from the tree just as Neji's palm collided with it, shattering the trunk.

Naruto raised an awkward hand. "Um, not to interrupt, but did I miss something?"

The two prodigies glared at each other, chakra sizzling in the air.

"I just spoke with Hinata," Neji finally bit out.

"Hinata," Naruto echoed with wide eyes before turning a sharp glare on Sasuke. "What did you do?" he demanded.

Sasuke's jaw clenched. _I wasn't wrong! _"It's for her own good," he ground out.

"Have you even looked at her lately?" Neji demanded, palms curving into fists. "She's sick. She's losing weight. She says she hasn't talked to you in **three **days and you brought another _woman_ into your home—."

"To take care of her!" Sasuke yelled back, anger and frustration burning anew.

"She doesn't need anyone to take care of her! The only thing she needs is for you to believe in her and you can't even do that," Neji snarled. Pulling up from his threatening stance, he kept his fists balled tightly to prevent himself from ripping into the man like he desperately wanted to. "I'll give you one more chance, Uchiha, because for _some_ reason she _wants _to be with you. But if I _**ever**_ see her cry like that again, I'll kill you."

Sasuke's jaw twitched as Neji turned and leaped into the trees. The entire left side of his chest burned as much from the hit he had taken as the words hurled with painful accuracy.

He _had_ stopped believing in Hinata. One look at her bloodied feet and he wrote her off as incapable and helpless, just like he did when he first laid eyes on her in Kabuto's lab. Maybe that made him just like everyone else in that stuffy clan of hers, but he hated seeing her hurt. What kind of man was he if he couldn't protect his wife from injury in their own home? Was it a matter of pride…or fear? After all, if Hinata didn't need someone to take care of her….

_Then she doesn't need me._

"What does he mean Hinata's sick?" Naruto's voice pulled him back to earth.

Glancing at accusing and worried blue eyes, Sasuke shook his head once and sprinted into the trees.

Then there was that.

_I thought she felt thinner when I held her last night, but I couldn't be sure. If she's been sick, why hasn't she told me? Better yet, why hasn't __**Ami**__ told me? She's supposed to be watching over Hinata._

He was only half aware of Naruto's chakra following at a distance when he landed in the courtyard of his compound. With silent steps, he pushed open the door and quietly shut it behind him. Taking a moment to suppress his chakra so that Hinata wouldn't sense his presence as she often did, he stealthily stalked down the hallway towards the kitchen where he could hear Ami fixing lunch.

Sidling up to the doorframe, Sasuke peered into the room to see Hinata sitting primly at the table, back ramrod straight with her hands folded neatly in her lap while Ami fixed tea at the stove. Neither woman was aware of his scrutiny and he took a moment to study Hinata more closely.

She _was_ thinner, not just around her waist but her arms as well. Either she hadn't been eating or her body was not making use of what sustenance it was receiving. Her breathing was labored too, short gasping pants as if she'd been walking fast instead of just sitting. There'd been nothing wrong with her breathing that morning, deep and even while she slumbered, so it might have something to do with her clothing. The obi looked to be tied awfully tight.

The red rimming beneath her eyes contrasted sharply with her stark white pallor and he knew she'd been crying fiercely. _**I **__made her cry like that_, he winced.

"Ah, here is your tea, Hinata-sama." Ami turned away from the stove with teapot in hand and Sasuke slunk further back into the shadows. The woman he hired to watch over his blind wife poured green tea into a ceramic cup with all the grace of a well-trained lady. Setting the teapot down, Ami reached into her sleeve and withdrew a small bottle, dropping several clear droplets into Hinata's tea before putting the bottle back into her sleeve and offering the cup to Hinata.

"Careful, it's hot," Ami warned, gently curling Hinata's slender fingers around the cup.

"Arigato," Hinata whispered.

The sweet sound of her voice denied to him for three days froze him in place. Distant warnings clanged inside his mind as he watched her raise the cup to her previously silent lips and blow gently on the steaming liquid. Just as she pressed the cup to her lips, he snapped back into reality and stepped into the room.

"Put it down, Hinata."

Both women jumped in shock and Hinata yelped when hot tea spilled over her wrist. Before she could drop the cup and its contents, Sasuke grabbed her arm and snatched it from her grasp. Using his sleeve, he quickly dried her wrist and scowled at the pink patch on her otherwise fair skin.

"You startled us, Sasuke-sama," Ami twittered with a hand over her heart. "Did you forget something that you came back?"

Gently lowering Hinata's hand into her lap, he turned dark eyes on the brunette.

"Give it to me."

Green eyes blinked at him in confusion. "Excuse me?"

"The bottle in your sleeve. Give it to me, now." His eyes shifted to Sharingan red and chakra crackled at the tips of his fingers.

Ami took a wary step back. "I don't know what you—."

Sasuke grabbed her arm and yanked her to him, slipping his other hand into her sleeve to grasp the hidden bottle.

"Let go!" she shrieked, trying to twist free. "You're hurting me!"

Hinata's wide eyes shifted back and forth across the room. "Sasuke-kun?"

"Stay there, Hinata," he ordered sharply. Tightening his grip on the struggling woman, he jerked her out of the room.

"You—what are you doing? Let me go!" Ami twisted and clawed at him as he dragged her down the hallway and slammed open the door on a startled Naruto.

"Hey, what's with the—," Naruto cut off when a flailing woman flew into his chest. "Oomph!"

"He's crazy!" Ami shrieked, latching onto the wide-eyed blonde. "He keeps talking about returning to Sound and destroying Konoha!"

Naruto shot the hysterical girl an incredulous look before meeting Sasuke's still active Sharingan. "Is this girl sane?"

Naruto's unfazed reaction to the girl's desperate attempt to gain an ally calmed the rage building in his chest and Sasuke's eyes shifted back to flint hard obsidian. "She's been poisoning Hinata," he said, glancing down at the bottle in his hand.

The blonde's befuddled look darkened instantly and his hand clamped down hard on Ami's arm, making the girl wince. "I'll meet you at the hospital after I drop her off with Anbu."

Sasuke nodded sharply and turned back into his house, tucking the bottle safely into his weapons pouch. Striding into the kitchen, he hesitated when he saw Hinata still sitting where he told her to, eyes wide and panicked as she clutched at her chest. Swiping a kunai from his pouch, he yanked her to her feet and slashed the obi. The cloth fluttered to the ground and she slumped against him, shuddering with a sharp intake of breath. Holding her securely while she struggled to fill her deprived lungs, Sasuke scowled at the empty kitchen.

_Poisoning her wasn't enough, she had to suffocate her too?_

"Daijobou?" he asked softly when her breathing started to ease.

Hinata nodded, face still pressed against his shoulder as she clutched his shirt with her small hands. Tucking the kunai back into his pouch, Sasuke scooped her up into his arms and carried her upstairs, all the while trying to avoid sneaking a peak through the loosened folds of her kimono.

_Now really isn't the time for that,_ he berated himself, setting her down on the toilet in the bathroom. Color blossomed in her too pale cheeks when he pulled away and she clutched the folds of her kimono tightly. His arrival had been unexpected for sure, but his actions even more so. As she listened to him move around in their bedroom, she wondered what he'd done with Ami and why he had attacked her in the first place.

"Get dressed," he said, laying a pair of pants and one of her button down shirts on her lap. "I'm taking you to the hospital."

Her lips parted automatically to ask why, but a calloused finger pressed against them and silenced her.

"Just do it." His voice softened. "Please."

Hinata sat stunned for several minutes after he closed the door to give her privacy. Her mind refused to move the muddle of confusion as her body worked independently to obey. Once she changed, she stepped out of the bathroom only to be swept up again. Squeaking, she latched onto his neck as he carried her down the steps and out the front door.

She buried her face in the crook of his neck and shoulder and held on for dear life as he leaped across the rooftops to Konoha's hospital. Inhaling the heady scent of earth and sweat, Hinata bit back a whimper of pained need at the feel of his strong arms holding her securely against him. Even in the midst of anger, frustration and pain, she still craved his warm embrace as much as she feared how easily it could undo her.

The wind entangling their hair calmed when he landed in the hospital courtyard and strode into the building. Hinata heard a few questions and orders to wait shouted out to him, but his long even stride never faltered as he continued down the hallways.

"Sakura."

The pink haired medic looked up as she slid a door closed. "Sasuke?" Her gaze settled on the woman in his arms, face buried in his neck and her lips tightened into a thin line. "This way."

Sasuke followed her into an empty room and moved towards the bed. "I think she's been poisoned," he said before Sakura could ask.

Hinata's head jerked up in shock and Sasuke hugged her closer for a moment.

"Do you have a sample?" Sakura asked, plumping the pillow.

Sasuke gently set Hinata down and unhooked her stiff arms from around his neck. Squeezing her hand gently, he released it to pull the bottle from his weapons pouch.

"I caught Ami putting this into her tea," he said.

Sakura's brow scrunched up. "Ami?"

Sasuke shifted uneasily beside the bed. "The woman I hired to look after Hinata when I'm not home."

A pink brow shot up at the uneasy tension between the two newlyweds and figured the woman's mere presence was a tender subject. "Shimizu Ami? Brown hair, green eyes, twitters a lot?"

Obsidian eyes narrowed sharply. "You know her?"

Sakura cursed and she strode to the door, slamming it open. "You!" She pointed to the nearest nurse. "Get this bottle to the lab and have its contents identified. Why are you still standing here? Move it!"

The nurse jumped and shot down the hallway as Sakura spun on her heal and strode back into the room. "You sure know how to pick them, Sasuke," she muttered, grabbing up her chart.

"Sakura…."

"The girl was president of one of your fan clubs back in the day. I get the feeling she never got over her obsession like the rest of us." She shot him a wry smirk before turning to Hinata. "Tell me your symptoms, Hinata, starting from the first day Ami started working for you."

Suddenly the center of focus, Hinata's eyes shifted back and forth in bewilderment. _Poison? Ami was…poisoning me? Why?_

"Hinata?"

A hand on her head and one grasping her hand pulled her from the confusion and she realized neither hand belonged to the same person.

"Your symptoms, Hinata," Sakura nudged again. "How have you been feeling?"

"Ano, my stomach hurts sometimes."

Sakura made a quick scratch on her chart, set it aside, and pushed the bottom of Hinata's shirt up to reveal her stomach. "Any vomiting?"

"Sometimes." She hesitated when the hand grasping hers tightened fractionally. "Demo, it comes and goes."

A soothing warmth penetrated her body and Sakura's gentle voice reached out to her again. "Was it always after eating or drinking by any chance?"

A soft frown pulled at Hinata's brow. "I…don't know." Much of the last few days were blurry.

"There's quite a bit of damage here," Sakura murmured. "Almost like your stomach has been eating itself. No wonder you've lost weight. In this condition, you're unable to process nutrients. Clever little brat, that one."

Sasuke had a few far more unpleasant names in mind.

"I can't even detect traces of the poison, so it must have a short lifespan, doing most of its damage immediately after consumption and then leaving the internal scarring to do the rest." Her eyes hooded as she sealed over a deep tear in the stomach lining. "In effect, you would have starved to death."

Sasuke stroked Hinata's limp fingers absently and stared at the smooth expanse of exposed skin. The damage was all internal, not a mark upon Hinata's flesh. How long would it have taken him to figure out what was going on if he hadn't caught Ami in the act? Would he have been in time?

"I'd advise miso based meals for a few days," Sakura said, the glow of her healing chakra fading. "The poison already ran its course since your last dosing, so you won't need an antidote. Is there anything else I'm missing?"

"She broke a vase and stepped on some porcelain a few days ago," Sasuke said, absently noting Hinata flinch.

"Hinata broke a vase?" Sakura mused, unwrapping the bandages around her feet. "That's odd. You're always so careful, Hinata. I thought you would've memorized the layout of the compound by now."

Sasuke's stomach roiled uneasily as he vividly remembered the infinite care Hinata had taken to learn each room in his home and their contents. "Hinata, where is the blue vase with red and green hummingbirds on it."

Lavender eyes shifted slightly towards him in confusion. "In the library."

He swore as he pulled away from the bed and fought the urge to put his fist through the wall.

Sakura glanced up from her inspection of Hinata's feet. "What's wrong?"

"That's the vase she broke. Ami must have moved it into the hallway knowing she wouldn't expect it to be there."

Hinata's hand curled into the blankets beneath her and slumped down into the pillows. Nothing seemed to make sense anymore.

"Well these have healed well," Sakura said, brushing a little chakra over the faintly tender wounds. "No infection or anything. You won't even feel them by tomorrow."

The door slid open behind her as she scooped up her chart and scribbled her findings down.

"I always said your fan girls were psycho," Naruto said, striding in. Sakura shot him a glare that made him flinch.

"Eh, except you of course, Sakura-chan." He laughed nervously and scratched the back of his head.

"She confessed already?" Sasuke asked in surprise.

"She didn't stand a chance against Ibiki. One look at him and she cracked like the nut she is. Started babbling nonsense about you trying to leave the village again and that she was trying to protect Hinata from you." He snorted.

"With the sample you gave me, you'll have no trouble putting her away for quite a few years," Sakura said, shaking her head. It was more than clear that Sasuke had no intention of leaving Konoha, at least to them. "No matter what she says, evidence is evidence and she had this one planned out from the start."

"Crazy hag," Naruto muttered. "Hey, how are you feeling, Hinata-chan?"

Feeling all attention rivet back on her, Hinata squirmed slightly. Everything had happened so fast and she was still trying to process it. Apparently gentle Ami had been out to kill her from the start. The strategically placed vase ensured her a permanent place in the compound and the means to poison her on a consistent basis. It was a little disquieting to have an enemy so close and never be aware of it. "Ano, I'm okay," she murmured though she felt anything but.

Sakura and Naruto shared a knowing look.

"Take her home, Sasuke," Sakura said. "Make her some miso and put her to bed. I'll come by tomorrow to check up on her."

"And don't worry about Tsunade-baachan," Naruto grinned, turning to follow Sakura out of the room. "You can clean out pig muck another day."

A smile tugged at Sasuke's lips. _Arigato, Naruto._

* * *

**A/N-** Some of you are probably wondering why Sasuke didn't take Hinata to the hospital when she injured her feet. Her injury just wasn't that serious and Sasuke was more than capable of attending it himself. Seriously, do you run to the hospital every time you get hurt?

**Lady wisdom-** The story is already finished in my files, I just edit each chapter for grammar and such individually as I post. So you don't have to worry about being left hanging. This story will be posted to completion like all of my stories barring any unforeseen circumstances. :-)

**Also **thanks to _**nuriiko, HANA CHAN, MDZ, Jay_chAn, Inaz, White Jade, Castiel, Graciela, Blah…, oluja, and The Player **_for all your wonderful reviews.

Okay chibi shy shadow readers. Make room for me under those tree branches so I can get out of this rain!


	18. in Trust

**A/N-** The question was raised regarding: if I already have this story completed in my files, why don't I update more frequently? The answer is simple. Time. I'm an adult so I don't exactly have a lot of it with all my responsibilities falling in on my head. And every time I post a chapter, it takes me _hours_ to edit and prep it for the smooth read you enjoy and this doesn't include all the time I take to respond to reviews. Every other week is the most frequent posting date I can give and it significantly cuts into what precious little time I have to write new stuff, so enjoy it while you have it. ;-)

**Keru-arashi** made another drawing for the last chapter so check out the link in my profile.

**Disclaimer: **same old, same old.

Enjoy!

**_Ikigai_**

**in Trust**

**Chapter 18**

If she did this every morning, Sasuke had to wonder where he'd been to have missed it.

_Probably on some nasty D-rank mission, _he grimaced.

For once, Hinata got up before him and he suffered a terrifying moment of panic when he woke to find her gone. How she weaseled out of his arms without waking him was a mystery. After quickly throwing some clothes on, he searched through the compound until he found her in the first place he should've looked: the garden.

She was simply sitting there, slender legs folded beneath her, hands resting in her lap and face lifted towards the sky, basking in the morning sun. A soft breeze toyed with the strands of hair about her pixie face and Sasuke slid down against a porch post to watch her for as long as she remained in this serene moment.

It took him hours to fall asleep last night, worry and guilt plaguing him like a bad case of emotional indigestion. Coming face to face with the possibility of losing her scared him more than he liked to admit and he only had himself to blame. He was the one who brought Ami into their home, placed Hinata in her care, and gave her every opportunity to destroy the woman he swore to shelter and protect.

He trusted a stranger over his own wife.

Rubbing the left side of his chest where a palm shaped pain still lingered, Sasuke reluctantly admitted that he deserved what Neji gave him and then some. All this time he'd expected Hinata to trust him and not once did he extend her the same respect.

_I don't deserve her_. But that really was a moot point now, wasn't it? He couldn't let her go if he tried.

Pulling free from his brooding thoughts, Sasuke found soft lavender eyes gazing at him…or rather just over his shoulder in that vacant, lost manner that tweaked something inside him.

Pushing himself up, he walked across the soft grass and sunk down beside her. "How are you feeling?" he asked quietly.

"I'm okay," she answered and the ball of tension in his chest dissipated with relief. After all had been said and done, he didn't know if she would be willing to speak to him again.

"Gomen, for being so much trouble," she whispered and Sasuke grimaced.

"Stop apologizing. You never do anything wrong." _I'm the one who should be apologizing…._

She opened her mouth for the inevitable and caught herself, a small blush of embarrassment painting her cheeks.

"Why didn't you tell me you were sick?"

From the corner of his eye he saw her fingers curl into her pants and she bit her lip, trying to find a less accusatory way of putting her words. Hinata never was one to rub salt in a raw wound even if he deserved it. He knew he answer anyway.

"You're not weak, Hinata," he said and pale eyes turned up towards him uncertainly. "I know that more than anyone."

A strange mix of emotions blanketed her face and he could tell she wanted to believe him and at the same time was afraid to.

_I'm breaking her, just like the rest of them._

"Demo," her fingers poked together, "I can't…do anything…anymore," her voice faded off into the morning breeze and showered over him like needlepoint rain.

Grasping her hand gently, Sasuke pulled it under his shirt and placed her palm flat over the scar left by his own blade. Pearlescent eyes widened and her brows furrowed in confusion. From the rough ridges marring the flesh, she knew the wound had been left to heal without the aid of chakra. Her fingers twitched with the instinctive need to seek out the dimensions and severity of the injury, but Sasuke's hand kept hers still with very little pressure.

Catching up her other hand, he tugged her closer until she was pressed against his side. Slipping her left hand under the back of his shirt, he placed it over the exit wound. This hand he released so that he could slide his arm around her waist and hold her. With her fingers free, Hinata traced the edge of the exit wound, mapping its size and placement in her mind. Her right hand remained pressed over the entry wound and she could feel his muscles twitch with each breath he took. It only took her a moment to process what her senses and knowledge were telling her and she turned wide eyes up towards his face.

"You should not have survived this," she said. The wound pierced just below his rib cage and could easily have nicked his liver. Without healing chakra to seal the internal bleeding….

"Do not underestimate what the thought of you can do," he whispered, his arm tightening around her.

_I did this? What does he mean, I…._ Memories clicked into place of warm, unmarred skin and a safe embrace. He didn't have this injury before he brought her back to Konoha. That meant…he might never have made it back to her. The man who dealt this blow had every intention of it being the last.

"Did it hurt?" she found herself asking. Almost instantly she felt his incredulous confusion. "Killing him," she amended.

No one had thought to ask, he realized. Naruto simply accepted it as fact as did everyone else when he returned to Konoha. Whatever love he once harbored for his brother had long since been dead and buried in the depths of memories and need for revenge. Killing Itachi had been his life-long purpose and once it was done….

"I felt…empty," he admitted quietly.

Hinata laid her head against his shoulder, fingers idly tracing the scar. "I know empty," she whispered.

His eyes slipped closed and Sasuke released her hand to wrap her up tightly in his embrace, burying his face in her feathered hair. Without purpose, no path before her, and whatever hope she harbored he had thoughtlessly crushed in his own over-active fears of losing her.

"I never meant to hurt you."

Hinata traced one last circle around the scar on his abdomen before pulling her hand out from beneath his shirt. Curling her fingers around the thick of his arm, she squeezed it gently. His muscles tensed and then slowly relaxed under her silent reassurance and she felt rather than heard him sigh.

Sasuke didn't know what he would've done if she'd withheld forgiveness. _Probably begged,_ he mused grimly. Part of him wondered if there were any limits to her mercy and he prayed there wasn't. Chances were he would need it again in the future, frequently no doubt.

Sliding his hands to grasp her shoulders, he pushed her back and she looked up at him curiously. For a moment he could almost believe she really saw him and not just with her eyes. His gaze fell to her lips and the desire to show her what he had so much trouble saying surged through him, but a wise shinobi knew when to move forward and when to retreat. Hinata had forgiven him. That was enough…for now.

Her tentative trust in him had taken a serious blow, so much so that she'd been afraid to tell him she was sick. He wanted her to turn to him for sanctuary, not run from him in fear.

"Do not hide such things from me again," he said as firmly as he could without sounding harsh. "If you are sick or injured, I want to know."

A reflexive apology lingered on the tip of her tongue and she bit it off quickly, remembering his earlier reprimand. His request, though spoken with the directness of an order, was such a little thing to give, so she nodded. It bothered her to keep things from him anyway.

"Ohayo!" a cheery voice hollered from the depths of the compound and both Sasuke and Hinata jumped.

Cursing himself for being so inattentive, Sasuke shot a glare at Sakura as she appeared on the porch.

"Don't give me that look," she scowled at him, planting a hand on her hip. "I knocked and no one answered and I told you I would be coming by." She eyed the quaint little picture before her with amusement. Hinata was nearly sitting in Sasuke's lap and his hands were still curled possessively around her shoulders.

"Did I interrupt something?" She smiled. _Looks like they worked some things out finally._

Hinata blushed furiously and scrambled to her feet. Annoyance flickered across Sasuke's face before he quickly blanked it out. "We were just talking." _Why am I explaining myself in my own home? _He shot a glance at Hinata's flushed features. _Oh…right._

Sakura winked at him before turning to Hinata. "How are you feeling, Hinata?"

"I feel fine," she said with a small smile.

"That's good, but I'd like to run a quick check, just to be safe. Come sit down for me." She plopped down on the porch and patted the wood loudly.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed as Hinata walked towards the origin of the sound and perched on the porch beside Sakura.

_Every shinobi has five basic senses, six if one counts chakra perception, and very few can identify individuals by their chakra signatures like Hinata can. With her enhanced chakra perception and the loss of her eyes, she still possesses the equivalent of five senses...._

"Everything feels right."

Sasuke blinked and focused on the pink-haired medic-nin as she withdrew her chakra from Hinata. "There is some minor scarring but that will fade in a few days. Any pain in your feet?"

Hinata shook her head. "They healed well, thank you."

"No problem," Sakura grinned.

"What about her eyes?"

Both women turned towards him with mirrored expressions of surprise and confusion.

"Huh?"

He fought the urge to roll his eyes at Sakura's articulate response. "Naruto said you stopped treating her eyes a few weeks ago."

Hinata raised an uncertain hand to press against her lips, but Sasuke kept his gaze on Sakura. Glancing at Hinata and then back to him, Sakura swiftly shifted into full medic mode.

"The chakra pathways and optical nerves have been melded together under the massive strain of prolonged use in the genjutsu. I've been able to heal some of the nerve endings and chakra channels, but most of them are indiscernible from the mass."

_A two percent chance almost sounds optimistic. _"You continued treatment anyway," he realized.

A smile flickered across Sakura's lips. "It was purely experimental, but we all decided it was worth the time and expense." Her smile slipped. "The treatments stopped when Otoya arrived. Without shinobi status, Hinata's case requires private funding and the Hyuuga were no longer willing to give it."

"Money is not an obstacle," he waved her off. "Tell me about these treatments."

A wealth of emotion spread across Hinata's face, settling into a mix of wonder and disbelief. _Is he…is he serious?_

Sakura crossed her legs and braced herself on her left hand. "At first I thought to attempt separating the optical nerves from the charka pathways and heal them individually. In some ways I was successful, but it was negligible and I could positively identify only a few of them. Tsunade-sama said without separation, there would be no hope of recovery and I have to agree…for a normal person."

Sasuke's brows furrowed. "Normal?"

"Hinata's a Hyuuga." She smirked at Sasuke's annoyed scowl. "Well she was born one in any case. She has far more chakra pathways in the temporal region than the average person. Her retina is like a spider web of chakra channels, enabling her to see in a 360 degree perimeter and through solid matter when activated. Since separating the fibrous nerves and chakra pathways is no longer an option, I thought it might be possible to heal them together as a whole."

Sasuke glanced at Hinata who was nibbling her lip in a most distracting manner. "Will it restore her sight?"

Sakura followed his gaze and her eyes softened. "I don't know. Like I said, it's purely experimental."

"Hinata."

She hesitantly turned towards him. "Hai?"

"Is this what you want?"

Lavender eyes blinked at him in surprise.

"It might not work," he reminded her hesitantly, "but if there is a chance…."

A chance. That was all she'd ever wanted, wasn't it? And he was giving it to her. Determination flared in her eyes and she nodded her head sharply. "Hai! I want to!"

A small smile curled Sasuke's lips at her renewed enthusiasm.

Sakura grinned. "We can start tomorrow if you like."

"Please," Hinata chirped.

Uncrossing her legs, Sakura stood and stretched languidly. "Great. Well, I have some more house calls to make. Certain shinobi have _issues_ coming to the hospital for treatment," she muttered.

Hinata giggled and Sasuke looked at her in soft wonder. When was the last time she laughed?

"Kakashi-san is still giving you trouble?" Hinata asked.

Sakura grinned wryly. "Some things will never change. My shift ends tomorrow at seven, so come find me in my office, okay?"

"Arigato, Sakura."

The pink-haired medic-nin did a double take at the softly spoken words. Never had Uchiha Sasuke ever expressed gratitude for _anything_ for as long as she had known him.

"Ah, sure, um, see you later," she said cheerfully and made a quick escape to hide her shock. _Naruto will never believe this!_

***

Hinata clung tightly to the muscled arm of the man walking beside her at a leisurely stroll. So much emotion bottled up in her throat that she hadn't been able to utter one coherent word since Sakura left them in the garden. So when Sasuke suddenly asked her if she wanted to visit her family, all she could do was nod her head.

All of her doubts and fears had been wiped away when Sasuke held her close the day before after freeing her from the confines of her obi. His chakra had pulsed violently against hers, echoing his barely leashed fury. Despite the violence raging within him, he'd been extraordinarily gentle with her.

When they returned from the hospital, he quietly made her some miso like Sakura told him to and carried her up to bed, tucking her in like a small child. Nothing was said between them, but she knew he had stayed awake long after she fell asleep in his embrace.

She could feel his regret and guilt, something he was obviously inexperienced with experiencing, but she hadn't expected him to go to such lengths to redeem himself. It wasn't a thoughtless concession either. His questions regarding the state of her eyes and Sakura's treatment had been thorough. Clearly he'd been thinking about it long before she ever decided to ask him for permission to continue the treatments.

There was so much about her husband that she didn't understand despite her experience with proud, stoic men. Sasuke's emotions, when he exposed them, burned fiercely hot in contrast to the ice she was used to from her cousin, but at least she always knew where she stood with Neji. Hinata didn't know if she held a piece of Sasuke's heart or if there was anything left _to _hold, but she knew now that she meant _something_ to him.

His words regarding the wound that penetrated straight through his body had been bouncing around her head ever since he spoke them.

"_Do not underestimate what the thought of you can do."_

Her fingers flexed around the arm she held.

_Without the aid of a medic-nin, he should've never been able to survive such a serious injury. It would have taken him months to heal the way that he did. All that time, _she bit her lip, _was he thinking of me? _

A part of her wanted to ask, needed to understand the enigma of his words, but neither of them were prepared to unearth the freshly buried memories. The thought of losing him made her stomach turn and she grasped his arm a little tighter than necessary.

Sasuke winced when dull nails dug in and glanced down at the blind woman beside him. Her face was a canvas of emotion alternating between confusion, wonder, joy and fear. Finally her expression smoothed out into a content calm and a smile tugged at the corner of his lips.

Whatever thoughts had been bouncing around her head must have settled into place, though he wouldn't mind knowing what had triggered such intense reflections of her inner mind.

Hinata was ridiculously easy to please, he realized after telling her they were going to visit her family. Those usually empty eyes brightened like stars, still shimmering from her anticipation of further eye treatments with Sakura. Within the space of a few minutes she had transformed, bursting with spirit and life and he knew this was the woman she'd been before her capture. This was the woman that had been trapped inside the broken creature he saved all those months ago, the spirit that stubbornly refused to die. This was the woman his soul craved.

_My light._

Laying a hand over the one mauling his arm, he gently pried her fingers loose and transferred her hand to his. A faint blush tinted her cheeks, but she didn't try to pull away. She never did.

When he came to Konoha, he vowed to protect and care for this woman whose mere memory pulled him from the dark void of death. The thought of those lavender eyes looking through him, seeing things in him no one was able to see anymore filled the hollow abyss left in the absence of revenge and she unknowingly gave him the one thing a man could not live without: purpose.

So far, he'd failed her miserably. The reality of her disability frightened him on a very basic level, the helplessness of her circumstances striking home with each seemingly self-inflicted injury. Eager to protect her from herself, too quickly did he disregard her very essence.

Hinata was a kunoichi. That would never change no matter what anyone said or did.

Watching her from the corner of his eye, Sasuke wondered how he managed to misread her so badly. Perhaps her skills of deception were far better than he gave her credit for. She always presented a calm, pleasant face to the world, emotions dancing across her pixie face like pictures in a children's book. One would never know she was hollowed within. Unlike him, she had no means to fill the abyss and what little hope she reached for, he had foolishly taken away.

"_The only thing she needs is for you to believe in her."_

Sasuke squeezed her fingers gently and narrowed his eyes on the compound looming before them.

_This time, I'll be __**your **__light, Hinata._

Knowing they weren't expected, Sasuke strode up to the door and knocked loudly. Barely even a minute passed before the door slid open on a glaring Neji.

"Uchiha."

"Hyuuga."

Silence stretched tensely between the two prodigies and Hinata shuffled her feet. "Ano, nii-san?"

Neji's eyes shifted to her and softened considerably. "Hinata-sama. How are you feeling?"

She blushed faintly. "I'm okay."

"Hinata, why don't you go find your sister," Sasuke suggested.

"She's training in the courtyard with Hiashi-sama," Neji added, his gaze holding Sasuke's evenly.

Hinata pressed a finger to her lips at the charge of tension in the air and nodded hesitantly.

Neji stepped aside to allow her to pass and shot Sasuke one last measuring glare before turning and following her. Feeling her way along the wall, Hinata turned right when the hallway branched and Neji turned left. Sasuke paused in the intersection and glanced after her for a moment to eye her sure steps before turning and following her cousin.

"Kana-san, please bring us some tea," Neji said to a young girl approaching them in the hallway. She glanced behind him at Sasuke, blushed, and quickly bowed.

"Hai, Neji-sama."

Sasuke fought the urge to roll his eyes as she scurried down the hall, choosing instead to follow Neji into the next room and sinking down onto his knees across from him. The two stared impassively at each other until Kana returned with a tray of tea, which she poured for both of them.

"Will there be anything else, Neji-sama?" she asked though her wide eyes remained riveted on the dark-haired Uchiha.

Pointedly ignoring her, Sasuke picked up his tea and sipped it while Neji politely dismissed her. Within minutes of the door closing behind her, Sasuke knew the entire Hyuuga compound would know he was there.

_Or sooner,_ he thought when he looked up to see Neji's Byakugan activate. His head turned sharply towards the door and Sasuke heard the patter of running feet rush to escape.

"Hinata's business is no one else's," Neji said. Deactivating his Byakugan, he turned his impassive glare on Sasuke. "Why are you here?"

Sasuke set his tea down, just in case Neji decided to lunge at him. "Hinata was poisoned."

Surprise flickered through silver orbs before they narrowed sharply. "That woman?"

"Is in Anbu custody, but that isn't why I'm here."

The muscle in Neji's jaw ticked with suppressed rage. Hinata had come to harm in this fool's keeping and the urge to rip into him was nearly impossible to resist. He tried to calm himself with the knowledge that the problem _had_been taken care of. If nothing else, Uchiha Sasuke was a thorough man. _But Hinata never should have been in danger in the first place._

"Is she talking to you again?" He decided to ask.

Annoyance flickered across Sasuke's face for a split second. "Yes."

A knowing smirk curved Neji's lips. "Did you grovel?"

Annoyance shifted to a scowl before Sasuke smoothed out his expression. "Do you want to help her or not, Hyuuga?"

Neji's lips twitched with amusement before he conceded that it was time to get down to business. "What do you want?"

_To burn that smirk off your face._ "A housekeeper from the Branch house."

The words had the same effect as a Grand Fireball jutsu, but didn't leave him with quite the same feeling of satisfaction when Neji's amusement vanished.

"Another caretaker for Hinata?" Neji sneered. "You're never going to learn."

"She'll cook and clean, nothing else," Sasuke said. "Hinata will be busy with other things."

Neji's glare turned suspicious. "What other things?"

Sasuke lifted his teacup and eyed it impassively. "Training."

Blessed silence filled the room. When Sasuke looked up, Neji's expression was unreadable.

"I know of someone who can be trusted."

A rare moment of understanding passed between the two prodigies and Sasuke nodded his appreciation. If nothing else, they could agree on this one thing.

Setting his tea down, he stood and walked to the door. Pausing with his hand on the frame, crimson red glanced back at stoic silver.

"You won't catch me off guard again, Hyuuga."

***

Her nerves tingled all up and down her skin and spine, but Hinata stubbornly refused to move one step from where she stood. Sasuke told her to wait here and that was exactly what she intended to do…regardless of the fact that "here" was just outside a store in the middle of downtown Konoha when the lunch crowd was only just thinning out.

Wringing her hands together, she pressed back against the wooden wall of the building in an effort to remain small and unobstructive to the flow of people. After leaving the Hyuuga compound, Sasuke had taken her to Ichiraku for lunch and then led her here. He said he would only be a minute but each passing second felt like a lifetime as she stood surrounded by noise and chatter amplified by the perpetual darkness.

A knot of panic solidified in her chest and she shrieked when someone suddenly touched her shoulder.

"Whoa, easy there," a strong hand grabbed her wrist and jerked her to a stop as she instinctively jumped away. "Didn't mean to startle you. Say, aren't you the blind Hyuuga who married the Uchiha?"

Hinata twisted her hand in an effort to free herself from the steel grip, immune to the naturally calming effect of the stranger's easy-going voice.

"Ano, p-please let me g-go."

"You know, I've been wondering," he continued as if she never spoke, "why did you do it? You're pretty, from an elite Clan, were even a medic once, so why do it? Why marry the _traitor_."

She froze when his soft voice hardened on that last word. Is that what everyone talked about now? Did they think she was a traitor too because she married Sasuke? In truth, she hadn't had much of a choice since she _had_ been married to him for months now without her knowledge. But she could've been free. If she truly wanted it, Neji and her father wouldn't have hesitated to terminate Sasuke and thus the blood binding contract.

But she couldn't do that. She couldn't go back on her word, especially to him because….

"He saved my life," she said quietly. He didn't have to, probably didn't even want to considering that he abandoned all sentiment and mercy in the pursuit of his revenge. But he did. It was that simple.

The stranger snorted. "Of course he did, so he could use you. You don't honestly think he cares for you, do you? He's just going to use you and throw you away when he gets what he wants, just like he threw away everything else."

Cold chills iced down Hinata's spine, but instead of fear and pain, she felt anger surge through her blood. Maybe once she'd wondered the same thing, but she knew without doubt that when she went to bed tonight, strong arms would hold her close without demanding anything in return. Sasuke never claimed to care for her and he didn't have to because he came _back_ for _her_, and that was enough.

"You don't know anything," she hissed. "Now let go!" With a swift twisting jerk, Hinata broke his grip and stumbled back away from him.

All the confusing noise and movement around her vanished into nothing as her senses reached out to focus on the threat before her and she wasn't the least surprised to sense waves of shock rolling off him. Whoever this man was, clearly he had forgotten that she'd once been a high ranking shinobi. Her maneuver had been simple child's play.

His shock shifted swiftly into amusement and something else she couldn't quite place, but it made her skin crawl and put her on edge.

"Such spirit," he murmured and Hinata jerked her head slightly to the left where an agreeing chuckle sounded.

_All this time there were two of them_. She cursed her disadvantage but still felt too angry with the accusations and assumptions to feel any real fear.

A soft shuffling step told her one of them was approaching and she raised her palms defensively. She hadn't tried to use any chakra since she returned, not knowing what kind of effect it might have on her or even if she was capable of using it anymore, but she only needed one hit to make it count. _Sasuke, where are you?_

"Maybe the Uchiha is on to something after all," that sickeningly gentle voice mused a bit too close for comfort. "Kitten by day, tigress by night."

Hinata took another step back.

"Once he's done with you, I'll take you for a ride myself," he chuckled and moved closer. "Maybe sooner."

Hinata braced herself for his advance when a pained yelp pierced the air followed by a chilling voice that stroked her nerves like cool water in desert heat.

"I don't share."

***

He could have interfered sooner if he wanted, but he was curious as to how Hinata would react. She was handling being alone on the crowded street rather well and he hoped she had used the opportunity to try to accustom herself to the turmoil of activity as had been his intention for leaving her there in the first place. His purchase didn't take but a minute so she wouldn't have been left to suffer if the noise and activity became overwhelming.

His body reacted before his mind even registered what it was doing when he heard her startled shriek. Despite his dislike for the familiar way the unknown ninja was touching her, he paused in the shadows to hear Hinata's answers. Did she too only see him as a traitor? Why _did_ she agree to remain his wife? Her father and cousin would have happily terminated the contract if she asked it of them, so why didn't she?

"_He saved my life."_

Well, he did use that debt to persuade her into signing the contract and at that point he did have every intention of "using"her as the ninja so eloquently put it, but he never had any intention of throwing her away. He was a man who played for keeps.

The accusation didn't bother him because for the most part, it was true. It had the completely opposite effect on Hinata though. He'd expected hurt or resignation, but certainly not hardened anger. His Sharingan activated to follow the smooth motion of her lithe body as she twisted and pulled free with well-practiced grace.

Her silvery lavender eyes narrowed sharply with the determined set of her expression and he knew all of her senses were focused solely on the man before her. A slight jerk of her head when the second one laughed told him she hadn't been aware there was more than one threat.

_We'll work on that_, Sasuke mused, watching her raise her palms in a defensive posture. Despite the obvious disadvantage she had and the taunting words of her opponent, her hands didn't shake and her stance was firm. Even without her sight, he was sure she would have dealt a crippling blow to the overconfident creep, but he had no intention of letting him lay one more finger on _his _Hinata.

The ninja squeaked like a little girl when he grabbed his arm and twisted it behind his back. His friend jumped in shock at his sudden appearance and he noticed out of the corner of his eye that while relief flooded through Hinata's face when he spoke, her stance didn't relax.

_Instinct is a beautiful thing._

Bending the ninja's arm just a bit more, Sasuke felt the muscles and bones strain under the pressure. "My probation doesn't exclude killing anyone," he growled.

Hinata tensed slightly and then suddenly dropped her hands, deciding there was no more threat when these two were so clearly petrified of her husband. A part of her knew he was more than willing to carry out his threat, but another part knew it was only on her account as well. She wasn't hurt and she was no longer afraid. There was no reason for this to go any further.

"Sasuke-kun?"

Glancing at her, he blinked at the soft smile directed towards him as Hinata stood with her hands shyly clasped behind her back. She looked so sweet and cute he almost cracked a smile. One more blink and he shoved the ninja away from him into his friend, obsidian eyes conveying as much threat and promise as crimson once did.

Strolling over to Hinata, he gently took her hand and pulled her along as he continued down the street, ignoring the heated glares burning into his back. Having only been back in her good graces for less than twenty-four hours, he had no intention of shedding blood over trivial things when it would only upset Hinata. Kunoichi she might be, but she was still tenderhearted and far too forgiving for her own good.

After all, she forgave him.

* * *

**Also **thanks to _**Chibi Shy Shadow Reader (one of many), Castiel, Starfire201, HANA CHAN, Jay_chAn, Blah…, LilL, Inaz, misha48, Ingrid, oluja, ameliechan:D, ladywisdom, and Vivian **_for your kind reviews.

Last chibi shy shadow reader in the boat has to paddle!


	19. in Determination

**A/N-** Bad day, bad week, bad month. Don't ask.

**Keru-arashi **made another sketch for chapter 18. You know where to find the link.

**Disclaimer: **duh.

Enjoy!

**_Ikigai_**

**in Determination**

**Chapter 19**

"Stand here."

Hinata stood frozen, tilting her head to listen to Sasuke's receding steps. His orders were never spoken harshly but held such unnerving power over her body. Feeling slightly defiant after her recent encounter in the market place, she wiggled her fingers to assure herself that her body wasn't quite as obedient as it appeared to be. Satisfied that she wasn't reduced to being a mere puppet, she once more focused on her surroundings.

Lifting her face to the sky, she smiled at the soft breeze and the music it made in the leaves. She could sense no presence outside of Sasuke's, so wherever they were was considerably isolated. Perhaps any other time this would have frightened her, but she trusted he would never allow anything to happen to her, not after the way he reacted to her recent poisoning.

A soft, bell-like tinkling caught her attention and she turned towards the misplaced sound.

"Sasuke-kun?"

"Hn." His non-committal grunt sounded closer than she expected and she tried to hone in on his approaching steps but couldn't hear them until she could literally feel the charge of his passive chakra dancing across her skin.

Grasping her wrist, he pressed something vaguely familiar into her hand. "Put this on."

Hinata fiddled with the leather pack, fingering the contrasting stiffness of its contents with the softness of the container until it dawned on her why the object was so familiar.

"Is this…is this what you bought today?"

"Hai. Put it on."

_Why?_ The question lingered on her tongue but seemed incapable of breathing past her lips. Just a few days ago, he'd been so intent on keeping her away from sharp objects that he hired someone to watch over her. Now he was handing her a brand new kunai pouch loaded with the deadly knives?

Deciding it was better to obey than try to unravel the conundrum of her husband, Hinata leaned down and strapped the pouch to her right thigh. The long absent weight settled in place with familiar comfort and Hinata smiled, straightening up to eagerly await further direction.

Amusement tugged at the corner of Sasuke's mouth at her visible excitement. _Was she this eager when she was a genin?_ Shaking his head at the irrelevant thought, Sasuke looked towards the three posts on the other side of the meadow.

"Immediately in front of you, at about ten paces, are three targets each with its own bell. Your aim is the one that rings. Got it?"

"Hai!" Hinata's sightless eyes narrowed in determination, lithe fingers unbuckling the pouch to flick out a kunai. Strength and anticipation surged through her when her hand curved around the cool hilt and a window in her dark mind cracked open. Poised on the balls of her feet, she waited for the first ringing bell.

The soft tinkling sounded beneath the rustle of leaves and Hinata tilted her head. When the resonance began to fade she snapped her wrist and flung her kunai. The anticipated thud of metal against wood never came.

A slight frown dipped Sasuke's brows when the kunai flew three feet to the left of the farthest left post, disappearing into the trees. _She has the general direction down, but to be able to pinpoint a sound to its exact location…I don't know if Kiba can even do that._

"How far off was I?"

Sasuke blinked at the slight inflection in her voice and looked up from where he kneeled beside her to find her face eerily void of expression but for the faint crease between her brows. _Always so much doubt, but I know there's a fierce little minx in there somewhere._

"You're thinking too much," he said, ignoring her question. "It isn't about skill, it's about instinct. This time don't hesitate."

The crease in her brow deepened and her eyes narrowed. Palming another kunai she nodded sharply and Sasuke smirked.

_There she is._

Curving one finger, he tugged on the chakra string attached to the middle post and rang the bell. Hinata's head jerked and the kunai flew from her hand without a moment's hesitation. It pinged off the edge of the post and ricocheted into the trees.

Sasuke's smirked widened into a smile. _That's more like it._

"Sasuke-kun?" Anxious lavender eyes turned towards him.

"You skimmed the target. Do it again."

She blinked in surprise before her face brightened and she grinned. "Hai!"

Turning back towards the posts, Hinata's world tunneled down to a pinprick of sound in an ocean of darkness. With each resonance of a bell, she felt ripples within the shadows and her body sang with alert focus, honing in on the center of the disturbance until the last kunai flew from her hand.

"Not bad," Sasuke murmured beside her.

Hinata straightened up. "Ano, how bad is 'not bad'," she asked timidly.

Sasuke's larger, warmer hand closed around hers, tugging her along across the field.

"You missed this post by three feet on your first throw," he said, placing her hand against the wood. Her fingers grazed over the bell that had been one of her targets and with both hands she searched outwards until she found three kunai embedded in the wood. The closest one was six inches too low.

She sighed at her poor aim. "Academy students could do better."

Sasuke snorted, grabbed her wrist and tugged her over to the next target. "Not blind. Don't compare yourself to amateurs."

Hinata halted, jerking Sasuke to a stop. "Demo…."

"Hinata." He caught her chin and tilted her face up. "Why did you want the garden?"

Black lashes fluttered over silvery-lavender eyes, dark frames to mother of pearl. "Ano, I wanted…."

"What did you want, Hinata?"

Shivers danced up her spine with the soft demand. "I- I wanted to try."

A smile tugged at his lips. "Did anyone try to stop you?"

"The matrons thought I was foolish," she murmured, eyes dropping.

"Were you?"

Pink blossoms flushed her cheeks. "Maybe."

"Did you care?"

Unseeing eyes flickered up. "No."

"Good." Pulling her over to the second post, Sasuke laid her hand against the wooden surface beside the bell. "Neither do I."

Startled, Hinata blinked for a moment before her eyes softened and then narrowed again in determination. Brushing her hands across the second post, she located and removed five kunai, all ringed around the bell within a five inch range. The third post, like the first, was riddled with a far more erratic aim. _Central perception. Hearing the bell slightly off to the left or right was harder to hone in on, _she decided.

Tucking the kunai back into the pouch, Hinata listened to Sasuke rummage around in the bushes for the few that had gone wild.

"Sasuke-kun?"

"Hn."

Running her fingers over the fine texture of the brand new kunai pouch clinging to her leg, Hinata felt a forgotten piece of herself click into place, only she didn't know what to do with it anymore.

"Why are you doing this?" She whispered so softly she wasn't certain she'd spoken at all.

A strong hand suddenly grabbed hers and she jerked back, but Sasuke held firm, laying the retrieved kunai in her palm.

"I have many enemies."

_And I'm a weakness._ Clutching the kunai tightly, she barely felt the edges knick her skin. "I see."

Gently grasping her arm, Sasuke led her back across the field. "Today in the market, you weren't afraid. Why?"

She blinked in confusion before she remembered her altercation with the two unknown shinobi and their accusations. "I was angry and…and I knew that any hit would have been a good one if he was close enough."

Sasuke's lips twitched and he absently rubbed his still tingling chest. "I have no doubt about that," he muttered.

Hinata flushed slightly. "I-I haven't used any chakra since… I mean, I-I don't know if it would have worked."

Grasping her shoulders gently, Sasuke turned her to face the targets. "Only one way to find out."

The warmth of his breath caressed the shell of her ear and Hinata shivered. _Only one way to find out._ Dropping her hand to her kunai pouch, she released all but one of the short knives.

"Again?"

Sasuke squeezed her shoulders and let go. "Again."

***

Wincing at the twinge of soreness in her over-extended muscles, Hinata sighed into the hot stream of water showering down on her. Her chest swelled with a satisfaction she hadn't experienced in seemingly forever and she welcomed the pain that came with hard training and a long, eventful day.

Was it really only yesterday that she'd been resigned to a mere existence, going so far as to be willing to let Sasuke have a mistress if he so desired? Was that the woman she had become? She only wanted him to be happy and in her condition how was she to ever meet his expectations? But of course, Sasuke's expectations were anything but what she could possibly anticipate.

She felt safe with him, safer than she ever felt with anyone before, even Naruto and that unnerved her more than anything. The love she harbored for Naruto was something she believed would always be with her even if the memory of it brought her pain.

Touching her hand to her chest, Hinata smiled at the light fluttery feeling that had taken residence since Sasuke held her in the garden that morning. He told her she wasn't weak, that even just the thought of her was important and that he never wanted to hurt her. He was the first to ever tell her such things and she believed him because if nothing else, Sasuke never lied. Men like him didn't have to.

Just knowing that he valued her in some way, wanted to protect her, and was willing to go to any lengths to do so made her heart dance like a swarm of butterflies against her ribcage. Maybe his intent in deceiving her into marriage had been to just use her to restore his Clan, but between then and now something had changed…in both of them.

Twisting off the water, Hinata reached outside of the shower curtain and felt around until she found her towel draped over the rack. Shivering from the chill of cool air against wet skin, she quickly dried herself and securely wrapped the fluffy towel around her before stepping out.

Once in her memory, Uchiha Sasuke and Haru her savior had been two different men, but the line between them had blurred so heavily that she could no longer separate one from the other. Sasuke was still as arrogant, gruff and demanding as he'd been then, still mysterious and gentle, still her savior. He made the emptiness recede.

Slipping into her silken pajamas, Hinata considered how she might thank him for everything he'd done for her today and flushed when Ino's list of "One Hundred and One Ways to Please a Man" danced through her mind. Perhaps hearing the list wouldn't have been so embarrassing if the knowledgeable blonde hadn't decided to share it while they were in the lingerie store. While more than half of the list threatened to leave a permanent burn on her cheeks from just hearing them, there were a few suggestions that bore consideration.

Sasuke always held her at night, but with the strain between them the last few days neither of them found comfort in the embrace. _I think tonight, I will reach for him._

Nodding firmly at her decision, Hinata stepped out into the bedroom and instantly felt her courage flee the moment his attention riveted on her. Feeling a blush steal across her features, she scurried to the bed and busied herself with arranging the blankets and pillows to her liking.

A dark brow crept up over a darker eye as Sasuke watched Hinata fuss about in a decidedly nervous manner that hadn't been present twenty minutes ago. With the added blush painted across her porcelain skin, it didn't take much guesswork to figure out some very interesting thoughts must be flitting around that pretty little head of hers.

After a few more tugs and twists on the blanket, she finally stilled her nervous fidgeting. He watched her eyes flicker towards him and then away several times with growing amusement. Deciding to wait for her to build up courage for whatever she needed to say, he turned back to his book and pretended to read. His senses were too sharply tuned into the woman beside him to really concentrate so he didn't bother to try.

After a few silent minutes, he felt her shift beside him and a small hand hesitantly touched his bare shoulder. Turning his head, Sasuke blinked at finding Hinata suddenly so close, the dusting of pink on her cheeks contrasting sharply with the determined set of her unseeing eyes. Mesmerized by her willing initiation of contact, he remained still and silent under her hesitant touch.

His eyes slipped half closed as her slender fingers trailed searchingly across the expanse of his collarbone and up the curve of his neck to cradle his cheek against a petite but deadly palm. Little trails of fire burned along the path and his breathing hitched with suppressed longing straining at his control.

Her touch was like nothing he could have imagined; fluttering soft, tender and cautious. Craving shot through him and he was half a second from taking her into his arms when he felt the soft brush of her lips against his cheek. Sasuke's eyes shot open and he stared incredulously at the shy woman blushing fiercely before him.

"A-arigato, for today," she whispered.

When he said nothing for several strained seconds, Hinata quickly withdrew and poked her fingers together anxiously. _Should I not have kissed him? Ino said a kiss could say a thousand things. Was it too much? Too little?_

"Ano, that is, I mean…." Oh, she was making such a blunder of this!

The sudden loss of her touch snapped Sasuke back to his senses like a cold slap of winter rain. _Did she just kiss me? _

Suddenly her earlier nervousness made a lot more sense. The fire ignited by her feather soft touch banked into a soothing warmth in his chest. _She kissed me._

Oblivious to the rare smile smoothing across his lips, Hinata continued to sputter helplessly until a he stilled her fidgeting fingers.

Sasuke stared at her small hands caught in just one of his and struggled to remind himself that her kiss had been given in gratitude because he very much wanted it to mean more. _I wonder what I have to do to get her to kiss me for real._

She stiffened at his touch and he gently stroked his thumb over the back of her hand, patiently waiting for her to relax. Tension slowly seeped out of her and she tilted her head towards him, eyes flickering back and forth.

"I…I was going to ask you about the treatments before…." her soft voice faded off hesitantly.

Sasuke grimaced. _Nice one, Uchiha. Couldn't possibly make her even more scared of you, could you? _

"Ano, so, thank you," Hinata murmured.

With a near silent sigh, Sasuke gently squeezed her hand. "We didn't exactly get off to a good start."

She giggled and shook her head, a small smile curving her lips at his reluctant admission. "Not exactly."

Sasuke smirked wryly at her laughter. Hinata didn't have a simpering giggle like most girls nor did she cackle like a hyena. Her laughter was pleasant and soothing, threatening to crack his stoic demeanor. It was a relief that she could laugh about their rocky start because any other woman in her right mind would have fought him or left him. Hinata wasn't senseless, she was just…sweet and kind and forgiving and everything he didn't deserve.

_So why does she stay? Is it really just because I saved her life? Is that the only reason?_ Uncomfortable as it was to admit, he wanted more. He wanted Hinata to love him.

"Sasuke-kun?"

"Hn."

"Will we train again tomorrow?" Hopeful, eager eyes stared up at him without focus and he felt an increasingly familiar stirring in his chest.

"I have a mission tomorrow."

Her eyes dimmed like a sputtering candle. "Oh."

"Tenten will train with you."

The light flared anew with surprise. "Tenten-san?"

"I saw her in the weapons' shop today and she volunteered to come tomorrow since I won't be here. Your supplies should be arriving from the apothecary too."

"Oh!" She'd completely forgotten about the medicinal supplies he had ordered. "Demo, I'm supposed to have a treatment tomorrow with Sakura-chan. Will you be back for that?"

"I don't know. If I'm not, the new housekeeper will take you."

Incredulous shock blanched her face and Sasuke winced. _I could have picked a better approach for that._

"New…housekeeper?"

His hand tightened around hers before she could even think to withdraw. "I requested a Branch member of your clan to serve here to care for the meals and the house."

Hinata remained silent for several minutes, contemplating his words.

"Will she stay here?"

Sasuke hesitated. "I don't like you being here alone."

She blinked at his less than direct reply. Sasuke never bothered to soften his words before, but the answer was still the same. Regardless of what she wanted he would have his way, so why didn't he just say so?

Lavender eyes soften with realization. _He's nervous. He doesn't want a repeat of the last time._

"Who is it?"

Sasuke breathed out in relief at her quiet acceptance. "Someone who can be trusted. Neji already had someone in mind."

"You asked Neji-nii-san?" Disbelief colored her voice.

He shifted uneasily. "Does it matter?"

Not even thinking twice, Hinata dove into his chest and knocked him back against the pillows, hugging him tightly. "Hai!"

His breath left him on impact and strong arms quickly wrapped around her small body. Only too late did Hinata remember that he never wore a shirt to bed and heat flushed her face at the intimate position she thoughtlessly threw herself into. Habit told her to jump away, but the warmth and comfort his solid frame radiated held her bound more so than his sinewy arms.

Feeling her suddenly stiffen, Sasuke gently stroked his fingers down the length of her spine and up again, compelling her to relax. As annoying as it was that it took a brief moment of cooperation between him and her beloved cousin to get her into his arms like this, he wasn't about to let the opportunity slide. He held her every night since she'd moved in, but she had never held him. It was obvious the exact moment she realized exactly what she had done and where she was and his arms tightened fractionally to keep her from trying to escape, but to his surprise and elation, she melted under his soothing touch.

_I wonder if she'll let me kiss her._ Gazing down at the short strands of raven tickling his chest, Sasuke felt the inexplicable apprehension he'd only ever experienced in her presence build up again. If she were any other woman, he would have kissed her the very first day she set foot in his home. Shoot, any other woman would have jumped him in the foyer, but not his timid little Hinata. Even from this angle he could see the brilliant shade of her blush had yet to subside. No matter how painfully he desired her, he couldn't bring himself to pressure her for more. Never again did he want to bear her silence or fear.

Lowering his face to her downy soft hair, Sasuke inhaled deeply the restful aroma of lavender and herbs and felt a welcomed calm settle over him. Sinking lower into the pillows, he reached over and turned out the light on the nightstand, flooding the room with darkness to his eyes alone.

In the brief moment when his embrace loosened, Hinata made no effort to move. Hearing the click of the light, she allowed herself a small smile knowing Sasuke wouldn't see it until his eyes adjusted to the darkness. He pulled her closer, shifting them into a comfortable position and she snuggled against his warmth with a contented sigh.

Yes, something had definitely changed.

***

The moon bathed the broken ground in soft silver light, nocturnal creatures singing quietly undisturbed. For a brief moment, peace settled over the Village Hidden in the Sound, its inhabitants taking a restful break in the power struggle left in the aftermath of their self-proclaimed Kage's death. A few short miles away, stone ground against stone and ragged, panting breaths broke the serenity of the night.

A splash of gray moved across the dark canvas hovering over the ruins of a once powerful outpost, shifting dirt and debris with rustic tools and bare hands. Parts of the compound were buried beyond recovery, but unlike the remaining shinobi of Sound, Yakushi Kabuto knew true power lay in the depths of these ruins.

Shoving an excessively large boulder out of the tunnel he had carved in the last few months, Kabuto sat back with a grunt and brushed the back of his hand across his forehead, smearing dirt and sweat. The swirling burn of fury and frustration upon his discovery of the destroyed compound had coiled into a tight knot in his chest. He'd been away checking on some of his experiments located at two other compounds and come back to find his favorite one completely decimated. No one in the Hidden Village knew what had occurred for there had obviously been no survivors from the compound itself. Kabuto knew only one man capable of such absolute devastation.

A meticulous analysis proved the lab had been specifically targeted with explosive tags, completely incinerating it and its contents. There was nothing but ash beneath that pile of rock. A few other strategic structures within the compound had received the same finite attention and while Kabuto wasn't altogether surprised that his lab had been included among them, he had to wonder if the Uchiha killed his little test subject personally or allowed her to die in the explosion.

He hadn't been oblivious to the frequent visits Sasuke made in the thick of night to the bedside of Hyuuga Hinata. If anything, he found it curious because not once did Sasuke ever say a word or give any indication of his opinion of the experiment. He would just sit there on the bed or next to it and just listen to the rasp of the respirators and the beeping of the monitors. Clearly it hadn't troubled Sasuke in the least to see one of his old classmates being used as an experiment.

Getting a hold of a Hyuuga from the Main House had been exceedingly difficult and Hinata had put up one hell of a fight. The meek little heiress was a lot fiercer than she appeared and even once she was trapped in his genjutsu, she continued to fight tooth and nail against the confines of unreality. Two years of intensive testing had obliterated her chakra pathways and optical nerves beyond repair and he had returned with the intention of moving to the next stage of his experiment: dissection.

Of course, not wanting to waste such a perfect specimen or opportunity, he would have salvaged the heiress' ovaries to create future specimen uninhibited by the family cursed sealing. Yes, Hinata was the basis of his greatest experiment yet.

Kabuto glowered into the darkness. _And Sasuke-kun had to destroy her and all of my research. Could it be he wasn't as indifferent to it as I thought he was? After all, the Byakugan is allegedly the pure form of the Sharingan. Was he trying to protect himself?_

Pushing his glasses back up his nose, Kabuto turned back to the opening he had unearthed and smirked. _All your efforts may have been wasted, Sasuke-kun._ Poised over the crevasse, Kabuto dropped into the darkness below and landed solidly eight feet down. This one section hadn't received the same destructive attention as the rest of the compound and many of its tunnels were still intact, if a little cramped and unstable.

Pulling a makeshift torch from the sash around his waist, Kabuto flicked a match and lit it. The glow of fire burned bright and warm, cutting clearly into the jagged shadows of the tunnel and revealing its gruesome contents.

_As I would expect from our dear Sasuke-kun, _Kabuto mused as he cautiously stepped over rubble and corpses. The stench confined to the once sealed tunnel was nearly unbearable, but he was more than accustomed to the smell of death and decay.

With only his infallible memory to guide him, he crawled over and under, moving bone, flesh, and rock until he reached the central dome of the compound. The once spacious room had collapsed in on itself, the ceiling melding into the floor with minor gaps in between what remained of the pillars. It would take him hours to search the entire expanse but a few more hours was nothing to the months he'd spent digging his way into the tunnel system.

Wedging his torch into a nook, Kabuto crouched down and surveyed the room, mapping out a mental grid for systematic searching. Orochimaru's remains were in here somewhere, he was sure of it. Whatever power the sannin attained in life permeated each and every cell of his body in death. Even with the breakdown of cellular structure over the last few months, he would be able to revive the cellular genome and reconstruct the elemental structure within himself.

Orochimaru was gone, but his power remained for the taking.

Taking a long pull from his water bottle, Kabuto wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and tucked the bottle back into his pouch. Sasuke would regret destroying his research and killing his test subject. Perhaps the Sharingan would be a nice compensation for the loss of the Byakugan.

Kabuto smiled and pushed his glasses up his nose once more. His mind sang with the possibilities while his hands dug and pulled chunks of rock and debris loose from their resting places. After all, Sasuke didn't need to be alive for him to study the Sharingan. Perhaps he would integrate those infamous crimson eyes into himself once the Uchiha was dead. With the research he'd done on the Byakugan, he was sure he would be able to amplify the abilities of the Sharingan if not evolve it further than it has ever been. If he got his hands on another Hyuuga he may even be able to create a new generation of Sharingans. The possibilities were endless and entertaining to an unceasing mind like his.

Shoving a large chunk of rock off its unstable pedestal with a grunt, Kabuto peered down into the debris and froze. Reaching down as far as his arm would go, his fingers grazed over sickly cold and decaying flesh and his hand curled eagerly around the form. With a grunt, he heaved the limp, elongated carcass out of the hole and dragged it over to the light of his torch.

Dropping to his knees, Kabuto gazed over the white scaly flesh with feverish eyes. The battle must have been spectacular to have forced Orochimaru into his true form. Running a slender finger along the white scales, Kabuto shook his head.

"For all your jutsus and power, you were still a fool, Orochimaru-sama. Now your power will be mine and I will succeed where you failed."

It took him an hour to clear the floor space to draw a grid circle large enough to encompass the pale snake. Dropping to his knees within the circle, Kabuto formed hand signs and poured his chakra into the grid. Power continued to flow out of him, filling the underground cavern with an eerie green glow sliding along the channels etched on the floor. His body stiffened the instant he felt the grid reach completion, the outflow of power suddenly turning back into him. Steeling himself for the hours of pain awaiting him, Kabuto flipped through the next set of hand signs and sealed himself into the jutsu. Fire seared through his limbs with the first tendrils of foreign cells seeping into his body, melding and assimilating with his own. Head thrown back in a silent scream, dark eyes glinted maniacally with each increasing wave of pain and power flooding over and through him in cascades of emerald light.

The moon continued to bathe the night with its mellow glow on evil and good alike while in the earth's dark embrace, revenge was born anew.

* * *

**The Player-** I update on every other (that's two weeks, not one) Friday, not Thursday. When I update on a Thursday like my previous update (June 18), it's because I knew in advance I wouldn't be able to update on Friday. I understand that people request me to update because they are eager to read more, but please don't pester me about it. That will only serve to irritate me and irritated authors are not inclined to update at all.

**Also **thanks to **_aotenshi, Inaz, MDZ, Starfire201, Castiel, Jay_chAn, LilL, Ingrid, ladywisdom, Krirobe, Lanse Fan #1, misha48, Amazed, Blah…, zop, jen, _**and**_ La Loba _**for your kind reviews.

Make room, chibi shy shadow readers. I think I need to hide out for a while…you've got lemonade, right?


	20. in Courage

**A/N- **So sorry I wasn't able to update last Friday, but I kind of got blindsided by a whole slew of things. I'm still feeling the bruises. Thank you for your patience and understanding though. I should be back on track by next week. Until then, here's the next chapter.

**Keru-arashi** did a picture of one of the villains for a change if you want to peruse it. The link is in my profile, as usual.

Oh, and if you lost track, this chapter picks up on the same day as the last chapter.

**Disclaimer: **As if I have time to manage as many characters as Kishimoto keeps dreaming up. Just think of the workman's comp!

Enjoy!

**_Ikigai_**

**_in Courage_**

**Chapter 20**

"Ready?"

"Hai!"

Tenten tugged on a chakra string and Hinata's hand blurred in time with the ringing of the bell.

"Wow," Tenten murmured with disbelief when the kunai struck inches from the bell. "You haven't slowed down at all!"

"Sasuke-kun told me not to think too much and react more on instinct."

"Well it definitely works. I've seen plenty of genin who couldn't hit that close to the mark to save their lives!" Tenten grinned up at the blind kunoichi. "Want to try a full round?"

Infected with Tenten's excitement, Hinata unknowingly mirrored her grin. "Hai!"

Crouching low to the ground to avoid the line of fire, Tenten tugged one chakra string after the other and watched with amazement as Hinata spun in a pirouette, flinging kunai in every direction. There was no sign of hesitation as bells continued to ring out around the circle of targets, only fiery determination and a steady hand until the last kunai flew from her fingers.

"Nice," Tenten whistled, springing to her feet.

Hinata puffed quietly beside her from the exertion. "Did I miss any?"

"Not that I saw," Tenten said, grasping her hand. "Come check it out."

The two kunoichi trotted over to the first post and Tenten watched Hinata feel along the thick wood to locate and remove her kunai.

"I'm still averaging a few inches off the mark," Hinata murmured.

"It's been a long time since you've held a weapon, Hinata, and your aim is dependent on hearing alone. No one expects you to be able to hit the broadside of a cart let alone a training post."

Tucking the kunai into her pouch, Hinata moved to the next post. "Sasuke-kun said I shouldn't compare myself to others."

"He's right. Not only do you have years of experience behind you, but you also have very unusual circumstances to accustom yourself to. I personally don't know any blind shinobi let alone one who can hit the target based on hearing alone…repeatedly."

Adding a few more kunai to her pouch, Hinata turned towards Tenten's voice. "Maybe, but no enemy is going to take it easy on me just because I'm blind. If anything, I've become more of a target." She traced her hand slowly over the post beside her. "More of a weakness."

Grasping Hinata's shoulder gently, Tenten turned her to look in her face. Short bangs hid sightless eyes drooping down towards the ground.

"Where is this coming from, Hinata? What happened to the kunoichi who pushed herself through physical therapy faster than any other shinobi in Konoha?" Tenten's eyes darkened when Hinata shrunk into herself. "Did Sasuke say something to you?" she demanded, her grip tightening.

Hinata's eyes flickered to the side. "Sasuke-kun…still has many enemies."

Tenten blinked. "Hinata, there isn't a shinobi in this entire village that doesn't have enemies. Granted, Sasuke probably has a few _within_ Konoha—." She stopped short when Hinata flinched.

Jerking the smaller girl around Tenten narrowed her gaze at her. "Hinata, did something happen? Did someone attack you or Sasuke?"

Hinata shook her head. "Not…exactly."

"What does not exactly mean?"

Two slender fingers came up and started poking together. "Ano, yesterday in the market, when Sasuke-kun was getting the kunai for me…there were two shinobi…. I don't know who they were. I didn't even know there were two of them at first…."

Tenten stepped back to give Hinata room to fidget. "And?"

Blank lavender eyes shifted sideways. "I was waiting for Sasuke-kun outside and the one, he--he started to say things."

"What kinds of things."

Hinata pressed curled fingers against her mouth and muttered something so quiet Tenten blinked in confusion.

"He said what?"

Shoulders heaving with a sigh of either frustration or resignation, Hinata dropped her hand and lifted her eyes to more or less meet Tenten's. "Traitor."

Her blood froze. "He called you a traitor?"

Hinata shrugged. "Isn't that what you call someone who marries a traitor?"

The brunette snorted inelegantly. "You weren't exactly given much choice, Hinata. Besides, Sasuke isn't the traitor everyone makes him out to be. He only left Konoha to find justice and he did come back after it was done, right? It's not like he actively fought against Konoha the way other missing-nins have."

"I suppose some people will never see it that way," Hinata murmured in agreement.

Tenten smiled. "You don't consider Sasuke a traitor, right? So why did it bother you so much?"

Lavender eyes shifted away again. "He said other things too."

"Like what?"

Hinata moved away from her to the next post to retrieve more kunai. The words still irritated her to restlessness, still banked fury and fire just by memory alone because buried beneath the fire and anger was pure, unadulterated fear.

Feeling the weight of Tenten's curiosity and concern, Hinata felt the anger subside towards hurt.

"He said that…that Sasuke-kun is only u-using me. That once he has what he wants…he'll just throw me away."

"_Just like he threw away everything else."_

Tenten scowled. _Looks like I'm going to be finding myself a new pincushion._ Shaking aside the moment of vicious vendetta, she focused on the dismal form of her friend.

"Hinata, you don't really believe that crap do you? I mean, Sasuke went through an awful lot to get you. He could've been executed the moment he set foot in Konoha! I sincerely doubt he would've gone to so much trouble if he considers you disposable."

Absently tugging a kunai loose, Hinata tucked it into her pouch. "I don't think he does. He saved me and took care of me for months. He was so restless then, but he stayed and I never really understood why."

Tenten leaned against a post, eyes bright with anticipation. The former heiress had never spoken about her time with the mysterious "Haru-kun" and speculative rumors still ran hot amongst the few who knew of the incident.

"I didn't know…."

"Didn't know what?"

Hinata fidgeted with the hem of her shirt. "That I was free. That it was real. I…I thought he was an illusion."

Tenten straightened. "Hinata…."

She wrapped her arms around herself. "When the genjutsu broke, there was only darkness…and him." Her head snapped up suddenly, eyes wide and bright with unshed tears. "I don't care what anyone says. He saved me and-and I'll never leave him!"

Startled by the fierce declaration, Tenten just stared at her for a moment before cautiously grasping her shoulders and her attention. "Hinata." She studied the younger woman's face for any telling expressions. "Do you love him?"

Vacant eyes blinked once, twice and then shifted away, a bright blush stealing across her cheeks. "I-I don't know. I just…I'm afraid that one day he's going to realize he made a mistake and-and see how weak I really am and…" her hands closed around Tenten's wrists, glittering eyes looking up towards her. "I don't want to lose him."

Tenten softened at the familiar fear and longing in her young friend's face. Had she not harbored the same look herself until just recently? Taking Hinata's hand, she led her over to a grassy patch and pulled her down. Hinata obediently followed the pressure of her grip and sunk to her knees.

"What makes you think you're going to lose him?" she questioned. "From what I've seen, Sasuke is doing everything in his power to make you happy and comfortable. Granted, the whole mishap with that Ami nutcase wasn't the best experience, but he fixed it and he's letting you continue your eye treatments and train. I don't know many guys who would let their wives do that, especially when she's blind."

Hinata plucked up some bits of grass and rubbed her fingers along the waxy texture. "Because he knows I'm weak. Any one of his enemies could capture me in this state. He's letting me train because he wants me to be able to defend myself, not because he believes I can be a capable shinobi again."

Tenten tilted her head to watch the storm of emotions flickering across Hinata's down-turned face. "Do you really believe that?"

Fidgeting fingers froze and Hinata sighed, shoulders slumping with the motion. "He says things, Tenten. Things no one has ever said to me before and I-I want to believe him but…."

"But?"

Crushing the blades of grass in her fist, Hinata closed her eyes. "I know what Sasuke is and I know what he can do. What's to stop him from doing it to me?"

Tenten bit her lip, not feeling altogether qualified for this particular conversation. She'd never believed for a moment that Neji was ever capable of hurting her intentionally. That kind of doubt and distrust wasn't something she'd ever been faced with because of their camaraderie as teammates. It struck her acutely that Hinata was married to an almost stranger and she wasn't the only one in the village who had trust issues with him. Yet despite that distrust and fear, she wanted to be with him.

_Oh, Hinata. I fear your heart was lost long before you ever came back to us._

"That time you spent together, before you knew who he was, did you trust him then?" she asked.

Hinata's fist unfurled and she idly traced over the smudges of green that she could smell but not see. "He was so gentle and considerate but I knew it was because he wanted something from me. When he told me he was bringing me home and asked me to sign the contract granting him his- his _favor_, I didn't think twice." She glanced up at Tenten, vacant eyes staring just south of her face. "Was I a fool?"

Tenten's heart ached at the despondency shrouding her eyes. "No," she said without hesitation. "Because he saved more than your life."

Hinata blinked slowly in confusion and Tenten smirked.

"Or would you rather be married to a stuffy merchant lord who prefers empty-headed trophy women over a stubborn kunoichi?"

A smile tugged at the corners of Hinata's lips. "Otoya-san wasn't that bad."

Tenten snorted. "Right. I can just see you sitting every day in a four layer kimono gossiping about clothes and fashion with the old biddies over tea and cake."

Hinata giggled at the over-exaggerated image popping into her head.

"Sasuke's the better match for you," the weapons mistress said. "Why do you think none of us really opposed him?"

Hinata looked up startled. "Demo, it was my decision to honor the marriage."

"You really think that mattered to Neji or Naruto? If they honestly didn't believe that Sasuke had something to offer, neither one of them would have let you go through with this marriage."

Bowing her head, Hinata silently admitted to that truth. Neji never bothered to disguise his dislike for Sasuke, but neither did he try to interfere once she decided to move into the Uchiha compound.

Leaning back on her hands, Tenten looked up at the sky. "So he tricked you into marrying him so he could restore his Clan, but you've been living together for just over a week now and not once has he tried to touch you. Don't you think that's a little odd?"

Hinata hunched her shoulders. "Maybe he doesn't like me that way."

Tenten shot her an incredulous look. "You can't be serious!"

Hinata flinched. "Demo, he hasn't even tried to kiss me."

Disbelieving brown eyes softened at the insecurity lacing her soft voice. "Do you want him to?"

Crimson streaked across her pale face and Hinata pressed a curled finger to her lips, pearlescent eyes shifting back and forth. "Ano, I- I—."

"It's okay to want to kiss him, Hinata," Tenten said with open amusement. "He's a fine looking man and he _is_ your husband." Her expression turned thoughtful as Hinata continued to stutter unintelligibly. "You know, I think he's waiting for you."

Pausing her futile effort to rub the fire from her cheeks, Hinata turned towards her. "Waiting?"

"Yeah," Tenten nodded, certain of her sudden realization. "He married you to restore his Clan and yet he hasn't laid a hand on you when he's had plenty of opportunities. He still holds you at night, right?"

Hinata nodded, cool hands still pressed to her flaming cheeks.

"Well, it seems to me if he only wanted little Uchihas, he would have seduced you by now."

The former heiress' cheeks flamed hotter with the rampant images frolicking through her head.

"So he's obviously waiting for you to feel more comfortable with him before taking the next step."

"The next step," Hinata echoed helplessly. Kami, was she ready for the next step?

"Believe me, Hinata." Tenten cocked her head to look at her from the corner of her eye. "No man is willing to wait for _that_ unless he really cares for you." _Like Neji is waiting for me._

Hinata dropped her hands into her lap and fiddled with the remnants of grass. "Do you…do you really think Sasuke-kun cares for me?"

Propping her arm up on her knee, Tenten turned the full weight of her gaze on the girl beside her. "He requested the death penalty."

Hinata's head shot up, eyes wide. "What?"

"For the girl who poisoned you. I don't know if he'll get it, but his arguments are pretty solid. If she just gets time in prison, she could end up with some nasty connections and is just crazy enough to use them. Sasuke doesn't want to give her a second chance to hurt you." Tenten smiled at Hinata's stunned expression. "Actions speak louder than words, ne?"

Never one to wish ill on another, Hinata felt her stomach drop even as her heart leaped. His rage had been so intense that day, it was a wonder he hadn't killed Ami himself. Since then he'd been even more attentive and considerate than before…and very protective.

"Ano, so what do I do?"

"What do you mean?"

"If…if Sasuke-kun's waiting for me, ano, Tenten, what do I do?"

A wry smile curved Tenten's lips. "You could start with dropping the suffix."

Hinata's cheeks pinkened. "Oh, hai!"

Hopping up, Tenten reached down and pulled Hinata to her feet. "Sasuke's an observant guy. He'll pick up on whatever little signs you give him, but you have to give him _some_ signs."

"Signs?"

"Signals. Tells. Flirt with him a little. Wear something nice for when he comes home. Greet him at the door. Stuff like that. Let him know that he's the only man you want to be with."

Hinata nodded eagerly. "Hai, demo, what if," her face flushed, "what if he thinks I'm ready when I'm not?"

"He won't," Tenten said with confidence.

"How do you know?"

"Because he doesn't want to hurt you. If nothing else, you can believe that." Tenten smiled at Hinata's softening expression. "Ready for another round?"

Straightening her shoulders, Hinata smiled brightly. "Hai, one more round then I need to get home. My supplies are being delivered today."

"Cool! Will you need any help with that?"

"Nanami-san will help me set them up so that I can use them without assistance."

Tenten lifted her hands to reattach chakra strings to the bells. "You seem to get along well with Nanami-san."

"She was my personal maid when I was still heiress."

Tenten glanced sideways at her candid reply. "It doesn't bother you does it, losing your status within the Hyuuga Clan."

Hinata shrugged, a disturbingly Sasuke-like smile tugging at her lips. "I'm not a Hyuuga anymore."

Tenten chuckled. "Their loss! Yosh, let's make it a bit more challenging, ne? Two bells at once."

Flicking a kunai from her pouch with familiar ease, Hinata narrowed her sightless eyes, concentrating on the myriad of sounds around her. "Go."

***

Sniffing the small cup delicately, Hinata wrinkled her nose and sneezed.

"Ano, Nanami-san, do I have this measurement right?"

The older woman looked up from the wooden bottle she was etching in kanji. Gently taking the cup from Hinata's hand, Nanami raised it to the light. "Of course, Hinata-sama. This cup's measurements have already been etched. Why did you think otherwise?"

Hinata wrinkled her nose again as she accepted the cup back. "It smells stronger than I remember."

A tender smile softened Nanami's aging face. "You underestimate the potency of your senses now that sight has abandoned you. The etching and measurement is accurate. Your sense of smell has yet to acclimate."

Another petite sneeze rattled Hinata to expel the bitter scent still clinging to her nose. Shaking her head to clear it, she dumped the contents of the hand altered measuring cup into a bigger bowl set directly in front of her on the table she and Nanami had moved into one of the rooms along the central courtyard. The small room had been relatively empty of furniture and held no noticeable purpose so Hinata decided to mold it into her personal apothecary after much deliberation. The thought of moving anything around without Sasuke's permission sent a shiver of unease down her spine, but he'd been adamant about her making the compound her home and doing as she pleased, including the continued pursuit of medicinal potions and balms.

Repeatedly reminding herself that Sasuke was _not_ her father helped to suppress the uncertainty, but it still lingered. The last thing she wanted to do was upset him, especially now that they'd reconciled.

Feeling along the table, she picked up a few sprigs of lavender and placed them in her mortar, gently mashing them with the porcelain pestle. Soon the soothing scent filled the room and dislodged the last of the bitter tinge from her still twitching nose.

"When you are finished with the lavender, we should leave for your appointment, Hinata-sama," Nanami said, setting the bottle she'd been working on onto a nearby shelf. The two of them had spent the last few hours organizing Hinata's supplies and marking them so that she would be able to identify the contents without aid. Memories of a younger, diligent Hinata poring over books and experimenting with strange and often-times putrid smelling concoctions until she got her measurements and contents just perfect stirred a fond smile on the old woman's face.

Widowed at a young age and left without children of her own, Nanami found delight and comfort in caring for the timid heiress after her mother passed. So many years later and she was pleased beyond words when the young master of the Branch house asked her to once more serve Hinata in her new home. It was even more surprising to find that the Uchiha was the one who had requested the presence of another Hyuuga in his home.

Having met the infamous former Avenger only briefly, Nanami was left with the impression of a dark, forbidding young man of very few words. His stoic features softened only when he spoke of Hinata and had she herself not been a Hyuuga, she might never have noticed the change. Shortly after he departed that morning, Hinata came bouncing down the stairs, bright as the morning sun breaking through a storm cloud. The contrast in their personalities was startling and yet….

Nanami glanced over at her young charge. _She has not been this happy since she was returned to us._

Humming softly, Hinata brushed the crushed lavender into the mixing bowl and stirred it into the thick, bitter concoction. _I may need more lavender, but I will let it sit for now._ Feeling around for the lid she knew lay somewhere on her table, she covered the bowl and brushed the back of her sleeve across her forehead. The concentration on accurate measurements had been more taxing than flinging kunai with Tenten. A slight headache was already nudging at her temples.

"Ano, Sasuke-ku-, er, Sasuke has not returned yet?"

Nanami smiled at her stumbling speech. "Not yet. Did he say when he would?"

Hinata stood, shaking her head. "We should go so we aren't late. I don't want to take up too much of Sakura-san's time."

"As you wish, Hinata-sama." Nanami knew better than to voice her opinion on such a matter because it would likely upset Hinata more than she was already pretending not to be. Over the course of the last two hours Hinata had asked three times if Sasuke had returned yet. Despite how unclear the relationship between the two unlikely companions was, Nanami couldn't mistake the growing disappointment in her mistress' voice as the time for her eye appointment drew nearer and the enigmatic Uchiha failed to put in an appearance.

Neji and Hanabi had always been the ones to escort Hinata for her treatments before and Nanami often wondered if the treatments were more taxing and invasive than anyone let on. It would explain Hinata's preference for specific company such as her beloved cousin, cheeky sister, or in this case, oblivious husband.

_Married a week and already she longs for him and he neglects her._ Shaking her head, Nanami held out her arm for Hinata to grasp and led her out of the compound. It was not her place to meddle in the affairs of her new master and his young bride, only see to it that the house and meals were cared for in the absence of Hinata's ability to do so. Sasuke had been very explicit in drawing the lines of her responsibilities. Hinata was not to be coddled like the invalid most believed her to be. In this, the Uchiha had won the old matron's respect. If nothing else, he understood what Hinata needed the most.

The walk was peaceful and greetings and smiles were exchanged with passersby as the two women made their way to the hospital. The familiar smell of disinfectant inspired mixed emotions in the blind kunoichi and her fingers flexed around Nanami's arm. Healing and sickness dwelled hand in hand within the warm ambiance of Konoha's hospital. Pain and relief were equal partners awaiting everyone who walked through those doors and Hinata was not excluded.

Their steps sounded a hollow echo down the sterile hallways as Nanami led her past the reception desk and into the depths of the sprawling building. Already familiar with the twists and turns, Hinata absently counted the steps, feeling a fizzle of excitement and anxiety zip up her spine.

"Ohayo Hinata!"

Sakura's cheerful voice sliced through the perpetual darkness and Hinata turned a smile in her direction. "Ohayo, Sakura. I hope I am not too late?"

"Of course not," Sakura waved away her worry as she gestured for Nanami to bring her into her office. "We've had a slow day so I've been whittling away at paperwork. Have a seat."

Hinata released Nanami's arm and made her way over to the couch, taking for granted that nothing had changed in the office since the last time she'd been there. Eyeing Hinata's graceful steps, Sakura smiled at the progress she'd made from the time she first saw her so small and frail in the hospital bed.

"I'll have to do a full analysis scan since it's been awhile since the last time I worked on you, if that's alright."

"Of course," Hinata said, sinking down onto the couch. Folding her hands in her lap, she fiddled with her fingers.

"Do you wish me to stay, Hinata-sama?" Nanami asked, sensing her charge's unease.

"Ano, do you mind…waiting outside?" Hinata hesitantly whispered.

Nanami smiled and shook her head. "Not at all, Hinata-sama." Tilting her head at Sakura, she let herself out and closed the door behind her.

"I guess Sasuke hasn't returned from his mission yet," Sakura said, striding towards the couch.

Hinata shook her head, lifting one hand to nervously chew on a dull fingernail.

Sitting down on the couch beside her, Sakura gently pulled her hand away from her mouth and cradled it in both of hers. "Do you want to wait for him?"

Hesitating for only the briefest of moments, Hinata shook her head again. "I don't want to hold you up. I'm sure there's other things you need to do."

"Hinata, you've always had someone with you before. I'm not going to push you through this without that support if you aren't ready for it."

Hinata closed her free hand over Sakura's and lifted her blank eyes to where she guessed hers to be. "I can do this. Please."

Viridian eyes softened and Sakura yielded with a sigh. "Very well. Lie down."

Standing up to give her the room, Sakura watched Hinata arrange herself on the small couch in her office, head resting on a soft throw pillow. Grasping a small stool, Sakura seated herself beside Hinata's shoulders.

"I want to see what's going on in there first, okay? There shouldn't be any pain but let me know if you do feel something."

"Hai."

Hinata forced her body to relax into the well-worn couch, flinching when Sakura's cool hands braced against her temples. When the soothing warmth of chakra seeped into her head, nerve endings started to tingle as if vying for attention. Having experienced this many times in the past, she knew it was nothing more than the effects of Sakura's chakra probing damaged tissue.

"Interesting," Sakura murmured.

Hinata's eyes opened on reflex and she blinked, not realizing she had closed them in the first place. The darkness was always the same regardless. "Is something wrong?"

"Quite the opposite, actually," Sakura said, her words slow and drawn out as one did when deep in thought. "It looks like you're growing new nerve endings. The growth is minimal, but it is a very good sign that your body is trying to repair the damage on its own. This might make the area more sensitive to the treatment though."

Hinata's lips thinned. "It's okay. I want to do this."

Sakura blinked out of her trance state to study Hinata's determined expression for any signs of hesitation or doubt and found none. The former heiress would not be dissuaded.

"Remember to keep your head still. If the pain gets to be too much, tell me and we will take a break or stop for the night, agreed?"

Hinata curled her fingers into the cushions of the couch. "I'm ready."

The first sharp stab of pain was anticipated and still made her flinch, but Sakura had gripped her head tightly in her hands, expectant of such a reflexive reaction. It was more intense than she remembered, sporadic bursts of flame and ice exploding through her temples, searing through her eyes like senbon. Her fingers twisted whatever fabric they could find in an effort to keep from writhing and jerking away from the source of agony. _This is too much!_

A whimpering sob tore from her throat, drowning out the sound of the door opening and closing. A vehement oath broke the strained silence of the office and Hinata felt a large hand engulf one of hers, gripping with an intensity she immediately reciprocated. The piercing assault on her eyes didn't waver, but she focused the instinctive need to struggle into clutching the calloused hand with every ounce of strength in her body.

Minutes that felt like days passed and the searing pain subsided into waves that slowly ebbed away into a tingling numbness. It took Hinata several minutes to recognize her own strained breathing and the murmur of voices. The strong hand still gripped hers tightly while another gently wiped away the moisture gathered on her face.

"Ne, Hinata-chan, daijoobu?"

Mixed relief and disappointment washed over her with the fading tide of pain. "Hai, Naruto-kun," she breathed.

"Sasuke-baka didn't tell me you were getting a treatment today. I'd have made sure we got back sooner if I'd known."

Her lips twitched at his anger with her husband. "He doesn't know…what they are like," she panted.

Naruto's brows furrowed and he enclosed her hand in both of his, rubbing some warmth into the startling cold limb. "It shouldn't have been this bad."

"Some of her nerve endings have started to regenerate," Sakura said, scribbling notes into Hinata's file. "I knew there would be more sensitivity but it was more than either of us anticipated."

The blonde looked back and forth between the two kunoichi. "Is that a good thing?"

"It proves her body is trying to heal on its own, which is a rare occurrence at this level of trauma." Sakura closed the file and laid it on her desk. Propping her fist on her hip, she stared at her patient. "But it makes the healing process much more painful."

Having calmed her breathing, Hinata tugged on Naruto's hand to pull herself up, her head swimming with the motion.

"Easy, Hinata." Naruto grasped her shoulders to steady her on the couch. "No need to rush."

Pressing the heels of her hands against her forehead, Hinata tried to rub away the lingering ache. "Ano, Sakura, if my nerves are trying to regenerate, is it worth continuing the treatments?"

Sakura slid back onto her stool. "The regeneration is very minimal and inconsequential as far as I can see. It's very possible that what has occurred is merely a fluke. With your retinal nerves and chakra pathways melded together, there will be no means of natural regeneration to the point of recovered sight."

Hinata dropped her hands into her lap and nodded. "I still want to continue the treatments."

Naruto glanced at Sakura with a knowing smirk. Neither of them had expected anything less from her.

"With the increase in pain, let's try three day intervals to give you time to recover, okay?"

"Hai, arigato."

"Do you still have pain?"

"It's fading."

"Good, but I'd like you to just sit there for a few minutes to be sure, okay?"

Hinata nodded, a tentative smile curving her lips.

Sakura stood up to shuffle some papers and smiled warmly at her fiancé. "Did you come straight here after getting back?"

Naruto grinned. "I figured you probably hadn't eaten yet, so I thought I'd take you out to Ichiraku. You're welcome to come too, Hinata-chan," he turned back to the pale girl, "but I bet you want to get home and check on Sasuke-baka, ne?"

Hinata's slender brows tilted. "Is he alright?"

"Said he was." Naruto scratched the back of his head and shrugged. "But we did mix it up a little with some jerks on the way home and I think he might have gotten nicked."

"You were attacked?" Sakura echoed Hinata's startled thoughts.

"Nothing we couldn't handle," Naruto grinned. "Just a bunch of punks with some screwed up opinions."

"One of them must've had some decent training if he gave you a black eye, Naruto," Sakura scowled.

"Ne, Sakura-chan, it's barely bruised!"

"Oh, in that case there's no point in me healing it, is there?" She smirked at his pouting face.

"So cold, Sakura-chan." His whine broke off when Hinata suddenly stood.

"I should go," she said, mind whirling faster than a circus wheel.

Naruto blinked in surprise and smiled. "We'll walk you out. I saw a Hyuuga sitting in the waiting room. She with you?"

"Hai. Nanami-san was my maid when I was young. She has come to live with us now to keep the house."

Naruto gently grasped her hand and looped it through his arm. "Well it's about time chicken-head did something right."

Her small hand clutched his thick arm as he led her out into the hallway, pausing to let Sakura lock up her office before the three of them started towards the waiting room. Being so close to Naruto, smelling his signature scent of leaves, wind, and ramen used to send her mind spiraling out of control. There was still a lingering sense of timidity she couldn't shake, but more now than ever he felt safe, comforting, much like Kiba and Shino.

It was startling to realize how _tame_ Naruto's scent was in comparison to Sasuke's. The ferocity hidden within the blonde was buried deep whereas Sasuke's always seemed to be roiling beneath the surface, charging the very air around him. Sometimes she could feel it skitter across her skin like static electricity and it made every hair on her body stand on end. It was the most exhilarating feeling she'd ever experienced and in his presence she felt wholly alive. After two years of nightmarish illusions and months of confusion, doubt, and fear, she never wanted to feel anything less.

"Hinata-sama?"

Her head jerked towards the soft voice. How long had she been lost in her thoughts that she didn't even notice their arrival in the waiting room?

She smiled. "Hai, I'm ready. Arigato, Naruto-kun, Sakura-chan."

"Take it easy tomorrow, Hinata," Sakura advised. "If you have any problems come see me, okay?"

"Hai. I will."

Feeling her hand picked up and looped through another, more slender arm, Hinata allowed Nanami to lead her out of the hospital, her medical mind already geared towards what she would find at home.

* * *

"_**daijoobu**__"_ for those who have forgotten more or less means "are you alright?" or "all right; okay". (I looked it up in a dictionary to be sure. There really are two "o"s.)

**Also **thanks to _**Castiel, MDZ, Starfire201, liannyyyg, Jay_chAn, Blah…, HinataUchiha101, oluja, 99Kimiko99, izumi, Sighh, **_and _**Starstruck **_for your encouraging and amusing reviews.

Apparently boating with a bunch of chibi shy shadow readers hyped up on lemonade gets a little messy. Eewww.


	21. in Silence

**A/N-** Well, I'm getting closer to getting back on schedule at least. This chapter picks up where the last one left off but does have a two day time skip in the middle. Just wanted to warn those who tend to read super fast and miss those details.

I did a little ink comic about writing if you want to check it out on my deviantart page. I'm not much of an artist, but I do doodle from time to time. The link is in my profile.

**Disclaimer: **Same old, same old.

Enjoy!

**_Ikigai_**

**in Silence**

**Chapter 21**

The moment she set foot in the foyer, Hinata reached out with her senses until she felt a familiar pulsing tingle.

"Nanami-san, please bring the ointment I made today up to my room," she instructed.

"Hai, Hinata-sama."

Feeling her way up to the second floor, Hinata cautiously entered their bedroom, not knowing exactly what to expect from an injured Sasuke. Naruto hadn't been overly-concerned and, granted, Sasuke probably had an extremely high tolerance for pain but he certainly wouldn't be the first nor the last shinobi to ignore a potentially dangerous wound out of pride.

The rushing sound of water told her he was in the shower so she took the opportunity to change into her pajamas in his absence. Shortly before the water turned off, Nanami knocked on the door with the ointment she requested and additional bandages. Thanking her and bidding her good night, Hinata climbed up onto the bed and waited for her husband.

The bathroom door jerked open and Sasuke paused at the unexpected sight of her. His sharp gaze roved over her small silk-clad body, registering all the tightly secured buttons that had become a mocking source of annoyance to him lately with hiding the secrets of her delicious curves from his eyes.

_Stupid buttons._

"When did you get back?" he asked, stepping into the room. She was sitting with her legs curled beneath her, a tempting little sacrifice to the monster he'd been called not half an hour ago. It wasn't the first time and certainly not the last, but it would get under his skin less effectively if they would leave Hinata out of it.

"A few minutes ago," she said. Sniffing delicately, she caught a hint of metallic beneath the fresh spring scent of soap. "You're bleeding."

Sasuke glanced down at the gash across his right bicep to see it seeping again. "It's just a scratch."

"May I see?"

Raising a brow at her ironic choice of words, he finally noticed the bandages and small wooden container on the bed beside her. _She already knew, but how…._ He scowled. _Naruto._

Still, he couldn't quite ignore the soft pleading request, so with an irritated huff, he crawled up onto the bed beside her.

Small hands reached out hesitantly towards him. "Where is it?"

Deciding to humor her, Sasuke grasped one hand and placed it on the thick muscle of his arm, tracing her index finger around the dimensions of the wound.

"Kunai?"

"Hn. I was distracted."

Once he released her hand, Hinata traced the dimensions of the wound again, pausing each time his arm tensed, telling her she had edged closer to the injury. The slash curved over his bicep and stopped just under the deltoid. It was shallow but would pull and twist each time he moved his arm. For a brief moment her mind skittered frantically at the feel of warm skin drawn taunt over thickly corded muscles and she forcefully pulled her thoughts back to the task at hand. "You already cleaned it?"

"Yeah."

Nodding approval, Hinata uncapped the wooden container in her lap and scooped a generous amount of greenish purple goop onto her fingers. Sasuke wrinkled his nose in expectation of the noxious fumes typical of salves and ointments, but a sweet pleasant fragrance mingled with the soothing scent of lavender wafted around them. _She must use it to counter the pungent herbs. _Well, now he knew why she always smelled like herbs and lavender.

Without a word of warning, Hinata slathered the salve across his wound and he tensed for the anticipatory sting. There was the slightest twinge of pain when her fingers brushed over the gash, but it immediately faded.

"It tingles," he murmured.

A smile flickered across Hinata's lips. "Most antiseptics can burn or irritate open wounds so I use a measure of Columbine in the salve to numb the pain. It also contains Honeysuckle as an antibacterial and Yarrow for inflammation."

Sasuke watched her agile fingers work over his arm, smoothing the salve into and around the wound with expert precision. "That's…really simple."

Hinata giggled softly. "It usually is."

She was leaning so close that he could easily bury his face in her hair and just breathe. If she would just look up at him…. Swallowing at the directions his thoughts were taking, Sasuke glanced over her face, taking in the little details he had missed earlier. He immediately focused on the red rimming her opaque eyes and felt his roving thoughts skid to a halt.

_She's been crying._

Hinata reached beside her for the bandage and started to wrap his arm with acute concentration. Careful to make the wrapping tight but flexible, she tied it securely and leaned back with a satisfied smile. Before she could ask him if there were any more injuries he was hiding from her, she felt the warmth of his hand cup her cheek, stilling her instantly.

The slightest pressure lifted her face towards him, his thumb softly brushing against her skin. "Did I do this?"

Slender brows furrowed. "Do what?"

"Make you cry."

A soft blush blossomed on her pale cheeks and her eyes dropped down in an old habit of avoidance that never abated. Laying her hand over his, Hinata gently tugged it down to rest in her lap.

"Sakura-san said some of the nerves have started to regenerate on their own and they are very sensitive." She idly played with his fingers, entwining them with her own. "There's always been pain before, but this time…."

_Crap._

"Demo, Naruto-kun helped me through it."

_Double crap._

There were a million excuses he could list for why he hadn't been there when she needed him to be, but none of them were good enough. He had no idea the treatments caused her pain and when the mission became something more, well, he'd thought she would've been done before he and Naruto got back. The fact that it had been Naruto of all people who'd been there for her when _he_ very well could've been was just salt on an open wound.

"Will you continue the treatments?"

Her head jerked up. "Hai! I don't want to stop now."

A knowing smirk tugged at his lips. _Of course you wouldn't._

"When is your next appointment?"

"Three days."

_I won't miss that one._ Sasuke looked down at her slender fingers entangled with his. _So small, so frail…so stubborn._ "Are you still in pain?"

"I have a slight headache," she admitted, his concern warming her heart and cheeks. "It's nothing serious."

He disentangled their hands and collected her leftover supplies. "Rest," he ordered, slipping off the bed to deposit the bandages and salve in the bathroom. When he returned, Hinata had done as he asked and curled up under the warm blankets of their bed.

Resisting the desire to crawl in with her, he turned away from the tempting sight to perform his nightly walkthrough. It'd barely been over a week now, but the habit had become too deeply ingrained to resist. No more harm would come to Hinata under his watch.

_I've sure made a spectacular failure of this whole marriage thing._ It was a wonder she hadn't decided to up and leave him already. Looking down at the bandage tightly bound to his arm, his lips twitched into a miniscule smile. She was still much more capable than she gave herself credit for, than any of them gave her credit for. Months ago, when he'd first decided to marry her, he only considered what he might gain in the way of children. Never did he think she would take over his mind and heart, embedding herself deeper into his soul with every mistake, every triumph experienced between them. So much power and determination lay buried beneath the meek face she presented to the world. His treasure.

_Itachi was wrong._

Attachments didn't make him weak. It was the memory of Hinata's desperate lavender eyes that pulled him from the clinging shadows of death. In that moment he knew he would have done anything to see her just one more time, to be the man she believed him to be. So far he had screwed up royally.

Running a hand through his thick hair, Sasuke scowled as he stalked down the dark hallway. Yeah, he screwed up, but she never stopped forgiving him and that gave him hope. No matter what anyone said, there was something between them that couldn't be explained and he didn't want to try because then it might become an illusion in his tortured mind.

It was so very wrong for him to want her, to need her the way that he did because he was everything dark and sinful and she was the light, redemption, salvation he would never be worthy of. But he was here, alive, with her and the world continued to turn as if this was the way it was supposed to be from the beginning of time. What could the darkness ever offer to the light but a place to shine?

Sasuke's steps halted and he glanced into the darkened room beside him from which the familiar mixed scent of herbs wafted. Stepping through the door, he flicked on the light and took in the bottles and containers lining once barren shelves. A desk in the middle of the room held measuring cups and spoons of various sizes and he picked one up, eyeing the kanji engraved into the wood. Brushing his thumb over the deep groove, his eyes crinkled into a smile. _Smart girl._

Gently returning the cup to its exact place, he turned off the light and continued his walkthrough.

Perhaps he shouldn't have expected so much from the short time they'd been together. She was only just finding her way again, but he couldn't help hunger for her. How exactly did one go about seducing a shy, innocent, blind woman, especially when it appeared that she bore no such interest in you?

Sasuke had to admit that burned a little. He knew he was good-looking judging from the influx of fan-girls he'd been forced to endure his entire life and even if Hinata couldn't see him now, she had known him back then and _still_ preferred the dobe. It was stupid to be jealous of Naruto for anything that occurred in the past and the blonde was clearly head over heels for his pink-haired fiancé, but just knowing Naruto once and might still hold a place in Hinata's heart infuriated him.

She was _his _wife**.** The only man she should ever be thinking about was him. Sure, they shared a bed and he held her every night, but not once did she give any sign that she would welcome more. Neither had she given a sign that she wanted anything from anyone else either and that was the only thing that kept him from beating the tar out of his best friend.

With frustration and anger now burning in his chest, Sasuke finished his rounds and stalked back to his room. Hinata hadn't moved from her spot, but her eyes flickered open when he climbed into bed, decidedly exhausted and wide awake.

"You should be asleep," Sasuke grunted.

She tucked her hands under her chin, face faintly shaded. "Ano, could you read to me?"

It was stupid, he decided, that he should spend ten minutes stoking the fires of jealousy and rage only to have her defuse it in one breath. _Have I become so weak that I can't deny this woman anything?_

Picking up the book they had left off reading days before, Sasuke settled back against the pillows and thumbed through for the right page. As he started to read, Hinata slowly edged closer, drawn towards his warmth and the soothing cadences of his dark, silken voice. The throbbing in her head began to subside and she closed her eyes.

Once her breathing evened out, Sasuke closed the book and set it on the nightstand. Switching the light off, he eased onto his side and propped his head on his hand to study her sweet face in repose. She was so very trusting, sleeping peacefully in his bed never thinking he would ever take advantage of her innocent naiveté. As it was, only years of harsh training and self-control held him at bay when he wanted nothing more than to ravish those petal pink lips until she was breathless and wanting. He wanted her to touch him and know every muscle and scar as intimately as she knew the furniture in their house and show her in the throes of passion that she made him feel things he never thought he was capable of feeling.

Tracing his fingers along her forehead, Sasuke brushed strands of raven from her face, tucking them behind her ear and caressing down the curve of her jaw to her chin. His gaze caught on softly parted lips wondering how much lay at risk if he were to steal a kiss now. It was unlikely she would ever know judging from how deeply she slumbered, no doubt exhausted from her ordeal today. Just last night he'd felt the feathered touch of those lips in gratitude and been haunted by them ever since.

Gently tangling his fingers in her short hair, Sasuke leaned down and tentatively kissed her pale cheek. _I'm not a saint._

When Hinata didn't stir he tilted his head, lips hovering over hers. _I'm just a man. _

As his lips brushed hers, pearlescent eyes flickered open and Sasuke froze, heart seizing in his chest. Her sleepy eyes shifted back and forth unseeingly before slipping closed again.

Heart jolting back into gear, Sasuke rolled onto his back and threaded his fingers into his hair in frustration.

_I am the most hopeless man on the planet._ Moving into their second week together and he couldn't even get a kiss. Itachi must be laughing his head off. At least she didn't hate him. He had that much going for him, but it didn't quell the constant burning ache in his chest in the slightest.

It would help if he knew she was suffering the same as him. She appeared to enjoy his company since she smiled a lot around him, but Hinata enjoyed the company of many different people. Looking at the bandage on his arm, he noted that she was very intent on taking care of him as well. _She's a medic. It's in her nature to want to take care of others._

Sasuke scowled at the ceiling. It was ridiculously unfair that he, the allegedly cold-hearted, merciless former Avenger should have developed feelings before the kind-hearted former heiress did. Not only was Itachi laughing at him, but so were the kamis.

Something cold and soft grazed his skin and Sasuke flinched but didn't pull away. The slender digits curved around his arm to secure their hold, a small nose snuggling against his shoulder. Breathing out slowly, he looked over at the tormenter of his thoughts hugging his arm like a teddy bear. Once comfortable, Hinata sighed happily and quieted in her sleep.

Eyes softening, Sasuke rolled onto his side again and pulled her unresisting body against him. She murmured unintelligibly and curled into his warmth, snug and protected in the circle of his arms.

Pressing his face against her hair, Sasuke breathed deeply and conceded to the fact that not even the most skilled genjutsu masters could conceive a more blissful torture.

And he was a willing victim.

***

Her breath left her with a woosh and Hinata stumbled back, gasping for breath and rubbing at her stomach.

"You're not focusing."

"Gomen!" Forcing her protesting muscles to stretch, Hinata slid into her juuken stance and waited.

Neji frowned. There was nothing wrong with Hinata's stance for it came to her as second nature even after a few years of inactivity. She was badly out of shape, but this would soon be remedied as her training regimen increased. Fluid and graceful like a dancer, even blind she had little trouble keeping up with him having discovered she could focus acutely on his chakra signature. It probably helped that they had sparred regularly in the past and so she knew most of his moves by heart…and he was moving at a snail's pace.

Either way, she was learning to adapt hand to hand combat with her ability to sense chakra, but her focus had been slipping in the last ten minutes.

"Let's take a break," he suggested, noting how heavily she was breathing. That last blow she let slip through certainly hadn't helped.

"Oh, hai," she panted. Following the sound of his steps over to the porch, she sat down beside him and accepted the small cup of tea he handed her.

"Did Nanami-san bring this?" she asked, brows furrowed.

"Hai, a few minutes ago."

"I didn't notice," she murmured.

A smile tweaked Neji's lips and he sipped his tea. "You were preoccupied with your training."

They sat in silence for several minutes, enjoying the cool breeze and refreshing drink. Neither commented on the futility of their endeavor, of how slow her reactions were or the impossibility of successfully defending herself against someone she was less familiar with. The odds were inconsequential because Neji knew when he left today there would be a pure smile on her face, just as there had been the last two days since they started this new method of training. Outstanding odds had never stopped her before and they certainly wouldn't stop her now. Sometimes he believed she thrived on them. Already she was showing improvement in both her ability to sense chakra in motion and defending against in.

Watching her from the corner of his eye, Neji remembered why he had called a halt in the first place.

"Something's on your mind," he said and Hinata's cup froze halfway to her mouth. "It's been distracting you."

Her tea cup lowered and she bit her lip, but showed no inclination of speaking.

Neji's eyes narrowed with an unpleasant suspicion. "Did Sasuke do something?"

Hinata shook her head slowly. "I don't think so…."

Mixed relief and disappointment settled over the Hyuuga genius. So much for having a good reason to attack the man again, but at least he wasn't hurting Hinata, intentionally or not.

"But it does have to do with Sasuke," he surmised from her vague answer.

Cupping her tea in both hands, Hinata tapped her thumbs against the rim. "He's been acting strange."

A slender brow shot up over a silver eye. "Strange how?"

One petite shoulder rose and fell. "I don't think he is sleeping well and he seems so tense all the time."

The second brow joined the first. "Is that it?"

Hinata hunched over her tea. "I don't know what's wrong, demo, I'm sure something is. I'm worried. If he keeps losing sleep over it, he could get sick or injured on a mission."

Neji kindly refrained from snorting at the possibility of the Uchiha getting injured on the type of missions he was currently assigned to…unless he got into a tussle with Naruto of course.

"Have you tried asking him?"

Sightless lavender eyes turned on him with an expression disturbingly like the one he often bore in the presence of his green-clad sensei and teammate. _Stupid question. Fair enough._

"You could at least try," he forged ahead anyway. After all, none of his ideas were ever _truly_ stupid.

A slender finger pressed against pink lips. "He does want me to tell him when something is bothering me. I don't suppose it's fair if he doesn't do the same," she murmured.

_Although he might have his reasons_, Neji mused. After all, he had no trouble keeping secrets from Tenten when he deemed it in her best interests. Of course, if she ever found out she would pin him to the wall for days to be lectured by Gai-sensei on how to properly treat the "treasured youth of one's precious flower".

Neji shuddered at the unpleasant image. "Do you have a treatment with Sakura today?"

"Hai. Sasuke-ku—, Sasuke promised to be back in time to take me."

_He wants her to confide in him, has promised to help her through her treatments, is losing sleep at night…okay, now __**I'm **__starting to worry._

It hadn't escaped his notice either that Hinata was attempting to say his name without an honorific. The courtesy was so deeply ingrained in her that he almost didn't think her capable of correcting her speech. Obviously she believed it was something worth changing.

Hinata's head jerked up suddenly and a mixed expression of happiness and anxiety flickered across her face.

"He's home."

Neji strained his senses to detect the volatile chakra she responded so quickly to and could barely feel it flickering at the edge of his range. It steadily strengthened into a pulse as the owner approached their position and admiration shot through him at her strengthened ability. He was considered the strongest of their Clan and yet her ability to sense chakra by far exceeded his own.

Standing from his perch on the courtyard porch, Neji turned with Hinata to greet her husband. The moment Sasuke appeared, Neji knew Hinata was right. Something was seriously wrong with the man.

Tension threaded tightly through his entire body so much that his gait appeared stiff. It only grew worse when Sasuke's dark eyes landed on the petite kunoichi. Neji forcefully bit his lip to keep from laughing for it was quite obvious to him Sasuke was suffering the same malady _he_ had recently acquired. Shadows lined his eyes, telling of the sleep he'd lost and Neji felt the tiniest amount of sympathy for him. Uchiha Sasuke was possibly the most frustrated man he'd ever seen in his life and sweet, innocent Hinata didn't have a clue.

"Hyuuga."

"Uchiha."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed sharply at the blatant amusement dancing in silver orbs.

Turning to Hinata, Neji dropped a soft kiss on her forehead. "Think about it."

"Oh, hai!"

Casting a knowing smirk at a glowering Sasuke, Neji let himself out. Had it been anyone else, he couldn't have been moved from Hinata's side with all the force of an army when a male with designs on her body stood so close. Had it been anyone else, Neji would have killed him just for looking at his innocent cousin that way. Had it been anyone else but the man who had managed to sleep beside her for ten days without laying a single finger on her while possessing the marital right to do so.

Even Neji couldn't help but admire that kind of self-control…and the reason behind it.

***

Sasuke glowered after the smug Hyuuga, contemplating how long it would take Hinata to forgive him if he beat her cousin to a bloody pulp. It might relieve some of his tension, but he didn't think he was ready to experience her accusing silence again. With a reluctant sigh, Sasuke turned back to the only person to possess the power to sway his decisions and swallowed hard.

Her sweater had been abandoned in the midst of training, revealing a snug fitting short sleeve shirt hugging her curves like he longed to do. _I'm getting sick of being jealous of inanimate objects_, Sasuke scowled.

"Let's go," he snapped a bit more gruffly than he intended.

Hinata straightened up with a jolt. "Oh, hai, ano," she turned half a step and an adorably lost expression seized her features. Amusement tugged at his lips and he strode across the porch to pick up her sweater. If was strangely satisfying to be needed for such simple things, especially when she smiled so brightly at him like he had just handed her the world.

"Arigato, Sasuke-ku—, Sasuke." A bright blush infused her cheeks and Sasuke felt his heart trip and stumble before righting itself again.

"Hn," he managed a strangled grunt. "Let's go."

Hinata's smile faltered and she sighed quietly, shrugging into her sweater as she followed his chakra signature into the house. He no longer made even the slightest noise when he walked, knowing she could find him easily without it, but she'd always taken comfort from the sounds of his presence. He made so little as it was.

_Gomen, Neji-nii-san. I don't think he will talk to me at all._ In the last few days, Sasuke had kept a stiff distance from her, both physically and verbally. He still held her at night, but his body remained so ridged and tense that she feared his muscles might dry out and freeze him that way. And his words, like today, were no less than curt and gruff. He wasn't cruel, just…distracted.

When the foot traffic increased on the road he silently took her hand, pulling her closer. Hinata's worries fizzled and she curled her fingers around his.

"_Actions speak louder than words, ne?"_

She tilted her face up, wishing once more she could see _his_ face, not just to know or guess at what he was thinking, but to truly see him as he was now. Were his eyes still as foreboding and cold as a winter night? Was his hair longer, thicker, still the same raven hue as her own? Did time and pain carve its mark into his face? Was he still as hauntingly beautiful as she remembered?

_What is he doing with __**me**__? Why does he care?_

As if sensing the doubts and insecurities swarming her mind, his hand squeezed hers and Hinata smiled.

Actions spoke louder than words. There was no need for why.

* * *

**Also **thanks to _**Starfire201, Claudia, Jay_chAn, Castiel, hinata fan, MDZ, akane101, misha48, shadowreader, JayMayLay, Blah…, **_and_** Lady Uchiha D **_for your varied, encouraging, amusing, and entertaining reviews.

Alright, which one of you chibi shy shadow readers ate my brownies? I see those crumbs on your faces—hey, get back here!


	22. in Restraint

**A/N- **Well look at that. Did take me as long as I thought it would to find a spare time slot. Admitedly, I don't think I cleaned up this chapter as good as my obsessive compulsive inner editor usually likes, but oh well. I'm on the clock here.

**Keru-arashi** did a chibi cute picture for chapter 20 and **MaliaNyla** did a really sharp pencil drawing of Sasuke and Hinata. Find the links in my profile.

**Disclaimer: **…

Enjoy!

_**Ikigai**_

**in Restraint**

**Chapter 22**

Walking into the hospital while knowing what awaited her was not nearly as nerve-racking with Sasuke leading the way. The man radiated strength and confidence and she knew he would never let anything happen to her in his keeping.

_I'm doing this to become strong again, for myself and now for him too._

"Ohayo, Sasuke-kun, Hinata-chan!"

Hinata smiled and Sasuke grunted, releasing Hinata's hand to stuff his into his pockets.

"Ohayo, Sakura-san." Hinata took two steps towards the cheery medic's voice and reached out to grasp the doorframe of her office. Surprisingly it was right where she anticipated it to be. It was just a few more steps until she found the couch and seated herself on the softly worn cushions.

Sasuke hung back by the door, watching her assured movements. One would hardly know she couldn't see a thing. _Why exactly am I here again?_

"Come in and close the door, Sasuke," Sakura said, amusement softening her words. "We try to keep this as private as possible."

Shooting her an annoyed glare, he entered the surprisingly clutter-free office and pushed the door closed. Impervious to all of his expressions, be them threatening or irritated, Sakura scooped up her stool and file and planted herself by the couch.

"So how have you been, Hinata? Any changes?"

"Neji-nii-san started working with me on chakra perception. I think my range has increased, but I don't know if this is because of the treatment or if it's just naturally trying to compensate like my other senses."

"Both are possibilities," Sakura agreed, "but it's too early to tell. Is it just a broad range perception or are you able to pinpoint it?"

"Both. When Nii-san and I sparred, I was able to block most of his hits by concentrating on the chakra in his palms and I could sense Sasuke before he stepped into the house."

The former Avenger blinked. He didn't know what surprised him more, that Hinata was so in tune to his chakra that she could sense him at such a distance or that she was able to say his name without stuttering and without an honorific. Sakura shot him an amused smile and he scowled back.

"Good," she continued, studiously ignoring his glare. "Your kinesthetic sense must have greatly improved if you are able to spar. When was the last time you bumped into anything?"

Hinata's brow scrunched up in thought and Sasuke's in confusion.

"Kinesthetic sense?" he asked.

Sakura tilted her head back to look at him. "Body awareness. When you close your eyes, you always know where your hand is, right? Kinesthetic sense is especially vital in regards to movement and hand-eye coordination. Without the visual aspect, Hinata's ability to perform simple tasks is seriously inhibited. For example, she burned herself on the teapot because she couldn't _sense_ where it was in relation to her hand without the ability to actually _see_ it."

Looking back at Hinata, Sakura smiled. "Training with Neji will really help you to improve your kinesthetic sense and coordination but I suggest you try sparring with others as well so that you don't become too dependent on his specific chakra signature."

"Hai."

"How long did the headache last after your last treatment?"

"It was gone by morning."

Sakura nodded as she finished off her notes and set the file aside. "Okay, I'll do a quick scan to see if I can pick up on any changes first, okay?"

Hinata nodded quickly and then held still as Sakura laid her hand on her brow and closed her eyes in concentration.

Sasuke silently mulled over Sakura's suggestion while watching the two silent kunoichi. There was a definite unease threading Hinata's slender form ever since they set foot in the hospital, but he couldn't decide if it was a lingering memory of her previous stay there or the anticipation of the next treatment. It was painful, she said, more so than the previous treatments. Hinata was no stranger to pain, especially since her ordeal, but this frightened her and he couldn't fathom how bad it could possibly be or how he was to help her through it. Comfort wasn't exactly his forte.

"Everything looks good." Sakura finally pulled back. "You ready?"

Hinata stiffened and hesitantly nodded. Taking a deep, calming breath, she lay back on the couch and futilely attempted to make herself comfortable. Sakura looked at Sasuke and jerked her head. Brows furrowing, he obeyed the silent command and kneeled beside the couch when the pink-haired medic pointed at Hinata's hand and raised a brow.

He didn't need the not-so-subtle direction to know what to do now. Hinata's hands were shaking uncontrollably, curling into the fabric of the couch in anticipation of serious trauma. Carefully prying her fingers loose, Sasuke slipped his hand into hers and squeezed gently.

Her response was immediate, her small hand tightly clutching his even as her body relaxed into the cushions of the couch. Sakura braced her hands on either side of Hinata's temples and Hinata tensed briefly in expectation.

"Ready?" Sakura asked softly.

"Hai."

Sasuke winced when Hinata's hand suddenly spasmed, squeezing his fingers with a force he didn't know she could possess. As if struck with an electric charge, her entire body went rigid and sweat broke out across her creased brow. Sakura's chakra flowed steadily, the pink-haired medic ignoring the obvious pain of her patient in an effort to concentrate on the delicate reconstruction and healing of chakra pathways and fibrous nerve endings. Only when Hinata started trembling violently did Sakura withdraw her chakra and sit back to wipe the back of her sleeve across her own brow.

Hinata gasped sharply as one taking their first breath of air after being underwater for too long. As rigid as her body had been a moment ago, it fell limp and alarming lifeless in the aftermath, her chest heaving with exhausted pants. Sasuke gently rubbed her hand between his to instill warmth into the cold digits and reassure himself that she was strong enough to handle what could very well be considered torture if not for the healing aspect of it. Knowing this didn't ease the hard knot in his chest in the least.

"Couldn't you have given her a sedative," he demanded.

Sakura sighed and walked over to the small sink in her office. "A sedative at this stage is counter-productive. Numb nerve endings seldom respond to healing chakra. As it was, I could only hold it for five minutes. Our last session was almost ten. The pain and sensitivity was more severe this time."

Sasuke scowled down at his wife, noting her breathing had calmed but sweat still dampened her forehead. Was it really worth it to put her through such agony when the chances were so minimal as to not even be measurable?

"Here."

Sasuke wordlessly accepted the damp cloth and smoothed it across Hinata's brow with meticulous care. Hinata had known it would be this bad and yet not once had she cried out or turned away from the only opportunity she had to regain her sight. As much as he hated seeing her suffer like this, he was proud of her courage to do so. For that alone he wouldn't ask her to stop. At least, not yet.

Under the soothing touch of the cool cloth, Hinata slowly relaxed. Anxiety not her own seeped into her and she internally cringed. It'd been comforting to have Sasuke with her, using his strength to sustain her through the pain, but not once had she considered what he might think to watch her experience it. Considering all he had gone through to prevent any injury befalling her in the past, she should've known seeing her willing submit to such measures would not sit well with him. _Will he forbid me to continue the treatments?_

"I don't know how long it will take to see distinct results," Sakura said, her voice sounding distant to the depleted kunoichi.

"Hn."

Strong arms slipped under her back and knees and lifted her easily off the couch. Hinata instinctively looped her arms around his neck and let her head fall weakly against his shoulder.

"Give her some Chamomile tea when you get home," Sakura said as she opened the door. "It will ease the headache and help her sleep. Send for me in the morning if there are any problems."

Sasuke tilted his head in acknowledgment and strode down the hallway with his feather-light burden. One wasn't usually seen carrying someone _out _of the hospital, so he garnered a few head turns and double takes when people realized who he was and who he was holding. He paid them no mind, interested only in getting his exhausted wife home.

She rested lightly in his arms, fragile and delicate and so very far from both. No, he could never believe her to be fragile ever again, not after what he just saw.

"Gomen," she whispered when he turned down the darkening street into the Uchiha district. "Gomen for being so much trouble."

_There she goes, apologizing for foolish things again._ Sasuke sighed.

"You were trouble long before I decided to marry you," he muttered and then winced at his less than considerate words. The woman had just endured pain such as few shinobi could willingly submit themselves to and he was telling her that she had never been anything but trouble. _Real smooth, moron. _

The longer Hinata remained silent, the worse Sasuke felt and he decided guilt was an emotion he ought to try to avoid in the future. It made his gut churn.

"Th-then, why did you?"

Sasuke shifted her slightly, wishing she would drop this dangerous line of questioning. Surely nothing good could come from rehashing the reasons and circumstances behind their marriage.

"You know why," he said with finality she apparently decided to ignore.

"You…you want children that badly?" The uncertainty and underlining fear in her voice almost brought him to a standstill, but Sasuke kept his feet moving determinedly towards home. _If I said yes, would she give herself to me tonight?_ As appealing as that thought might be to his overly-stressed body, Sasuke found the memory of her bright eyes full of happiness and trust far more desirable. He did want children from her, but no longer just for the reason she believed.

"I hear kids are costly," he said finally. "I need to be pulling A-rank missions before taking on the extra expense."

Hinata's head lifted from his shoulder and he glanced at her from the corner of his eye. Perplexed confusion blanketed her face for a moment before her eyes softened with an expression of wonder he'd only seen once before when he displayed interest in continuing her eye treatments. A shy smile flickered across her face and she laid her head on his shoulder again, snuggling into his neck as her arms wrapped more firmly around him.

Such a cold reply would have offended any other woman, but to the wife of the single richest man in all of Konoha, there were no sweeter words.

"_He's waiting for you."_

Tenten was right.

_So now what do I do?_ For the remainder of the walk home, Hinata silently mulled over the collective advice she'd received from fellow kunoichi. Suggestions ranging from flirtation to outright seduction filed through her mind, none of which she believed herself even the least bit capable of doing. If she was to show Sasuke he was the only man she wanted to be with, she was going to have to find her own way.

_He has done so much for me and I do want to be with him, but he hasn't even kissed me yet. Maybe, maybe that's where I should start._

Unaware of the strategy formulating in her mind, Sasuke pushed the front door of the compound open with his foot and kicked it closed behind him. Nanami popped into the hallway, eyes widening when she saw him carrying her young charge in his arms.

"Is she alright?"

"She needs rest," Sasuke said, striding past her towards the stairs. "Bring some Chamomile tea up."

"Hai, Sasuke-sama."

Hinata uncurled when he lowered her onto their bed and obediently remained there while he fetched her pajamas, the deep violet ones because he liked how the color made her eyes shine like polished gemstones.

_I'm a glutton for punishment. _He scowled as he returned to her side and laid the sinfully silky garment next to her.

"Allow Nanami to help you tonight," he ordered, hardening his voice to convey his command since his glares were ineffective on her.

Hinata meekly nodded and having acquired her submission, Sasuke locked himself in the bathroom for a nice long, cold shower. All that talk of children while holding her snuggly against him had not been helpful in the least. Only once he was shivering did he turn the water to hot and proceed to wash off the day's dust, taking his time to give Hinata as much privacy as he could to change.

He scrubbed himself down twice before turning off the water and drying off. Attacking his hair more viciously than usual with his towel, Sasuke chafed it until it was less than damp and his scalp was tingling from the rough treatment. Hanging it up on a hook so Hinata wouldn't trip on it, he slipped on his black pajama pants and stalked back into the bedroom, running his hand through his damp mop to arrange it in some semblance of order.

Hinata sat quietly in bed, pillows plumped behind her while she gingerly sipped her tea. Eyeing the color easing into her pale features, Sasuke sighed off some of his frustration.

"Daijoobu?"

Her rosy cheeks darkened and she nodded. "Oh, hai."

"Hn." Tapping his fingers against his thigh, Sasuke turned on his heel and stalked out of the room to begin his nightly routine.

Hinata waited for ten breaths after his near inaudible footsteps vanished before cautiously setting her tea down on the bedside table and pushing the covers back. Slipping to her feet, she waited for several breaths more for her legs to stop shaking. The treatment had been far more agonizing than she had anticipated even after the last time, but having Sasuke beside her silently sharing his strength was enough to get her through. He was angry and anxious and so many other things that she couldn't grasp, but he had yet to say one word regarding what had occurred except for inquiring as to how she was feeling. That alone was not something he was accustomed to doing, but she wished just for once he would say what was on his mind.

When her legs firmed beneath her, she slowly made her way to the bathroom and closed herself in. Going through her own nightly routine, she listened attentively for Sasuke's return and breathed relief to find his chakra considerably calmer than before. Whatever he did every night before going to bed obviously helped him to compose his thoughts and feelings.

Setting down her toothbrush, she braced her hands on the sink and tried to summon her flickering courage from the embers buried deep within. It wasn't much she was asking of herself, just a little boldness, a little wanting for the things all women were entitled to. Closing her eyes tightly, she embraced a cherished and forbidden memory.

She had never felt so alive as in that one moment when Sasuke first kissed her to prove his existence and hers. Often she dreamed of it, savoring his touch as maybe meaning more than what it did then. After all, he had promised to come back for her. He told her to wait for him and she did, desperately, until her family took the choice from her and arranged her marriage.

_If he'd been too late, if Otoya had taken me, would Sasuke still have wanted me then?_

Shaking her head slowly at first in denial and then vehemently in refusal, Hinata decided it didn't bear thinking about. Here and now was all that mattered in the life of a shinobi when tomorrow was such a fragile future, and the only reason she even had a here and now was because of the man in the next room.

Turning on the faucet, she splashed icy water over her face to cool her heated skin. _He's the only man I want to be with, _she reminded herself. Reaching out for a towel, she quickly dried off and froze when a distinct masculine smell wafted from the already damp cloth. Hinata inhaled deeply and smiled. Even his scent leant her courage and soothed her nerves like nothing she had ever known. After all, it was the first thing she noticed about him when finding herself lost in darkness.

Returning the towel to its hook, Hinata raised her chin, squared her shoulders, and opened the door.

His eyes were on her instantly, but she'd grown use to his frequent scrutiny. It was possible Sasuke didn't even realize he watched her as often as he did. When she reached the bed, she turned to sit on the edge and fiddled with the edge of her pajama shirt until she felt his gaze shift away.

Taking a slow shaky breath, Hinata reached up and plucked at the top button of her top until it slipped through the hole. Finding courage with each subsequent button, she trailed her fingers down the silk, methodically freeing them all until none were left.

_Now or never._

Clasping her hands over her shoulders, she curled her fingers under the fabric and slowly pulled it back, letting the silk slip down the length of her arms. Shivers danced down her spine with the contrasting cool air dancing across her skin and the immediate heat of obsidian eyes. Pretending to be unaware of his undivided attention, Hinata tugged the long sleeve shirt off and hung it neatly on the headboard post. Curling her legs up onto the bed, she then snuggled down into her pillow, fighting the urge to huddle under the blanket, and waited with baited breath and a thundering heart.

Sasuke's mind blanked out with the first glimpse of a perfectly rounded shoulder. In fact, they came in pairs! His eyes trailed down the graceful curve of her back and furrowed when they encountered deep violet concealing the rest of her from his hungry gaze. Of course, the pajamas were a three piece set, but Hinata had never removed the long sleeve top before so he just assumed she didn't bother with the little camisole that was to be worn underneath.

Perhaps little was too generous a word for the flimsy silk cloth. Thin spaghetti straps curved over her shoulders holding it in place, but the hem just barely skimmed the top of her form fitting pants, taunting him with another strip of bare skin alternately winking and hiding with each of her movements. When she leaned over to hang her shirt on the bedpost, he was treated to a wondrous view of her finely-toned lower back. His only wish was that she would turn towards him so he could see if the front was half as enticing as the back, but Hinata merely laid down and made herself comfortable, tucking the blanket around her.

Swallowing harshly against the dry lump in his throat, Sasuke tried to kick-start his brain. Closing his book slowly and blinking several times, his analytical genius rapidly catalogued the conflicting signals his shy little wife was sending.

The little, enticing camisole screamed only one thing, but knowing Hinata, it was more of a timidly whispered possibility. Her posture was stiff despite her efforts to relax and she hadn't burrowed under the blankets like she usually did despite how cold she was. Ignoring her shivering for a moment, his eyes grazed down the length of her arm bared to his perusal and resting atop the blankets that could easily give the warmth she needed to stave off the chill.

Leaning closer, he tilted his head to stare down at her face to find her eyes wide open and staring off into nothingness. She wasn't trying to ignore the moment or the consequences, merely waiting for him to take what she offered.

_What exactly is she offering?_ Brows furrowed, Sasuke considered her actions once more. The first time he saw her wearing her new pajamas she had buttoned every last button and worn it like a shield. Now, without it…_she has made herself vulnerable._

It's unwise and oftentimes fatal for a shinobi to leave oneself vulnerable, but he wasn't her enemy and Hinata had dropped her shields willingly. It would be cruel and foolish to abuse her trust.

Setting his book on the nightstand, Sasuke turned off the light and rolled back onto his side to contemplate his wife. A slant of moonlight arched through the windows and her skin glowed under its touch. Slowly, so as not to startle her, he laid his hand on her bare shoulder, palm and fingers draping over the curve of bone and muscle. She neither tensed nor relaxed and he idly brushed his thumb across her skin beside the thin strap of her top in a silent attempt to reassure her.

_So soft,_ he mused, drinking in the sight of her like a thirsting man lost in the desert. His hand slowly smoothed down her arm to her elbow, paused, and then smoothed back up. Idly he considered the fact that he was quite literally petting her and simply couldn't bring himself to stop. Every part of his skin touching hers tingled like peppermint on his tongue and as much as he enjoyed finally, _finally, _touching her, he wanted even more to taste her. The next time his hand stroked down to her elbow, he leaned over and pressed a lingering kiss to her rounded shoulder, smirking at her sharp intake of breath. Trailing his hand down the entire length of her arm, Sasuke encircled her wrist and pressed her arm to her chest beneath his own, their hands splaying over her thundering heart as he pulled her back against him.

Nuzzling his face into the exposed skin between her shoulder and neck, Sasuke sighed. Hinata's heart continued to pound a rapid rhythm beneath their joined hands but with each passing minute, tension leaked out of her until she was nearly limp in his embrace.

"Is it worth it?" He murmured, lips brushing her skin.

It took her a moment to realize what he was asking and when she did, her heart thudded to a halt. Would he understand how much this little hope meant to her even if it might never prove successful?

"Yes," she breathed.

"The pain may get worse." It was both an observation and a warning and Hinata knew it as well as he did.

"It's okay," she finally said, spreading the fingers trapped against her chest to thread with his. "If you are there."

Sasuke's heart somersaulted and he hugged her tightly, pressing every inch of her back against him. "It may never work."

"I know."

"It's okay if it doesn't."

"I know."

Forcing his heart to calm with a shaky breath, Sasuke closed his eyes and snuggled into her short hair. "I'll be there."

* * *

A feather soft caress along her arm beckoned Hinata to awareness. The warmth of the rising sun was nothing compared to the fire being stoked with each stroke of long limbed fingers. Torn between melting under the soothing touch and flinching away from the electric sparks dancing across her skin, Hinata feigned sleep, but her uneven breaths gave away her awareness. She almost breathed a sigh of relief when the teasing touch pulled away, but before she could so much as react, a calloused hand slipped under her shirt and rested like a warm spot of sunlight on the flat of her stomach.

Lavender eyes snapped wide open, hand clamping down to imprison Sasuke's before it could sneak any further. Her breath hitched and color furiously flushed her cheeks at the uncomfortable situation she caught herself in. His strong hand was trapped beneath hers, unnaturally warm and possessively spanning the width of her abdomen, but he couldn't remove it if she didn't first release him. If she released him, what was to say he would remove it? He was being quite forward all of a sudden!

_Well, you did invite him in a way, _an annoyingly honest voice reminded her.

His fingers twitched and she jolted, eyes widening almost to panic. Had she only been able to see the smirk curling his lips and amusement dancing in his eyes, she would've at least had feminine indignance to shelter her from the havoc his touch played on her senses.

They stayed frozen like that for several minutes, the flames in Hinata's cheek steadily burning as she tried to figure out how to extract herself from this particular stalemate.

"Hinata," Sasuke finally broke the silence and she internally scowled at the injustice of his lethally sensuous voice. It was as frighteningly potent as his touch, sinking into her mind and flesh like warm honey and leaving her alarmingly weak of will and body.

"Are you afraid of me?"

She blinked, startled by the question and its possible implications. Was he angry? Offended? Hurt? Mocking? It was impossible to tell with her own emotions swirling about chaotically. If she said no, he might try to take things further than she was prepared to go. If she said yes, he might turn away from her and all her efforts and fragile courage would have been for nothing.

She'd never felt ashamed of emotion before, but now she didn't know if it was right for her to feel so torn and confused when Sasuke seemed to know exactly what he wanted. The only thing she knew for certain was that no harm would ever come to her in his keeping. Had he only asked her if she trusted him, her answer would've been certain.

Swallowing harshly, Hinata slowly pulled her hand away, unable to keep from stiffening with unease and anticipation of his next move. Whatever it would be, she would trust him, _must_ trust him.

Sasuke brushed his thumb idly across her skin, sending rivulets of tremors throughout her body infused with the heat of his hand splayed possessively across the womb that would one day carry the future of the Uchiha Clan. As usual, he had awakened long before her and taken the opportunity to better acquaint himself with her offering. As he had suspected, the front of her little camisole was as tantalizing as the back, dipping down just enough to offer a teasing glimpse to the hungry eye. Her steady breaths of slumber caused the silk to shimmer and shift with the rise and fall of her chest and while a tiny voice in the back of his mind chastised him for ogling his innocently unaware wife, another, louder voice was enumerating the many things he longed to do to her.

He didn't know what he had done to deserve either her or the trust she offered so freely, but he would prove himself worthy of both.

"How's your head?"

Hinata's doe-like eyes crinkled in puzzlement. His hand still rested lightly on her stomach showing no inclination of moving and he was asking her how her head was?

"Ano, it's okay," she said despite the lingering throbbing behind her eyes.

Sasuke scrutinized her silently, letting her feel his obvious disbelief.

Hinata squirmed under the weight of his gaze and sighed reluctantly. "It…aches a little."

"I'll have Nanami make you some tea," he said, satisfied only when she told him the truth. Slowly dragging his hand out from under her shirt, he smirked at the little hitch in her breathing as his fingers left a tingling path down her soft skin. Timid she may be, but Hinata was anything but immune to his touch. _I should do this more often._

Sliding out of bed, he crossed over to the closet. _What Kami-forsaken mission has Naruto chosen for us today? _Either way, he was likely to be very dirty and very annoyed by the time it was over. Quickly donning his clothes, Sasuke strapped on his kunai pouch and turned to find Hinata still in bed, curled up on her side.

_Maybe she didn't tell me the whole truth after all. _Brows dipping into a thoughtful frown, Sasuke silently crossed over to her side of the bed and gazed down at her lightly flushed face as she hugged her pillow.

"Daijoobu?" he asked without thinking.

Hinata nodded jerkily, turning her face further into the pillow to hide.

A dark brow shot up and Sasuke's lips twitched into a smile. Poor thing was only just realizing the trouble she bought by tempting him with her innocent actions. Laying a gentle hand on her head, he tenderly combed his fingers through her soft hair.

"Get dressed and come down for breakfast," he murmured. "You need to eat before I go."

Hinata nodded again, face still buried in her pillow and Sasuke chuckled, grazing his fingers down the back of her neck before stepping away. Only after he left the room did Hinata release a frustrated huff and pull her head out of the pillow.

The man knew _exactly _what his touch did to her and felt no shame in tormenting her so! This suddenly affectionate side of the brooding Uchiha was both endearing and intimidating. His confidence by far outshined hers, always knowing what he wanted and not being afraid to take it. If only she had half of his self-assurance, it would be so much easier to love him.

Falling back onto her pillow, Hinata furiously tried to rub away the fierce blush threatening to incinerate her. She could admit it to herself. Somewhere in between all of the promises Sasuke had made, both big and small, every single one kept, he had taken her heart into his keeping. When he was gone, she ached. When he was home, she burned. When he was beside her, she felt content. When he held her, she felt safe. And when he touched her, she felt so charged full of life as to be bursting at the seams. She had never felt anything so chaotic, intense, and wonderful before and it awakened a shameless longing for more.

_He's my husband. I'm allowed to enjoy his touch,_ she reminded herself, but it didn't make her feel any less a wanton woman.

Sighing heavily, Hinata slipped out of bed, feeling considerably stronger than the previous night and eager to push her muddled emotions aside with some training. Her skills were nowhere near what they used to be, but each day saw a change, each bruise a reminder to move and think faster.

Bypassing the pile of kimonos she had yet to touch ever since Ami had been forcefully removed from their home and service, Hinata grabbed a short sleeve shirt, sweater, and a pair of cropped pants. Making a mental note to replenish them now that her casual clothes were getting more wear and tear from actual training, she quickly dressed and washed her face. She had made no real plans with anyone for today, but there was sure to be something she could do. If nothing else, she could work on her next batch of salves and ointments. Somehow word had gotten out that she was making them again and she had more requests than she could keep up with.

_Perhaps I'll have Nanami-san take me to the forest to collect more specimens for my garden._ Nodding decisively at this contingency plan, Hinata quickly ran a brush through her hair, blushing at the memory of Sasuke's fingers doing a more thorough job of it. Sighing helplessly, she placed the brush back in its place on the vanity. Even the most simple acts only served to remind her of him. _Do I flood his thoughts as much as he does mine?_

If the way he touched her was anything to go by, then perhaps she wasn't the only one suffering these oddly conflicting emotions after all.

* * *

**ShadowReader- **_"If Hinata is good with medicines, salves, etc. obviously possessing some medicinal knowledge would she really not suspect something as basic as poisoning, if not from the taste then at least from the symptoms?"_

While there is the possibility of that, in this instance Hinata had no reason to suspect anyone would attack her in such a way. Also, Ami did her research as Sakura had noted. The poison she used was tasteless and moved through the body very quickly, leaving the damage it caused to kill the victim slowly so it would appear to be a natural state of illness rather than the results of poisoning. If Sasuke hadn't caught Ami in the act of putting the poison in Hinata's tea, no one would have known what happened.

**Also **thanks to _**Sharingan-Sama, Castiel, MDZ, Jay-chAn, SasuHina, HinataUchiha101, Starfire201, misha48, zetnnik, oluja, Izumi, Blah…, **_and_** Bast **_for your fun reviews.

*stares at mountain of apology goodies* I think I'm going to need a treadmill now.


	23. in Vigilance

**A/N- **Here's the next chapter. Savor it, cuddle it, crumple it up and put it into your pocket for later. I'm going back to bed…which I never should have left in the first place.

**Disclaimer: …**

Enjoy!

_**Ikigai**_

**in Vigilance**

**Chapter 23**

"What's this?"

Naruto grinned as Sasuke eyed the scroll in his hand warily. "It's a mission scroll, baka. What else would it be?"

Shooting him an irritated glance, Sasuke broke the seal and unraveled the scroll. His brows creased with each word, few that they were. "Is this some kind of joke?"

The somber expression sweeping over Naruto's usually jovial features was as unsettling as the implications of the mission.

"Baa-chan wouldn't pull together the whole team for a joke."

"I'm not supposed to leave the village."

"You're leaving?"

Both men turned at the timid voice full of worry.

Naruto smiled. "Hey, Hinata. How're you feeling? Sakura said last night was a bit rough."

"I'm okay." She brushed his concern aside and crossed the foyer to stand near Sasuke's pulsing chakra, face tilting up. "You're leaving?"

Sasuke's heart clenched at the mingled hurt, fear, and worry tumbling together into a seed of panic in her voice. He glowered at Naruto for opening his big mouth when she was in hearing distance, not that either one of them had noticed her arrival.

Scratching the back of his head, Naruto laughed nervously. "Heh, it's nothing to worry about, Hinata-chan. It's just an A-rank reconnaissance, is all. Nothing Sasuke can't handle. The whole team is going, so it's no biggy. I think the Hokage just wants to test out his loyalties or some such nonsense. I'll make sure he comes back in one piece, I promise."

Naruto's promises were as good as gold, but Hinata still couldn't help feeling uneasy about this unexpected mission. Sasuke had been pushing D-ranks for almost two weeks now and suddenly the Hokage was sending him out on an A-rank?

The warmth of his hand at the small of her back jolted her out of her thoughts and she instinctively leaned toward his warmth.

"We don't leave until tomorrow morning. Go get your kunai and we'll train."

Hesitantly stepping away from him, she slowly made her way upstairs, feeling oddly off-balance but knowing better than to pass up this rare opportunity to train with him.

Only when he was certain she was out of earshot did Sasuke turn back to Naruto.

"Details."

"We've been getting some strange reports about a few attacks on pharmaceutical transports."

Sasuke shrugged. "What's that got to do with me?"

"It's only one man." Naruto eyed Sasuke with a measuring gaze. "Using snake summoning jutsu."

A cold chill slithered down Sasuke's back. "Only me and Orochimaru have snake summoning contracts."

"You sure he's dead?"

Obsidian clashed with sapphire. "Positive."

An uneasy silence shrouded the foyer, thick with speculation, accusation, and worry. Naruto's sharp eyes fixed on the empty hallway behind Sasuke.

"How much are you willing to wager on that?"

Sasuke crush the scroll in his hand. No. Not now. Not when he finally found peace and purpose again. Not when he was living his life the way he was born to before his brother slaughtered everything that meant anything to him. Not now that he had _her._

_I killed him once and I'll do it again if I have to. _

"You owe Hinata some training for upsetting her," he growled, stuffing the crumpled scroll into his pocket.

A befuddled look twisted Naruto's features. "Training? What sort of training?"

"Target practice." Sasuke strode back into his house. "You're the target."

* * *

Kneeling in the grass, Hinata braced herself with one hand, tugging out a kunai with the other. All was silent but for the wind whispering through the leaves and grass, birds chirping in the trees, and the faintest of vibrations thrumming through the air and ground. Jerking her head towards a flicker of motion on the peripheral of her senses, chakra flared and she gasped sharply when a brilliant image exploded inside her mind.

A startling imprint on the carbon of reality, three shining pinpoints of light on a charcoal canvas stood out like beacons in a midnight fog. Pushing past the pain of blinding intensity, Hinata flung three kunai in rapid succession and watched the beacons swirl in on themselves and blink out of existence with an audible poof. Collapsing into a panting heap, she pressed her forehead to the ground and willed the searing pain to subside.

Strong hands grabbed her arms, trying to pull her away from the healing earth and she forcefully shrugged them off, a strangled cry of protest ripping from her throat.

_Just one minute, _she silently pleaded, threading her fingers into the thick grass. The hands returned, less demanding and more reassuring, one clasping her arm while another rubbed soothing circles on her back. It seemed an eternity and a day before she heard the murmur of familiar voices above her.

"This ever happen before?"

"No."

"Maybe we should take her to the hospital."

"Just give her a minute."

It was enough, just hearing that velvet voice grant her the time she needed. The darkness that blanketed her vision was welcomed for the first time, soothing in familiarity and absence of light. Slowly Hinata pushed herself up on her hands and knees and with the aid of the hands still gripping her shoulders, sat back and crumpled against a solid wall of strength.

Sasuke cradled her head against his shoulder, checking her eyes for signs of abnormality but could discern nothing in the blank, pupil-less orbs. "You shouldn't have done that," he scolded, his sharp tone at odds with the tender way his fingers brushed against her temple.

"I didn't-" she gasped, chest squeezing tight in protest of the strain, "I didn't mean to!"

Tilting her up straighter, Sasuke rubbed her back to ease the spasms racking her tiny body as she struggled to regain her breath. Naruto sunk down into the grass beside them, eyeing her with obvious concern.

"That was pretty intense, Hinata-chan. I didn't know you were using chakra again."

One petite shoulder rose and fell in a half-hearted shrug. "It just…broke." There was no other way to describe it. It had been swelling up inside of her from the start of training, building with the increased focus and difficulty of locating and striking hidden and moving targets in the form of Kage Bushin while encompassed in a void absent of vision. When the bubble burst, it felt like being struck by a massive wave of charged water. Even now she could feel it flowing steadily through her body, cool and placid as a river following its rightful course.

Sasuke's nimble fingers gently and methodically massaged the back of her head and neck, soothing away the pain into a dull thrum of passive power and she sunk against him gratefully.

"Well, whatever it was," Naruto murmured, leaning his face against his fist, "you got every single one of my clones, even the ones hiding in the tree! They weren't even moving, so how did you know they were there?"

Pressing two fingers to her temple, Hinata rubbed them in a circular motion and scrunched her brow. "I…saw them."

Sasuke's fingers stilled on her neck and wide obsidian eyes met astonished blue.

Naruto hopped up onto his heels. "You _saw_ them?"

Sighing softly, Hinata slumped against Sasuke. "I don't know."

Slipping an arm under her knees, Sasuke scooped her up and she reflexively wrapped her arms around his neck even while she voiced her complaint.

"I can walk."

He grunted but didn't put her down. "No more chakra until Sakura checks you out."

Hinata mentally sighed but knew better than to argue when he used that tone of voice. She hadn't even been trying to use her chakra, it just…happened, but now that she could feel it flowing steadily through her body, she couldn't suppress her excitement at the possibilities.

"Sasuke, I—."

He squeezed her tightly and jumped, her words cutting off with a startled squeak at the unexpected movement. Naruto followed close on his heals out of the forest and into the village, thankfully silent for once. This newfound feeling of panic that had taken up residence in Sasuke's chest was seriously beginning to irk him. Maybe this is what Orochimaru and Itachi meant when they claimed that attachments only served to weaken you. When he saw Hinata collapse his only thought had been to get to her and make sure she was okay. Had they been in a real battle, her being in danger surely would have been a lethal distraction. One only had to look away from their opponent once to leave an opening.

Glancing down at his wife's calm features as she leaned her head against his shoulder, eyes half-lidded, he had to remind himself that he wasn't dealing with a brittle woman anymore. They'd been training for a good two hours, pushing her senses to their very limits and even at the very end when her chakra suddenly broke loose, not a single cry of pain departed from her lips. Likely it was nothing compared to the pain she willing endured during her treatments with Sakura or the fear she faced daily in Kabuto's genjutsu.

The swollen knot of panic in his chest started to shrink under her placid calm and the reminder that mentally and emotionally, Hinata was every bit the kunoichi she ever was, perhaps even a little more now. Unless she recovered her sight one hundred percent, he would never permit her to return to missions again, but knowing she was no longer defenseless, that she could present even the most skilled shinobi a dangerously unexpected challenge eased his mind about leaving her alone for a few days.

_This mission is screwing with my head. There's no way Orochimaru can still be alive, not after what I did to him. But someone out there is using snake summoning jutsu and if they have knowledge of Orochimaru's techniques, what else could they have knowledge of?_

His arms tightened around her as he strode up the steps into the hospital. His blood broiled beneath the surface, the savage beast fed fat on revenge stirring from its sleep within his soul, hungrier and more feral than before. No one was taking Hinata from him. _Not now, not ever._

"This is becoming a bad habit."

Sasuke's narrow eyes snapped to the speaker and took a second to peel away the layers of chakra dancing vibrantly before him to recognize Sakura. Deactivating his Sharingan brought her concerned frown into focus.

"What happened?" she demanded.

Hinata lifted her head and glanced towards Sakura's voice. "He's just over-reacting," she said and squeaked when Sasuke abruptly jostled her in his arms.

"I'm not over-reacting," he snapped. "You could barely breathe a few minutes ago."

"Demo, I'm fine now," she protested.

Naruto leaned up against the wall and folded his arms, blatant amusement playing across his features. Silently he agreed with Sasuke, but seeing him get so flustered and frustrated with Hinata's continued insistence that she was fine was nothing short of entertaining.

Sasuke slipped his arm out from under her legs, letting her feet find the ground before flicking a finger against her forehead. She flinched sharply, features paling to a ghostly white.

"You're _not_ fine," he growled.

Hinata strangled a whimper, pressing two fingers to her temple to try to sooth the pain his none-too-gentle flick sent rippling through her head.

"So," Sakura hesitantly drew Sasuke's attention to her. "What happened exactly?"

"We were training," Naruto supplied helpfully. "And Hinata released an intense chakra pulse."

"I didn't mean to," she muttered meekly, sinking against Sasuke under the renewed onslaught of pain. His arm tightened marginally and his eyes softened with remorse for increasing her suffering.

_But she was being so stubborn!_

"Can we take this somewhere else," he demanded to distract himself from his conflicting emotions.

"My office," Sakura suggested, turning on her heal to lead them just two doors down where they had obviously been headed when she encountered them in the hall.

Sasuke swept Hinata up again, grateful that she refrained from protesting this time and feeling ridiculously guilty because she couldn't. He was supposed to sooth her pain, not cause it.

Setting her down on the small couch in Sakura's office, he stepped back beside Naruto while Sakura checked Hinata over.

"Tell me what happened, Hinata," Sakura sighed, dragging her stool over to the couch and giving Naruto a warning glare when he opened his mouth to repeat what he had already told her.

"I was training against Naruto-kun's kage bushin and," she pressed two fingers against her temples, "I felt a pressure building inside me."

"In your head?"

"No, here," she tapped a finger just below her breasts. "We'd been training for so long and it just kept getting stronger until it…broke."

Sakura frowned. "The stress of your training must have stimulated your dormant chakra."

"But why so much all at once?" Naruto asked.

"A violent release can be expected when one has had their abilities sealed or dormant for so long." Sakura turned back to Hinata. "What happened next?"

Hinata bit her lip. "There was a…burst of light. It hurt so much but I thought…I thought I saw…." She shrugged helplessly, not knowing how to explain.

Cool hands brushed against her temples and Hinata closed her eyes when Sakura's warm chakra penetrated the residual throbbing. "There doesn't appear to be any changes," Sakura murmured. "Do your eyes still hurt?"

"I have a slight headache but it is fading."

Pulling back, Sakura chewed on her thumb for a second, glanced up at Sasuke's worried scowl and then back at Hinata. "If you're game, I'd like to try something."

"Okay," Hinata agreed without hesitation. From the moment she returned to Konoha, Sakura had been nothing but determined to aid her recovery. Having worked side by side with the pink-haired medic long before her capture, Hinata knew there was no one else she would trust more in the medical field. Sakura's determination and intelligence exceeded even Tsunade's at times.

Sakura smiled at the resolve and trust on Hinata's pale face. "I want you to try to activate your Byakugan."

"No."

Three heads swiveled towards the Uchiha but only two could see his glowering expression.

"Sasuke—."

"No." He cut Sakura off sharply, eyes flickering red. "She just had a treatment yesterday and then this. It's too soon." He was _not_ going to watch her suffer like that again. Stubborn she might be, but the pain had taken her to the ground. Twice in less than twelve hours was enough and besides, there was no telling what could happen if she drew more chakra into the still healing pathways in her eyes.

"Sasuke," Sakura's voice gentled as if she were talking to a snarling, injured animal, "there's no other way for me to tell if what Hinata saw was real or a latent retinal imprint."

Obsidian eyes locked on his wife's frozen form. She hadn't made a move or so much as squeak from the moment he voiced his decision. He knew she wouldn't argue, at least not in front of others. Hinata was too meek and…intimidated by him to do that.

He hated seeing her in pain, hated even more to see her cry. Hinata's tears made him feel weak, like he had failed her somehow and Uchiha Sasuke was not a man given to failing at anything. With just the rest of this day and night to be with her before departing on a mission that could keep him away for days, the last thing he wanted was to leave her weary and in pain.

"It can wait," he told Sakura, voice cold and firm. "After the mission, before the next treatment."

Sakura gauged him silently for a moment before nodding. "Okay."

None of them missed how Hinata's shoulders sagged.

"I don't know how long this mission will take, Hinata," Sakura said, patting her knee. "In the mean time work on your chakra control with those simple exercises Tsunade-shishou taught us, okay?"

"Hai," she murmured, hands clasping in her lap.

Sakura met Naruto's worried stare and shrugged. _There's nothing else we can do._

Naruto sighed and tilted his head towards Sasuke. "I guess we'll meet you at the gate at six."

Sasuke grunted, eyes glued to Hinata's dejected form. Under the weight of his gaze, she slowly pushed herself up, swaying only for a second before catching her balance.

"Arigato, Sakura-san," she whispered, blank eyes cast down to the floor. Self-consciously gripping one arm with the other, she quietly made her way through them to the door and let herself out into the hallway.

"Sasuke—."

He shot Sakura a sharp look that stopped her short and Naruto shifted uneasily. Satisfied that neither would interfere, he turned his back on them and strode out of the room to find Hinata standing listlessly against the wall waiting for him. At the sound of his steps on the tiled floor, she pushed away from the wall and obediently fell in step with him like a beaten little puppy.

Sasuke kept his hands firmly stuffed in his pockets, not taking Hinata's hand even when they stepped out into the Village's busy streets. Two isolated islands of existence, the silent pair made their way home, neither drifting farther than a foot from the other. He kept a sharp eye on her mechanical steps, ready to steady her or pull her out of the way if she should stumble over an unseen obstacle, but her growing kinesthetic sense guided her around and over such things as if she'd been able to see them clearly.

Frustrated with her despairing mood and not knowing the reason behind it, Sasuke scowled at the world in general.

_Is she so upset because I didn't let Sakura check to see if she really had seen something? She's only had a few of the treatments and Sakura hasn't seen many changes since then. I'm sure it was just a memory imprint or whatever she called it. It's too soon to take any more risks, especially when both me and Sakura will be leaving tomorrow with the team. No one will be here to help her if there are any complications. _

Glancing at Hinata from the corner of his eye, he sighed dejectedly. _It was the right choice, no matter what she thinks. _Logically he knew that, but the squeezing pain in his chest at her continued silence wouldn't fade.

Sliding the door of the compound open, he stepped aside to let her shuffle past him. She stopped short in the foyer, standing listlessly and lost as to what to do next. When Sasuke closed the door, she slowly turned towards him, head bowed and hair veiling her blank eyes.

"Gomen nasi," she whispered. "I shouldn't have—." Her words cut off sharply when he grabbed her wrist and jerked her into his chest, strong arms wrapping her up tightly in his embrace so that she could barely breathe. Hinata could do nothing but hold on as his warmth surrounded her, one hand sinking into her short hair as he buried his face in the crook of her neck. His desperate embrace never loosened and gradually she relaxed into him, her small fingers clutching the back of his shirt.

His chakra danced wildly between emotions and to her increasing relief, anger was not one of them. He held her like he had no intention of ever letting go and with his chakra sizzling and snapping frantically around them, she had no desire for him to. Nuzzling her face against his shirt, she hesitantly smoothed one of her hands up and down his back in an effort to quell his volatile emotions.

So typically calm and controlled, Hinata never realized how much her husband kept hidden behind the detached façade he presented the world. Strong, silent men felt things far more deeply than most, she knew from her experience with Neji, but even still she'd never anticipated such a reaction from Uchiha Sasuke. Anger, rage, hate, yes, but never fear or insecurity.

_Did I do this?_ She wondered.

Gradually Sasuke's muscles started to relax beneath her hesitant touch and he pulled his face from the shelter of her neck to press his forehead against hers. "Stop apologizing."

Pink tinted her cheeks and though another apology balanced on the tip of her tongue, she managed to bite it down.

"When we return from our mission, Sakura can run whatever tests she wants," he said. "I'm not going to leave you without knowing what kind of repercussions there could be, understand?"

Hinata's cheeks darkened. "H-hai."

"Good. Now stop being mopey. I don't like it."

She squeaked unintelligibly, likely trying to squelch a reflexive apology and Sasuke smirked at her flustered reaction. If nothing else, it was easy to distract her from her depression.

While she stuttered and stumbled over her thoughts, he trailed his fingers down her back and fiddled with the hem of her shirt before venturing beneath it to find the warmth of her skin. Hinata went rigid in his arms, eyes wide and words falling silent. He flattened his hand on the small of her back and pressed her tightly against him, watching her cheeks flame bright with the intimate contact. He couldn't get enough of her anymore after her small concession the previous night. Stroking his thumb across the gentle dip of her spine, Sasuke debated whether he could get away with a kiss, a real kiss, now that he had her in his arms and so responsive.

Her breath was already catching like she'd gone for a short run and he leaned down to steal the rest of it away when the audible steps of an audience halted him just short of touching her lips. Hinata stopped breathing all together and Sasuke silently swore, closing his eyes to steel his strength to pull away and glare at the intruder.

Nanami valiantly hid her amusement behind perfected Hyuuga indifference and bowed politely to the glowering Uchiha.

"My apologies for interrupting, Sasuke-sama, Hinata-sama. Shall I prepare lunch for you?"

Sasuke's jaw tensed, eye ticking with thwarted aggravation. "Yes."

Nanami bowed again and turned away to leave the young couple still entangled in each other's arms. Scowling after her and mentally counting the many ways he could get back at the matronly woman for her unintentional interference, Sasuke jerked when Hinata suddenly slumped against him.

"Breathe, Hinata," he ordered the half-conscious girl, pressing her against him to keep her upright.

As if his command was all she had been waiting for, Hinata shuddered with a deep gasping breath and clung to him as he held her on her feet. He rubbed wide circles on her back to ease her breathing, never mind that his touch on her bare skin only sent shockwaves skittering across her nerves.

Hinata closed her eyes and pressed the side of her face against his shoulder, gasping like a landed fish until the dizziness started to recede.

"Baka," Sasuke murmured with amusement.

Hinata meeped and turned her face into his shirt, willing her fierce blush to subside.

He chuckled and languidly stroked his hand down the length of her spine before pulling it out from under her shirt and settling it comfortably on her hip. As much as he wanted to pick up where they left off before the untimely interruption, he knew Hinata had reached her emotional limit. His touch alone made her freeze like a doe caught in a thicket; he couldn't imagine how she would react to a kiss.

Once he might have cursed her irreversible shyness and innocence for the demands it made on his patience and self-control, but knowing he would be spending the rest of his life with this woman changed his perspective. Hinata was genuinely shy, not coy or brazen like his numerous fan girls. Her innocence seduced him more effectively than any artful flirtation. Anything she felt would be real, not a practiced, conditioned response to gain favor. When Hinata gave her body to him, she would be giving her heart as well. It was the only reason he didn't push her, but being a man in possession of such a beautiful and enticing wife, he could hardly be expected to keep his hands to himself.

Pressing a soft kiss to her temple, Sasuke stepped back and took her hand. "Come. We'll have lunch and then you can make some medicine for my mission."

Hinata's embarrassment quickly faded into worry at the reminder. "How long will you be gone," she asked, obediently following the tug of his hand down the hallway.

Knowing she couldn't see the slight changes in his expression, Sasuke reassured her with his touch, gently squeezing her fingers. How long had it been since someone worried about him?

"A few days."

"Ano, do you think when you get back Tsunade-sama will give you more A rank missions?"

Sasuke tilted his head to look at her. "I don't know. I'm not exactly considered trustworthy yet."

"Demo, you don't have a reason to leave this time…." she faded off, suddenly unsure if that were true or not.

Dark eyes softened at the hesitant doubt clouding her pixie face and Sasuke slipped his arm around her, tugging her against his side. "None at all."

Hinata's cheeks pinkened at the not so subtle reassurance and she leaned into him, their leisurely steps matching pace. Did he know how much she dreaded his absence? They had only been living together for two weeks now but she felt as if she couldn't bear to be without him. Surely he didn't have the same silly attachment she had developed to such simple things as the sound of his breathing and the minuscule fluctuations in his velvet voice.

The house felt different when he was there, warm and safe. Her sleep was peaceful and her dreams sweet. A day of monotony lost in darkness passed swiftly in anticipation of his return each night. How was she to survive a few days without him?

As if sensing her turmoil, Sasuke's hand squeezed her hip as he guided her to the kitchen table where Nanami was laying out their lunch.

"I'll need some rations prepared for my mission tomorrow, several days worth," he said once he seated Hinata.

"Anything in particular you would like?" Nanami asked.

"Nothing sweet," Sasuke grunted, digging into his oden.

Nanami smiled, leaving the young couple to enjoy their rare lunch together while she scoured the supplies for something suitable for the young master. Strange how the man disliked all forms of sweet confection and yet he craved the company of the sweetest creature she'd ever known. Much could be said for one having a finicky palate, but when all was said and done, Uchiha Sasuke knew a good morsel when he saw one.

* * *

**Also **thanks to _**Claudia, akane101, RandomGothicNinjaNerd, Chibi Shy Shadow Reader (one of many), MDZ, Jay_chAn, oluja, Tokei, Ingrid, Castiel, carolyn, MaliaNyla, Bast, misha48, 99Kimiko99, **_and _**Woah**_ for your reviews.

Sorry my update times have been a bit wonky lately, but still keep an eye open for me every two weeks.


	24. in Strength

**A/N- **Grammar fanatics, turn your eyes. It gets kind of ugly from here on in. I fear I was attacked by an army of commas and adverbs…at least that's what it appears to have been though my head is still kind of spinning. I tried to clean it up to the best of my currently limited abilities so please forgive any mistakes.

**Keru-arashi **made a picture for two chapters ago and I forgot to mention it in the last chapter so go check out the link in my profile.

**Disclaimer: **Of course Naruto and the Naruto-verse all belong to Kishimoto and what you are reading is the result of my rampant imagination stirred up by his talent.

Enjoy!

_**Ikigai**_

**in Strength**

**Chapter 24**

Hinata's eyes snapped open, mind clicking to full alertness though she could see nothing more in the darkness of awareness than she could in slumber. By the cool of the air, she knew it was still night though the crickets had left off chirping some time ago. Whatever had disturbed her slumber still lingered on the fringes of her senses, threatening and…evil.

Eyes slipping closed, she concentrated on locating and identifying the disturbance only to find it stood but a few feet from her and was growing in intensity and familiarity. Waves of malice and hatred washed over her senses, crackling against her skin like static electricity. What once had been comforting in its power now surged with malevolence thick enough to strangle.

Cautiously stretching her hand across the blankets, Hinata found the space beside her empty but warm.

"Sasuke?" she whispered.

"Go back to sleep," he growled, voice harsh and grating.

Pearlescent eyes flickered open and widened in shock.

_This…this can't be real!_ Lifting a trembling hand before her eyes, Hinata watched the pinprick glowing lights disappear and reappear as she moved it back and forth. If not for the sharp contrast of the all-encompassing darkness, she would never have even noticed the small patterning of lights. Drawing up on her knees, she inched forward and reached towards the glow, flinching when her hand brushed against heated skin.

Sasuke jumped and growled low in his chest, fists clenching on his knees in an effort to repress the surge of power spreading through him. The unexpected touch broke his concentration and in that split second, the cursed seal spread to encompass most of his body.

It'd been almost two years since he last used the curse seal Orochimaru inflicted on him. He hated depending on its power and hated even more how it stripped away all logic and control. It was only in the aftermath of a battle, when he bore still warm blood on his hands, did he realize why Orochimaru had given him the seal and encouraged him to use it so much. Steadily he would lose sense of himself until there would be no existing will left to oppose the Snake Sannin when he attempted to take his body. The will of an Uchiha was as strong as the Sharingan Orochimaru so longed for and was the reason why he failed to take Itachi's body as well.

The curse seal never stopped paining him in the presence of the Sannin, but pain was something he'd learned to deal with. When Orochimaru died, so did the pain of proximity and he assumed the mark would simply be just that; a mark.

But he had assumed too much. Even in dreams, the twisted Sannin haunted him and this time it was not _his_ body the creep was after. By the time he snapped out of the bloody battle into full awareness, the cursed markings were already spreading out from the throbbing seal, his chakra swelling up to bursting point.

It was only a nightmare, the sum of his fears grasping at phantoms of the past. Hinata was safely tucked in bed beside him, unharmed and wholly herself and yet his chakra continued to build towards breaking point, feeding off the lingering feelings of hate and rage until he knew no different from reality and fantasy.

Her dainty hands hesitantly smoothed over his tense shoulders, cold as ice compared to the burning of his skin. His breath quickened, both from the unexpected intrusion of her touch and the effort it took to keep the curse from advancing to level two.

The slight tightening of her right hand on his shoulder preceded five sharp, icy stabs on his left in rapid succession. He breathed in sharply at the needle like pain, but Hinata's arms swept around his waist, keeping him from pulling away. Pressing a hand over his heart and her cheek against the smooth expanse of his back, she held him as tremors racked his straining body.

Like a coil eased loose, his fists unclenched and his volatile chakra receded back to where it belonged as the curse markings faded into nothing. His panting was all that broke the strained silence and he slowly closed his hand over the one guarding his heart.

"What…did you do?"

"Something was ripping your chakra out," she murmured, lips brushing against his bare back and setting a shiver down his spine. "I sealed the tenketsu."

Sasuke's breath slowly eased and he stared down at the small fingers trapped beneath his own, so fragile and yet capable of stopping the pain with a single touch.

"The cursed seal of Heaven. I haven't used it in years. I don't know why it activated now." He grimaced at the lie. Hinata didn't need to know he'd just witnessed her torture and death in his dreams and she didn't need to know why.

They remained silent for several minutes, Sasuke relishing the feel of her pressed against him and she relieved that he hadn't asked how she knew where the tenketsu were. She couldn't have been certain the small pinpricks of light in her darkness were tenketsu until she felt the heat and powerful emergence of chakra pouring out from those exact points on his body. After striking them with her own chakra, she was once more plunged into darkness and doubt. Even before she lost her sight, her Byakugan had never been powerful enough to see tenketsu so did she really see them at all or was her overly-sensitive abilities creating images in her mind's eye to mirror what she felt?

"Daijoobu?" she asked when Sasuke said nothing more.

His fingers languidly stroked hers before tugging her hand away from him. Hinata sat back, feeling him shift on the bed to face her. Worried that he didn't answer her question, she opened her mouth to ask again and stopped when a calloused finger pressed against her lips.

Wide, silvery eyes blinked owlishly as he traced the tip of his finger along her bottom lip, mesmerized and lost. Unlike the Hinata in his dreams there were no tears in her eyes, no screams of terror on her lips, no blood telling of the pain she suffered in his failure to reach her in time. He once vowed to never again succumb to the seductive call of the cursed seal and in her worried eyes he found the will to resist. But should the time come when nightmares became reality, he knew nothing would keep him from ripping his very soul apart to save her.

Trailing his fingers up her cheek and into her hair, Sasuke pulled her forward and covered her lips with his own. She stiffened but didn't resist when he gently parted her lips, sweeping his tongue across the soft flesh. A tentative hand braced against his chest, fingers splaying over the heart beating rapidly in time with hers, and Hinata melted against him.

Sweeping an arm around her boneless body, he languidly teased her lips as he laid her back on the bed and covered her with his warmth. She whimpered uncertainly, fingers curling into fists against his chest yet incapable of pushing him away. The desperate longing in his tender kiss frightened her because it was so much like her own. Sasuke had certainly become more affectionate with her since the other night, but this…this went far beyond affection.

When she hesitantly parted her lips again, he took her mouth with barely restrained hunger and Hinata mewled like a milk-starved kitten. Her hands took on a mind of their own, flattening against his heated skin and smoothing over his shoulders onto his back. A deep rumbling purr vibrated through his chest sending tremors clear down to her toes and her heart jumped with the innate knowledge that she had pleased him.

Her barely coherent mind ricocheted trying to connect the dots of rampant emotion and logic. Tomorrow Sasuke was leaving on his first A rank mission since his return to Konoha and now, he was kissing her with a fervency that promised many things.

_He said he wanted to wait until he received A rank missions before having children…._ Hinata felt her face flame as hot as the rest of her body. _Does he mean to start now?_

Sasuke parted from her lips and she gasped for air, eyes clouded with chaotic emotion. She had always been beautiful in his eyes, a porcelain doll with a will of steel. The voluptuous curves of her petite body pressing against his solid form chipped away at his lingering control and when she sighed into his kiss and pulled him closer, he knew if he didn't stop now, there would be no turning back. He wanted her desperately, but he didn't want to pressure or seduce her, as tempting a thought that was. Long ago he promised himself she would come to him willingly or not at all and though she appeared very willing right now, he knew that could change quickly once she realized where this was heading.

As she regained her breath, her eyes cleared and her cheeks darkened with awareness of his body pressed against every inch of hers. Sasuke stifled a groan at the tempting picture she presented and leaned down to trail kisses down the length of her throat. Her breathing hitched when he brushed over her collarbone and down along the revealing neckline of her silk camisole. Pausing at the point where the fabric dipped, he placed one last lingering kiss and pillowed his head on her soft chest.

Her heart thundered loudly beneath his ear, breasts still heaving with shortness of breath, and he gradually relaxed against her, finding comfort in the soft curves of her body and her fragrant herbal scent. As her breathing and confusion began to ease, her small hands slipped across his shoulders and into his hair. Encouraged by the embrace, Sasuke snuggled into her bosom and sighed.

Hinata stiffened when he nestled against her like a sleepy baby, a startled squeak dying in her throat when he once again stilled and sighed with as much contentment as she'd ever heard come from a man. It was such a strange thing. One moment he was kissing her with untamed passion and the next he was snuggling up in her arms like a kitten. Well, maybe not a kitten; more like a lethargic, man-eating panther.

Instinctively she hugged him to her, never mind that he was using her breasts as a pillow and the thin silk top she wore offered little protection from his warm, even breaths. Sasuke was deeply conflicted and she could feel him straining for control. It went far deeper than a few desperate kisses shared in the middle of the night when but a moment before he had lost hold of the dangerous seal branded on his shoulder.

Her fingers combed through his thick hair while she mulled over his intentional lie.

"_The cursed seal of Heaven. I haven't used it in years. I don't know why it activated now."_

She couldn't be sure which part was the lie, but she knew he was keeping something from her. He didn't realize that she had come to know his chakra the way most people knew their own faces. Anyone else would've been easily fooled but she could sense the slightest fluctuation in chakra, the tiniest spike of power that not even Neji would've been able to feel when Sasuke spoke untruth.

_Maybe it has something to do with the mission._ He'd been acting a bit strange since receiving the A rank mission and he wasn't the only one. Naruto's nervous laughter had been telling in itself. A reconnaissance mission of such a high rank could only mean they were going deep into enemy territory, but why Sasuke? The village didn't even trust him to perform D rank missions without supervision.

Hinata sighed, pressing a kiss to the crown of his head. Sasuke murmured unintelligibly and his arms cinched tighter around her, relinquishing himself to slumber in the comfort of her embrace. For once he fell asleep first and she remained awake to count his breaths.

* * *

Seldom did the Uchiha Avenger ever have trouble waking up. If anything, he rarely slept. Waiting impatiently for sunrise was the norm for the nightmare driven man, but this morning he could feel the warmth of the sun creeping up on him and Sasuke wanted nothing more than to bury his face in the softness beneath him and ignore the world. Of course when he tried to do that, a startled squeak erupted from his pillow.

Sleep-doused obsidian eyes fluttered open. _Sunlight streaming through the window, check. Rumpled blankets, check. Pretty wife…. _Sasuke looked up to see Hinata wide-eyed and flushed a lovely shade of pink. _Check._

"Ano, S-Sasuke…."

Smirking smugly, Sasuke laid his head back down and nestled into her curves, suppressing a chuckle when she squeaked again. His dear wife was so terribly innocent and he was relieved he didn't press his advantage last night. Hinata was someone to be treasured, her innocence protected and savored. Never would he tire of her flustered reactions to his touch.

Too comfortable to move, he barely felt her tugging on his hair.

"S-Sasuke…."

"Hmm."

Her blush deepened at his purr of contentment. "Ano, y-you need to g-get up."

"Hn."

Flustered nervousness faded into frustration and Hinata tugged more firmly on her sleepy husband's raven locks, giggling when he grunted with annoyance.

"Your mission, Sasuke," she said.

Scowling at the reminder, he sighed and slowly disentangled himself from her supple body. Moving to sit beside her, he grasped her wrist and tugged her up, his arm slipping around her waist to hold her close.

"Morning," he murmured.

Hinata trembled at the heated promise lingering in his husky voice. "Morning," she whispered. Her hands hesitantly braced against his muscled chest for balance and Sasuke shivered at her feathered touch.

_If I didn't have a mission this morning…. _He quickly put the thought aside, knowing it would only leave him empty and wanting. Dawn was peeking through the window and time was running thin. Soon he wouldn't be able to spare Hinata a thought for the sake of the mission and it could be days before he returned.

Eyes dropping to her petal pink lips, his mind flat-lined, all thought abandoning him save one. Perhaps it'd been the stress of the moment, her intrinsic worry for his well-being, but his little kunoichi had been most willing and responsive last night. In the full light of day, with the memory of last night still fresh in her mind, would she still melt for him?

"Sasuke?"

Obsidian eyes blinked when their tempting target moved and breathed his name in a tantalizing whisper. He grunted absently, mind starting to churn again at a sluggish pace.

"Ano, I know I shouldn't ask, demo…."

Her lips drew together in an adorable little pout and he bit down a groan, forcing himself to focus on her words.

"Ano…this mission…."

His attention snapped up to her unfocused eyes, noticing for the first time the anxious crease in her brow. "That's confidential, Hinata." _She should already know that._

"I know," she murmured. "It's just…I-I—," she dove forward and hugged him tightly. "Please be careful!"

Sasuke froze, the feel of her small body plastered to his own short-circuiting his brain to limb signals. By the time everything whirred back into motion, his arms had wrapped securely around her and the sentiment of her words finally caught up.

"Hinata."

"I know you'll be with Naruto-kun and-and I know you're strong enough and-and I know you can't talk about the mission and-and—."

Grabbing a handful of her hair, Sasuke tugged her head back, cutting her frantic ramble short.

"Then stop worrying," he said, scowling at her pale features. He should've known she would pick up on his own unease.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, eyes glittering with tears.

Sasuke cursed himself and her incessant need to apologize when she never did anything wrong. He could've handled it better, but he hadn't anticipated his own fears triggering the curse seal. She never would've known anything was troubling him about the mission and he could hardly tell her why it was. Now he had a scared wife and less than ten minutes to get to the gate. There was only one option left to him.

His lips caught hers in mid-breath, firm and unyielding. Whatever reassurance he meant to offer was returned to him a hundredfold when she leaned into his kiss. There was nothing superficial about her fear. Somehow she knew this mission could devastate the fragile balance of their life together. Forged on lies and cold calculation, was there really any hope for them to survive a true test of strength and loyalty? At least he knew what lay stacked against them, but Hinata….

Parting from her lips with a ragged gasp, Sasuke gently cupped her cheek and leaned his forehead against hers. "Trust me."

Unable to force words through panting breaths, Hinata closed her eyes and curled into his warm embrace, absorbing as much of his masculine scent as possible. For once, he asked of her the one thing she could truly give.

Neither was willing to let go of the other, but Sasuke finally nuzzled her hair and sighed. "I have to go."

She slowly sat back and raised her face with a fledgling smile. "I will find Nanami-san. She has your rations."

Sasuke watched her move away from him, straining not to pull her back and kiss that fragile mask to pieces. When her petite figure disappeared out the door, he stood and moved across the room with lethal grace to dress. Whoever was impersonating Orochimaru was going to die a slow, painful death and for once he would take great pleasure in the act.

Digging to the back of the closet, he pulled out his chokuto and sheathed it at his back. It'd been unnecessary to carry the sword on D rank missions and he hadn't expected to be pulling it out any time soon, but he was going to need every advantage if even a hint of Naruto's suspicions were true.

Scooping up his prepared pack, Sasuke tossed one last glance at the mussed sheets on the bed before stalking out. Hinata's flushed face would forever be imprinted on his mind and once he was through dealing with this latest complication, he had every intention of a repeat performance…hopefully with a finale this time.

A smirk tweaked the corner of his lips, but he quickly suppressed it when he reached the bottom of the stares and found himself on the receiving end of amused Byakugan eyes.

"Your rations, Sasuke-sama." Nanami held out a cloth wrapped package to the scowling man.

He grunted and stuffed it into his pack. _Maybe having a maid with all-seeing eyes isn't such a good idea after all._

"Have a safe journey, Sasuke-sama." The matronly woman bowed and returned to the kitchen, leaving him alone with an unusually solemn Hinata.

"Keep up your training," he said gruffly. "I expect to see some improvement when I return."

"Oh, hai," Hinata chirped and Sasuke grimaced at her forced cheer. Just once he wanted to see her throw a temper tantrum, to refuse to accept everything with a calm face and resignation. But for now, he supposed he was grateful she was so serenely brave. It made it just a little bit easier to walk away from her.

She silently followed him to the foyer and he pushed the door open, pausing in the threshold to frown at the bright morning sky. He was already late, but not nearly as late as Kakashi would no doubt be. One would think the importance of the mission would inspire him to move with a single-minded determination, but he was torn between needing to go and wanting to stay.

Turning on his heal, he stared down at Hinata's patiently expectant face. Never had he expected something so fragile to hold so much power over him, but he wasn't foolish enough to deny it anymore. Beneath the calm mask her Clan was known for, he could see anxiety still lingering in her telling eyes. Even as he watched and the seconds ticked by, the anxiety morphed into something deeper and more familiar. He'd seen this look in her jeweled eyes once before and his heart softened with understanding. This fear was a little bit more selfish and he couldn't have loved her more for it.

Cupping her face as he did back then, Sasuke brushed his thumb across her trembling lips. That day he left her in the forest to be found by Konoha Anbu, how desperately he'd wanted to kiss her, to taste the hope her mere existence offered and all that time, he wasn't the only one who needed hope.

His fingers trailed down to her chin, nudging her face up. For half a breath her sightless eyes met his, but he didn't stop to wonder if it was by chance or design. Leaning down, he pressed a slow, lingering kiss to her lips.

"Wait for me," he whispered and then he was gone. Had he looked back, he would've seen her reaching for him as she had done months before, this time with longing instead of fear.

* * *

The silver-haired copy-nin strolled down the waking streets of Konoha seemingly unconcerned with anything existing outside of the little orange book hovering inches from his face. In truth, his lone eye saw nothing of the printed page before him, his ever-active mind too busy with the implications of the latest rumors bouncing between informants.

Loose ends were the bane of a shinobi's existence, coming back to destroy whatever peace a man could manage to forge in his weary years. He'd always been careful enough to clean up after himself in the past and beyond a doubt his former student was no less efficient, covering his tracks with the lethal precision expected of one of the most powerful shinobi blood lines in the world. But knowing this did nothing to ease Kakashi's mind when rumors started flooding in about a snake summoning ninja targeting medical transports.

Orochimaru was dead. Kakashi had no doubt about that. One look in Sasuke's haunted eyes was all the proof he needed. But rumors often had a foundation in truth, no matter how minute it might be, and even if this one had not an ounce of substantiation, too much was at risk to simply ignore the possibilities.

Hatake Kakashi was not a passionate man by anyone's standards, but there were certain things he was more inclined to fight for, more willing to die for. Only once in his long established career did he ever have the privilege, or affliction depending on how one chose to look at it, of mentoring a genin team. Through the course of missions and training, victories and failures, tears and betrayals, he'd become terribly fond of the frighteningly powerful rascals.

Sasuke's defection really left its mark, but Naruto and Sakura never gave up on him even after he tried to, admittedly half-heartedly, kill them. No matter how hard the Uchiha Avenger tried to ignore the bonds forged in his youth, they never faded, never died. Perhaps that was all he ever needed: someone to believe in him, someone to wait for him.

Kakashi didn't lie when he told Sasuke he no longer had anyone important to him. At the time he didn't. He couldn't say that anymore.

Huffing softly, he stuffed his book into his hip pouch, his lone eye catching sight of the object of his ruminations. Apparently the boy had adopted some of his less desirable traits since they both were quite a few minutes late for their rendezvous at the main gate.

They fell in step with each other when their paths converged, neither offering a greeting to the other. It'd only been three weeks since Sasuke returned to Konoha, creating an uproar and turning the whole village up on its ear. How he would've loved to have seen the look on stiff-backed Hyuuga's face when Sasuke laid down his marriage claim on his eldest daughter.

Glancing at his former student, Kakashi noted the changes time engraved into the handsome young face that still made hearts stop. Strange how the long sought after Konoha heartthrob ended up with the one woman who couldn't enjoy his aesthetically pleasing features.

"So…how's the little wife?"

Sasuke shot him a cold glare.

"Ah," he sighed dramatically. "Wedded bliss."

"If you've got something to say, say it," Sasuke growled.

Kakashi offered him a crescent eye smile. "Why Sasuke-kun, I'm honored that you would seek my advice."

The Uchiha snorted. "What would _you_ know about marriage?"

"Partnership, teamwork…sort of rings a bell, doesn't it?"

"It's a little more complicated than that," Sasuke muttered.

A dark eye swiveled to search his scowling face quizzically. The ups and downs of the latest Konoha couple were common topics among the rumor mill, foremost being the avid speculation that the traitorous Uchiha Avenger abused his delicate wife. Their frequent trips to the hospital did nothing to quell such rumors and Sasuke's blighted past didn't win him any friends among the general populace. Add to that Hinata's sweet, endearing disposition and Sasuke didn't stand a chance of redeeming himself in the eyes of the ignorant.

Of course, just about every ninja in the village knew different. No self-respecting shinobi of Sasuke's rank and skill would put up with pulling a year's worth of the hardest, messiest, lowest paying D-rank missions for _any_ woman if he wasn't head over heels, no holds bar, miles beyond the point of no return in love.

Kakashi smirked behind his mask and turned his face to the looming gate. "Hinata-chan is one of the best medics Konoha has ever seen."

Sasuke shot him a glance out of the corner of his eye. "Your advice is to state the obvious?"

Kakashi's eye drooped. "No respect," he muttered under his breath before meeting Sasuke's guarded gaze. "Subtleties used to be _your_ area of expertise, not Naruto's."

Sasuke scowled and Kakashi shook his head with a sigh. "Stop worrying. Hinata can take care of herself."

Dark brows drew together at his former sensei's uncharacteristic bluntness. As much as it annoyed him to admit it, Kakashi was right. While Hinata was no match against a jonin rank shinobi, especially if they used ninjutsu, she could definitely hold her own long enough for him to reach her. Her handicap was obvious, her budding abilities were not. Anyone who came after her in his absence was bound to be in for an unpleasant surprise if last night was anything to go by. Hinata's agile fingers had been able to find and seal off the tenketsu of his cursed seal with incredible ease and efficiency. Her chakra had awakened and blind or not, in close quarters that made her one deadly little kunoichi.

He decided to ignore the fact that his former sensei was trying to reassure him and even more that his worry was obvious enough to motivate the lazy copy-nin to offer reassurance in the first place. Was he really that transparent when it came to Hinata?

Judging from Naruto and Sakura's expressions, he most definitely was.

Wisely, or considerately, neither of his former teammates brought attention to the slip in his usually flawless mask of emotion. Their eyes betrayed sympathetic concern, their smiles, or in Naruto's case an ear to ear grin, betrayed anticipation.

"Didn't think we'd get to see some real action so soon." Naruto's grin was positively feral and Sasuke felt a once forgotten thrill surge through his blood. In a strange nostalgic way, he'd missed fighting shoulder to shoulder with Naruto. When it came down to it, there was no one he trusted more to watch his back, especially now that so much was at stake.

"Alright gang," Kakashi planted his feet in front of the trio. "Our mission orders are simple, seek and eliminate. The Hokage has given us an unlimited time frame to work with considering we have yet to identify the target, but we will be checking in every two days by courier. Any questions?"

"Where do we start?" Sakura asked.

Kakashi's lone eye locked on Sasuke. "At the beginning."

Glancing up at the brightening sky, Sasuke took a deep, steady breath of the crisp morning air. "Let's go."

* * *

**Also **thanks to _**Jay_chAn, Fenses, MDZ, Zetnnik, 99Kimiko99, Dee, malian Inaz, mArda, HinataUchiha101, Blah…, oluja, **_and _**misha48 **_for your lovely reviews.

Did you know you can be allergic to stress? Well, technically it's the hormones and chemicals produced by stress that you can be allergic to. So here's me sitting by the fire with some hot chocolate and a thermal blanket because it is ridiculously cold right now. Global warming my eye. More like spot warming if you ask me.

See, I'm relaxed. Really!


	25. in Certainty

**A/N-** I'm really sorry for making you all wait for so long and for not being able to reply to everyone's reviews like I usually do. My time has really been slimmed down so it's become a choice between replying to every review or replying only to ones who had questions and thus being able to update. So I chose the update because I know you guys are squirming in your seats and hey, that's why you're here anyway. I still read all of your wonderful reviews and enjoy them and be assured that if you ask questions (in signed reviews), they will be answered.

Also, a few people have mentioned different songs they thought I might have been listening to when writing some of my stories. My writing is very rarely ever influenced by music but I'll admit when I got seriously stuck at Sasuke's battle with Itachi and the aftermath, No Way Out by Phil Collins helped me through that because I think it personifies Sasuke perfectly. Everything afterwards was fueled by It Will Be Me by Melissa Etheridge, especially these last few chapters. Check them out on youtube if you like. It Will Be Me is really beautiful. I nearly made its verses into chapter headings.

**Disclaimer:** _Naruto _of course belongs to Kishimoto and I make no profit off this story that somehow made its way from my head onto paper and thus, here.

Enjoy!

_**Ikigai**_

**in Certainty**

**Chapter 25**

"Hinata-sama."

The raven-haired girl's death grip on the pillow muffled her muttered complaint.

Nanami smiled and pushed the curtains aside, sunlight filling the darkened room. "Hinata-sama, I do not think Sasuke-sama would approve of you squandering your entire day in bed."

A resigned sigh echoed across the room and Nanami turned to look fondly on her charge. Three days since the young master left on a mission and each day saw Hinata lingering longer and longer in bed, hugging his pillow.

The nightmares returned forcefully in Sasuke's absence. As much as three times in one night, Hinata would wake crying or screaming. Sometimes it took hours to soothe the girl back to sleep, so she was reluctant to wake her too early in the mornings. But neither could she allow her charge to wallow in the depression that was steadily creeping up on her.

Still, it was infinitely sweet seeing how much Hinata missed her stoic husband. When her marriage to the Uchiha Avenger came to light, the Hyuuga Council had been furious and Nanami had been afraid. Surely the cold, calculating traitor could never offer the love and kindness Hinata needed to flourish.

But it would seem in the span of a few short weeks that he could offer her a good deal more. In the keep of the single most frightening shinobi Nanami had ever met, Hinata blossomed like a sakura tree in spring. Sasuke was everything the rumors said he was; cold, ruthless, lethal; but with Hinata he was everything no one expected him to be. Where the Hyuuga Clan sought to conform her to its ideal of the docile, noble wife, Sasuke encouraged her to spread her wings and pursue the impossible. His quiet, steady strength bolstered her confidence to step out of the confines of everyone's expectations. It was no wonder she loved him so.

With the warmth of the sun beckoning, Hinata sat up and ran a hand through her tousled hair, scratching idly at the back of her head. The large shirt she wore slipped off one slender shoulder, the hem bunching around her hips. The delicate silk pajamas she'd been forced to purchase by Ino and Sakura hadn't seen the light of day or night since Sasuke left.

She turned away to drop her legs over the side of the bed, exposing the large red and white fan embroidered onto the back of her chosen nightshirt and Nanami wondered if she even knew the clan emblem was there. Probably not, but the overly large shirt smelled like Sasuke and that was all that mattered.

"What time is it," Hinata asked.

"Not quite ten."

She grimaced. Half the morning was gone and all she wanted to do was crawl back in bed and cuddle with Sasuke's pillow. Already his scent was beginning to dwindle and it'd only been three days since he left.

"I will check on breakfast while you get dressed, Hinata-sama."

Nodding absently, she waited until Nanami's footsteps faded before slipping out of bed. Her legs mechanically moved her to the closet and she plucked out a pair of pants, a tank top, and a button shirt from each respective pile.

At first she stayed busy training with whoever was available to indulge her, but as of yesterday the Hokage's office had been inundated with a flood of missions. With all of her friends out of the village, she was left behind; a casualty abandoned. Too nervous to train without someone to watch over and guide her, she was left with little else to do but weed her garden and attempt to mix more complex medicines. Her results hadn't been very promising.

Emotionally depleted, she brushed through her short hair with her fingers, idly fiddling with the soft tuft at the back of her neck. She knew she would miss Sasuke's presence, his warmth and silent strength, but she never thought she would miss his touch so much.

No matter how many blankets she wore at night, she was always cold. The bed was hard and uncomfortable. The shower was lukewarm and a poor substitute for his gentle caress and if she wore the silken garments to bed, she felt lonely instead of beautiful.

_Chin up now, girl. This won't be the last time he goes away on a mission. He's more than capable of taking care of himself…._

Shaking her head at the dangerous path her thoughts were taking, Hinata lifted her head and forced a smile on her face. Sasuke told her to wait for him and that is what she would do. Besides, it wouldn't do to fall into a depression every time he was away for an extended period of time. Someday he would be pulling serious A and S rank missions which could take him away for weeks, even months at a time. Of course by then, maybe she would have a little one to occupy her time and attention….

Hinata pressed her hands to her burning cheeks knowing her face must be the brightest shade of red and grateful no one was there to see it. When she acknowledged his claim in front of the Hokage and her father, she knew that he expected her to give him children one day. She just never thought she would _want_ to; and she did, very much.

She'd always dreamed of having a family of her own with a small herd of sunny-haired children running about the house. Life never turns out the way one imagines it as a child and she had shed many tears over the dissolution of her precious fantasies long before Sasuke handed them back to her. Only now she dreamed of ebon-eyed children with a propensity to set things on fire and a taste for tomatoes instead of ramen.

"Hinata-sama?"

With a startled squeak, Hinata hurried down the steps into the kitchen, cheeks still flaming red.

Nanami smiled knowingly at her charge's abnormally rosy complexion. "Pleasant thoughts, Hinata-sama?"

Hinata pressed a curled finger to her lips, blush spreading to encompass her entire face. "Ano…."

The older Hyuuga chuckled, patting her head gently. "Eat, Hinata-sama. He will be home soon enough."

"I know," she sighed, sitting at the table and picking up her tea. "I just…."

"Miss him?"

Her unfading blush was answer enough but Hinata nodded anyway. "Is…is that wrong?"

"Wrong?" Nanami echoed in surprise. "Why would it be wrong?"

Hinata frowned. "Some people think I should hate him for deceiving me into marrying him, but he's been kind to me and…and I know it's only been two weeks, demo….

"You love him," Nanami filled in when she hesitated.

Hinata's lips pressed together and she nodded haltingly.

Nanami gently tapped her under her chin, raising her face up towards her own. "In whatever manner it comes to be, Hinata-sama, love is never wrong, especially between one who has so much of it to give and one so desperately in need of it."

A happy smile curved Hinata's lips and Nanami patted her cheek before turning away to attend the dishes. She'd vowed not to interfere in the young couple's life upon taking up residence in the Uchiha compound, but she could hardly ignore Hinata's insecurity. Sasuke wouldn't be pleased if she left the girl to worry needlessly in his absence. If nothing else, the man was devoted to Hinata's wellbeing.

_Be safe and come back soon, wherever you are, Sasuke-sama._

* * *

Precious few places held pleasant memories for Uchiha Sasuke. This was not one of them. When he turned his back on the burning pile of stone and mortar with a wisp of a girl in his arms, he had no intention of ever coming back. Even more did he loathe the reason he was here now.

"Something's different," Naruto murmured from his perch on the branch beside Sasuke.

"You've been here before?"

Naruto shot him a feral grin. "Did you honestly think I wouldn't come looking for you after we figured out who brought Hinata back?"

Sakura eyed the two from her perch beside Kakashi. "So this is where Tsunade-sama sent you?"

Naruto shrugged and turned back to eyeing the rubble below with a frown. "You see it too, don't you Kaka-sensei?"

"Hn. Some of the rocks have been moved."

The crease between Sasuke's eyes deepened and he jumped off the branch to land precariously on the shifting rubble. He hadn't taken any time back then to admire his work, but the destruction caused by his explosive tags had been more than effective in obliterating the underground fortress. Why anyone would bother to dig through the mess was beyond him for they certainly wouldn't have found anything useful. He'd concentrated the explosives along the foundation pillars and in key research labs to make certain nothing was salvageable, especially with regards to Hinata.

It eased the knot in his chest to see that the general area of Kabuto's lab remained undisturbed, but knowing someone had been determined enough to dig through eight feet of compact rubble to breach the underground tunnels was beyond disturbing.

"Hey, over here, guys," Sakura waved at them from further down the pile. When her three teammates reached her, she pointed at her find. "Look."

Kakashi crouched beside the narrow hole to peer into the impenetrable darkness below. Selecting a small stone, he dropped it into the pit and listened to it thud against the unseen ground.

"Not too deep, ten feet maybe, but the ground sounds uneven," the copy-nin mused.

"It's going to be seriously unstable down there," Sakura warned when Kakashi stood to his full, slouching height.

"True. Maybe you should stay up here, just in case—."

"Don't even think about saying it, Kaka-sensei," she growled, green eyes flashing.

Kakashi scratched his head and chuckled nervously. "Now, now, Sakura-chan, no need to be defensive."

She snorted. "I'm not going to do anyone any good up here twiddling my thumbs if one of you gets crushed. I'm going, got it?"

Kakashi glanced at the two blank-faced and thoroughly unhelpful men beside him and sighed with resignation. It wasn't that he was worried about Sakura, at least not overly much, and he had quite a number of solid reasons for her to remain behind, her insane strength being one of them. If there was to be a cave-in she was the only one capable of digging their sorry butts out of the rubble. Of course, asking Sakura to take the admittedly safer route was always a life-threatening mission in and of itself. He should have kept his mouth shut.

"Fine," he sighed. "Who's fir—." He blinked as Sasuke promptly jumped into the hole followed immediately by Naruto and Sakura. Left to stand alone on top of the rubble, Kakashi's eye drooped. "They were so much cuter when they actually listened to me."

A warm glow flared up from the abyss and he hopped down to join his team in the narrow tunnel now lit with makeshift torches. The confines were uncomfortably narrow, strewn with debris and still decaying remains. Sasuke unflinchingly took the lead through the cramped passage, never once blinking at the evidence of his destruction.

Wrinkling her nose at the rank decay, Sakura fell in step behind him. "What exactly are we looking for?" she asked quietly so as not to disturb the precarious layers of rock forming the ceiling of the tunnel.

"A corpse," Sasuke said.

The rosette kunoichi carefully stepped over a skeletal arm poking out from under a rock. "Can you be more specific?"

Sasuke grunted and Sakura rolled her eyes. _And he wonders why he and Hinata have so much miscommunication._

She didn't ask him to clarify, knowing he would fill in the details only when he was good and ready. Naruto also remained uncannily quiet as the four crawled through cramp spaces and over the occasional cadaver, blindly following their former teammate into the increasingly unstable mass of ruins. Just when Sakura was certain her muscles would freeze in a crouched crawl, Sasuke scrambled through a narrow hole and promptly stood up.

"Where are we," she asked as soon as she joined him, distractedly brushing dirt from her clothes and healing the cuts and scrapes on her bare legs with a near thoughtless touch. Stretching her arms over her head, she popped her back and eyed the cavern, the darkness ebbed only faintly by the glow of Sasuke's torch.

"I can't believe this place is still standing," Naruto's voice bounce off the walls.

"I'm guessing this was the main hall," Kakashi mused, eyeing the remaining pillars that kept the roof from falling in on them. It wasn't very reassuring considering there were only three and each one was missing serious chunks of mortar and stone.

"This is where we fought," Sasuke said, his blank expression telling nothing of the churning sea of unease he felt inside. Even when Orochimaru swallowed him, he felt no fear. Only cold purpose drove him forward and kept him alive. His abilities by far exceeded the snake sannin's and truly what fool honestly believed any form of genjutsu could supersede the Sharingan? Absolute confidence in his abilities and his destiny ensured victory. There was simply no room or reason for fear.

So why did he feel like his stomach was sinking into his feet?

"So we should find Orochimaru's body in here, right?" Naruto took several steps into the darkness, unhindered by the lack of light.

"And if we don't?" Sakura asked.

Her question was left unanswered as the three men immediately spread out into the cavern, intent on avoiding thinking about that possibility until it was absolutely necessary. Sighing softly, Sakura turned off into the opposite direction. She lifted the first of many rocks when Sasuke's voice drifted softly across the expanse.

"Look for a snake, not a man."

Three pairs of eyes turned on him sharply but he was too busy digging through rock to notice or care.

Naruto shook his head. "That's one story you can't keep to yourself, Sasuke."

Kakashi grunted his agreement. Sasuke hadn't exactly been forthcoming with details about his battle with Orochimaru and no doubt it had been a spectacular display of skill and ingenuity.

"Orochimaru's jutsus finally caught up with him," he mused.

"More or less," Sasuke agreed, kicking over a charred block.

"Seriously, Sasuke, a snake?" Naruto grunted with the effort of moving debris so he could peer underneath.

"Seems kind of logical," Sakura said, "in a weird and twisted sort of way."

Naruto and Sasuke grunted in union and a nostalgic smile flickered across Sakura's face. Different as day and night, the two were perpetually the same in the end.

Within the tomb of debris, time passed measured only by frustrated grunts and the clacking of shifting stone. One could only guess at the hours gone before Naruto finally sunk down onto a boulder, wiping sweat from his brow.

"How long have we been down here?" he panted.

"Too long." Sasuke kicked a rock. "We should have found something by now."

"He couldn't have just disappeared," Sakura huffed. "These tunnels would have preserved his remains and substantially slowed the decay. If this is where you left him we should find a full skeleton and some soft tissue remains."

"As appealing as that sounds," Kakashi's languid voice drifted over to them, "I believe we may have to settle for something considerably less obvious."

Sakura squinted at their former sensei's shadowed form crouching on the far side of the cavern, cursing the unnatural eyesight the male members of her team were blessed with. The three hurried to join him and Sasuke lifted his torch higher to illuminate the area holding the copy-nin's attention.

"What is that?"

Kakashi dusted a few small rocks aside. "Looks like a chakra grid, but none I've ever seen before."

"It's pretty faded," Naruto murmured, kneeling beside him. "Oi, Sasuke, was this here before? You know, before you demolished the fortress."

"No."

Sakura rummaged in her pack and pulled out a piece of chalk. "Give me some light," she said, putting the chalk stick to the ground. "I'll flesh it out so we can see what we're working with."

Sasuke surrendered his torch to Naruto and slumped down beside Kakashi who for once left his book in his pouch since it was simply too dark to read anyway.

"You seem to be taking this well," Kakashi murmured.

"Hn."

A lone black eye glanced at the scowling Uchiha. Only the faintest tick in his jaw muscle betrayed the agitation hidden beneath the façade of cold indifference. All in all, he _was_ taking it well. Of course, he expected nothing less from Sasuke.

In companionable silence they watched Sakura redraw the grid, Naruto hovering above with the torch to aid her sight. As the true size of the circle became evident, a cold sense of dread settled over them all.

Finally Sakura sat back on her heels, drawing her arm across her forehead to smear dirt and sweat.

"It's big," Naruto observed.

"Look familiar to any of you?" Kakashi asked, standing so he could get a better look at the sprawling grid.

"Let me see that, Naruto." Sakura held her hand out and the blonde obligingly handed her the torch.

She walked the circumference of the grid, eyeing the crisscrossing patterns and markings meeting in the center and a chill unlike any other seep into her bones. "Oh, this is bad," she whispered.

"What is it," Sasuke demanded sharply, fists clenching at his side. _This is not the time for dramatics!_ He flinched when a hand clamped down on his shoulder and glared at the one-eyed offender. The silent message conveyed with a touch and stare penetrated the frantic anxiety building within the former avenger and he deflated slightly.

"Sakura," Kakashi's smooth voice nudged the medic-nin out of her musings and her pink head snapped up, verdant eyes wide.

She swallowed and glanced back down at the grid. "I saw Tsunade use this once on an extreme case. It's a forbidden jutsu used to bind foreign cells to a living host. It requires massive quantities of chakra, causes excruciating pain and in many cases, kills both the host and the user." She met their inquisitive stares evenly. "It's a medical jutsu."

Sasuke cursed and Naruto turned on him with a dark glare.

"How could you let that two-faced psycho get away?" the blonde demanded.

"He wasn't even here at the time, baka," Sasuke snapped. "It shouldn't have mattered!"

"Well it sure matters now, doesn't it!"

Kakashi looked up at the ceiling and rubbed his chin, artfully tuning out the arguing duo. "Does he know Hinata's still alive?"

Fists froze half way to full contact and sapphire and crimson glares turned on the copy-nin. "What?"

"Well, you said he wasn't even here when you destroyed the fortress." He pointedly met Sasuke's Sharingan eyes. "Did he have any reason to think you took her with you?"

Sasuke's hold on Naruto's jacket loosened and his gaze turned thoughtful. "He knew I visited her sometimes, but I never interfered with his experiment so he didn't interfere with my visits," he murmured.

Sapphire eyes darkened with disgust and Naruto shoved Sasuke away from him. No matter how great it was to have his pseudo-brother back, he would never be able to accept or like the person he once had been. Oh, he could forgive him, but he still owed him several years of payback for his stupidity.

"Judging from her condition when you returned her to us, she must've been barely alive when you took her," Sakura said. "It wouldn't have been logical for…someone like you to burden himself with an invalid." She smiled sheepishly at his annoyed glare and shrugged. Maybe he didn't like hearing it, but it was true.

"Yeah," Naruto mused, tapping a finger against his chin. "Come to think of it, why did you take her with you? You're not exactly humanitarian of the year, you know."

Kakashi watched Sasuke's fists clench and unclench, the only outwardly visible sign of his seething temper and silently applauded his control. It'd always been easy for Naruto to push his buttons and the last Uchiha was seriously sensitive when it came to the issue of Hinata.

"I don't have to explain myself to you, dobe," Sasuke hissed.

Naruto moved towards him with a feral grin and cracking knuckles. "Wanna bet?" His advance halted with a startled yelp, echoed immediately by Sasuke's own startled cry of pain.

"This is not the time for a pissing contest!" Sakura snapped at the two men squirming to free their ears from her steely grip. "Yes, you are an overprotective ninny," she glared at her fiancé then turned sharply to Sasuke. "And you were, and sometimes still are, a jerk. Accept it and move on!" With that she released their imprisoned ears and both men jumped back to rub the pain away with perfectly matching scowls of contrite irritation.

Sakura glanced at Kakashi who had remained wisely silent and he quickly raised his hands and smiled with his eye. As much as he enjoyed the show, he wasn't about to provoke her and get an appendage ripped off.

"Ne, Sakura-chan, you didn't have to use chakra," Naruto whined, furiously rubbing his abused ear.

Sakura snorted, fisting her hands on her hips. "Now, where were we?"

"Assuming our perpetrator is Kabuto, it does seem unlikely that he would suspect Hinata's survival by Sasuke's hand," Kakashi mused. "We certainly didn't."

Sasuke crossed his arms and glanced away. True or not, it still stung every time he thought of how close he came to making the single biggest mistake of his life back then.

"However," Kakashi continued, "he is very dedicated to his experiments and one can only assume any experiment involving an unsealed Hyuuga would be greatly valued. How do you suppose he reacted when he found all of his work here, possibly including the subject itself, destroyed?"

Sasuke's head snapped back to him, eyes wide and as close to terror-stricken as the copy-nin had ever seen since their first mission together.

"He'll come after me," he whispered.

Naruto's stomach dropped. "And find…."

"Hinata," Sakura finished.

Sasuke was gone from the torchlight before any of them could draw their next breath.

* * *

Humming a happy tune, Hinata plucked a sprig of lavender and inhaled its soothing scent. Her heart felt light and unburdened after her little talk with Nanami-san. What did it matter to anyone else if she loved Sasuke? He was her savior and the light in her darkness, perhaps even literally. Without his support she never would've been able to endure the experimental treatments and she was sure the treatments were responsible for the strange things she'd been experiencing lately.

After mulling it over for days on end, she was positive she'd seen the tenketsu on Sasuke's shoulder the night his cursed seal activated. How else could she have unerringly found them and closed them off if those faint pinpricks of light in her world of absolute shadows hadn't truly been them?

The problem was she had never been able to see tenketsu before. Her Byakugan was never powerful enough and no matter how hard she practiced her chakra control as Sakura had instructed, she hadn't been able to "see" anything since.

_Perhaps it was only an illusion, a memory imprint like the images I saw when my chakra released the first time._

Raising her hand before her face, Hinata narrowed her eyes at where she knew the appendage to be. A full minute passed and not even a flicker of luminance became evident. With a resigned sigh, she returned to the task of weeding her garden. She would have more answers when Sakura and the others returned.

Just thinking about her brooding husband's return curved her lips into a smile and she resumed humming. Three days had given her a great deal of time to reminisce on Sasuke's tender kisses. Her poor cheeks would never recover from her constant state of blush, especially when she finally decided on unearthing the slinky nightgown tucked in the back of the closet. Ino forced her to buy it along with everything else, promising she would have need of it one day. She hadn't agreed then, but she was quite grateful now.

When Sasuke first kissed her with such hunger and passion, she'd been frightened more by her own desire than his. She never believed it possible to love anyone more than she once loved Naruto. Oh, but she did. For all of his faults, mistakes, and social ineptitude, she did. So much so that every minute apart felt like years of separation.

When he got home, she was going to show him just how much he'd imbedded himself into her heart. She wanted to share that fairytale ending with her dark prince. If anyone deserved a happy ending, it was Uchiha Sasuke.

Blushing a bright pink from anticipation, Hinata didn't hear the object of her thoughts enter the inner courtyard until he spoke.

"Hinata."

Her head snapped up with a startled squeak. "S-Sasuke-kun? When did you get back?"

"Just now." He took several, near-silent steps across the grass and a frown creased her brow.

"I didn't hear you…" _or feel you. I always feel it when you come home._ Tilting her head to better listen to his movements, Hinata reached out her senses and brushed the tightly shielded form of chakra approaching her.

He grunted and she shivered as the familiar velvet warmth of his tone contrasted sharply with her senses. Turning back to the garden, she plucked several leaves of Eucalyptus and idly toyed with them. "Did Nanami-san see you? She wanted to prepare a special meal when you got back."

"I'm not hungry," he said. "What have you been up to?"

She shrugged and leaned forward to pat the dirt around her plants, rubbing the crushed leaves in her hand against her pant leg. "I've been here mostly, in the garden."

As soon as she felt him stop beside her, she grabbed the kunai half buried in the dirt and swung it towards his leg. The tearing of cloth and a soft swear was her only reward as her target leaped back to just barely escape the blow. He pounced on her before she could gain her feet and she gasped sharply on impact. The kunai was wrenched from her hand and pressed to her throat, stilling any thoughts of a struggle.

"Who are you?" she demanded.

The kunai eased slightly against her neck. "So it's true. You're blind." He chuckled. "I expected as much, but imagine my surprise when I came looking for an Uchiha and found a Hyuuga instead."

A long finger trailed down her cheek and she fought the need to tremble. "I thought you were dead, hime," he whispered.

Lavender eyes widened and Hinata struck out, heedless of the kunai at her throat. Her fingernails dug into skin and he hissed sharply as he tried to dodge her wild flailing. Dropping the kunai, he grabbed her wrist and flipped her over, twisting her arms behind her back until she cried out in pain.

"Now, now, princess. None of that," he breathed in her ear, tweaking her arm for emphasis.

A whimper escaped her clenched teeth and tears burned her eyes. _This can't be happening! How did he get into the village and past Nanami-san? Nanami-san!_

"What did you do to Nanami-san?" she demanded.

"You should be more worried about yourself, Hinata-chan," Kabuto murmured. Tucking his face into the crook of her neck, he breathed deeply and smiled when she cringed.

"I see why he kept you," he grinned. "I may have to reconsider my original plan."

Hinata's heart stilled. _Plan?_

"He will come for me," she said, hating how her voice trembled.

Kabuto smirked. "I'm counting on it."

* * *

_**Hime- **_princess

Lanse is currently hidden in an undisclosed location under heavy guard. Please leave your "gasps", "squeals", and "OMGs" at the review button. Beep.


	26. in Haste

**A/N-** Thank you for so many wonderful reviews. I wish I had time to reply to everyone but writing comes first, ne? And yes, this chapter is shorter than the others. That's just how the cookie crumbles so stop your whining. *ducks back into bunker* This thing _is_ totally fan-proof, right?

**Disclaimer:** All rights respectfully belong to Kishimoto.

Enjoy!

**_Ikigai_**

**in Haste**

**Chapter 26**

Tossing his towel into the hamper, Neji scooped up a comb and quickly ran it through his damp hair. Normally he was quite fastidious about his long locks, but today he was in a bit of a rush.

When the gates of Konoha came into sight, he only had one thought on his mind and that was spending the evening with Tenten. The guards at the gate confirmed that she had indeed returned from her own mission just that morning as expected, but their second bit of news had been considerably less comforting.

Four days ago, the Hokage sent Sasuke off on a mission outside of the village with Team 7. Whatever business was serious enough to require the Uchiha so soon after his return was almost as unsettling to contemplate as the thought of Hinata being more or less alone for four days.

Neji knew he would never be able to fully enjoy Tenten's company until he checked on his little cousin and eased his worry. While Hinata was a fairly capable woman despite her disability and she did have Nanami-san to keep her company, she had grown quite attached to the Uchiha and this was the longest the two had been apart since his return. Besides, as ironic as it sounded, he felt better knowing one of the most dangerous shinobi in the world slept beside her each night.

Dropping the comb onto the dresser, he snatched up a black jonin shirt and pulled it over his head. With one last flick of fingers through his hair, he left his room to put his mind at ease.

The once abandoned Uchiha District no longer retained the desolate atmosphere left in the aftermath of the massacre. He'd been surprised that Sasuke left the main house to fall into disrepair, choosing a smaller compound as the new residence for himself and Hinata. It stood out like a polished stone in a rubble heap. Flowers framed the entrance pathway, the wood oiled and finished to a warm, welcoming glow. Life thrived in this place unlike all the others and one could feel it seeping into their bones just by standing on the front step. Such was the effect of Hinata's presence.

Neji knocked on the door and waited patiently for Nanami to answer. It didn't usually take long unless she was involved in helping Hinata with something, as seemed to be the case today. He knocked again and tilted his head to listen for movement within. The entire compound was eerily quiet. Not that any of its occupants were ever noisy, but there was usually a thrum of activity. Hinata was a busy bee after all and had as much trouble sitting still as the rest of them. If she wasn't training she was working on her ointments and salves.

Slender brows dipped into a frown when the silence continued. _Could they have gone out? _He glanced up at the darkening sky. _It's a bit late for that._

His hand hovered over the door handle as he debated with manners over concern and finally concern won out. After all, Sasuke wasn't here to ensure Hinata's protection and welfare and Hinata would hardly feel offended with a minor invasion of privacy such as this.

With his conscience mollified, Neji slid the door open and stepped in.

"Ohayo, Hinata-sama, Nanami-san?"

Silence echoed back at him and he cautiously walked down the hallway towards the kitchen, the most likely place to locate Nanami.

"Nanami-san? Hinata-sama?"

Stopping in the soft glow of light filtering through the doorway, Neji peered into the kitchen with increasing unease. All seemed to be in order, dishes arranged on the table and stove in preparation for dinner, but the continued silence was disquieting. Stepping around the table, he stopped in time to avoid stepping on a pale arm.

"Nanami-san!"

Dropping to his knees, Neji pressed two fingers to her throat and breathed relief at the faint pulse. Gently turning her over, he found the source of the congealed puddle of blood and quickly tore the sleeve off his shirt to bind the head wound.

_What happened? She's obviously been laying here for some time…Hinata-sama!_

Activating his Byakugan, Neji's blood froze with the confirmation of his worst fears.

_No, not again!_

Heaving Nanami onto his back, he raced to the hospital with greater speed than most considered safe within the village. Mental gears churned fiercely, coldly calculating facts and options to press down the thick choking knot of terror in his chest. Who? How many? Why? How much of a lead do they have? Where did they go? _Is Hinata still alive?_

Neji shook his head sharply, refusing to confront the possibility. Not now, not ever again.

Skidding into the reception area, his sharp eyes latched onto the nearest medic and he practically shoved his limp package into her arms.

"Where is Tsunade-sama?" he demanded of the startled medic.

"Not here. What hap— Hey, come back!"

Ignoring the medic's angry demand, Neji streaked out of the hospital to the tower, scaling the spiraling steps in record time. Vaguely aware of Shizune's startled voice, he burst through the door without knocking for the first time in his life.

"Tsunade-sama!" he stopped short at the sight of a genin team gaping at him curiously. The Hokage's expression flickered from anger to surprise in a heartbeat before blanking into a mask of calm.

"Dismissed."

The young team reluctantly filed out, casting inquisitive glances at the panting Anbu captain until the door closed behind them.

"Considering you aren't typically given to dramatics, I suspect this is important," Tsunade raised a brow.

Swallowing a broken breath, Neji strode the last few steps to her desk and squared his shoulders, drawing on years of control to withhold his panic. "Hinata-sama has been kidnapped."

Tsunade eyed his exceptionally cold features with sinking dread. "What?"

Silver eyes locked onto her with frightening intensity. "I stopped by the compound just a few minutes ago but no one answered so I let myself in. I found Nanami-san on the kitchen floor, unresponsive with a head injury. She must have been there for some time. The blood on the floor was congealed. Hinata was nowhere to be found."

Fire snapped in amber eyes. _This is one time I wish my suspicions would have been wrong._ "Evidence of forced entry?"

Neji shook his head. "None, though I didn't take the time to perform a full search. Hinata was obviously not present nor would leave the house alone and Nanami was seriously injured. I took her to the hospital and came here." His voice and eyes hardened into chilling resolve. "Permission to pursue, Hokage-sama."

Only years of working with the young prodigy and watching him grow into one of Konoha's finest shinobi enabled Tsunade to hear the desperate "please" left unspoken. With manners as deeply ingrained as his to suddenly drop all formalities regarding the former heiress, she knew the man was close to panicking.

She nearly lost this valuable asset and formidable shinobi to Hinata's prior disappearance and assumed death. The man was clinging to control by a thread beneath his stoic façade just as he'd been back then, but there was something far more desperate lurking behind those silver eyes this time.

Tsunade studied him coolly for several strained minutes. Hyuuga Neji was not an irrational man by any means, never giving reign to emotion over logic, but she knew nothing she said would keep him here when Hinata was out there somewhere helpless as a newborn in her current state. Still….

"Shizune!"

The dark-haired kunoichi poked her head in so quickly one might suspect she'd been listening at the door.

"Hai, Tsunade-sama?"

"Send an urgent message to the gate. As soon as Team 7 returns from their mission, I want them here!"

"Hai, Tsunade-sama!"

Neji fidgeted when the door shut and he was once more left without direction, without purpose while Hinata was slipping further away from them. Why was the Hokage stalling? The enemy was gaining greater distance with each passing minute!

"Hokage-sama…."

"I recently sent Team 7 on a mission to investigate rumors concerning a rogue shinobi targeting medical transports. This particular shinobi was reported to be using snake summoning jutsu."

Neji stiffened. "Orochimaru?"

A faint smile tugged at Tsunade's lip. _At least now I have his attention. I wonder what he'd say if he knew how much he was acting like Sasuke and Naruto right now albeit slightly more sedate. Naruto would be yelling up a storm and Sasuke…._ She suppressed a shiver at the thought of what the former avenger would do as soon as he found out someone had taken his wife. There would be no holding back that inferno.

"Sasuke remains adamant that Orochimaru is dead, but was suitably disturbed by the rumors. Considering the unlikelihood of just any random shinobi possessing a snake summoning contract, I have reason to believe their investigation and Hinata's current disappearance may be related."

Turning her chair to glare out the window, Tsunade tapped a long finger on her desk. "The timing is remarkably convenient. I send Sasuke out of the village merely weeks after his return and Hinata disappears."

Neji's fists clenched at his side. "You think someone has been watching them?"

Sighing softly, Tsunade tugged at one of her pigtails. "I hope not, but if they were…." shaking her head, she fixed a moderate glare on Neji. "Go back to the compound and see what you can find. If I'm right about this connecti—."

The door slammed open and darkness afire stalked in, searing every corner of the room with glowering crimson eyes.

"Where is she."

The rest of Team 7 stumbled in, panting from excessive exertion. Ever the resilient one, Naruto straightened up first.

"They told us at the gate to come here right away." He hesitated before voicing their shared dread. "Were we too late?"

"Her absence has only been noted within the hour," Tsunade said, glancing at Neji.

Sasuke's muscles tensed and in the blink of an eye he would've been gone if three pairs of hands hadn't seized hold of him. Despite the severity of the situation, Tsunade couldn't help her amusement at the picture. Naruto and Kakashi had what looked to be an almost painful grasp on the Uchiha's arms and Sakura's chakra enhanced embrace wrapped firmly around his waist.

The ensuing fight for freedom she expected never occurred. After a long, tense minute, Sasuke relaxed in the restrictive hold of his teammates and Tsunade raised a brow at his unexpected compliance.

_Hinata really has changed him._

"Report."

"Orochimaru's compound has been excavated," Kakashi replied, voice unusually cold. "His remains were not to be found, however we did find a large jutsu grid, slightly faded."

Amber eyes narrowed. "What kind of grid?"

Kakashi tilted his head to glance behind Sasuke where only the crown of a pink head could be seen.

"The forbidden technique Living Cell Absorption," came Sakura's muffled voice.

Tsunade scowled. "Kabuto."

Neji's hands fisted at his side. Kabuto had infiltrated many different layers of Konoha over time. It would've been effortless for him to kidnap Hinata undetected.

Silver eyes turned accusingly on Sasuke.

"He knew she was here all this time and you didn't tell anyone?" he seethed.

Sasuke lunged and his startled teammates grappled to hold him back.

"I covered our tracks," he snarled.

"I can attest to that, Neji-kun," Kakashi said calmly despite the strain it took to hold onto a furious Uchiha. "The laboratory portion of the compound was decimated beyond any form of recovery. Kabuto had no reason to suspect Sasuke spared Hinata's life, especially considering her state of health at the time."

"Let's try to keep our focus, kids," Tsunade cut through the tension. "He's got as much as a day's lead if not more but at least we now know who and what to look for."

Everyone turned back to the Hokage and Sasuke allowed his muscles to go limp. "Let go," he growled. Their point had been made. This wasn't like his vendetta with Itachi. He knew he couldn't just run off and hunt Kabuto down with Hinata's life hanging in the balance. No doubt the medic-nin was expecting him to react with his usual impatience, and had Naruto and the others not latched onto him, he would have.

The man was an unknown factor now. Absorbing Orochimaru's remains could've given him more abilities than just snake summoning and he had too much at stake to risk running in blind…and alone.

Kakashi, Naruto and Sakura exchanged wary glances and nodded in silent agreement. All three slowly eased back until Sasuke shrugged his shoulders and stepped forward.

"Are you going to let me go after him or what," he demanded.

Tsunade's lips twitched. "You wouldn't listen if I said no."

He grunted, but waited for her to finish.

"Team Kakashi," Tsunade snapped, and all but Sasuke instinctively jolted to attention.

"Your mission is to retrieve Uchiha Hinata and eliminate Yakushi Kabuto by any means necessary. Hyuuga Neji will be joining your team."

Surprise flickered across Neji's face. "Tsunade-sama."

"It's more than obvious that Kabuto is expecting pursuit." Tsunade narrowed her eyes at Sasuke. "I suggest that you meet his expectations in every way."

Sasuke nodded once and turned on his heal, pausing beside Neji. "Meet us at the compound."

All rivalry and differences fell aside in the face of their mutual goal and Neji nodded sharply. Regardless of how much Sasuke's attitude and history grated on him, there was no doubting the man's devotion to his little cousin any longer.

Blood was going to spill.

***

Sasuke crouched in the grass and picked up a lone kunai. Nothing was out of place in the entire compound with the exception of the small pool of Nanami's blood in the kitchen. If Hinata put up a fight, it surely didn't last very long but knowing that she did gave him hope. His girl wasn't a quitter and no matter what Kabuto did to her, he prayed she knew he would never rest until he had her in his arms again.

This was by far the most sensitive mission he'd ever had. Even if he knew where Kabuto had taken her, he couldn't just barrel in Chidori blazing, no matter how fiercely he wanted too. So much was at stake. He couldn't lose Hinata and there were so many ways he could. Would she be wholly herself by the time he got to her?

The sharp sting of the kunai cutting into his fisted palm pierced through the fog of fury and fear threatening to cloud his mind. Slowly uncurling his hand, Sasuke watched his blood drip to stain the grass. So much of it had been shed by his hands and yet it still wasn't enough to protect the people in his life.

Revenge had left a bitter taste in his mouth once it was accomplished. Justice may have been served, but it didn't bring his family back. Dropping the kunai, Sasuke fisted his hand again, ignoring the twinge of pain. _I will not become an Avenger again. This time I won't be too late._

Petite hands wrapped around his fist and he looked up into verdant eyes bright with worry and understanding. Sakura gently pried opened his fist and stroked healing fingers over the cut. "We need you in top form, Sasuke-kun," she murmured. "_Hinata_ needs you in top form."

He grunted acknowledgement and turned his attention back to the garden. This wasn't exactly the homecoming he envisioned. Something along the lines of a hot dinner and a warm, willing wife in bed was more like it. Having replayed the goodbye kiss they shared over and over again, Hinata's fear of him leaving, left him with the certainty that affection was no longer one-sided. Of course, _affection _hardly did justice to what he felt but he wouldn't presume to know the inner workings of any woman's heart, especially one as extraordinary as Hyuuga Hinata.

_Uchiha Hinata,_ he reminded himself. Those arrogant fools of the Hyuuga clan had no right to claim her anymore. They probably wouldn't even care to hear she was missing.

A shadow fell across him and he looked over at his wife's beloved cousin. It took Neji all of three minutes to gather his gear and meet them at the compound. The stray thought that Hinata would be happy to see the two of them working together nearly tugged a smile from Sasuke's lips. The Hyuuga genius still rubbed him the wrong way, but beyond a doubt no one else in the village was more devoted to Hinata than Neji.

"Find something?" He asked.

Neji picked up a small, broken leaf and rubbed it between his fingers. "Eucalyptus, a small pile of them."

"Maybe she was harvesting some for her medicines," Sakura offered.

Sasuke shook his head. "She would've had a container to put them in or something."

Raising the leaf closer for inspection, Neji wrinkled his nose at the sharp odor. "Hinata always smells like herbs, but if she was handling Eucalyptus…its fragrance is more potent, especially when the leaves are crushed and it takes forever to fade."

Tucking the lone kunai into his pouch, Sasuke stood. "Kakashi."

"Ah." It didn't take a genius to figure out what the other two genius' were thinking. _Or maybe it does, _Kakashi mused as he glimpsed Naruto's bewildered face. Nicking his thumb, he flipped rapidly through the signs and pressed his hand to the ground. With a loud poof, his pack appeared, eager for a good hunt.

"Yo, Kakashi," Pakkun popped up on the head of his largest counterpart.

"Someone has taken Hinata-chan," the copy-nin said. "The trail is one maybe two days old."

The pug grunted. "It rained last night. It'll be hard to track her."

"She may have scent-tagged herself," he said and eight pairs of ears perked up.

Neji kneeled and held out the leaf to the ninkin as they crowded around him. Several sneezed when they took too strong a whiff of the potent scent before breaking apart and snuffling the ground.

"It's a very natural scent," Sakura mused. "Do you think they'll—."

Sharp barks cut her off and the pack surged into motion. In a matter of seconds, Sakura suddenly found herself standing alone in the courtyard.

"Apparently, yes," she sighed. Chakra surged through her body and she sprinted up and over the wall. By the time they crested the gate, she fell in pace with Naruto.

The sunny blonde grinned at her, one sharp canine peaking out. "Ne, try to keep up this time, Sakura-chan!"

"Someone's got to watch your sorry behinds," she scowled at him.

Naruto's grin broadened, eyes bright with the thrill of the hunt. "Wouldn't have it any other way."

***

She twisted her wrists against the thick leather binding more so out of needing something to do than an effort to escape. Even if by some miracle she managed to free herself _and_ disable her captor, there were still miles of twisting tunnels between her and freedom. So she would conserve her energy and wait because he was coming. As sure as the sun rose in the east and set in the west, Sasuke was coming and she would wait, just like he told her to.

"I must say, I'm a little disappointed," Kabuto sighed off to her right. "Your fire burned out rather fast, didn't it?"

When she remained silent, his steps moved closer.

"I suppose everyone always did expect too much from you, just for being a Hyuuga." An icy finger trailed down her cheek and she jerked away. "Even Sasuke-kun."

By sheer force of will, Hinata manage to keep from rolling her eyes. The Sound-nin took perverse pleasure in telling her stories about Sasuke, horrible stories about what he'd done in the service of Orochimaru. Perhaps some of them were true, perhaps not. She only knew how he touched her, held her, kissed her….

The pleasant memories promising to take her away if only for a moment shattered beneath the forceful pressure of a hand on her abdomen. She fought the urge to squirm, knowing it would only amuse him more.

"Such a shame you don't already hold the future heir. He would've been a nice addition to my collection." The heat of his presence increased and his breath brushed across her cheek. "No need to be afraid, Hinata-chan. Your purpose hasn't changed much." His thumb slowly caressed her stomach and she tried to shrink into the table, a whimper catching in her throat. "Sasuke-kun isn't the only one who has seen your worth."

The tightening coil of fear snapped and her head with it, cracking sharply against his. Pain sliced through her and she almost didn't hear the muttered oaths over the buzzing of her senses, but a sharp metallic scent twitched her nose and satisfaction blanketed the fear and frustration holding her captive.

"That was unwise," came a slightly nasal snarl followed by a flare of chakra. Of course, he could heal himself almost as quickly as she injured him, but the smell of blood lingered with the reminder that she was only as helpless as she allowed herself to be.

The surge of chakra subsided and she listened to him shuffle around with renewed purpose. When he returned to her side, the harsh grip of his hand on her arm was the only warning before a sharp stinging lanced through her flesh.

"Be as difficult as you wish." Kabuto's voice had returned to its deceptive calm. "I don't have to be gentle," he wiggled the needle in her arm for emphasis and she clenched her teeth, refusing to make a sound. "And I don't need to keep you, either." Drawing the needle out, he carelessly swabbed the sore entry wound. "I can just as easily harvest your ovaries and implant the embryos in a surrogate."

Her muscles went limp when she wanted nothing more than to rip off the bindings and claw his eyes out. One by one, her over-active senses dulled and faded.

"Perhaps I'll even leave you alive afterwards and let Sasuke-kun find you." His voice drifted to her soft and cushioned on the edges of awareness and dreams. "Would he still want you then, barren and useless?"

Cold air dance across the skin of her abdomen and something sharper than fear pressed against her on the very fringes of consciousness.

"Let's find out."

* * *

*holds remaining chapters over fire* Be careful now. I can make threats too. *evil grin*


	27. in Darkness

**A/N- **Thanks for all of your wonderfully entertaining reviews and for being so patient. I know you're all dancing in your seats by now. This chapter is rather fast-paced but I suppose that's good because I feel really crummy and that equals crummy editing. Hopefully no one will notice.

**Disclaimer: **Naruto not mine. Hn.

Enjoy!

**_Ikigai_**

**in Darkness**

**Chapter 27**

Sasuke curved his hand over his left shoulder and eyed the narrow underground entrance. The cursed seal started tingling shortly before Kakashi's ninkin lead them here. Hinata was close…but so was something else, something that _should_ be dead.

"It appears to be abandoned," Neji deactivated his Byakugan, "but there are pockets of chakra blocking my sight."

"He's expecting us," Kakashi said. "He wants us to walk right in, then he'll close the trap."

"So what do we do?" Sakura whispered.

"We go in," Sasuke said.

"Oi, Kakashi. We don't like this place," Pakkun muttered and the other ninkin whined. "It smells funny."

"Funny how?"

"Old death, but not quite."

"Ah. You can go back now. It won't be safe in there for you."

"Hai."

The dogs poofed away and Kakashi uncovered his Sharingan. "Sasuke?"

"It's been two days already," he murmured, clutching his shoulder.

A firm hand fell on his and sharp blue eyes met wild obsidian. "Let's not keep her waiting any longer," Naruto said.

Pulling away, Sasuke glared at the entrance, eyes spinning into crimson. "Let's go."

The air was charged as they strolled down the narrow hallway, eyes flickering every which way for even a hint of danger. They could feel the gentle decline of the hall and soon darkness shrouded them completely.

Sakura reached out just as a warm hand reached back. Relief surged through her as Naruto tugged her close to his side and for once she forgot to feel disgruntled over being the only one incapable of seeing in complete darkness.

"Is this hall even leading us anywhere?" she whispered, clinging to her fiancé.

"It splits up ahead," Neji's soft voice boomed in the darkness.

Naruto stopped abruptly and squeezed Sakura's hand. She looked so adorably cute, eyes wide and unseeing, depending only on him to guide her safely. Glancing between the two gaping hallways, each equally dark, he looked to Sasuke and frowned.

"Your call, Sasuke."

Edging first into the left hall, then the right, Sasuke clasped his shoulder when the tingling increased. What would've been pain couldn't seem to break through Hinata's sealing.

"We'll take the right," he decided.

Naruto carefully transferred Sakura's clutching hand to Kakashi's vest and gave her a quick peck on the forehead. "Be careful."

Pink tinted her cheeks at the public display of affection even if it was black as pitch because every man present could see it clear as day.

Kakashi chuckled and patted her hand. "Stick close, Sakura-chan."

Naruto strode into the right hand corridor and stared into the darkness thoughtfully. "You sure?"

"Positive," Sasuke said, forcing his hand to uncurl from his shoulder. "Neji."

Silver light met blood red across the darkness.

"Get her out of here."

Neji turned away and stepped into the left corridor. "Come back in one piece," he threw back.

***

Their steps echoed loudly and Sakura couldn't understand why no one had descended on them yet. The darkness made her edgy and while she trusted Kakashi would keep her safe, she would have much preferred to be clinging to an orange coat instead of a green vest.

"Stop."

His voice ringing out beside her made her jump and all steps halted.

"What is it?" Neji asked.

Kakashi eyed the hallway before them. "Genjutsu."

Neji eyed the corridor stretching out before him. "I can't see it."

"It's probably the one he used to trap Hinata-chan. It's very intricate," Kakashi observed. Untangling Sakura's hand from his vest he transferred her to Neji. "This might take a second."

Sakura huffed, fingers curling in a silken sleeve. "I'm no use to you guys like this."

"If Hinata is injured, none of us can heal her," Neji reasoned. "You may be the most useful among us."

Green eyes flickered up towards where she knew his face to be, softened by the atypical offer of comfort.

"You're really worried about her, aren't you," she whispered.

He didn't get the chance to answer, and probably wouldn't have, when Kakashi's "kai!" echoed through the hall. The floor instantly fell from beneath them.

***

Naruto paused and glanced back over his shoulder. "Did you hear that?"

Sasuke tilted his head to listen before continuing on. "They triggered a trap."

Tension zipped up Naruto's spine and he fought the urge to turn back. Glowering at the red and white fan floating in the darkness before him, he begrudgingly followed.

"She'll be fine, Naruto," Sasuke murmured. "Kakashi and Neji are with her."

He stopped again and Sasuke turned with a sigh. "What now?"

Naruto eyed him speculatively. "It's just, we never really talked about me and Sakura before. It doesn't bother you?"

Sasuke shrugged. "Why should it? I'm already married."

"Hey, you can't count all those months when she didn't even know she was married to you," Naruto glared.

With a smirk, Sasuke turned away. "I still got married first."

"Yeah, well, we'll just see who has a kid first, hah!" Naruto stomped up beside him.

Sasuke glanced sideways. "Sakura would kill you if she heard you say that."

Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "Eh heh, heh, let's keep this one to ourselves."

"Hn." They walked in cautious silence for a few minutes. "What does the winner get?" Sasuke asked finally.

Blue eyes twinkled. "One year, no-strings-attached, anytime, anywhere baby-sitting."

"Baby-sitting?"

Naruto smirked. "Think you'll get much alone time once there's a baby around?"

It took Sasuke all of half a second to ponder. "Deal."

"Good, now," Naruto's eyes sharpened, "tell me why you picked this hallway."

Sasuke's hand slid up to his shoulder. "The cursed seal is reacting to something, probably the portion of Orochimaru that Kabuto absorbed."

Naruto eyed him warily. "You don't plan on using it, do you?"

Sasuke's jaw clenched.

The blonde sighed. "Fair enough. I think there's some light up ahead."

"I see it."

The absence of traps was disconcerting. Kabuto was making it too easy to get this deep into the compound. If the other branch led to Hinata, most assuredly the others would have more than a few traps to weave their way through. Kabuto would've been prepared for him to go after her first. No amount of acting on his part was going to convince the medic-nin that Hinata meant nothing to him now.

Side by side with his brother in heart, Sasuke stepped into the first anti-chamber. Torches lined the perimeter, casting shadows along the walls and between the pillars. A figure wrapped in darkness stood between them and the only other door and Sasuke's heart skipped a beat as Naruto breathed in sharply beside him.

"Hello, little brother."

***

Sakura sputtered and a large hand thumped her heartily on the back.

"You're okay, Sakura-chan," Kakashi's overly cheerful voice told her. "A little water never hurt anyone."

"That was a good deal more than a little water," Neji muttered, leaning against a wall to catch his breath.

"A little…warning…next time…would be nice," Sakura rasped between gasps.

"Well, how was I suppose to know deactivating the genjutsu would trigger another trap," Kakashi held his hands out and shrugged.

"Because that's exactly what Kabuto would expect Sasuke to do," Neji straightened. Between the two of them, a soggy Sakura was leveled to her feet.

"I don't mind the water," she groused, wringing out her skirt. "But I swear there was something alive in there."

Kakashi and Neji glanced over their shoulders at the lifeless form floating in the cistern.

"Eh, heh, I'm sure you were just imagining it, Sakura-chan." Kakashi gripped her elbow and ushered her forward. "Being without your sight does that sometimes."

"Well, it's really starting to get on my nerves." She scowled. "Neji, what do you see?"

"There's another spilt up ahead and a concentration of chakra in each branch blocking my sight beyond them."

"More genjutsu concealing traps?" Sakura asked.

"That would be my guess," Kakashi returned. His steps halted, pulling them both to a stop.

"Which way?" Neji asked, eyeing the split. This was taking too much time.

Sakura frowned, tilting her face into the darkness. "Left. The air is cooler coming from the left. We always keep our labs at a cooler temperature than the rest of the building and I'm guessing Kabuto would too. If he means to continue his research—."

"Then Hinata would likely be in the lab," Kakashi finished for her. Guiding her hand back to Neji, he cautiously stalked into the tunnel. "At least we know what to expect this time…sort of."

"Most of the chakra concentration seems to be in the walls," Neji observed.

Kakashi eyed the carved stone walls before focusing on the genjutsu. This one was far less complicated and unraveled like a ball of yarn so fast he almost missed the faint brush of metal against stone.

Diving forward, he tumbled under the dagger sharp gate that slammed down, barely getting his feet beneath him before he twisted sideways to avoid a spray of kunai. Flipping backwards over a second metal-edged gate shooting up from the ground, he twisted again and slid to a stop at the end of the gauntlet with a breath of relief. At the last second, he snapped his head back, a spear narrowly missing the tip of his nose before embedding in the opposite wall.

"Kakashi?" Sakura's worried voice echoed through the darkness.

"Well, that was fun," he murmured, scratching the back of his head. "Give me a sec. I'm sure there's a release switch around here somewhere."

Sakura's fingers curled in Neji's sleeve. "Do I even want to know?" she whispered.

"Probably not," Neji returned, watching the pikes slowly withdraw into stone. At Kakashi's all clear, he cautiously edged forward, prepared to throw himself and the currently sightless kunoichi clinging to him the entire length of the corridor if Kakashi had miscalculated.

He breathed more easily once they reached the copy-nin's side. "It can't be much further," he said, pulling Sakura forward. He heard the click, felt the rush of air, and had just enough time to curse before the ceiling collapsed.

***

**"_Do you really think you will ever be free of me?"_**

An exasperated growl snapped Sasuke out of the dangerous spiral into memory and he tore his gaze away from the wraith of his past to see Naruto throw up his arms.

"For the love of—! Doesn't anyone ever stay dead anymore?" he yelled.

Crimson eyes darted back to the figure standing across from them. _Dead. He's dead. I obliterated his heart with my bare hands. He's…._

"A puppet," he said and blue eyes turned to him.

"Huh?"

Relief flooded through him on the tail of certainty. "It's one of Kabuto's puppets."

Naruto grinned and smacked his fist into his hand. "That means he's mine. You go ahead and I'll catch up when I'm done."

Sasuke nodded sharply and sprinted sideways as a crowd of Naruto's poofed into the room to provide him cover.

Feral grins stretched from wall to wall. "Let's dance, wannabe!" The entire mass converged on the Itachi puppet and Sasuke darted unseen through the door into the next hall. Even if it was only a puppet, Kabuto's jutsu was potent enough to put up a serious battle. Naruto wouldn't be joining him any time soon.

_Did the others find Hinata yet?_ Shaking the cloud of worry and fear that threatened to dull his senses in the absence of Naruto's reassuring presence, Sasuke pressed on into the dark corridor.

He'd never been to this compound before, and while it did bear many similarities to the others, each one was different. Besides, Kabuto had plenty of time to plan for this encounter. The puppet bearing the face of his brother was proof enough of that. Did the Sound-nin mess with Hinata's head too? Two days was time enough to do anything and everything his worst nightmares could possibly conceive.

Gritting his teeth, he forced himself to think of lavender eyes bright with determination and fire. No, his girl was a fighter to the very end. Kabuto couldn't break her. No one could. She was steel in silk, flame in darkness, life and death to the man brave enough to keep her. She was a shinobi of the Leaf and somewhere in this twisting maze, she was waiting for him.

Far be it from Uchiha Sasuke to disappoint his wife.

*******

Sakura coughed harshly to clear her lungs of the caking dust. Wiping her hand across her face, she winced and gingerly prodded her bare knuckles. Even if she was rendered pretty much useless in the pitch blackness, she really should've been wearing her gloves, but then again, she hadn't expected to be smashing stone in an underground tunnel. The two tended to not go well hand in hand.

_I wonder if this is what it's like for Hinata._ She didn't know how long they'd been in the tunnels and while her eyes never became accustomed to the darkness enough to register any kind of vision, her other senses were definitely hyperactive. The unnatural click in the darkness had been nearly deafening to her ears and the rush of motion from directly overhead felt like it could've blown her over. Before her mind registered what was happening, her chakra infused fist met granite and her ears rang with the resulting explosion.

Brushing the cuts closed, she reached into her pouch for her gloves and tugged them on before cautiously feeling around the debris.

"Neji? Kaka-sensei?"

A muffled groan to her immediately left had her reaching blinding into the void before she touched something soft and solid.

"Definitely, not the best idea," Neji muttered, sitting up with a grimace.

Another groan echoed him on her right. "But effective."

Sakura huffed as she prodded the Hyuuga for injuries. "Well, maybe if I had a little more warning from someone who can actually _see_ in this kami-forsaken place, then I would've reacted differently."

Identical snorts of disbelief echoed on either side of her and she mercilessly poked the only one she could reach.

Neji grunted and pushed her hand away. "I'm fine."

"Kakashi?"

"I'll live."

Sakura scowled towards his voice. "That's not reassuring."

A firm hand beneath her arm lifted her to her feet. "Nothing but bruises, Sakura," Neji confirmed. "Let's just keep going. I see a door just around that turn."

Two separate pairs of hands helped her over the debris and they cautiously made their way around the corner.

Sakura tugged at Neji's shirt. "Can you see beyond it?"

"There's a chakra seal."

"I suppose there's only one way to find out then," Kakashi said, slowly grasping the handle. "Ready?"

All three braced themselves as he slowly turned the knob, shoved the door open and leaped back. Seconds ticked by and as one they all breathed out.

"Well, that was kind of anti-climatic," Sakura said.

Neji stiffened suddenly and before she could ask him what was wrong, he jerked away from her, his sleeve slipping through her grasping fingers.

"Neji!"

A large hand grabbed hers and she instinctively clutched it as Kakashi pulled her into the room.

"Cover your eyes, Sakura," he ordered and she did just before a flare of light flashed through the room. Kakashi released her hand and she hesitantly cracked her fingers, wincing at the piercing illumination of the previously dark room. Forcing her eyes to adjust faster than was probably safe, she located Neji leaning over an examine table, fists clenching the edge hard enough to break bone.

She hurried over and caught her breath at the sight of leather bindings strapped to slender limbs. Glancing at Neji, she saw his eyes closed, Byakugan deactivated and the slightest tremble shaking his shoulders. Meeting worried mismatched eyes, Sakura turned once more to look into the pixie face on the table.

Hinata's features were smoothed into a picture of serenity, absent of strain and fear. Forcing her hand to not shake, Sakura pressed two fingers to her jugular and swallowed hard.

"No pulse," she whispered. An inhuman scream erupted from the man beside her and he turned and slammed his fist into the nearest machine, sparks and metal flying. Before she could even snap out of her shock, Kakashi was on him, grappling and twisting his arms behind his back.

Forced to his knees, Neji panted, eyes wide and stark with feral madness. "It's not her! It can't be!"

"Neji, calm down," Sakura kneeled in front of him, healing chakra flaring into her hand. If she had to, she would knock him out.

"It's not her!" His eyes clashed with hers and beneath the weight of silver desperation, Sakura froze. _What if…._

"How do you know," she asked softly.

His eyes sharpened and madness edged back beneath a certainty felt to the deepest core of his being. "It's _not _her," he whispered. It couldn't be. He would know. He would feel that piece of him torn apart, all hope erased and smothered, but all he felt right now was fear and rage. If she was dead, the fear would be gone and only fury would remain.

"We were wrong once before," Kakashi murmured.

Sakura looked up into knowing mismatched eyes and felt her own panic ease into something sharper and more easily controlled. Nodding once, she stood and tugged her gloves off. "Do you see any genjutsus overlaying the body?"

Kakashi released his bruising grip on Neji and helped him up. "No."

Sakura cracked her knuckles and reached out to brace her hands on each side of the head. For a brief moment she struggled with the certainty that this face with its familiar curves and creases belonged to only one woman, but the determined eyes boring into her back braced her. They _had _been wrong once before. _She_ had been wrong because they had no other proof and even two years after identifying those burnt remains as Hyuuga Hinata, the niggling doubt in the back of her mind never disappeared.

She wouldn't be wrong this time.

Closing her eyes, she eased her chakra into the cold body, slithering along cranial curves and dried out blood vessels. It was impossible to pin a time of death, tissue and cells seemingly frozen halfway between regeneration and destruction. Familiarity tweaked a memory too distant to identify, so she directed her chakra up towards the eyes. Tracing nerve endings and retinal tissue known to her like the back of her hand, Sakura's stomach dropped with growing dread and she jerked back, unwilling to see more.

No one could duplicate such a complicated mass of melded tissue, nerves, and chakra channels. Even the most skilled medic would….

A choked laugh escaped her lips and she slapped a hand over her mouth. Dancing emerald eyes turned to the two startled men beside her and she swallowed her elated giggles.

"I'm an idiot," she said.

Neji and Kakashi glanced uncertainly at the body then back to her.

"Okay," Kakashi drawled out, instinctively bracing himself for a swift, chakra-enhanced backhand.

Sakura merely rolled her eyes. "This is Kabuto we're dealing with! He's got more forbidden medical jutsus under his belt than most people encounter in a lifetime. He must have melded the chakra channels and nerve endings to emulate Hinata's physiology, but the tissue and cells are frozen between regeneration and destruction and that only happens—."

"When dead cells are temporarily reanimated," Kakashi finished for her.

Neji's eyes fell to the immaculate copy of his cousin. "Is it possible that he," he swallowed, "that she…."

Sakura grasped his shoulder and squeezed hard enough to make him wince. "It's not her, Neji."

Glancing at a table littered with lab equipment, Kakashi picked up a Petri dish and held it up to the light. "Hinata's too valuable alive, even without her sight."

"What else could he want from her if not the Byakugan?" Neji asked.

The copy-nin handed the dish to Sakura and gestured towards the microscope. "Tell me that's not what I think it is."

Frowning, the rosette medic-nin placed the dish under the scope and carefully sharpened the focus. Long ago, she learned to stop thinking things couldn't get worse because inevitably they did. This…this she could never have imagined.

"Sakura?"

The metal table beneath her fingers screeched and bent in protest and she pulled away from the scope, drawing a deep, calming breath into her lungs. "Ovum."

"What?" Neji grabbed her arm and jerked her around. "You mean—."

"Test tube Hyuuga," she said, meeting his eyes unflinchingly. "He harvested Hinata's ova."

Silver eyes widened. "All of them?"

Sakura looked away. "I don't know. He could be keeping most of them in cold storage and that could be anywhere in this maze. Without her here for me to examine…."

"Then we better find her," Kakashi said. Neji and Sakura looked up to see him slap an explosive tag onto a wall. "Kabuto isn't one to burn his bridges if it can be avoided."

Neji reached around Sakura and gingerly picked up the Petri dish. "What are the chances these are…will…."

She covered his hand. "He must have only just started. They haven't been fertilized yet. Right now, they're just cells."

He breathed out slowly and his fingers tightened around the dish. Not even knowing who the genetic father could be, if these tiny specks really had been Hinata's children…. No, there's no way he could've brought himself to destroy them. If she'd ever found out, she never would've forgiven him.

"You're certain?" There couldn't be a shred of doubt.

Verdant eyes squarely met his. "Positive."

He dropped the dish and crushed it under his sandal. Grim satisfaction curled in his chest with the feel of crunching glass. Until he could find the man himself, provided anything was left after Sasuke was through with him, destroying his twisted dreams would have to suffice.

But would it be enough? If Kabuto had really harvested all of Hinata's ova, would she retain her value in the former Avenger's eyes even when she could no longer bear him children? Swallowing against the lump in his throat, Neji slapped an explosive tag onto one of the support walls. There was no time for an extensive search in the twisted maze for something so small and possibly non-existent when they yet had to find Hinata.

A sharp pang of fear and regret stabbed him in the chest when they finally turned their backs on the lab to continue their search and leave more tags throughout the tunnels. Somewhere in this labyrinth might be Hinata's only chance for the family she'd always wanted and soon, it would die in stone and fire.

_Hinata-sama, forgive me._

* * *

For those who slept through biology, "ova" is the plural of "ovum" and are female reproductive cells or eggs.

Okay. Let the love-hate reviews commence.


	28. in Ferocity

**A/N- **It would seem that my current update schedule is basically whenever I find the time in my new crazy life. I'll strive to keep it within the three week marker. There aren't many chapters left now anyway, so savor what you get.

Do **not **speed-read this chapter or you will miss a lot of important details. Oh, and **Kirin **is the name of Sasuke's ultimate technique in which he harnesses natural lightening. Just so you know. Guess that kind of hints at the direction this chapter is taking. ;-)

**Disclaimer: **Naruto belongs to Kishimoto of course.

Enjoy!

**_Ikigai_**

**in Ferocity**

**Chapter 28**

Crimson eyes studied the torch lit chamber from the shadows of the doorway. Darkness shrouded every corner but through the columns a figure stood, features hidden. His chakra snapped and twisted, unfamiliar and yet….

Sasuke stepped into the ring of light and he could fairly feel the satisfied smile on his opponent's face.

"You're getting slow, Sasuke-kun. I expected you sooner."

So it _was_ Kabuto, even if his chakra was far more erratic and potent than it used to be. At least his search was over.

The medic-nin moved to the edge of the light, a faint frown creasing his brow. "No hello? No death threats? How disappointing."

He'd never been much of a conversationalist during a battle, not like Naruto, but there was one thing he needed to know. "Where is she?"

Kabuto chuckled and an eerie chill of familiarity trickled down Sasuke's spine. "Hinata-chan has been delightful company! Imagine my surprise when I came looking for you and found her instead. Does she know, I wonder, how long you sat by her side, watching her suffer? You enjoyed it, didn't you?" The deceptively calm cadence shifted into a silky rasp. "Perhaps the apprentice is not quite so different from his master."

Sasuke's hand curled around the hilt of his sword, drawing it slowly from its sheath. "I know what you've done and it will not save you."

Kabuto tsked. "Always so arrogant and disrespectful, a true Uchiha. Tell me, did you like my present?"

The distance was irritating. He wanted to end this, not chat like old friends, so he started stalking further into the chamber. "My brother is dead. Now you will join him." He leaped the distance, sword slicing through the air with crackling power to miss his target by a hairsbreadth. The blade pierced stone like butter and he yanked it out, spinning in time to swat a cascade of kunai.

"So eager, Sasuke-kun," Kabuto chastised. "I haven't even explained the rules of the game yet."

"The end result will be the same."

"Perhaps for us, but what of your dear Hinata-chan?"

He stopped short and growled at the amusement radiating from the medic-nin. "Where is she?"

Kabuto pulled a kunai with a lit tag and tossed it idly into the darkness. Flames swept through the room, bathing the entire chamber in a warm glow and giving Sasuke a clear target.

A smirk twisted the lips of the medic-nin into something inhuman, his mismatched eyes; one black, one gold; no longer hidden behind thin frames of glass. If Sasuke had doubted before what really happened to Orochimaru's body, he did no more. The conflicting chakra was undoubtedly the result of Kabuto and Orochimaru fighting for dominance, not altogether different from his own battle with the sannin.

The medic was clearly losing.

His gaze flickered over scaly mutations before riveting on the still form partially shielded by Kabuto's body. Without thinking he stepped forward, so drawn to her that he almost missed Kabuto's satisfied smirk.

"She's still alive, as long as you don't get too close."

Heart in throat, Sasuke swept over her slumped body with acute vision, searching for obvious injuries and finding none. For all appearances, she might have simply fallen asleep in the stone chair if not for the metal bindings clamping her small wrists to the arms. Her head leaned awkwardly to the side, face serene in repose, but she breathed and that was all that matter just then.

Snapping his eyes back to his opponent, Sasuke spun his sword and charged his chakra. "No more games, freak."

"Aw, but I like this one. You see, even if you manage to kill me, you will never get to her in time. Just one step past this perimeter," he lightly tapped his toe on the stone and Sasuke watched in horror as a kunai shot from one of the pillars, driving deep into the stone beside Hinata's head with a sickening thunk. Had she been leaning a little more to the right—

"Not so cocky now, are we, Sasuke-kun."

He took a step back before he could stop himself, fist clenching around his sword. "What do you want?"

Kabuto grinned, raising his left arm for his first summon. "I want you to die."

***

A throbbing ache spread up through her body into her head and she wanted nothing more than to return to the superficial sanctuary of sleep. But her bed kept shaking and a sharp chirping pierced through her over-sensitive ears into the fog enshrouding her brain. A blast of heat too close for comfort forced her to turn her head and a sharp stinging in the opposite cheek sliced the last vestiges of slumber away.

Sightless, lavender eyes snapped open, hands instinctively reaching to cover the aching pain spreading out from her abdomen only to be restrained by cold metal.

_He didn't! He couldn't! _The press of a scalpel against her skin was the last thing she remembered, his threatening promise following her into the shadows of dreams.

A loud explosion flooded the air with dust and she coughed, turning her face into her shoulder to keep her lungs clear.

"Ku ku ku, Sasuke-kun. Is that the best you can do?"

Her head shot up as the fierce crackle of static lightening drowned out the taunt.

_He's here! He came!_ She strained against the cuffs holding her, growling when they only cut into her skin. Sitting back with an irritated huff, she once again felt the press of something sharp dangerously close to her face. Turning towards it, she cautiously nudged against it until she felt the smooth texture of the hilt. Twisting and straining the protesting muscles of her aching body, she grasped the kunai in her teeth and yanked it out. The back of her head smacked against the stone behind her and she nearly lost her grip in the resulting daze. Shaking her head once, she leaned down to grasp the hilt with her hand and started digging at the edges of the cuff.

Another quivering boom rained debris down on her and she hunched her shoulders, wincing when a large piece clipped her temple. Blood slickened her wrist from straining against her binds to dig at the latch, but she pushed the pain aside and frantically worked her hand back and forth until a sharp _chink_ awarded her freedom. Shaking her hand loose, she put the kunai to the second cuff, ignorant of the crumbling pillars and walls around her. She sliced her hand twice in her eagerness to be free, and not a moment too soon when she heard her name screamed with more desperate fear than she'd ever heard in her life.

The cuff snapped and she dropped to the ground, metal slashing through the air above her and smashing stone. Deafening silence shrouded the room and she slowly pushed her knees beneath her.

"Don't move!"

She froze and Sasuke breathed out in relief. He should've deflected, not evade. The large shuriken imbedded where Hinata's head had once been was meant for him. Had she not managed to pry herself loose—.

Even still, the stone surrounding her was littered with traps and there was no way she'd be able to dodge them all.

"That was rather unexpected, wasn't it," Kabuto mused, drawing Sasuke's attention back to him. "Perhaps you should be more careful, Sasuke-kun. It'd be a shame to lose her after coming all this way."

Sasuke snarled and the pulsating seal on his shoulder shattered. Chakra ripped through his body with the force of a tidal wave. Every seam of his body pulled and railed and he dropped to his knees, helpless against the surge of pain and power. _No! _He never intended to use the curse seal, never intended to put himself and Hinata at such risk, but as long as any part of Orochimaru survived….

Kabuto grinned, the scaly mutation spreading across his skin. "Don't fight it, Sasuke-kun. I've been waiting too long for this moment." He stalked across the debris littered floor, savoring the defenselessness of his prey. At last, the Sharingan would be his!

Threading his hand through thick raven hair, he jerked Sasuke's head back to meet gleaming golden eyes. "Let's take care of that unfinished business."

***

The flood of malice and hatred took her breath away. _The seal has broken! _Fingers slick with blood curled tightly into fists. _He can't have him!_ Energy surged through her body and she leaped to her feet. Sasuke told her not to move but there was no way she was going to sit here and let Kabuto destroy what they had worked so hard for!

A sharp whistle, too piercingly high for the average ear, spliced the air and she twisted to the left, feeling the rush of metal flying past her as she spun again to the right. Her feet barely touched the ground even long enough to register the uneven terrain as she sprinted towards the overwhelming waves of chakra. Snapping her hand out to grab a weapon from the air, she flung it high and fast.

Her target moved, jumping back in time to dodge her throw, shifting stone as he landed and then rebounded towards her.

"Little girls should know when to stay put!"

She expected him to come from the right but the blow struck her in the back sending her crashing head first into stone.

"Hinata!"

Sasuke struggled to his feet, gasping beneath the pain of the forced transformation. He raised his hands to summon when Kabuto flickered in front of him and seized his neck, slamming against a pillar. Pain pierced through his stomach and blood surged into his throat.

"I'm not done with you yet," Kabuto sneered. Releasing the hilt of the blade pinning his prey to the pillar, the medic raised his fingers in sign for the Living Corpse Transformation. Orochimaru failed once before, he would not fail again.

Staring into wide Sharingan eyes, Kabuto grinned, his chakra swelling to encompass them both into a world of shadows. Only a moment, just one moment more….

His building power suddenly halted, frozen in place and he barely registered the sharp poking in his back.

"Son of a—," he spun and back handed Hinata, sending her sprawling. She quickly scrambled back to her feet, wiping a trickle of blood from her lips as her vacant eyes shifted back and forth.

"You are beginning to try my patience," he snarled.

Her hands fisted at her side. "You can't have him."

Kabuto smirked. "And you're going to stop me?"

Her abdomen ached with memory and reality. If she couldn't even protect herself, would she be able to protect Sasuke?

She gracefully sunk into a taijutsu stance. _I will. I must._

Kabuto eyed her with amusement. "Is he really worth dying for?"

"I don't expect a monster like you to understand."

"Monster, am I?" He chuckled. "Then what would you call the man who sat beside your bed, watching you suffer in my genjutsu for months without so much as lifting a finger?"

_Months? Had it really been that long?_ She shook her head and glowered towards the composed voice she was beginning to loathe. None of that mattered anymore. Sasuke was no angel, but he was hers just the same: her light, her sanctuary, her salvation.

"You talk too much," she said.

Stone crunched beneath his feet and she threw out a palm, blocking his fist. His hand twisted and seized her wrist, jerking her into his chest. "What makes you think you stand a chance against me, girl," he hissed, hot breath caressing her ear.

A small smirk twitched her lips and lavender eyes shifted, locking with his. "I can _see_ you."

Her palm slammed into his chest, chakra exploded out and through him, the force flinging him across the room. Hinata wasted no time, sprinting for the embodiment of light in her perpetual darkness, needle sharp fingers stabbing out one glow after another, dodging each frantic swing of his arm only to come back and stab out more. She didn't have to kill him, didn't have enough chakra at her disposal to even try, but with one swift jab after another, his tenketsu blinked out, short circuiting his chakra coil and his means to use ninjutsu.

With a frustrated yell Kabuto jumped back and flung shuriken at her and with one sweep of her arm, a sharpened blade of chakra shattered them out of her path. It was enough of a distraction that she noticed the glow of tenketsu directly in front of her half a second too late. The heel of his sandal slammed into her abdomen and she couldn't withhold the strangled scream as she crashed into stone, agony lancing straight through her body and choking her breath.

Kabuto panted harshly, drawing himself up with considerable less grace to glare at the crumpled kunoichi. "I thought you were blind," he snarled, pressing a faintly glowing hand over the tear in his lungs. If that first blow had been a bit further to the right, she might have killed him, so powerful had been the force of her chakra.

Hinata curled in on herself, broke sobs ripping from her throat even as she struggled to force healing chakra into her own body.

_I'm sorry, Sasuke._

The uneven scrapping of sandals against the floor told her Kabuto hadn't escaped unscathed, but it wasn't enough. The glow of his presence was still too bright in her midnight world. Cringing with each racking wave of pain, she forced her hand to uncurl and summoned all of her remaining chakra into her palm. She would not go down without a fight.

An explosion of radiance singed her retina and she squeezed her eyes shut, for once finding comfort in the darkness that had become her reality. The hairs on the back of her neck stood on end with the pulsing energy saturating the air and she hesitantly cracked her eyes open. The glow of Kabuto's tenketsu was nothing compared to the surge of power radiating in waves off of Sasuke. It was like staring into the sun and yet she couldn't bring herself to look away as he slowly raised one hand above his head.

Lightening crawled through and around him, the pain of the sword pinning him to stone lost in the utter fury and hatred feeding the seal of heaven. Rock crumbled, shaken from its foundation by their battle and Kabuto glanced up startled into a blackened sky when water dripped on his nose.

Eyes widening, he quickly raised his hands into a transportation seal, but his chakra sputtered and failed to heed his summons. Swinging towards the crumpled beauty watching with half-lidded eyes, Kabuto leaped towards her, determined to take her with him even as he heard the whisper of his death.

**"_Kirin!"_**

Hinata threw her arms over her head when the world exploded in a flash of searing light, her cry lost beneath the anguished scream of another. Heat washed over her, sizzling and snapping against the thunderous crash of thunder and stone. Sharp licks of fire nicked her body, but she remained curled and shaking until the roar of thunder subsided into spewing dust and rain.

_Rain? _Inching her arms away, she tilted her face up to the soft drizzle pattering down upon her like gentle motherly kisses. _How did…when did…._

Her ears rung too loudly to hear anything and a swift glance with wide open eyes confirmed she was once more shrouded in complete darkness. There were no tenketsu to draw her focus and her heart faltered with possibility.

"Sasuke?" she called hesitantly. Did he really bring the entire ceiling down upon them?

Forcing herself to uncurl from the pain still thrumming through her body, she swallowed and strengthened her voice. "Sasuke!"

Stone shifted, sliding gently before stilling again and she swung her head towards the sound. Gritting her teeth, she patted the ground around her and curled her fingers over uneven rock, slowly dragging herself over the rubble. It would not end like this. Not if she had anything to say about it. She did not survive against all odds to lose everything now!

Slumping over a jagged piece, she panted harshly between a wheeze and a whimper, eyes scouring the blackness. Had it only been temporary? An explosion of chakra caused by adrenaline and fear that allowed her to see before?

Stone sifted again, closer than before and she pulled herself over the block in her way. Tumbling down the other side, she collapsed in a heap and gasped for breath, curling her fingers in the debris beneath her.

_I will not die here!_

Forcing her protesting body to obey, she lifted her head and froze. A faint glow beckoned her, a lamp hidden in the mist and she dazedly reached towards it, fingers slipping through the intangible. Riveted on that flickering light, she dragged herself up jagged rock slickened by her own blood, ever reaching forward until at last, she grasped the luminance within her bare hand.

Curling fingers tightly around his limp warmth, Hinata slumped against the wreckage, too weak to even care about the cool drizzling rain soaking her through. Tears streamed freely from her eyes and she felt she could finally rest, if only beside him.

"Don't leave me," she whispered and on the fading vestiges of consciousness, she felt his fingers grasp her own.

***

Everyone froze when the ground forcefully shuddered.

Sakura latched onto the two men beside her, verdant eyes staring wide into the darkness. "What was that?"

"Sasuke." Kakashi grabbed her arm and swung her up onto his back, ignoring her startled shriek. "Let's move!"

Neji sprinted into the darkness on point, Kakashi hot on his heels. Their search had continued to be futile with no sign of Hinata anywhere to be found. There could only be one other place to find her and that was with Kabuto himself, but judging from the force of that explosion….

Shaking his head, Neji veered to the right.

"This isn't the way we came," Kakashi said.

"The seals released. I can see Naruto up ahead," he threw back. That was a good sign, right? It meant whoever placed the seals in the first place no longer had the strength to hold them.

Skidding into the next hall, he nearly slammed into Naruto who jumped back with a yelp.

"Sweet Hokage, Neji! A little warning next time!"

Sakura struggled to get down and Kakashi let her slip down his back. She quickly scurried over to her fiancé, running her hands over his body to check for injuries.

Naruto grabbed her wrists firmly. "I'm fine, Sakura. Save your chakra. Sasuke went ahead of me but the tunnel caved a few minutes ago. We need to find another way in."

"This way," Neji sprinted off into the darkness. "I see two chakra signatures, but they're faint."

Naruto kneeled for Sakura to climb on his back, grasping her securely beneath her knees. "Where's Hinata?"

"With Kabuto, we think," Sakura said, cinching her arms tightly around him when he leaped into a breakneck speed. Digging her face into the back of his neck, she tried to sigh out the anxiety that had been steadily building the longer they failed to locate Hinata. Could she have been wrong about the corpse?

A gentle squeeze on her thigh broke her deviant slide into doubt. "If we can't find another opening, you might have to make one for us."

"Only as a last resort," she conceded. "After that last explosion, I don't know how stable these tunnels will be."

He squeezed her thigh again and she smiled, nuzzling back into his neck. "I'm glad you're okay," she whispered.

She could fairly hear the grin in his voice as his thumb caressed bare skin. "You can show me how glad when we get home."

Neji stopped so abruptly Kakashi and Naruto nearly collided with him. Splaying his hands over a slab of rock, he cursed. "This used to be a doorway."

"Let me down, Naruto." Sakura wiggled off his back and joined Neji. Trailing searching hands over the dimensions of the blocked entrance, she silently calculated the consequences of using force.

"How far away are those chakra signatures?"

Neji narrowed his eyes on the wall. "On the far side of the room."

Sakura nodded and took two steps back. "Get ready to move fast. This might not stay open for long."

Chakra surged into her fist, and with a guttural yell, she punched the rock. Granite exploded outward and a strong arm seized her around the waist, winging her through the dangerous shrapnel before she could even think of moving herself. Her feet gently touched the ground and she looked up into the amused eyes of her ex-sensei, barely registering the fact that she could see again.

"Always so dramatic, Sakura-chan," he smiled.

She elbowed him sharply, satisfied with the undignified oomph to compensate for the smile she couldn't keep from twitching her lips. "Ne, I learned from the best, Kaka-sensei."

"You okay, Sakura-chan?"

Kakashi relinquished the pink-haired medic to her concerned fiancé and glanced around the room. The ceiling had caved in, baring the underground to the open night sky. A cleansing rain pooled water into tiny streams clotted with dust and blood.

_Sasuke always did have style, _he mused.

"Hinata!"

They all turned sharply to see Neji scramble over rock and disappear behind a heap of rubble. Dropping beside his cousin's still body, he gently worked his hands beneath her, turning her over into his arms. Blood caked her head and hands, one latched firmly onto another sticking out from beneath the rubble, unwilling to let go even in the cold clutches of oblivion.

Brushing soaked tresses away, he tenderly stroked her cheek and willed her to open her eyes, to prove they hadn't come too late. The glow of healing chakra flared in the corner of his sight and he turned anxiously to watch Sakura.

The intense frown of concentration on her face eased only slightly. "Torn tissue and muscles…the concussion may be the worst of it. Try to wake her up if you can."

"Sasuke."

They both froze at the soft whisper and bleary lavender eyes cracked open before slipping closed again.

Neji jerked his head towards the hand Hinata clutched and Sakura sucked in her breath. "Kakashi! Naruto! Move these rocks!

The two materialized beside her instantly and started shifting the debris.

"You better move Hinata away," Sakura said.

"I can't. They won't let go."

Verdant eyes softened and she nodded once before applying her inhuman strength to digging out their teammate.

Curling Hinata against his chest, Neji nuzzled his face into her dripping hair and breathed out his relief. "It's going to be alright, Hinata," he whispered. "I've got you."

Sakura braced a precariously balanced slab as Naruto and Kakashi heaved another away, baring the stark white face of their comrade. Heaving the slab aside, Sakura dropped into the crevasse and inhaled sharply.

_There's so much blood. _He was practically bathed in it. A broken blade protruded from his torso, failing to hold much of his lifeblood in but just enough, she hoped, to keep him alive. Carefully closing her hand around the blade, she poured chakra into the wound, cauterizing the blood vessels as she slowly pulled the blade free.

Once free of his body, she flung it away with a little more force than necessary and pressed both hands to the gaping wound. "Don't you die on me now, Sasuke!"

Naruto kneeled above her, watching wide-eye as her hands flared brightly. "How bad is he?"

"He's lost a lot of blood," she murmured in a daze. "The blade nicked his spleen. Internal bleeding and burns…." Her eyes flickered to his. "It's bad."

Azure eyes turned grimly to the frail woman clutched in Neji's arms. "He'll make it." He had to, because he couldn't conceive telling Hinata otherwise.

"I'll stop up the bleeding best I can, but until we get him back to Konoha…." Sakura sighed when she finished bandaging his midsection and wiped a bloody hand across her forehead. "Okay, try not to jostle him too much."

Sinking down into the crevasse, Naruto worked his hands under his shoulders, hesitating when Sasuke's fingers remained locked around Hinata's. Closing his hand over theirs, Naruto leaned down beside Sasuke's head. "It's okay to let go, Sasuke. We're taking you home, both of you. She'll be there when you wake up, dattebayo."

Fingers twitched and finally went limp and Naruto shot Sakura a small grin. "Oh yeah, he'll make it."

Sakura helped ease Sasuke onto Naruto's back and shot a questioning glance at Neji.

"She's still out," he said, lifting Hinata carefully in his arms.

"That's probably best," Sakura said.

Naruto looked around the ruins and frowned. "Where's Kakashi?"

The three glanced around and Sakura pointed at the silver tuff of hair poking above a pile of debris. "Over there." Hopping up higher, she opened her mouth to call him, and hesitated.

The copy-nin kneeled in the debris, arms propped on his knees as he eyed a scorched body.

"She really did a number on you, didn't she?" he murmured.

Golden eyes shifted to focus on him, a sneer twisting mutated lips.

"You might've been able to survive _Kirin_ with your Secret Healing Wound Destruction technique…if Hinata-chan hadn't cut off your chakra." Kakashi stroked his chin. "The funny thing is Hinata was never able to see tenketsu before you got a hold of her."

Kabuto's eyes widened, struggling to breathe through scalded lungs. Brandishing a kunai, Kakashi smiled. "Guess you wrote your own destiny after all."

Glancing away from the finishing blow, Sakura met somber blue and silver eyes. "Let's get them home."

* * *

**Ingrid-** "But women produce new eggs every month, how could whatever Kabuto did be permanent if he didn't make the female equivalent of sterilization?"

The current scientific understanding regarding ova in higher mammals (like humans) is that the females are born with a set amount of ova in their ovaries. They do_ not_ produce more after they are born. Once a woman hits maturity, then her ovaries_ release_ an egg every month or so (not everyone has an exact 30 day cycle), but they do not form new ones. At this point only Kabuto knows if he took Hinata's ovaries (which he threatened to do) or only some of the ova.

Whew! It was not easy writing a Kabuto/Orochimaru personality. Hope I hit it pretty close at least. Thanks for all of your lovely reviews and see you in a couple weeks! Only three more chapters to go!


	29. in Grief

**Disclaimer: **The world of Naruto and its characters belong to the genius of Kishimoto, obviously.

Enjoy!

**_Ikigai_**

**in Grief**

**Chapter 29**

A groan tore from his raw throat and almost immediately something small and plastic poked between his lips. Drawing in a breath to spit it out, cold liquid surged into his mouth, numbing and soothing swollen glands. He sucked greedily until nothing but air slipped through.

The straw pulled away and Sasuke cracked an eye open to glare at the pink blur responsible.

"Nice to see you haven't lost your charming nature," Sakura murmured. Refilling the cup, she brought it back to his lips and let him drink until he pulled away. A second obsidian eye opened to join the first and her face finally came into focus.

"How long?" he rasped.

"Two days. You had some internal bleeding, multiple st—."

"Hinata?"

Verdant eyes softened and shifted to the left. Gritting his teeth, Sasuke turned his head to follow her gaze. In the bed beside him, Hinata slept curled on her side, loose fists tucked beneath her chin. Before he could even think of moving, a firm hand on his shoulder pressed him into the pillows.

"Don't even think about getting up." Sakura glared at him. "I burned myself out putting you back together and you are _not_ going to rip open your stitches. I will tie you to this bed if I have to, got it?"

He eyed her speculatively and a sudden smile wiped away her threatening glare. "You don't want Hinata to worry, do you?"

_Crap._ Fixating on the pixie face serene in repose, Sasuke sighed and resigned himself to an extended sabbatical.

Nodding satisfaction, Sakura rolled the blanket down to check his bandages. "You really cut it close this time, Sasuke."

He grunted, visually tracing Hinata's features as he longed to do with his hands. She really was here, wasn't she?

"How is she?"

Agile fingers hesitated before continuing their investigation. "She had a concussion and some cuts and scrapes. Nothing as bad as you."

Catching her hands, Sasuke willed her to look at him.

"Sakura."

Wincing, she glanced up, but couldn't hold his gaze. "Kabuto…removed one of her ovaries. The surgery was too recent and when she took a hit," her shoulders slumped, "the other one ruptured."

He stopped breathing and if not for the pain pulsing through his body, he might never have started again. There'd been no bruises marring her silken skin, no hint of abuse or torture. He was so relieved just to see her again, he'd never thought….

Sasuke swallowed. "Can she…will she be able to…."

"It's too soon to tell." She slowly pulled her hands from his limp grasp. "We did everything we could, but the reproductive system is very sensitive. She won't live with any pain, but…."

_She might never have children._ The unspoken was deafening in the silence.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, plucking idly at his bandages. "If there was mor—."

"Does she know?"

Sakura sighed. "She knew before we told her."

Obsidian eyes narrowed sharply. So that was his game. If Kabuto couldn't have her, he'd have the potential of her genetics. _Am I really so different? _His stomach roiled at the bare-faced similarity. She'd been nothing but a means to an end to him too, at first. He'd wanted something and he took it, not caring what it meant to her and even still, he couldn't give her up if he tried.

Rolling his head on the pillow, he stared at her sweet face so childlike and innocent. One wouldn't suspect the ferocity and strength hidden in her tiny form by a mere glance. He'd been just as startled as Kabuto when she not only broke herself free but managed to dodge the entire gamut of triggered traps and _still_ come out fighting. She gave him enough time to harness the malevolent chakra overwhelming his body for his ultimate attack, but at such sacrifice.

Never again was he going to sit by and watch her fight tooth and claw for her life if he had anything to say about it. He should've covered his tracks better, should've been prepared for the seal to activate, should've…should've done _something_ to protect her from this.

Warmth covered him over and he looked up as Sakura straightened the blanket and patted him lightly on his chest, mindful of his injuries. "Everything looks good. I imagine you'll be out of here in a couple days, but no missions for awhile."

Scooting off the bed, she picked up his chart and scribbled a few notes. "Hinata will be signed out tomorrow. Neji said he'd stay with her until you got out, so there's no need to worry." Slipping the chart back into the box on the end of his bed, she braced a fist on her hip and smirked. "Not that there is anything left _to _worry about. Try to get some rest, okay? Naruto will no doubt be in to bug you soon and Tsunade-sama still wants your version on the mission."

With a jaunty wave, she left him to frown at her bizarre mood shift. _Nothing left to…ah. _So it was done. One could always count on Team 7 to be more than thorough. Kakashi wouldn't have overlooked anything this time and yet somehow, that did little to comfort him.

In the lulling quiet of the room, Sasuke turned back to the bed beside him. _Kabuto is dead, but the damage is done._ He should've been furious, murderous even, but all he felt was…depleted. No amount of rage or skill was going to fix this.

Glancing quickly at the door to make sure his bossy medic wasn't about to pop back in, he clenched his teeth and pushed himself up. What had once been a dull, bearable ache speared upwards right into his lungs. Gasping sharply, he clutched his ribcage but refused to retreat. He wanted to do this, needed to do this….

"What are you doing?"

Flinching at being caught, Sasuke looked at the door to find it still closed. _What the…?_

Glimpsing movement from the corner of his eye, he turned to see Hinata pushing her blankets back. His eyes immediately fixed on the pair of long, slender legs reaching for the floor. She was a short woman. Where'd she get legs like that?

Tiny feet found purchase on the cold tile and he dragged his eyes away from the smooth bare flesh to catch on the hand cradling her abdomen. What lay hidden in slumber was blatant in wakefulness and the guilt he'd come to loath settled firm as a rock in his gut.

Hinata padded over to him and gently grasped his shoulders. "You shouldn't move around so much. You'll tear your stitches."

Curling his fingers around her wrists, he leaned his forehead against hers and just breathed. She stiffened but didn't pull away and he cursed himself and every other name he could think of. Not but a week ago she'd been melting in his arms but now…now when he had failed her in the worst way….

"Sasuke-kun, please lay down," she whispered and he clamped down hard on the oaths determined to escape his lips. _Back to the honorific._ _At least it isn't –san or worse, -sama._ He'd personally hand himself over to the Hyuuga clan if she did that.

The pain was making it harder and harder to breathe, so he conceded and let her guide him back to the pillows, but when she tried to pull her hands away he refused to let go. Nothing short of an apocalypse was going to get him to let go, and even then….

"Sasuke-ku—."

"Stay with me."

A faint dusting of pink shadowed her face and the tiniest bit of relief nipped at the guilt squeezing his heart. She wasn't immune to him any more than he was to her. There was hope there and that was something he'd learned to never let go of.

When she looked about ready to resist, he tugged her closer. "Please."

Her resistance crumbled and she hesitantly nodded. He let her pull her hands away, grazing his fingers over every inch, and reveled in the renewed color in her cheeks. She reached for the blanket and he shifted to the far left of the bed, biting down a pained grunt. The sight of exposed thighs when her gown hitched up was well worth the pain, but briefly enjoyed when she quickly pulled the covers over her.

She sat awkwardly, fiddling with the edge of the blanket and a smile quirked his lips. If he gave her enough time, she would insist on returning to her own bed, but he wasn't about to make that mistake.

Stretching his arm out behind her, he laid his hand flat on her back and ignored her flinch. "Come here."

"Demo, y-your injury—."

"Hinata."

Her mouth clamped shut and after a moment of deliberation while his thumb caressed the curve of her spine, she stiffly turned on her side and gingerly laid her head on his shoulder as if she were afraid of breaking him.

Cinching his arm around her waist, he pulled her snuggly against him and buried his other hand in her hair before she could try to pull away.

"Sasuke-kun!"

"Stop worrying so much," he muttered, relaxing with each breath of her herbal-lavender scent. Kami, it felt so good to hold her again. Had it really only been a week? In the end, it didn't really matter. They were both alive and they were together. What more could he ask for?

_A miracle, to give her back what was taken._

He idly dragged his fingers through her hair, lightly scraping her skin with dull nails. When she finally started to relax, he wiggled his thumb through the tiniest gap in the back of her gown until it met warm flesh. She stiffened on contact, but he just continued to gently massage her scalp until she was boneless against him.

There were so many things he wanted to say, things to make it right, but the words strangled and died in his throat. _I'm sorry. Forgive me._

… _I love you._

If it was that simple, Kami, if only it was that simple.

He fought the urge to crush her against him in an irrational attempt to make her one with him, to ensure he'd never risk losing her again. Not even making her a prisoner in his home would've prevented this, not that he could do that to her. One look into those moon-bright eyes was all it took to bring him to his knees.

Foolishness? Weakness? Maybe so. But here he was, alive, with her, and nothing but ash remained of the men who'd tried to change that. It would seem Naruto had been right all along. In the end, the spirit was always stronger than the sword…as long as you had something worth fighting for.

No, something worth _living _for.

Pulling Hinata a smidge closer, Sasuke buried his nose in her hair and sighed.

_I'm going to fix this, somehow._

***

Hearing his breathing ease, Hinata slowly flattened her hand on his chest and inched it across the smooth skin to cover his heart. It thundered beneath her touch; steady, strong, unstoppable. Just like him.

Kabuto's words never stopped ringing in her ears even under surgical anesthetics.

"_Would he still want you then, barren and useless?"_

She hadn't had time to give it much thought. Even after getting out of surgery, Sasuke's condition had still been critical. Apparently, he and Kabuto had been fighting a long time before she regained consciousness. Neji told her the large chamber had been reduced to rubble, no doubt from the explosive power of their jutsus and summons. It'd given Sasuke the advantage in the end, enabling him to draw from the exposed elements of nature to defeat the medic-nin. Her eyes still ached from the explosion of chakra.

There was that too. Between the rush to return to Konoha, Sasuke's surgery and hers, waiting with baited breath for him to wake up…she'd completely forgotten to tell someone. No one had asked her either what had happened in that chamber. What could a blind woman possibly add to the report after all?

Neji was probably beginning to suspect something though. She kept staring at his eyes. It was impossible not to. They were so _brilliant_. Kakashi's left eye was even brighter because of the ever-active Sharingan. There was a dull concentration behind Naruto's eyes too that probably activated when he accessed the Kyuubi's chakra. Sakura was harder to pin, but there was a large concentration of chakra in her forehead so she could make a fairly accurate guess as to where her eyes were.

She'd thought it'd been an instinctive activation of her Byakugan in reaction to the situation, but waking up from surgery to find myriads of dots moving about in the shape of people and no one asking her why or how she'd activated her bloodline limit proved otherwise.

Some people were more distinct than others, like Neji and Naruto. They radiated chakra like sunbeams and it'd been painful at first, but her eyes had adjusted, much as they had the first time she'd used her Byakugan at night when she was a child. Of course, she learned very quickly when she stubbed her toe on the way to the bathroom that anything lacking chakra remained invisible to her.

Curling her fingers slightly, she idly traced around the individual tenketsu of Sasuke's chest. For the most part, people were blurs of light, but with some concentration she could separate the one from the many. Practicing this had kept her mind off of the inevitable…at least until he woke up and requested her presence in his bed.

He didn't know, couldn't know, because he still held her like he wanted her. Whatever affection they held for each other had been built on the foundation of one purpose: rebuilding the Uchiha Clan.

She had no doubt Sakura and the Hokage had made exemplary repairs to her remaining ovary, but the trauma had been severe, tearing the walls of her fallopian tubes and uterus. She could live her whole life without ever bearing, or she might bear one and lose it in childbirth. One could hardly restore a clan on possibilities, especially dubious ones.

Dragging her fingers across his chest, Hinata looked up into the cluster of luminance shaping his eyes. Even inactive, his chakra was nearly blinding in its intensity, a beacon in a choking fog of shadows. She would follow him anywhere, do anything for him, but the one thing he wanted most had been stripped from her reach.

Tears gathered in her eyes, but warm fingers curled beneath her chin before she could bury her face in his chest. Her head tilted up unresisting and she felt his scrutiny burn through her.

"You can see me."

The tinge of surprise and something more, something she dare not put a name to, coated his husky voice.

Swallowing back her heartache, she offered a tremulous smile. "J-Just your chakra, demo, there's a lot of it in your eyes."

She felt him turn introspective, his thumb absently caressing the side of her jaw and she leaned into it ever so slightly. Every touch, every caress, she would savor because soon he would know and only memory would be left to comfort her.

"You didn't tell Sakura."

_He sounds so certain._ "No," she admitted with a frown.

His amusement at her bewilderment nearly made her huff.

"She would've told me," he finally explained and her annoyance evaporated into a cold mist.

Yes, Sakura would have, and she would've left nothing out.

She hadn't pulled away more than an inch when a wave of displeasure washed over her. His arm tightened just short of painful and pulled her back against him.

"Where are you going?"

"Ano, I-I need to u-use the bathroom."

He stilled beneath her, muscles tense.

"You're lying."

The need to flee surged up and swallowed her and she strained ineffectually against his hold.

"P-please." Her voice cracked with restrained emotion and he stiffened. Reluctantly his arms loosened and she shoved herself away. Bare feet hit the floor with a slap and she nearly ran to the bathroom, closing the door tightly behind her. Staggering to the far wall, she sunk to the ground and buried her face in her knees.

All was lost and there was no getting it back.

***

Sasuke glared at the door, willing it and everything else separating him from Hinata to burst into flames. It did nothing to stifle her broken sobs. She'd known, even before Sakura's examination, what Kabuto had taken from her.

For her entire life only one thing gave her value, the ability to pass on her superior genetics and birth powerful children. No doubt that's what Kabuto taunted her with and perhaps, at one time, it would've been true. And maybe, if she hadn't fought so hard against an unbreakable genjutsu, if she hadn't struggled so fiercely to walk, to fight, to _live_, it might have stayed that way.

He needed her like the desert needed water and nothing was going to change that. For better or worse she was stuck with him and if it took him the rest of his natural life, he was going to make sure she knew it with every fiber of her being.

Pushing the blanket away, Sasuke dropped his legs over the side of the bed and gasped sharply. When did people become obsessed with skewering him like dango? Slipping off the edge, he nearly crumpled when his feet hit the floor and a wave of pain reverberated through his body. With a white knuckle grip on the bed beside him, he inched his way towards the bathroom, pausing at the end of the bed to catch his breath.

The door taunted him, concealing Hinata but not her weeping, so close and yet so achingly far. If Kabuto were still alive, he'd trap him in an endless genjutsu and torture him one year for every tear, every taunt, every minute of her happiness lost. And when he was done, he would do it all over again.

Gathering his strength to leave the support of the bed behind, Sasuke made to take his first step into open space when the hallway door slid open. Snapping his head to the left, he froze under the curious scrutiny of azure eyes.

Sliding the door shut behind him, Naruto glanced at the bathroom door and then back at him. "If Sakura-chan catches you out of bed, she'll break both your legs," he said.

Sasuke glared and silently dared him to get in his way, but Naruto merely strode past him and slid his bouquet of flowers into one of the vases on the small table between the two beds.

Glancing once more at the much hated bathroom door, Sasuke's resolve crumbled. She ran from him, practically threw herself off the bed to get away. Going to her now would probably only make it worse.

Shoulders slumping, he carefully turned himself around and edge back into his bed.

"Need help?"

"Shut up."

Naruto grinned and plopped himself onto Hinata's bed. For all of Sasuke's signature grumpiness, it was more than obvious the man was in serious pain. "Obaa-chan been in to question you yet?"

"Just woke up," Sasuke grunted.

Cerulean eyes drifted towards the bathroom door and then back. "How much do you remember?"

Dark brows furrowed in thought. "After the curse seal activated, everything kind of blurred. Hinata," he hesitated and glanced at the door, "did something and…." He shook his head, trying to clear the cobwebs. "I used _Kirin_, but that's all I remember."

Naruto grinned. "She kicked his half-snake butt is what she did. Kakashi said most of his chakra had been cut off and it prevented him from using his healing technique. We still don't know how she managed it."

A smile tugged at Sasuke's lips, pride filling the hole left by her pain. Hinata always had been and always would be a true shinobi.

"She can see chakra."

Blue eyes widened. "She used her Byakugan?"

Sasuke shook his head and winced. "She thought so too, but it hasn't gone away. You should tell Sakura. If she's constantly drawing on her chakra like Kakashi's Sharingan does…"

Naruto nodded. "I'll tell her."

Sinking further back into his pillows, Sasuke glanced at the bathroom again. The strangled cries were becoming more sporadic.

"She hasn't…dealt with it," Naruto murmured and obsidian eyes locked on him. "Until now. She was too worried about you."

"Sakura thinks—."

"Yeah, I know." He didn't apologize like Sakura did, didn't need to. They were empty words and had no place between brothers.

A semi-comfortable silence fell over them, broken only by the weeping steadily fading away. Naruto idly poked the flowers he brought, scattering fragrance into the sterile room.

"Why'd you bring flowers anyway," Sasuke asked. "It's not like she can see them."

"They're lilacs, you moron," Naruto scowled at him. "Hinata happens to love the scent." A foxy grin morphed his features. "You _do _know what her favorite flowers are, don't you?"

He wanted to say lavender, but he couldn't be sure if she grew so much of it because it was her favorite or because it countered the pungent smells of other herbs. So he settled on glowering at the blonde.

"Do you know Sakura's?"

"Daffodils."

Sasuke scoffed. "Figures it would be something yellow."

"Jealous?" Naruto grinned.

"In your dreams."

"Don't flatter yourself, chicken-head. I never dream about you."

Sasuke fought the twitch of his lips and ended up grimacing instead of smiling.

Tilting his head slightly, Naruto's grin faded. "Sounds like she stopped."

They listened in silence for a few more breaths before Naruto slid off the bed. Sidling up to the door, he knocked softly, acutely aware of the dark eyes boring into his back.

"Hinata-chan?"

With no reply, he reached for the handle. "I'm coming in, okay?" When no shriek or protest came, he opened the door and peeked around it. Relief cascaded over him to find her still clothed in her hospital gown and he silently crossed the room and kneeled beside her.

Exhaustion had taken her, damp streaks still marking the recent passage of tears down her porcelain face. He didn't have to guess as to why the dam of emotion broke now. The reason was waiting for him in the other room. With the continued existence of one of the most powerful Clans in Konoha depending entirely on her…well that was an awful lot of pressure for one woman to bear. And now….

Slipping his arm around her shoulders, he leaned her against his chest and scooped her up. If he dwindled any longer, Sasuke was bound to get out of bed again and as much as he'd enjoy watching Sakura tan his hide, now just wasn't the time for it.

Striding back into the hospital room, he carefully deposited Hinata back in her bed and tucked her in.

"She ought to sleep for awhile now. It'll be good for her," he said and Sasuke relaxed slightly, eyes riveted on her drained features.

"Yeah."

Scratching the back of his head, Naruto sighed. "Well, I'll let you two rest then. You'll probably get a lot of visitors tomorrow, so you'll need it."

Sasuke absently nodded and Naruto smiled. The man had it bad, but who was he to judge with his own pink-haired kunoichi lodged firmly in his heart? Pausing at the door, Naruto glanced back at his brother and friend.

"Hey, Sasuke."

Obsidian eyes dragged reluctantly away from Hinata to look at him and Naruto's smile widened.

"Find out what her favorite flower is."

* * *

*big watery eyes* You're all so cute and sweet and patient and forgiving and, and non-violent and, and… *sweat-drop* Okay, just don't hurt the hands. Kind of need those for typing. Two more chapters to go and it's not over until the Ramen stand closes.


	30. in Love

**A/N- **Two new fanarts have been added to the Ikigai collection by **MaliaNyla** and **Not-Anonymous. **Find the links in my profile or go to the Ikigai section in my deviantart favorites.

My hands have survived the latest gauntlet of reviews and exasperated fans, so here is the next chapter. Adult situations are implied, but the rating will remain T.

**Disclaimer: **The Naruto-verse belongs to Kishimoto of course.

Enjoy!

**_Ikigai_**

**in Love**

**Chapter 30**

"What's her favorite flower?"

Bemused silver eyes met obsidian. "What?"

Sasuke looked away, fixating on Hinata conversing with Naruto in her garden. Sakura kept him in the hospital for two more days after her release. She'd visited him of course, as any dutiful wife would, but the veneer of forced cheer was seriously beginning to annoy him. Granted they couldn't really discuss the issue with her cousin present, but seeing her struggle so hard to pretend that nothing was wrong….

This false happiness, this composure of hers was even more disturbing than her tears. At least those weren't a lie. He wanted her to scream and rail at the world, at him, at anyone. Locking it inside and hiding it wasn't going to make it go away. It would fester and boil into something ugly, leaching away at her soul until she became an empty shell. He more than anyone knew what that felt like. He'd welcomed it once, cultivated and cherished it until it became his sustenance, pushing everyone away who might try to free him from its manacles.

Hinata deserved better than that.

Naruto's words continued to plague him even these four days later. He knew Hinata could sip tea without making the slightest sound. He knew she could sense his presence before he even entered the house. He knew the smile on her face when she worked in her garden or made her balms. He knew the smell of her hair, the touch of her skin, the way she sighed when he kissed her….

Then there were so many things he didn't know. Her favorite flowers, her favorite food, her favorite book, what kind of music she liked, why did she become a medic, had she _ever _been creeped out by Shino's bugs, and why, _why_ wouldn't she talk to him?

Tonight, when they would finally be left alone for the first time since her release, she was going to turn away from him again. He was certain of that, just as he was certain that he wouldn't let her.

But before then, he needed to know one thing.

"What's Hinata's favorite flower?"

Neji followed his gaze. "I really don't know."

_Oh, for the love of…. _

"You're her cousin and you don't know?"

A slender brow arched. "_You_ are her _husband._"

Sasuke grimaced and rubbed his temples. He'd already asked Shino and Kiba when they'd popped in the day after he woke up to see Hinata home and they hadn't known either. Why was it so blasted hard to find out the favorite flower of one woman?

Feeling amusement radiate off the man seated beside him on the porch, Sasuke squashed the urge to slug him. _Maybe when my wounds are healed._

"You want some advice?"

"No."

Neji's amusement kicked up a notch. "Just tell her you love her."

Stiffening, Sasuke glared through his bangs at the man beside him, but the effect was lost since Neji was watching Hinata and Naruto pull weeds.

"If I suspected even for an instant that you'd turn her away for this," silver eyes slid towards him, "you never would have left that hospital."

Dropping his hand, Sasuke stared at his wife laughing at Naruto's overly zealous antics. It was free and untainted, comforting in its soft cadences.

"You don't deserve her, but you need her."

Sasuke grunted. Was he really so easy to read? Or maybe the Hyuuga was just speaking from personal experience. His protectiveness of Hinata border lined outright paranoia, but he supposed if he'd spent two years thinking she was dead and then found out she wasn't he'd be just as bad.

"The fallout on this from your Clan…."

"It's already been taken care of," Neji said grimly. "They can whisper all they want, but none of it will reach her ears." The consequences would be dire if it did.

"She'll still know."

"Only certain opinions matter to her. Don't wait to make yours clear."

Sasuke glared. "Are you ever going to get tired of threatening me?"

Silver eyes flashed. "No."

"It's going to lose its charm eventually," he said dryly.

"You really shouldn't flirt with me, Sasuke," Neji smirked. "Hinata will get jealous."

The Hyuuga was gone in a flash before Sasuke even brought his fist around.

***

"Neji and Sasuke seem to be getting along," Naruto murmured.

Hinata's smile slipped slightly. "I'm glad."

_Fix it, baka! Fix it fast!_

"Shino said you've started making your balms again. Is there a waiting list yet?"

She laughed softly, eyes sparkling. "Yes, but I can make an exception for you."

"You're the best, Hinata! That stuff is amazing! Although," he tapped his chin, "if Sakura-chan finds out I managed to get some, she might try to steal it from me."

"I think I can make enough for both of you." Her cheeks pinkened. "Call it an early wedding present."

Naruto chuckled and scratched the back of his neck. "Aw, you don't have to do that, Hinata-chan."

"I want to."

Staring into her bright eyes, who was he to argue? Besides, it _was _Hinata's village famous healing balm. Only an idiot would turn that down.

"Did she talk to you about that yet? We finally picked a date and she wanted your help with the arrangements, something about clashing fragrances?"

Hinata giggled and nodded. "Yes. She's coming over tomorrow to work out some more details."

"Cool."

A breeze drifted over them and both looked up at Neji.

"It's time to go, Naruto."

Wiping his hands on his pants, the future Hokage helped Hinata to her feet.

"Ano, do you two want to stay for dinner?" she asked, squeezing Naruto's hand a little harder than necessary.

"Wish I could, Hinata, but Sakura gets off her shift soon and I promised to take her out."

Hopeful lavender eyes turned to Neji and both men swallowed hard. She was so desperate to keep them there, to postpone the inevitable.

"I have a briefing in half an hour," Neji said, carefully concealing his regret. It was painful to watch hope die in her eyes, but this was for the best. He couldn't protect her forever. That was Sasuke's job now and the man was more than qualified for it. There was something about needing a woman that made you try that much harder to keep her safe and make her happy. When your entire world revolved around her smiles, laughter, and tears nothing was above or beneath you.

She quickly pasted on a smile. "I'll walk you to the door."

"Later, Sasuke," Naruto waved over his shoulder as she led them back into the house.

The Uchiha grunted but managed to half-heartedly lift his hand in return.

Naruto shot Neji an amused glance when they entered the house. "You pissed him off, didn't you?"

Silver eyes glittered. "Not my fault he decided to play the field."

Naruto choked and Hinata grabbed his arm, patting him on the back while glaring at her cousin. The absence of red in her cheeks assured him she didn't have a clue what they were talking about though it might've had amusing results if she did. Imagining Sasuke trying to explain _that _to her nearly made him join Naruto.

Coughing sharply into his hand, he slid the front door open and nearly dived outside. It wouldn't do for Hinata to see him die from hilarity.

"Ano, thank you for bringing him home, Naruto-kun."

Finally catching his breath, Naruto grinned at her. "Any time Hinata-chan."

"And please be careful on your mission, Neji-nii."

"Ah." He gently squeezed her shoulder then turned away. "Oyasumi."

"Oyasumi," she whispered and slowly closed the door.

Naruto's grin faded and he fell in step with Neji. "You think she'll be okay?"

Silver eyes slid to him and then away. "If an idiot like you can figure it out, so can Sasuke."

"Yeah, I gue—. Hey!"

***

"Will there be anything else, Hinata-sama?"

Hinata shook her head and smiled up at Nanami, grateful to have her maid wholly recovered and well. She was, after all, a stubborn Hyuuga.

"No, thank you. I'm just going to finish this and then go to bed."

Wise old eyes studied her upturned face. Her charge scarcely touched her dinner and her brooding husband hadn't even moved from his perch on the porch since the loud one and the Branch house heir had left. Still, despite her worries, it was not her place to interfere. Things would work out in their own way, in their own time as they were prone to do.

"Oyasumi, Hinata-sama."

"Goodnight, Nanami-san," Hinata smiled, turning back to her work.

She let time slip away, hoping when she finished this last batch, Sasuke would've turned in and fallen asleep. At one point, she felt him move about the house on his routine of locking up, but that had been an hour ago.

After wiping down her table and equipment, she returned everything to its place and made her silent ascent to the second floor. She felt like a thief, creeping about her own house, sneaking into her own room. But if he was awake, he'd want to talk and she couldn't bear to hear him patronize her with promises of maintaining her honored position as his wife but needing to forsake her place in his bed to a mistress capable of giving him the heirs he needed.

If he asked it of her, she would leave, but her heart and soul would remain. He'd taken them from her long ago.

A quick glance at their bed showed the outline of his chakra system stretched out in slumber and she breathed a quiet sigh of relief. Padding over to the closet, she grabbed a pair of silken pajamas and retreated to the bathroom to change.

It couldn't be avoided forever but she wanted just one night to pretend that nothing had changed, that she was still worthy of him, wanted by him, before she had to surrender him to another for the sake of the Clan.

Buttoning up her silky over-shirt, she ran a brush through her hair, rinsed her mouth, and ventured back into the room. One step through the door and her body froze under the focus of Sharingan eyes. The intensity of chakra focused into his active blood limit singed her vision and she felt the edges of reality slip away until only they remained.

"W-why?"

"You were going to run."

Even if she stubbornly denied it to herself, the words would never leave her lips.

"Come here."

A nudge in her mind forced her legs to move when she willed them not to. It was irresistible and soon she stood but an arms-length from him, trembling like a frightened puppy.

"Do your eyes hurt?"

_What?_

"Sakura said the chakra flow into your retina is greater than other Byakugan users."

Confused by his questioning, she tried to shrug but couldn't. "I feel fine."

"Good." He stood and gently grasped her wrists, turning her hands up to study her palms. How could one so deadly be so vulnerable and helpless at the same time? "Until Neji returns from his mission, your sister can help you with your training."

Some of the tension leaked out of her shoulders and he eased the grip of his hypnotism to allow the slight movement.

"Okay," she whispered.

Pleased with her acceptance, he slid his hands up her arms and onto her shoulders, pausing when she tensed again.

"Don't wait so long to tell someone next time," he softly chastised and her bright eyes dropped.

"Hai."

Feathering his fingers across her collarbone, he grasped the first button and slipped it loose. She stiffened instantly and he moved to the second, flicking it open as quick as the first.

"S-Sasuke-kun!"

He paused for a heartbeat before moving on to the next and the next. She shook against the strain of his jutsu, harsh breaths escaping her lungs by the time he slipped the shirt off her shoulders and dropped it on the floor. Feasting his eyes on the curves lovingly hugged by a silk camisole, Sasuke barely kept himself to the pace he'd set.

"Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?" he whispered. When the heaving of her bosom suddenly froze, he looked up into wide lavender eyes. She honestly didn't know and that only made it all the more true.

Smoothing his hands down the silk of her arms, he marveled at the contrast of her slender frame against his solid strength. It was no wonder Kabuto underestimated her to the loss of his life. She hardly looked capable of killing a spider let alone a man.

Slipping his arms around her petite body, he pulled her against him and deactivated his Sharingan. She gasped softly, hands quickly coming up to brace against his bare chest, but she didn't try to push away.

"S-Sasuke-kun…."

"Stop calling me that."

"Demo, y-your injuries…."

Catching one of her hands, he dragged it down his chest and watched the blush blossom in her cheeks, stopping when he reached the freshly healed skin.

"Not even a scar, Hinata," he murmured, wishing the same could be said for her. The invisible kind always took longer to heal.

Her fingers brushed searchingly over his skin and the crinkle in her brow faded with relief. Breathing out her worry, she smiled slightly. "I'm glad."

Pulling her closer, Sasuke gently kissed her forehead. "This isn't the first time and not the last that I'll come back injured," he murmured against her skin.

After a moment of deliberation, she melted against him. "I know." What was the point of fighting it? More than anything, she just wanted to be in his arms and pretend that he loved her for her and not because of what she could give him…what she could no longer give him.

His hand slipped beneath her camisole, thumb stroking across the indentation of her spine. _So far, so good. _When it felt as if she might fall asleep in his arms, he lowered his head and pressed a soft kiss to her shoulder. She tensed slightly and almost instantly relaxed, probably brushing off the touch in her dazed state.

With a smile curving his lips, he kissed her again and again, slowly trailing up the curve of her shoulder to her neck until she finally started to squirm.

Feeling the heat of a blush radiating off her skin, he pulled back slightly and waited for the inevitable protest.

"S-Sasuke-ku—."

He smothered the loathsome honorific on her lips and threaded his fingers through her hair to keep her from pulling away. A shiver rippled through him when her delicate nails scraped his chest as her fingers curled into fists and he braced himself for the struggle that never came. Instead she whimpered and he nearly came undone at the needy sound. Reluctantly breaking the kiss for a breath, he waited for her to open her eyes.

Glazed lavender flickered up and he smirked with satisfaction. _"Don't_ call me that."

Her eyes shifted back and forth before finally fixing on his, a faint light of determination forcing his heart to stutter.

"Sasuke-ku—."

He silenced her again and slender arms swept up around his neck, securing her against him. Her hunger mirrored his own; frantic, desperate, insatiable. Tender embraces were not going to douse this fire.

Wrapping his arms around her, Sasuke lifted her onto the bed and guided her down to the pillows without breaking the kiss. If he let her continue at this rate, all of his careful planning would be tossed to the wind, but he couldn't pull away until his lungs ached for air.

Burying his face in her neck, he firmly reared back his ardor. Hinata panted beneath him, each brush of her heaving chest against his threatening to unravel his fragile control. He'd waited for this, longed for it, dreamed of it for longer than he cared to admit and he was not going to ruin it by being hasty.

She clung to him like a limpet, clearly as overwhelmed as him, and if he wasn't mistaken, blushing bright as a ripe apple. Only his sweet Hinata would be embarrassed by her own passion.

Softly kissing her neck, Sasuke froze when the taste of salt exploded on his tongue. Lifting his head, he watched silver jewels slide down her cheeks, her eyes squeezed shut in a futile effort to stop them. He kissed them away, one by one until her eyes flickered open to meet his.

"Gom—."

He pressed his fingers to her lips to silence the inevitable apology. Having her compliance, he idly traced his index finger along her top lip and then the bottom.

"Do you know why I saved you the first time?"

Her slender brows dipped and she hesitantly shook her head.

"Because you wouldn't die." Tracing his finger down her throat, he drew a circle at the hollow and followed it with a kiss. "Do you know why I took care of you?"

Her breath hitched and she shook her head again.

"Because you wouldn't give up." Trailing a hand down her body, he slipped it under her camisole and pushed it up to bare her unmarred stomach. Sakura had done an exemplary job. Not even a scratch remained to tell of the surgery. He placed a soft kiss on the fresh skin and Hinata flinched.

"Do you know why I married you?"

A tear slipped down her cheek and she nodded jerkily. It had never been a secret between them.

Pressing another kiss on the other side of her belly, Sasuke crawled back up, lips hovering over hers. "Do you know why I love you?"

She stopped breathing, eyes wide and glistening with tears ready to fall.

"Because I can't live without you," he whispered. "And I'm not going to, so whatever idea you're concocting in that pretty little head of yours, I suggest you stop right now. Only one woman will ever sleep in my bed; you. Got it?"

Hinata hesitantly nodded.

Threading his fingers into her hair, he leaned his forehead against hers. "I still want to have children with you. Maybe our chances are slim to none, but that doesn't mean we can't keep trying. I'm not willing to give up. Are you?"

She wanted to laugh and cry and ended up doing both. He pulled her close and rolled onto his side, cradling her body as she shook with emotion too long withheld.

So maybe Neji had been right after all, but he'd never admit it to the smug prick. If Hinata needed blatant honesty, he'd give it to her and if he had to put his feelings into words more than once, well, he'd work on that. Maybe at least now, actions alone would be enough.

When her trembling began to subside, he pulled back to look at her, but she buried her face deeper into his chest. A smirk quirked his lips at the telling action and he tugged gently on one of her longer locks of hair.

"Ne, Hinata, you didn't give me an answer. Are you giving up?"

She shifted and squeaked unintelligibly.

"Is that a yes or a no?"

She forcefully shook her head and squeaked again.

"A yes?"

She abruptly lifted her head and he caught the hint of annoyance in her lavender eyes before he dove down and kissed her. She still tasted of salt and he knew it wouldn't be the last time. Nothing was going to be easy for them. There were going to be many nights when she would grieve for what she lost, what _they_ lost. There would probably be a few arguments too, words thrown carelessly but never fists. He'd welcome them all because they would end the same way; in this bed, in each other's arms.

Had he always known she was his future, maybe things would've been different. Maybe he wouldn't have walked the broken path, abandoned his village and friends for a lunatic Sannin, and slain his own murderous brother…but then, that'd be one more person left alive capable of stealing her away from him.

He growled at the thought and sensing his distress, Hinata deepened the kiss, scattering his thoughts to the wind.

What did it matter to think of 'what ifs' and 'could've beens?' She was here now, warm and willing and mewling like a kitten with cream. Rolling her onto her back, Sasuke pulled back with a gasp and marveled at her flushed features. How she managed to look wanton and innocent at the same time, he'd never know.

Her graceful hands reached up and cupped his face, lavender eyes shining like jewels as they focused sharply on his. The intensity threaded through her new vision still made his heart skip in place.

"I…I never want to stop trying," she whispered, pink faintly dusting her cheeks.

Eyes softening, he turned his head and kissed her palm. "We won't." Then he smirked. "But let me know if you get tired."

Crimson swept over her face, but she valiantly held his gaze. "I'm n-not the one who just got out of the hospital."

His smirk curved into a wicked grin. "Is that a challenge?"

"M-Maybe," she squeaked, looking anything but brave.

Chuckling softly, Sasuke dropped a kiss on her pert nose. "Perhaps another time."

She relaxed slightly and tilted her chin to receive a tender kiss that slowly and surely would become much more. Maybe it was his touch, maybe it was just _him_, but Hinata knew her thoughts would soon be lost to her.

Tugging gently on his hair, she gasped for breath when he finally parted from her and started paying homage to her throat.

"Sasuke," she whispered. "I love you too."

He froze and as seconds slid by without a response, she panicked. Did he doubt her? What if he thought she was only saying it because he did?

Swallowing hard, she closed her eyes and surrendered her closely guarded secret. "I loved you before…before I even knew you were…you."

Lifting his head, Sasuke stared wide-eyed at her guarded face. _Before she knew…._ Something unfurled in his chest, hesitancy and doubt retracting their claws from his soul and slipping silently away. All those nights he'd spent thinking of her, wanting her, and she had done the same. All his fears that she would turn him away…and she had already been his before he even came to claim her.

He kissed her softly and waited for her to open her eyes before kissing her again. "I don't deserve you," he said.

Her fingers feathered through his hair and caressed his cheek. "That's not true."

Sasuke smiled. "Only you would say that."

"Maybe no one else sees what I see."

Sliding his hand under her back, he lifted her up against him, smirking at her blush. "And what do you see?"

Wrapping her arms around him, Hinata touched her nose to his and stared into the cluster of pulsing chakra beaming back at her.

"Light."


	31. Infinitely

**A/N-** Please take your time reading this final chapter. There is quite a bit of detail that will leave you confused if you read too quickly.

**Disclaimer: **The world of _Naruto _and all its characters belong to Kishimoto.

Enjoy!

**_Ikigai_**

**Infinitely**

**Epilogue**

_If I can bear your love like a lamp before me,_

_When I go down the long steep Road of Darkness,_

_I shall not fear the everlasting shadows…. _

_-The Lamp by Sara Teasdale._

Cold flat stone stared back at him, generations of Uchihas reduced to ash and carvings in marble. In the chilled vault of the family mausoleum, everything suddenly seemed so pointless. Power only took one so far before someone younger, faster, and stronger took it away.

There was nothing honorable about the Uchiha Clan. Their history was ripe with blood and betrayal but because they were born with the ability to rip minds apart with the flicker of a glance, they were praised and worshiped. Strange, how something revered by the entire shinobi world could fall to silence in one single night by the hand of one of their own.

Maybe Itachi had seen it coming and only hastened the end. The Clan had never been kind, demanding more than one could give; succeed or die even by the hands of your own kin. There was no room for weakness in an Uchiha.

It'd taken him so long to see it.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

Sasuke glanced at the man standing beside him, more brother than his own had ever been. There was no one else he would rather have with him just then.

"I'm sure."

Naruto shuffled his feet. "Do you, I don't know, want to say any words or anything?"

Sasuke snorted. "It's all been said. Let's just get this over with."

Pulling a small square box from his pouch, he placed it in the niche. Kneeling down, he grabbed one side of the heavy marble plate and Naruto grabbed the other. Carefully fitting it into place, Naruto held it still while he activated the seals. Steam hissed from the cracks, locking it airtight.

Stepping back, Naruto eyed the name engraved into marble, the sole remnants of the man who turned Sasuke's world upside down. Scratching the back of his head, he finally lost the battle with curiosity and turned to his friend.

"I don't get it. I thought you hated him."

"I did."

"So why bury him in the family tomb?"

Shoving his hands in his pockets, Sasuke stared at the newly sealed niche. He'd actually forgotten he even still had his brother's ashes until Hinata stumbled upon the box. She'd made no specific suggestions as to what he should do with it, though he suspected she wasn't too pleased with finding a dead man's remains in their closet.

He almost chuckled at the memory. Her little nose had wrinkled in a faint show of pique and then she'd handed him the box and told him to find a better place to put the past to rest.

"He was still an Uchiha," he finally said. _Perhaps too much of one._

Blue eyes turned speculative. "You've forgiven him?"

"No." Turning his back on the marble plate, Sasuke stepped back into the tunnel. "I've forgiven myself."

Casting one last glance at the niche, Naruto smiled and hurried to follow. The transition from darkness to light took a moment of adjustment, but soon they both were standing topside again. Four men stood waiting, watching them with open interest until Sasuke gave the order they'd been hired for.

"Seal it."

Moving aside, the two shinobi looked away as the contractors began welding the steel doors shut on a history best forgotten. If Sasuke had his way, never again would anyone venture into the vault and learn the malevolent truth of the Sharingan. He would bury it under stone and dirt until time itself forgot all that lay within. They would regain the honor no one knew they'd lost and _that_ would be the legacy people remembered of the famed Uchiha Clan.

In a little over an hour, two feet of fresh dirt was raked over the three ton cover stone, leaving nothing but a bare patch of ground in the small field. It would be sown over with wildflowers, a tribute to the innocent who had no choice in the family they were born to.

The contractors left, their job done and only speculation to feed their curiosity. They wouldn't dare return to where they were not wanted. Shinobi Clans were notorious for booby trapping their crypts.

Naruto's hand clamped on his shoulder. "So it's done?"

"It's done."

"You okay?"

Tilting his head back, Sasuke stared at the puffy clouds in the afternoon sky. Had it really been two years since he'd been pinned to that tree, wavering on the brink of death, only to be pulled back by the memory of lavender eyes?

Itachi had insisted he would never be free of him but he was wrong. He'd learned something that day, something priceless, and somewhere in the darkest part of his soul, he thanked Itachi for opening his eyes. For that, and to put his own ghosts to rest, he gave his brother the burial first meant for him. He'd been his aniki after all, and that was the man he chose to remember.

"Sasuke?"

Meeting Naruto's inquisitive gaze, he smiled. "I'm okay."

Naruto grinned and thumped him on the back. "Let's go, ne?"

Without a backward glance, they left the circle of trees and strode through the Uchiha district towards the Main House. The original had been torn down, along with a number of other buildings falling into disrepair. One almost felt like they were strolling through the countryside when they were in fact in the middle of Konohagakure. It was like a curse had finally been lifted for one could not help but feel the peace and contentment saturating the area.

"You have the kids tonight," Sasuke said and Naruto scowled.

"Again? One I can handle, but the two together?"

"Sakura won't be home?"

"Obaa-chan has a bunch of last minute administrative stuff she wanted to go over with her before leaving for Suna."

"Nervous?"

"Not too much. It'll be weird sitting in that office when nothing's official yet, but Obaa-chan thinks it'll be good training for me for when she steps down."

"Hn."

Naruto scratched the back of his head and sighed. "Didn't you guys go out just a few days ago?"

"If you're going to whine about it, you never should've made the bet in the first place."

"I really don't think this one should count. Sakura got pregnant first."

"You said whoever _had_ a kid first, that implies birth, not conception."

Naruto scowled. "I still don't think it's fair. Hinata went early."

Sasuke grimaced. He still had nightmares about that.

She frequently missed her monthly because of the trauma she'd experienced only four months before. It wasn't until the bouts of nausea hit that he took her to the hospital, thinking she had contracted some kind of sickness, or worse, been poisoned behind his back again.

The test had been run three times to be sure and Hinata fainted in his arms when she heard the results. None of them had truly expected her to get pregnant, especially so soon. It was the most stressful time of his life. He refused all missions that kept him away longer than a day and hovered enough to put Neji's over-protectiveness to shame. More often than not, Nanami had to shoo him away with a snapping towel for both his sanity and Hinata's.

He nearly died when she went into labor an entire month before her due date. Naruto almost punched him out to keep him from storming the delivery room. Knowing she was in pain, fighting for her life and that of their child's and there was nothing he could do was the worst thing he'd ever experienced.

The baby had been so tiny and…prune-ish. To be honest, it was one of the ugliest and most beautiful things he'd ever seen. Apparently some miracles were red and wrinkled and squawked like chickens. Hikari's pinky was barely as long as his fingernail and staring at her in the incubator with tubes attached to her little body, acute fear took his breath away. He'd almost lost her before he even had her and there were so many ways he still could. How was he to protect this little person from the entire world?

Two weeks later, Sakura gave birth to a bouncing, blue-eyed, strawberry blonde boy and he had one more thing to worry about if the kid proved to be anything like his father. The thought of possibly mixing his bloodline with Naruto's in the future still gave him indigestion. Takeshi was already inordinately attached to his daughter and had mastered Sakura's glare of death by the time he could crawl.

Still, that didn't prevent Sasuke from taking advantage of the bet. One year's worth of no-strings-attached baby-sitting was nothing to sneer at when he had to vie with a cute little kid for Hinata's attention.

"So where are you two going?" Naruto asked.

"That new travelling troop boasts some skilled musicians."

"Hinata will like that," Naruto agreed. She'd become especially fond of music and storytellers given her lack of sight. One could hardly enjoy an acrobatic display when it appeared to be nothing more than a mass of glowing dots flitting back and forth.

There had been no repercussions to her version of recovered sight. The use of chakra was as negligible as maintaining a stage three Sharingan for a true Uchiha. Practice had enabled her to sharpen her focus enough that she could sometimes see behind her, something that came rather useful with actively curious children underfoot.

The fragrance of lilacs washed over them on the breeze as they passed one of the larger bushes and Naruto stared at the flowers thoughtfully.

"Say, did you ever find out what Hinata's favorite flower is?"

Sasuke smirked. "Hn."

Azure eyes turned to him. "And?"

"All of them."

Naruto snorted and shook his head. "How you ended up with the easy one, I'll never know."

"Sakura giving you problems again?"

The blonde scowled. "She's put me on some kind of a tofu protein diet. Says it'll make up for the ramen I can't eat."

Sasuke chuckled. The expression on Naruto's face the first time Hinata threw up on him had been utterly priceless, but it wasn't nearly as entertaining as when he found out it was actually the smell of the ramen he'd had for lunch that made her pregnant stomach heave. To this day Sasuke was still convinced the man was happier than them when she finally gave birth and he could start eating his favorite food again…at least for a little while.

Besides, it wasn't like Naruto was the only one to make sacrifices. The mere sight of tomatoes made her queasy too.

"I don't mind giving it up for a while, for Hinata-chan," Naruto amended at his incredulous glance, "but at least give me something that doesn't taste like soggy cardboard to replace it with."

"At least Sakura didn't mind the smell."

"Man, I don't know what I'd do if that happened."

"Start wondering who the real father is, I'd imagine." He ducked under Naruto's swing and sprinted ahead, smirking at the obscenities thrown at his back. Through the whole length of the district he dived and ducked, always staying one step ahead to the blonde's increasing frustration until the gates of his home came into sight.

Suddenly halting his steps, he watched Naruto slide right past him, arms flailing.

"Oi, you just wait until I tell Sakura-chan what you said!"

"I can always tell her about the bet."

Naruto snorted. "As if you'd want Hinata to find out."

He shrugged, striding into the compound. "She seems to be enjoying the together time you've been giving us."

Naruto muttered something unsavory under his breath as he followed him to the central courtyard. Who knew a bet made in jest would pay off so well?

The soothing mix of herbs and lavender drifted to them before they even stepped out on the porch. Hinata's garden hadn't taken over the grassy space like he'd half expected it to, mostly because he'd built her a large greenhouse on a nearby lot. She still kept some of the essentials in the courtyard, though, so she could work while watching the little one. If she was ever anywhere to be found in the house, it was here.

She and Sakura sat chatting companionably, a tray of tea and cookies between them. Hinata at least knew they were there but didn't look up until a loud squeal erupted from the pudgy little girl at her feet.

Little hands reached up, opening and closing. "Tou-tou!"

Chuckling at her attempt to say father, Sasuke picked her up and set her on his hip. She immediately latched onto his hair and stuffed the collar of his shirt in her mouth. The strawberry-blonde at his feet glowered at him and he glared right back until Naruto scooped him up and plopped him on his shoulder.

"You being good, Takeshi?"

The boy secured his hands in Naruto's blonde mop and continued to glare at the man who'd taken his playmate away. If that one proved to have even half of his father's determination, Sasuke knew he was going to have his hands full when Hikari blossomed.

Looking down at the little dark head resting on his shoulder, he smiled and she smiled back around her mouthful of clothe. Releasing the soggy mass, she reached up and patted his cheek, wide amethyst eyes swallowing her elfin face.

It was impossible to tell if she inherited the Byakugan or the Sharingan, or even an amalgamation of the two. There was no rush to know. It wasn't her abilities he adored and he'd promised himself when he first found out Hinata was pregnant that he wouldn't measure his children by what they could or couldn't do. Only will and determination mattered and Hikari had that in spades. She was a survivor, just like her mother.

From birth she simply just wanted to _be_ and he would let her. Besides, with the way Takeshi continued to bore holes into his head, it was unlikely she would ever have to fight her own battles.

"Naruto offered to watch Hikari tonight."

Hinata's face brightened, immediately forestalling all grumbling from the blonde.

"Oh, Naruto-kun, that's very kind of you."

Naruto blushed and glanced away. "It's no problem." Bouncing his shoulder, Takeshi halted his glaring long enough to giggle. "The kids like spending time together. Besides, you'll have them next wee—."

Sasuke kicked him sharply in the shin and Naruto swore, slapping a hand over his mouth a half second too late. Sakura glared at him and then shook her head as he grinned sheepishly. She'd been plenty explicit about what would happen to him if Takeshi inherited his mouth.

"Next week?" Hinata asked, standing from the step.

"Nice going, dobe," Sasuke hissed out of the side of his mouth.

"Sorry."

With a sigh, Sakura stood and stretched. "I guess we better go. Thanks for the tea, Hinata."

"Oh, you're welcome."

"Bye Sasuke, Hikari."

Sasuke nodded and the little girl in his arms twisted to watch over his shoulder as her friend was carried away.

"Do you want some tea?"

Looking down at his wife, Sasuke nodded. She sunk back down to the porch and poured him a cup while he seated himself next to her and situated Hikari in his lap.

"Did everything go well?" she asked, handing him the cup.

He quickly lifted it out of the reach of tiny hands and took a sip. "Hn."

She didn't ask for details, knowing that whatever he and Naruto had done was more than personal. There weren't many secrets between them now, but those that remained, Sasuke would take to his grave if only to protect her and Hikari.

"So what is this about next week?"

Sasuke winced and downed the rest of his tea in one gulp. "I was going to tell you tomorrow."

"Is it that bad?"

With a sigh, Sasuke deposited Hikari on the grass and gave her a cookie before the waterworks could start.

"It's just a mission. Nothing I haven't done before."

"With your team?"

"Yeah."

Her stiff posture relaxed. Team Kakashi worked like a well-oiled machine, perfect in fluidity and efficiency. Their risk of injury was high due to the ranking of missions assigned to them, but their success rate was unrivaled, thanks in part to Sakura's medical prowess. It was the best any shinobi could ask for.

"When do you leave?"

"Tuesday."

She fiddled with the edge of her shirt. "How long will you be gone?"

"A week."

Her fingers stilled. "A w-week?"

With a sigh, he slid the tea tray back. "Come here."

She shifted towards him and he pulled her into his lap. This was why he didn't want to talk about it tonight. Now she would be all worried and unable to enjoy the evening he'd planned.

Tucking his nose into her hair, he breathed her scent to settle his own insecurities before attempting to sooth hers.

"I've already asked Neji if he'll be around. He and Tenten are willing to stay here if you want, or they can just stop in every day and give you a break from the kids."

She plucked listlessly at his sleeve. She'd never wanted to be one of those wives who worried endlessly every time their husband was away, and she had become accustomed to his increasing number of missions though none of them ever kept him away so long. He didn't like the extended separation anymore than she did. It was just that…so many things could go wrong in a week.

"Hinata." He tugged on her hair, but she only buried her face in his shoulder, just wanting to be as close to him as possible.

Sighing softly, he kissed the nape of her neck. "None of us would be going if this wasn't a vital mission." Both Naruto and Sakura would be leaving their son behind, but they'd all agreed protecting the future of their children was worth the sacrifice. Team Kakashi was only ever called upon when no one else could get the job done.

His hand slipped down to caress the swell of her stomach that could be felt but not yet seen. One had been a miracle, but two? And so close together? Sakura assured him Hinata's body had fully recovered from Hikari's birth and while there was a possibility this one could be born premature as well, if it had an ounce of the willpower overflowing in its parents, its survival was assured. For this little life and all the ones that came after it, he'd accepted this mission without hesitation.

The world looked different through the eyes of fatherhood; every corner was too sharp, every floor too hard, every piece of food too big. How he was going to survive Hikari's enrollment in the Academy without turning as gray as Kakashi, he didn't know. But at least, for his part, he could make the world a little safer for them.

Hinata's petite hand covered his and she looked up. He brushed a soft kiss against her lips and she tangled her fingers in his hair, pulling him back for more. They seldom needed words between them anymore. Their action and touches said it all.

_I'm scared._

_I know._

_What if you don't come back?_

_I will always come back._

_But what if you don't?_

Sasuke crushed her against him with a growl, but his hand remained gentle on her belly.

_**Always.**_

She whimpered and softened in his arms, choosing faith over fear. He had defied death more than once to come back to her and, stubborn man that he was, he would do it again.

Something grabbed hold of his pants and pulled, penetrating the hunger Hinata never ceased to stir in him and Sasuke reluctantly pulled away to look at the little person trying to climb up his leg. With two fistfuls of clothe, Hikari dragged herself up onto wobbly legs and grinned happily at them.

"She been doing that a lot?" he asked.

Hinata smiled. "Yes."

"Remind me to baby-proof the house before I leave." The last thing he needed was for her to get into his kunai.

Hinata giggled and reached for their daughter. "Come on, Hikari. Let's get you a bath so you'll be all pretty for Takeshi-kun."

Hikari squealed and clapped her hands excitedly.

Pulling a knee up to his chest, Sasuke draped his arm over it and watched Hinata bounce the babe up and down.

This was never the future he imagined for himself when he first set out on the path of revenge, but somewhere along the broken road, a light flickered in the darkness. He couldn't help but turn his steps to follow and before he knew it, that light was all he could see, all he ever wanted to see.

"_Could it be, little brother, you have found something else to live for?__"_

Hinata looked back at him and smiled. "Are you coming, Sasuke?"

Picking up the forgotten tea tray, he strode across the grass and slipped his arm around her waist, fingers brushing against a tiny foot.

_Yes, I have._

* * *

**~End~**

* * *

**Aniki- **older brother/big brother

**Takeshi- **warrior

**Hikari- **light

I want to thank everyone for their fabulous reviews and support throughout the posting of this story. It truly did become more epic than I anticipated. Also huggles to all my chibi shy shadow readers that always enjoy my work regardless of where you are hiding.

I have no current plans for another story so please continue to enjoy the ones I have already posted until the muse strikes me again.


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